


A Harrowing Ordeal

by Enchant



Series: Two Wardens Are Better Than One [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Adventure, Banter, Character Death, Character Development, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Fear, Fear of Death, Flashbacks, Fluff, Friendship, Humour, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Past Sexual Abuse, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Sex Magic, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-13
Updated: 2014-07-24
Packaged: 2018-01-19 05:26:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 52
Words: 141,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1457287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enchant/pseuds/Enchant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when Duncan recruits two Grey Wardens instead of one?</p><p>A pragmatic Circle mage and an idealistic noble; this is their tale. </p><p>[Includes some past sexual abuse in a few chapters, DA2 spoilers and smut in the middle.] Very slightly AU and there will be some changes here and there, particularly in later chapters. </p><p>
  <b>Being edited as of Jan 2016 so it matches sequel quality.</b>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fear

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to FF.net, decided to add it here too.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Edited Jan 2016*
> 
> General overhaul. Neri fights something new in this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is my Origin fic. As the summary suggests, there are two Wardens here. One, Arietta Cousland and one, Neri Surana. I do consider this fic to be kinda AU just because of some of the changes having two Wardens creates, but it does follow the story of the game for the most part.
> 
> As of January, 2016, I am editing this baby because it is olddd now. I will put a little edit note up here on the chapters' summaries that have been done as I go through and update them. I am hoping I don't end up changing too much stuff, but again, I'll leave notes if I do.
> 
> So general warnings for this fic: potty mouthed characters-my edits especially seem to be adding in even more swear words. There's also adult themed stuff throughout-flashbacks of sexual and physical abuse. Mentions of a miscarriage. That kinda thing. This first chapter definitely has quite a few (not too explicit) mentions of those things, so consider yourself warned.
> 
> If you are here because you want to read the two sequels to this, then I welcome you with open arms-but do be warned, this is being edited right now for a reason. It needs it. So if you'd rather read the more recent 'Sacrifices' fics then those are both stand alone and easy to pick up.
> 
> Finally, need to throw out a big thanks to ElyssaCousland for the beta work. You are a star.
> 
> So, without further ado, here's the start of Neri and Arietta' story.
> 
> Enjoy!

Neri was freezing her tits off. And considering she had hardly any tits as it was…she wasn't too happy with that fact.

The air itself was cold enough to leave her bones aching, but it was the fucking _fog_ making her clothes damp enough to cling to her cold skin that was pissing her off the most. And with no way to warm herself up without risking setting the entire boat on fire because she sucked at elemental spells, she was stuck just grumbling about it and admiring the 'view'. The view being thick swirls of fog and the silhouette of the Tower that loomed above all foreboding against the black starless sky.

She hated that place, her gut twisted into knots just thinking about going back there. Not that she could recall why she'd left at all…She frowned as she tried to remember.

 _Balls_ , something wasn't right here.

That's when she spotted Anders and Solona standing on the dock, waving at her and grinning. Neri immediately felt warmer upon seeing her friends. It felt like it had been forever since she'd seen them. Sol… wasn't wearing much at all and Neri found herself roaming her eyes over all of the white skin revealed to her, all those delicious feminine curves. Then she realised Anders was without any clothes at all and her mouth went dry at the sight. They were both smirking as they started to kiss one another, their hands grabbing and fondling. Neri glanced at the boat's oars, willing them to go faster. That's when she realised they were paddling by themselves, just listlessly dunking into the water and slowly moving them forwards, all on their own.

 _Oh_.

This was _the Fade_.

The demon that had conjured up this place had done a pretty good job of it, up until she came to her senses a bit more. Did it really think boats paddled themselves? Fucking idiot. She was about to call out the demon for their absolute shite attempt at recreating her world when her boat suddenly rocked violently. It toppled sideways, and her along with it.

The splash into the water wasn't anything like it should have been; there was no shock of cold or even any wetness. It felt more like thick air, a bit like the fog the demons had conjured. She could even breathe in it. She rolled her eyes and began to swim. Already fed up of whatever games the demon was playing with her.

Neri hadn't gotten very far before something grabbed her ankle and yanked her downwards. She kicked and struggled, even sent a blast of her force magic down, hoping it would hit home. It did, but as soon as it let go, another grabbed her. She didn't even know _what_ was grabbing her. It felt like hands. Fingers curled around her narrow ankles…and not just any fingers, she realised. Calloused thick ones. Her breath hitched in her throat. She knew those hands.

She kicked harder only for her back to thump into something, knocking the breath from her lungs. The hands that had been grabbing at her legs were suddenly around her thin neck, squeezing. She stared wide eyed up at the monster made of black smoke barely taking shape above her. The only clear features were its cold grey eyes. The ones that always made her chest tighten with fear. She clawed at the hands around her neck but those fingers only squeezed tighter. He started to laugh as she struggled uselessly against him.

She never could fight him off. Not that she ever really tried.

But this wasn't the real him. This was some fucked up Fade version. He might have had all the power and control in the Tower but not here, not in the Fade. This was _her_ domain.

She squeezed her eyes shut and willed the fuck-face to piss off.

When she opened her eyes again she was in a bed. Not just any bed either, Solona's bed. She sighed in relief, glad the nightmare had ended.

"About time you woke up," Sol said, her big blue eyes sparkling mischievously as she trailed her fingers over Neri's bare stomach.

Neri smirked up at the human as she lifted her hand to catch a strand of inky black hair as it fell across Sol's face. She tucked it back behind her ear, pausing to cup her fellow mage's soft cheek. "How long was I out for?"

"Far too long. I was tempted to wake you up myself…" Something wicked twitched at the corners of her mouth. "But you look so damned cute when you're sleeping."

Neri rolled her eyes, smiling in spite of herself. "Oh shut it."

"Make me," Sol said, with a challenging twitch of her brow.

Neri nearly leaned up to kiss those plump red lips, her fingers curling into the too-soft sheets of Sol's bed. She paused half way there. The Circle Tower's bedding never felt this soft. She sighed heavily, hanging her head in disappointment. She was still in the Fade. Of course she was. Her and Sol hadn't shared a bed for…a long time now. Neri hadn't wanted to.

"It's been so long," Sol purred, suddenly at her ear, all that hot breath washing over the point. Neri shivered and risked a glance up. Demon-Sol's eyes had turned into big black pools, her lids hooded. "Don't you want to have some fun?" she husked, smirk twitching at her lips. Neri struggled to swallow and the demons' smirk widened.

The imposter suddenly moved and straddled Neri's bony hips. All that weight sitting right on top of her and _rocking_ against her nude flesh had Neri biting back a groan. Demon-Sol lifted Neri's hands from the bedding and placed them on those curvy hips and Neri felt her fingers curl into the supple flesh that felt so very close to the real thing.

She ran her eyes up Sol's body, or the demon's scarily accurate version of it, taking in the porcelain white skin, those big round breasts with the rose red nipples, all the way up to the ebony hair that fell in soft waves just past Sol's shoulders. She was fucking gorgeous and the demon bloody well knew it.

Bollocks.

"Touch me," the imposter whispered. "I know you want to." She wiggled her hips again and Neri bit down on her tongue until she tasted blood as she tried to fight the overwhelming desire flooding through her. She usually had better control than this, but this demon was strong, able to get right into her head.

"I do, but only the real Sol. Not some bullshit desire demon," Neri growled.

"My dear, your body says otherwise," Sol said as she leaned down, letting her hair tickle at Neri's skin. "I can feel the pounding of your heart." The demon ran her hands gently up Neri's sides, over her ribs then across the top of her breasts. "You want this, want me. Just let me in."

Having hot hands on her when it had been so long…It was hard to say no, but she grit her teeth and did just that. "No. Piss off before I blow you to smithereens."

The demon pouted with Sol's red lips. "Perhaps you want someone else…someone you can't have at all?"

"No-" Neri's protest was cut off as the demon shimmered into a different form; one Neri had seen countless times before and missed dearly. _Balls_. Anders' lips twisted into a knowing smirk, his amber eyes glistening smugly.

"Maker, I've missed you," he said in a rush.

Neri moaned.

Anders had been in solitary for so long now. Months. It wasn't right for him to be locked up like that. They hadn't even let him out after—

"Now, now," Anders said as he began to kiss his way up her body. "None of that. Let's just enjoy the time we _do_ have together."

She found her fingers slipping into his hair, his damned silky hair. He moaned very convincingly against her as he began to kiss and lick his way around a nipple. She arched her back, pressing up into that touch. It felt so good to be touched by someone other than that monster… not that a demon was much better. She forced her hands out of his hair and back to the bedding. She couldn't do this, not with this creature.

"Come on," he begged. "We don't have long together."

She turned her head to the side, trying to ignore the desperate lilt of his voice and those pleading eyes. "You're _not_ him."

"You still want me though."

"I don't."

"You can't lie to me," he said as he began to suck at her neck, right over that sensitive pulse point.

Fucking fuck, she was letting a _demon_ do this to her. Stupidly, she actually felt safe with it doing it. Anyone would feel safe compared to Albert.

"Shhh," Anders cooed. "I've got you. I won't let him hurt you again."

She laughed bitterly. "Fixing it with sex, how very Anders-like." She glared up at the demon that had taken her lover's face and watched as they frowned. Neri's skin suddenly prickled with gooseflesh as a cold chill blew into the demon-conjured bedroom and the demon's face paled, eyes going wide with fear.

"Time to go," Anders said, hopping off of her quickly. "If you know what's good for you, you'd come with me."

Neri laughed again. "You can drop the act, good as it is."

The demon actually looked scared, it was weird. "This was supposed to be a simple test for you, but-"

"Begone foul demon!" a voice roared from the darkness that had suddenly consumed them. The demon disintegrated into dust and Neri stared out into the gloom around her, her breath panting out in huge clouds around her. She knew that voice. But he was gone. They'd taken him away. He couldn't _actually_ be here. That was impossible. It was impossible. But anything was possible in the Fade. She had to remember that. Had to remember she was in the Fade.

Through the darkness, she heard his heavy footfalls and the rattle of his armour, getting closer. Fear rooted her to the spot as she stared out into the darkness, waiting for him to appear. She always waited for him. She had to. It was their agreement. The only way Anders stayed safe. She had to be good.

She spotted the glint of silver first before he came fully into view. He was always so tall, so strong, so much bigger than her. And she was so cold, so frozen with fear, the only warmth from the falling tears down her cheeks. He started to laugh, a deep rumble of a sound. It echoed all around her, feeling like it was at her ear one moment then on the other side of the room the next. Her eyes never left him though, watching as Albert stalked forward, his hands clasped behind his back, his head held high. He was always so proud. So strong and proud and _cruel_.

Those uncaring grey eyes bored into her as he approached and she could see the harsh sneer twisting his lips. "You let him run again," he said, his tone so cold it made her shiver.

Her lip could only quiver in response, no words willing to slip past.

"I told you to _make_ him stay," he said coolly. "Did you suck his cock? Did you let him fuck your pathetic little cunt?" She whimpered, as her heart slammed against her chest with every fast beat, threatening to break her ribs. He stared down at her, standing just a foot away, his face contorting with disgust. "Perhaps you don't know how."

He went to grab her, just as he had done countless times. But this time she ran, her feet finally listening to her. She ran and ran, through the darkness, trying desperately to ignore the laughter following her. She couldn't see a thing in all this gloom, even with her elven eyes. She just knew she needed to get away. Whatever that demon was, it was powerful. She didn't think she'd ever met one that strong before. That also explained why the desire demon had been so scared, too. And hadn't it mentioned that this was-

Fucking bollocks.

It'd said it was a _test_. Her Harrowing? She couldn't remember them ever waking her for it but that didn't mean they hadn't. Fuck. If that was the demon she needed to fend off then she was right bloody bollocked. Its laughter got louder, loud enough to shake the ground under her feet. She cursed as she lost her footing and hit the ground hard, scuffing up her elbow in the process. She grit her teeth and got back to her feet to run again. She needed to get out of this demon's domain. Somehow. Usually the only way to do that was to fight the demon and win, though. But it had taken all her strength just to move her feet and now she couldn't stop them to turn and face him even if she wanted to.

Something warm slipped down her legs, something warm and wet; she rubbed at it with her hand, pulling it back to find it red with blood. "No," she sobbed. "No, not again." She kept running but her gut cramped up with pain and she ended up back on her knees, crying out in pain. It wasn't _real_. It couldn't be. Just like _he_ couldn't be. It was just the demon's tricks. If this was really her Harrowing, then she couldn't let it _win_. She tried to get up but fell again as pain tore through her.

It was as she was lying on her back, clutching her stomach, that he appeared out of the shadows again. Walking slowly and smugly toward her.

Fucking bastard.

"What are you, demon?" she bit out through clenched teeth. His lips twisted into something like a feral smile, but it looked extra gruesome with a demon pulling the strings of that expression.

"Your greatest fear, of course."

He crouched down in front of her, his lifeless grey eyes watching her carefully. "You fear this face, what it represents. How weak you feel when you see it. How worthless. The pain it put you through comes flooding back." The Albert-demon tilted its head. "This face is gone yet you still suffer with the memories." He leaned in close and all she could do was watch as he cupped her face, her body shuddering in repulsion. "I can take those memories away, for good. All the pain, all the panic attacks and flashbacks, they'd be gone forever."

Neri's breath came out in shallow pants as she stared up at the demon. To never have to think about Albert again…to not even remember him… Anders was _safe_ now, safe from him. She could… she could just forget it ever happened and finally move on. Be _happy_ again. She'd forgotten what that felt like.

"No more being frightened, no more nightmares," he whispered. "You'll finally be free of him, of what he did to you. You just have to say the word, and I'll do it. I'll take that burden from you."

She bit into her lip, worried her answer would fly past her lips if she didn't. Maker she wanted that. She hadn't slept properly for _months_. Hadn't been able to enjoy anything like she used to. She _missed_ that. But this was a demon. It wasn't doing this to _help_ her. She squeezed her eyes shut, sighing roughly.

"No," she whispered, looking back at him. "No deal, asshole."

The demon's hand fell from her cheek. "Have it your way," he said, standing.

His form shifted. Growing in size, into something monstrous. Extra legs grew out of its back, looking much like a spiders legs and the top of its head became nothing but smoky grey flesh and slimy tentacles. Its maw opened with a screech, razor sharp teeth flashing at her before it began to cast. Neri barely had time to throw up her barrier before a huge black and green spell exploded against it. Her barrier held and she got to her feet, trying to figure out how she was going to kill this fucking thing.

She doubted her glyphs would be strong enough to do shit, nor her hexes—and somehow she doubted those would even work against a demon of fear, which she was pretty sure this thing was.

"You don't stand a chance against me, little elf," it called out as another powerful spell slammed into her barrier.

She was fortunate her barrier spells were easily the strongest magic she had, even more so when in the Fade itself. She directed a blast of force magic right at the creature's head, watching with a smug little smirk as it whipped the demon's head to the side from the force of the blow. She hit its leg next, making it stumble. Naturally, that's when it started levitating instead of walking.

"You look like an idiot floating about," she shouted at it.

She sent a wave of magic down from the sky, and remarkably, it hit the demon hard enough to slam it to the ground. A giggle slipped past her lips as it face-planted the floor. And just like that, gone was the last of her fear, she realised. It might look like the vilest demon she had ever seen, but just knowing none of this was real was enough to give her back some of her fight. And it seemed like, despite the demon having some strong spells, it wasn't resistant to _hers_. Most of its power appeared to be in the form of psychologically twisting people, getting them to hand over their memories and nightmares, but she was done with it trying to manipulate her. She was gonna kick its arse now.

It was only just getting back to its feet when she picked it up and slammed it back into the ground with more magic. It groaned and hissed at her and sent out a rush of black fire that washed harmlessly over her barrier. She picked the demon up and tossed it to the ground again, feeling stronger and closer to victory with every passing second.

"You picked on the wrong mage," she growled as she stalked forwards. "You thought I'd be an easy target because of all the shit I've been through. But that shit only made me stronger—don't you think I've had demons circling me for _months_ now? All of them whispering to me that they can make me stronger, make the pain go away, make me happy? You're the first that offered to take my memories, I'll give you that…but you're still a piece of shit demon, and I'm going to destroy you like I destroyed all the others."

It snarled at her and drew upon his magic once more. The black fog that churned around them drawn up into its hands, into the balls of swirling black and green magic in its palms. And then it unleashed it all, right at her. She grit her teeth as the spell struck, wave after wave of the stuff slamming full force into her barrier.

Her protective spell flickered, then sputtered out.

Neri was thrown backwards by the blast that hit her. She felt her skin burn and sting, screams leaving her mouth as she tumbled across the ground before finally coming to a stop some ways away from where she had been standing. Her flesh felt like it had melted right down to the bone; she could barely suck in a breath because of it.

But she forced her head up, panting through clenched teeth as she peered up at him through the long blonde, slightly scorched curls that had fallen over her face. The demon glided toward, those sharp teeth flashing her in a malicious grin.

"You were saying?" it asked.

She staggered back to her feet, not daring to glance down at the burned flesh covering much of her body; the smell was enough for her to know she wouldn't be on her feet much longer. It was now or never. The demon knew it too and began casting another of the same spell. She did the same, summoning all the mana she could, leeching it away from everything the demon was drawing into itself.

With a scream, she cast her crushing prison spell.

It started out at its legs, crushing them together, twisting the bones as it squeezed. The demon let out a frustrated cry as its spell began to sputter in its palm as it lost focus. Her spell spread higher, the magic locking into place around its waist now too. The demon struggled, twisting and rocking in place, fighting her magic but that only made the tendrils of blue creep higher, pulling its twisted arms down against its sides where the spell wove tightly around it. The demon's spell died entirely and it roared in annoyance.

"You cannot destroy me!" it wailed.

"Watch me," Neri grunted as her spell finally reached that demon's head, tugging down all the extra tentacles and legs it had growing out of its back and head and wrapping them tight around its neck. The demon sucked in a gasping breath, still grappling with its restraints but it was no use, Neri had it now. Her spell enveloped the demon, silencing it and then she really began to clench her fists, crushing it to death.

She collapsed to her knees and let her spell dissipate a moment later, watching as nothing but dust settled on the ground where the demon had been. She would have grinned if her face hadn't been burned to a crisp. Instead she watched a breathlessly as the black fog blew away and as the rest of the Fade crumbled around her.

She'd won. She'd passed her Harrowing.


	2. Stranger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Edited Jan 2016*
> 
> General overhaul. One brief scene with Arietta POV added. Angrier Neri.

Neri stormed through the halls.

She'd woken up pissed off, with a cracking headache, and then had to deal with Jowan of all people blabbering at her. While normally she would sympathise, that was the last thing she had wanted to hear upon waking. There was only one person she wanted to speak with, or rather, scream at as it was likely to be.

She didn't usually get properly _angry_. She got annoyed or pissed off or frustrated. But that usually had her shouting abuse at something before storming off to cool down or just giving up because she'd ran out of fucks to give. But right now she was furious. Harrowings were bad enough as it was—mages taken in the middle of the night to go do them, forced to pass the test or get cut down by the Templars for taking too long or failing—but as far as she could tell, _that_ had been no normal Harrowing. And that was on Greagoir.

There were voices coming from the First Enchanter's office. Some she didn't know, but one belonged to Greagoir, and that was enough to see her picking up her pace. She shoved the door open, her eyes briefly flickering over the people inside—Irving, standing with his back to the fire, his hands clasped behind his back; two strangers, one with a thick black beard and dark skin, the other with long brown hair all tied up, and big blue eyes that reminded Neri of Solona; and finally, Greagoir himself. It was on him that her glare settled. He had been mid-sentence until she had burst in through the doors, now he was frowning at her.

"What the _fuck_ was that?" Neri hissed.

Greagoir's frown deepened, his bushy eyebrows pulling down in annoyance. "I beg your pardon, Mage Surana."

She let out a scathing snort. "You pull me out of bed in the middle of the fucking night-"

"That is standard procedure for all Harrowings," Greagoir said calmly.

"Is it standard fucking procedure to fight off a strong desire demon _and_ some sort of powerful fear demon?"

"A demon of fear?" Irving croaked, he too glanced at Greagoir, scowling.

"We never… it was a standard Harrowing," Greagoir explained. "No fear demons involved."

"Well guess what, I fought a fucking fear demon!"

Greagoir rubbed at his quickly reddening temple. "That's impossible, all Harrowings are done under controlled conditions…"

"It _killed_ that other demon and came after me," she argued. "It offered to _take_ my memories. Do you know how hard it was to say no to that after-" Neri glanced at the two strangers watching things unfold with interest and shut her mouth. "After everything. And then I had to _kill_ it."

Greagoir looked down at the ground, whether in contemplation or shame, she couldn't say; he always was good at guarding his true thoughts and feelings. "I will investigate this," he said. He glanced back up at Irving and the two strangers. "We've committed enough of our own to this war, I will have no others leave."

"Your own," Irving huffed. "Since when have you felt such kinship with the mages, Greagoir?"

Greagoir grit his teeth, his scowl deepening as it levelled on Irving. "I have done what any Knight-Commander should."

Neri scoffed, loudly and Greagoir sighed heavily. "This is a discussion for another time. I have an investigation to begin." He glanced at the two strangers, dipping his head, then left without another word.

Neri was still seething, her arms folded tightly across her chest as Irving regarded her with a small smile. "I am truly sorry for what you faced during your Harrowing, child." She nodded tightly and Irving's shoulders slumped a little. "Allow me to introduce you to Duncan. He is a Grey Warden. And this is Arietta Cousland, his most recent recruit."

Neri's anger slipped away as her curiosity got the better of her. She'd never met a Warden before—she'd read about them, of course; the Tower had quite a few books on Wardens, on the heroes of old and the devastation the Blights wrought. And she _had_ heard the rumours, even cloistered away as she had been the past few months, about the armies amassing down south. Some mages had already left to help fight darkspawn, or so the rumours said. She had Solona for most of her gossip and that mage was rarely wrong with her information.

This Duncan was dark skinned, his eyes a shimmering grey-brown, his beard neatly trimmed, only just starting to be flecked with grey, and his armour was shined to perfection. He was quite the stark contrast to the messy-bearded First Enchanter with his patched up robes and weathered face. And the recruit with the noble's name. She was a pretty thing, tall and lean, her skin creamy white, cheeks a rosy pink and her nose slightly upturned. All those pretty features were framed by a tangle of light chestnut brown hair.

"Nice to meet you both," Neri said, smiling. Duncan gave her a small nod, something lighting his eyes further as he watched her. Arietta, however, barely gave a nod, her big blue eyes mostly trained on the ground.

"Duncan is here recruiting for the King's army at Ostagar," Irving explained. There was something in his eyes too that caught Neri's eye. And she found herself watching him for one curious moment.

"We need all the help we can get," Duncan said. His voice was _nice_. Calm and smooth but also a little age-roughened. Definitely sexy though.

"So… Is it a Blight?" she asked.

Duncan shifted on his feet and she watched the swallow of his throat. "I am worried that if we do not push the darkspawn back now, there may be a Blight," he said grimly, nodding.

Neri's ears drooped a bit at that. While interesting reads, books on the Blight were also incredibly depressing, and for obvious reasons; they came with huge death tolls and long-lasting damage to the land itself. Other than fighting to stop the darkspawn, she wasn't sure what would actually happen to the Circle if Ferelden was swallowed up by a horde of darkspawn. She assumed they'd just transfer them, and keep transferring them until there were no Circles left for them to go to.

"Duncan, you worry the poor girl," Irving said, head shaking. "It is supposed to be a happy day for her."

Neri snorted, loudly. Three sets of eyes looked at her and she coughed into her hand. "Let's be honest, being Harrowed meant I did _not_ wake up on the right side of the bed this morning."

Irving sighed. "Your Harrowing is over. You are officially a mage." He smiled kindly. "Take joy in that and all it brings."

"I'll try very hard to," she said flippantly.

"Irving tells me you are the youngest ever mage to complete her Harrowing," Duncan said. "Congratulations."

"It's not like I had a choice when I did it," she grumbled. They'd probably only forced her to do it now because of everything that had happened. She was considered a 'concern'. And so they had thrown her to the dogs to see if she had the strength of mind to pull through it all. Fuckers.

"Neria…" Irving warned.

She huffed out a sigh. "Sorry," she said, glancing at all three of the people in the room with her as she tucked a loose long curl back behind her ear. "It's just very fresh in my mind right now."

"I know, child," Irving said with a sympathetic smile. "Whether you feel like it or not, I am to give you this staff, these robes, and this ring." He passed her the items and she took them with an arched brow. The robes were a slightly re-designed but no less hideous version of her apprentice robes. "Take your time to rest, you have been through a great deal."

"And we should return to our quarters until Greagoir is willing to speak some more," Duncan said, giving his recruit a nod. "Thank you for your time, First Enchanter."

"We might as well walk together, then," Neri said, unable to hide the excited lilt to her voice.

They exited the room together, with Neri at Duncan's side and the noble walking silently behind them. "So…" Neri said after a few footsteps. "Are you recruiting more Wardens? Or are you only here to get more mages for the army?"

Duncan regarded her with his dark eyes and something slightly amused twitched at his lips. "Both, if possible." He let a small sigh slip out. "I had hoped Irving would let me see some of the mages in action. He is protective of you all, though. And Greagoir is not keen to see more leave."

"That doesn't surprise me at all," she mumbled. "How bad is it?" she asked as she pulled open a door for them all.

"I believe it is wise to prepare for the worst."

"I guess that makes sense. Bit depressing though, considering the worst is literally a triple Blight with every single darkspawn in existence flooding the surface and-" Duncan was watching her with slightly alarmed eyes. "That's probably not helping, is it?"

"Probably not."

"How many Wardens are there in Ferelden? If you're recruiting then you obviously think you need more, right?"

"I do think that. As I said, I think we would do well to prepare for the worst." She nodded and focused on walking for a moment. Wardens had the ability to conscript recruits… she wasn't foolish enough to think that joining the Wardens would be an easy life, but anything was better than staying here. She didn't want to just outright _ask_ though. And she probably hadn't made the best first impression on him, either. _Piss_.

"Tell me," he said, "what do you think of the Order?"

"I'd be an idiot not to respect everything the Wardens have done over the years," she replied. "You _were_ cooler and more interesting to read about when you had griffons, though."

A chuff of laughter escaped him and she grinned up at him. "If I may say so, I think you would be an invaluable member to the Order."

She stopped dead in her tracks, her eyes slightly wide. "Really?"

A soft smile tugged his lips upward. "Irving speaks highly of you. He says you are a very talented mage."

She felt heat on her cheeks and ducked her head, smiling shyly. "He's too kind. But…" She chewed on her lip and glanced up at Duncan through her lashes. "I want to leave. You caught the tail-end of things just now… I would gladly join the Wardens and fight darkspawn the rest of my days if it meant I didn't have to stay here, with the memories."

The edges of his eyes crinkled as he nodded. "I will see what I can do for you."

"Thank you," she said quietly, unable to hide the hopeful smile at her lips.

They reached the guest quarters and Neri pulled the door open for them, only to have something huge and slobbery barrel into her, knocking her on her ass and making her let out a loud undignified yelp of surprise. It was some kind of dog, she realised as it started licking her face, and she tried to get it off of her but the damned thing weighed like twenty of her.

"Blossom, off!" the noble shouted, her voice brokering no argument. The hound jumped off Neri and bounded over to its owner, happily wagging its stump of a tail. Neri couldn't get over how big this thing was. Duncan helped her up and Neri wiped the slobber from her face with the sleeve of her soon-to-be-old robes.

"I'm sorry," Arietta said. "She doesn't usually-"

"It's fine," Neri replied, her eyes still wide as she watched the hound happily sniffing at the rug. "What _is_ she?"

There was something proud in the smile that twitched at the noble's lips. "A mabari war hound." The dog let out a short bark, almost confirming her owner's words. "You've never seen one before?"

"Nope."

"They're a smart breed, usually bond with one owner. She _should_ have known better than to tackle someone." The dog whined, head tilting. "Yes, I'm talking about you, now back in the room." The dog actually huffed as it trotted back into the Warden quarters and Neri watched, completely bemused.

"Well, I might see you later, then," Neri said to them both, dipping her head.

"It's been a pleasure, Mage Surana," Duncan said, smiling.

Neri smiled back. It really had.

* * *

 

"Seriously, they're the talk of the whole Tower, Neri," Solona said as she flopped back onto Neri's new bed. "And I'm not surprised given how beautiful they both are."

"Of course you've seen them," Neri laughed as she joined Sol on the bed.

"Wouldn't be very good at my job if I hadn't."

"Yes, your very important job as queen of gossip," Neri scoffed.

Sol flashed her a grin. "So come on, tell me more about them. Nobody else here has actually spoken to them like you did. What's your read on the pretty one?"

"They're both pretty Sol, be more specific."

The human rolled her eyes, smiling as she did so. "The _woman._ She looked pretty…meek when I saw her, head down, hair a mess around her face, eyes dark with bags under them. She looked lost in thought. Just looking at her made me sad."

Neri nodded thoughtfully. "She was quiet, didn't say much. She has a mabari warhound though and she's a noble, one of those Couslands from up north."

"Nobility," Solona purred. "In the Wardens? My, my, I bet that's a juicy story."

"Or a tragic one…"

"Hmm, true." She ruffled her dark locks, staring up at the ceiling. "What about that Duncan then? What's _he_ like?"

"His voice is sexy."

"Neri _he's_ sexy, full stop."

She chuckled. "Fine, yeah. But I dunno, he was calm but worried about the darkspawn down south."

"Typical Warden stuff then."

"He's preparing for the worst."

Solona propped herself up on an elbow, her eyes bright with interest. "He suspects a Blight?" she whispered. Neri nodded. "Wow. That's huge news. I mean… we all suspected. But to have a Warden suspect it too…"

"Yeah."

"Do you reckon that noble would want _cheering_ up? Maybe they both would," Sol said, eyebrows wiggling. Neri hit her with a pillow.

"Arietta didn't strike me as the rug-munching type, Sol and I really doubt _he's_ going to do anything to the mages here when he's trying to _recruit_ them."

Solona laughed, her shoulders shaking with mirth. "You're probably right, especially about the noble. They're all so stuck up. All except for my family, of course."

"Yeah, you're a special kind of noble."

They laughed together for a few moments before growing quiet. Both of them on their backs on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. They hadn't done this for… Neri didn't even know how long. She certainly hadn't _laughed_ for a long while. It felt good. Speaking with Duncan had really lifted her spirits apparently. She might be able to leave this place, but that _would_ mean leaving Sol… and Anders and everyone else she cared about.

"It feels like old times, doesn't it?" Sol said.

"Yeah." Neri swallowed. "I'm sorry I haven't been-"

Sol rolled onto her side, frowning. "Don't apologise. Don't you ever apologise for needing time. Maker knows I wish you didn't… that none of it had happened at all. I wish you'd told me, I wish I'd _noticed_. I-"

"Sol, we've discussed this," Neri sighed. "I got good at hiding it because I had to, for Anders. It's not anyone's fault." She smiled softly, watching as Solona reluctantly nodded her head. "I think… I think the Warden might try to-"

"Neri?" Jowan suddenly asked from her doorway. She barely held back the groan as she turned to look at him.

"Hey." His hands were clasped in front of him, barely stopping them from fidgeting and Neri immediately sat up. "What's wrong?"

"I—you recall what we discussed earlier?" he asked. She nodded. Annoyed as she had been, Tranquility was something all apprentices feared. It was probably the worst ritual the Tower used—Annulment and Harrowings taking up the other two spots. "I need to speak to you privately," he said with a brief but apologetic glance at Sol. "Could we go somewhere else?"

"Sure." Neri slid from the bed, smiling at Sol one last time before she followed Jowan down several long corridors.

He had always been the nervous sort. Neri tended not to give too many fucks about anything unless it directly involved her friends—which by now was almost everyone in the Tower—but Jowan was the sort to be nervous all the time, about everything. Someone on the upper floors, someone who he never saw, could come down with a head cold and Jowan would hole up away from everyone else just not to catch it. He'd actually done that once. He was just a compulsive worrier. It drove her crazy sometimes, but she could understand the paranoia, living in a place like this.

He led her to the Chapel and introduced her to his… girlfriend. Jowan wasn't like the rest of Neri's friends, Neri's very sex-loving friends. Jowan had always stayed away from all of that, kept to himself quite a bit. It made him a good study partner but little else. So the fact that he now had a secret girlfriend was pretty surprising, more so that it was a Chantry initiate, a priest in training. She was a pretty thing, petite with fiery red hair and equally red lips and seemed just as shy as Jowan was. Neri had to wonder how they ended up together at all.

"I'm very happy for you both… really. But _why_ are you telling me about your secret girlfriend, Jowan?"

"Because they're going to make me Tranquil!" he blurted. "They'll take everything I have from me. My dreams. My hopes. My fears. And my love, Lily!" His lip quivered and Neri blinked a few times, trying to process this. He seemed so _certain_ it was happening. Neri glanced up at the Chantry initiate.

"I take it you found out somehow?"

Lily nodded. "I saw the document on Greagoir's desk. Irving and Greagoir had both signed it. They're going to do it tomorrow."

"Fuck." She ran a hand through her long hair, her head shaking. "Why do they want to make you Tranquil?"

Jowan started to pace, wringing his hands in front of him. "They think I'm a blood mage! But I'm not, I swear it. I've just been sneaking around at night to see Lily." He stared desperately at Neri, his lip quivering. "Please, you have to help us. I can't tell them about my relationship otherwise they'll punish Lily, that's if they even believe me. It's not like many girls fall for me around here…"

"Jowan, shh," Lily said as she squeezed her boyfriend's hand.

"What do you need me to do?" Neri asked.

"Then you'll help?" Jowan asked hopefully.

"Give us your plan first, then, we'll see."

His shoulders sunk a bit but he nodded. "We need to escape… I _know_ Anders told you a few of his escape routes… ones that event the Templars haven't figured out yet, right?"

He _had._ But Neri wasn't about to give those up in case Anders eve wanted to use them again. There were _other_ ways out of the Tower though.

"All of those are irrelevant with your phylactery still in the basement. Don't you think I would have left long ago if I could get down there to destroy mine—assuming mine _is_ down there still. They usually ship mage phylacteries off to Denerim. I've heard they only keep apprentice ones here."

She tapped her chin. But the idea of getting down there to _check_ something like that was certainly tempting. If it was there, she could escape with them. She would consider it her back up plan should the Warden idea fall through.

"I've got a plan for that," he said firmly.

"Alright, lay it on me."

 


	3. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Edited as of Jan 2016*

 

Neri already had the rod of fire that they planned to use to burn their way through to the phylactery chamber door. Whether it would work or not, she had no clue. It definitely sounded far too easy so far, and there were a few things she wanted to check first before putting her neck on the line for her friend.

Irving looked up from his desk as she entered his office. He smiled and put his quill down. "Ah good. You returned Duncan and Arietta safely to their quarters?"

"No, I'm afraid they fell down the endless flights of stairs in this place and both broke their necks. Terribly sorry."

His smile actually widened at that. "It's good to see some of your old sense of humour returning. That wouldn't have anything to do _with_ those two Wardens, now would it?"

She smirked. "Well, they were _very_ nice to look at, that's bound to put anyone in a good mood." He sighed in exasperation and sat back in his seat. She smiled softly. "I want to join them."

He didn't seem surprised if the slow nod he gave her was anything to go by. "I thought you might. I've been singing your praises to Duncan since his arrival in hopes he would consider you."

"Trying to get rid of me?" she asked, smirking despite the softness of her eyes.

He chuckled. "I wish you happiness, child. I do not know if the Wardens can give you that, but it is a way out of the Tower, a permanent one." There was such sadness in his eyes and for the second time that day Neri sighed in annoyance, and leant over his desk.

"It was not your fault."

"It is my job to look after you all and I failed to do that with you."

"You did not. The Chantry failed. Greagoir and the other Templars failed. But not you." She shook her head. "And speaking of failings… is it true you're going to make Jowan Tranquil?"

Irving slumped in his seat, sighing heavily.

"That's a yes, then," Neri said bitterly. "Why the fuck did you sign off on _that_?"

"Greagoir has eye-witness testimony to Jowan using blood magic," Irving said with a sigh. "If I were in charge, perhaps there would be another way, but you know what the Chantry is like."

"I do," she said coolly. "And you know I'd do anything for my friends."

"Neria…"

"Thank you for everything, Irving," she said earnestly.

"Whatever you are planning-"

"Goodbye."

She ducked out of his office before he could say anything more. She hoped she hadn't just blown Jowan's plans entirely; she really wasn't the best at holding her tongue. But with any luck, Jowan and Lily would be long gone before anyone realised. Neri would be left with the backlash, but hopefully the Wardens would conscript her if things got particularly bad. She had to believe that, had to believe that she'd be able to get out too.

One of the nicer Templars, Cullen, was walking toward her. She enjoyed teasing him just a little too much due to how damned nervous he got around her. It was obvious he liked her, and as much as she liked him, nothing had ever happened between them. She didn't fuck Templars, willingly, at least.

"Oh, hello," he said, his cheeks already flushing. "I am glad to see your survived your Harrowing. It was a bit touch and go there for a while…I was picked to strike the killing blow and I—I was worried I would need to at one point."

"Yeah?"

"You were shaking so violently." He sucked in a long breath. "I am v-very glad I did not need to."

"Me too. Did Greagoir tell you about the fear demon that hijacked my Harrowing?"

The Templar blinked at her in surprise. "No, he did not. What—what happened?"

"Not sure. I guess with… everything that happened, I was an irresistible target for it."

He nodded sadly but she could see the angry twitch of his jaw. Cullen had been the one to punch Albert square in the jaw once everyone found out what he had been doing to her, had been the one to drag him off in chains. There had been a fire burning in his golden eyes ever since.

"I'm glad you're alright," he said softly.

She nodded, tucking her messy curls back behind her ears and smiled. "I'll see you later, Cullen and… thanks."

She could tell he was trying to stammer out a reply but she was already halfway down the corridor. She stopped outside the door that she'd been tackled at earlier, and knocked. Duncan answered, amusement warming his features as he spotted her.

"Back so soon?"

"I guess you made a good first impression," Neri said, a smile lifting her cheeks. "Certainly better than the one I made, I would think," she said with a nervous smile.

"You certainly made a memorable first impression," Duncan admitted.

"That's putting it mildly," Arietta mumbled from near the fire.

"Yeah… So uhh, about what you said earlier? About me making a good Warden. I know you haven't seen me in action yet, so maybe you were just being nice but…"

"Neria, I meant what I said."

She nodded. "Okay, okay cool. You… _might_ need to conscript me, later today." His eyebrow twitched at that. "It's probably going to be fine but I would just really appreciate _knowing_ I can count on you to-"

"Very well."

She gaped at him. "Just like that, no tests or trials or-"

"The tests will come later," he explained. "Joining the Wardens requires great sacrifice, but you seem eager to leave this place and I could use a talented mage, such as yourself."

"Thank you," she said earnestly, unable to stop the smile from brightening her face.

"Go, do whatever it is you must."

Neri nodded and disappeared out the door.

Duncan closed it behind the elf, smiling slightly. Arietta watched from her spot by the fire, her hands stroking Blossom's head where she rested in her lap.

"You're really going to recruit her then?"

Duncan glanced at her, nodding. "I am." He tilted his head slightly in that roguish way he had of knowing exactly what the hidden meaning behind her words were, not that she was bothering with hiding them all that much. "You don't approve."

Not a question.

Arietta shrugged a shoulder. "She's brash, easily angered, and she only wants to leave here because of whatever happened in her past." She ran her tongue over her teeth as she sighed. "She'll be trouble, and that's _if_ she sticks around. I wouldn't be surprised if she runs the moment we break her out of here."

The side of Duncan's mouth lifted with a smile. "I see a talented mage, with a young, excitable and curious mind, one that may have much to learn, it's true, but one that has a great deal of potential, also." He took a seat opposite her, sitting with all the grace of a noble. "You should not let your recent tragedy bitter your thoughts."

"I think it's a little late for that, Duncan."

He nodded sadly and gazed into the flickering flames of the fire. "You will be good for each other."

Arietta let out a chuffed laugh. "We're complete opposites, couldn't be any different."

"Precisely."

"You'll eat those words when we start to irritate you on the journey south."

There was a smile at his lips before she too turned her gaze to the flames. She was struggling not to let her thoughts get too dark; she'd always been taught to be strong, to get on with the task at hand but those were her parent's words and they were gone now. Slaughtered. Perhaps it would do her some good to have this elf as a distraction on the road; she certainly seemed the chatty sort. Although, knowing Arietta's recent string of horrible luck, the elf would end up asking her about the circumstances leading Arietta to becoming a Warden and that was something she wasn't certain she could stomach discussing yet.

She pushed up from her chair, disturbing Blossom in the process who huffed at her in annoyance, and headed toward the door. "I'll see about getting us some food," she said, wanting something to distract herself with. Duncan nodded absentmindedly and she slipped out the door in search of someone who could assist.

* * *

 

Several dead guardians and a blown-to-pieces wall later and they had finally reached the phylactery chamber. As Neri had suspected, her phylactery wasn't there, no doubt already shipped off somewhere else while she recovered from her Harrowing. But Jowan's was. She couldn't help but feel jealous as he smashed it on the ground, smiling in relief.

"Come on," Neri urged. "We need to move it."

"Lead the way," Jowan said. "To Anders' exit."

Neri nodded and jogged back out the room. "Actually, you're going out the front door."

"What?" Jowan hissed as he followed her.

"We're going to knock the Templars out and you're going to run. I'll hold them off for as long as I can."

"Neri-"

"I'm going to be conscripted by the Wardens," she said with a quick glance over her shoulder at the dark haired mage at her side. "The Templars won't be able to hurt me anymore."

He nodded despite still looking nervous and uncertain. But he almost always looked like that. She led them out of the basement, up some steps. It was just a short walk to the main doors, now. And she'd already checked who was on patrol on the lower levels, nobody she would feel bad about knocking out.

"We did it, I can't believe it!" Jowan exclaimed, grinning wider than she'd ever seen him grin before. "Thank you! We never could have-"

"So, what you said was true," Greagoir said as he entered the chamber with half a dozen Templars, and Irving.

 _Balls_. Her and her big mouth.

"A Chantry initiate and a blood mage," Greagoir said, his scowl deep and locked onto Lily. "I'm disappointed. You seem shocked, but fully in control."

"This isn't Lily's fault," Neri said, stepping between the Templars and her friends. "It was my idea," she lied.

Greagoir's face reddened with anger. "What were you thinking? Newly Harrowed and already breaking the rules!"

Irving was shaking her head at her, disappointed. "You could have told me what you were planning, what they wanted to do."

"Could I? You'd already signed off on his Tranquility. I couldn't trust you with this anymore than I trust _them_ ," she said with a bitter glance at the Templars gathered in front of her.

"You don't care about the mages," Jowan shouted in agreement. "You just bow to the Chantry's every whim!"

"Enough!" Greagoir roared. "As Knight-Commander of the Templars, I sentence this blood mage to death. And this initiate to Aeonar."

Neri's hands clenched at her sides, ready to grab her staff from her back.

"Th-the mages prison," Lily blabbered as she backed up against the wall. Neri kept between them all again, ready to fight if she had to. "Greagoir, Jowan is not a blood mage! You can't execute him. And lily had very little to do with any of this, you can't just lock her up!"

The Templars shoved her to the side.

"Please, please, no," Lily sobbed, her trembling hands covering her mouth.

Neri was about to blast the Templars with magic when Jowan suddenly screamed at them. "No! I won't let you touch her!"

He pulled out a knife that Neri hadn't realised he had and before she could even process that he had _that_ , he was slitting his palm. Blood sprayed outwards, high into the air like a geyser and wrapped around him. She backed away, near-gagging at the overwhelming metallic stench that filled the air, her eyes wide. And then Jowan unleashed all of that blood at the Templars. They were thrown backwards, all of them hitting the ground hard before they skittered across it, their metal armour scraping against the stone.

Neri's ears were ringing from the blast and she swiped at the blood that had splattered across her face in disgust. She couldn't believe Jowan… what he'd just _done_. She'd put her neck on the line for him, had trusted his words.

Lily was crying, shoving Jowan away from her and screaming at him. He looked to be pleading with her but Neri could see the disgust in Lily's eyes. There was no love there now. Neri's eyes probably looked much the same.

She straightened, realising sadly that she couldn't let him go, not now, not knowing what he was. He wasn't safe. She needed to stop him.

"I trusted you," Lily sobbed, turning her head away from him.

"Jowan," Neri said. He turned to her, shaking, his palm still dripping with blood. " _Why_?"

"I was only dabbling! I-I'm sorry!" he said desperately.

She clenched her jaw. "No. I am."

She hit him with a blast of magic, throwing him clear across the room, over the unconscious Templars where he slammed into the far wall before dropping to the ground. Remarkably, he got up, and she realised why. His blood magic was still wrapped around him, protecting him somehow. She grit her teeth and hit him with another blast, pinning him back against the wall and squeezing the breath from his lungs. She just needed to knock him out…

He slit his wrist again, cutting it open even wider and fresh blood surged outward. She got her barrier up in time for the blast that rushed her, but it wasn't enough against that kind of magic. It shattered and Neri was sent flying.

When she came to, Jowan was gone and the Templars were just starting to wake back up as well. Greagoir was the first on his feet and back to pacing angrily. "I knew it, I knew it! Blood magic," he snarled. "I never thought him capable of such power."

"None of us did, Greagoir," Irving said, hanging his head.

Greagoir turned on Neri next. "A blood mage is free because of your actions! You will be punished for this."

"I tried to stop him once he started slitting his palms," she growled out. "But of course, punish _me_ because that's how it always is around here. Mages get made tranquil or cut down while being Harrowed or fucking _annulled_ but Templars can rape a mage for _months_ , beat her to near-death to the point where she miscarries and get away with a little bit of prison time, right?"

"How dare you! You impeded the work of my Templars!" Greagoir snarled. "It is not their fault that maleficarum is free. That is on _you_ Mage Surana."

"Knight-Commander, if I may," Duncan suddenly said from the doorway. He strode toward them all, face grim. Neri smiled just a little. "I'm not just looking for mages to join the King's army. I'm looking for mages to join the Grey Wardens too." He gave her a reassuring glance before looking back to Greagoir. "Irving spoke highly of this mage, and I would like her to join our ranks."

"Duncan," Irving said as he too stepped closer. "Neria has assisted a Maleificar and has broken the Circle rules." He too gave her a glance before continuing. "However, we cannot stop you from conscripting her."

"Absolutely not!" Greagoir cried out. "She put the entire Circle in danger!"

"It is a rare person who risks all for a friend in need. I stand by my decision," Duncan said.

Neri grinned.


	4. Journey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Edited Feb 2016*
> 
> I added SO much. 
> 
> Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any mistakes are my own--not getting this re-beta'd before updating it with the new stuff.   
> And if any headspace or dialogue conflicts with later, unedited, stuff, I apologise. Assume I'll be fixing that when I get to it.

Arietta stuffed her belongings under the wooden seat of the boat and nodded for her mabari, Blossom, to jump in too. The entire boat rocked as she did so before she settled and curled up at Arietta's feet. Her hound was one of the few things she still had from Highever. She had her family sword, daggers and armour, and a few other bits and pieces. But otherwise, everything else was gone, lost to her entirely. The only thing stopping that empty black pit inside her heart from consuming her completely was the hope that Fergus was still alive and the anger she felt burning in her veins. If it weren't for those things, she wasn't sure she could carry on at all.

She certainly didn't _want_ to be here, joining the Wardens of all organisations. It was a lifelong commitment she had been forced into, one she didn't want, but was stuck with now all the same. The Wardens might be some great order, one worthy of respect, but all Arietta wanted was to get justice for the murder of her family and everyone else at Highever. She was struggling to care for the fate of her country when her home was already in ruins. But she knew that was wrong, that she felt bitter because of the anger churning inside of her. Usually she cared, _a lot_. Too much, perhaps. She had wanted to help people, to make a difference in Highever at the very least… Now all of her carefully laid out plans had been obliterated. She was to simply kill darkspawn for the rest of her days, that was it.

The elf got into the boat next. For someone who had just watched their friend turn to blood magic right in front of her, she was incredibly chipper. There was a big excited grin on her face as she nimbly stepped into the boat, barely making it rock at all. Arietta couldn't get over how skinny she was, even for an elf. She was nothing but pale freckled skin and bone. Oh and hair. She was almost _all_ hair, actually. Thick, slightly frizzy, blonde curls that fell half way down her back, barely staying tucked behind the points of her ears. Like all elves she had those big almond shaped eyes too, hers were a brown/orange colour, ochre, or something close and they were framed by thick dark lashes.

Arietta still didn't like that they had conscripted her at all. She seemed the reckless type, definitely brash and impatient. Her temper and potty mouth didn't help endear Arietta to her, either. But she supposed she would just have to bite her tongue and get on with the task at hand and hope the little elf wasn't a complete pain in the rear end. Once away from this Tower, it would be a week's worth of walking, at the least, south. A whole week of just the three of them and the road. With her lost to her thoughts with little else to distract herself with. She had a feeling this would be the hardest week of her life.

Duncan stepped in last, taking a seat next to the newcomer, and the ferryman began to row. The little elf's fingers tapped the side of the boat with excitable energy, her eyes fixed on the front of the boat. The portcullis went up and they rowed out into the great lake. Neri stared up at the sky, a small gasp leaving her lips and Arietta couldn't help but follow the elf's gaze, to the night's sky above.

"You've never seen stars before?" Arietta asked, brow arched slightly.

"Not since I was a child. The last time I was outside and able to see the stars at night, I was six and on my way _to_ the Tower." Something bitter flashed across her face, darkening her previously awestruck expression. "Been locked up ever since."

Arietta knew a lot of mages saw the Tower as a prison rather than a necessary establishment of education but to actually meet one such mage was new for Arietta. The mages she had encountered at Highever over the years all spoke so highly of the Circles—and they were all allowed to leave it, once their education was complete. Although Arietta suspected Neri's bitterness came from whatever had happened to her there. She did have to admit though, she couldn't imagine growing up and not being able to stargaze. Her and Fergus had done it all the time, making up ridiculous creatures and shapes out of the stars twinkling above. The night's sky now looked dimmer somehow, less bright. She doubted that was actually possible— no, it was far more likely that it was her dark frame of mind making everything around her seem duller than it really was.

Neri dunked her hand into the rippling water and pulled it back with a gasp. "See demons? Cold _and_ wet," she muttered under her breath.

"Why are you talking to demons?" Arietta asked, suddenly one edge.

Neri rolled her eyes. "In my Harrowing, they had me in this boat but the water wasn't wet or cold. It was stupid. Oh and they didn't even have a ferryman moving the oars, they just paddled themselves. They really should have tried harder to trick me."

"You _want_ the demons to get better at tricking you? Why in Thedas would you want that?"

The elf shrugged a shoulder. "It's more fun when you see through their tricks 'cause they get so pissed off."

"So you've made a game of toying with the demons toying with you?" Arietta asked incredulously.

"Well, yeah. They pester me so much, might as well try to have some fun with it."

"How reassuring that you take demons pestering you so seriously," Arietta retorted dryly. She rubbed her hands together for warmth.

The elf snorted. "I took them seriously, once. But it's boring to stay that serious forever, but I'm guessing you don't know too much about lightening up, huh Princess?"

"Charming nickname."

Neri grinned even as her eyes narrowed with mischief. "Glad you like it."

Arietta rolled her eyes and went back to watching the dark waters rippling out from the boat. She would have preferred it if they had stayed in the Tower for the night—but the elf had ruined any hope of that the moment Duncan had been forced to conscript her. The Knight-Commander had been furious, even more so at how _smug_ Neri had been as she walked out the door. Arietta doubted they'd ever be able to go back _there_ again without Neri seriously angering the Tower's inhabitants.

It wasn't much later that they reached the wooden dock and all filed out of the boat. Neri stopped immediately once off of the dock and started removing her boots.

"What are you-"

"I haven't felt grass between my toes for twelve years," the elf said as she wiggled her toes in the short green grass. There was such a blissful smile on Neri's face and Arietta felt a pang of jealously that the elf was able to take such simple pleasures in the world around them—things Arietta had clearly been taking for granted all these years.

"Do you plan to stop to smell every flower we pass too?" Arietta asked, smiling just a little.

Neri grinned at her. "Maybe just the first one or two."

"Come, we must make haste," Duncan said from the top of the hill. "There is a place to camp not far from here."

"I'd put your boots back on if I were you—unless you were planning to go full Dalish on us now that you're a free elf?"

Neri scoffed. "Do they really not wear shoes? I figured that was just to make them seem more wild and savage in the human-written books I read."

"I don't know, I've never met any." She turned around and walked up the hill. "Let's go."

* * *

 

They had set up camp by an old oak tree, its big branches proving at least some cover against the elements. The ground itself was littered with dead leaves, with autumn truly setting in now. They provided extra cushioning, but like everything else in Ferelden, they were wet and soggy. The elf had still managed to complain that the ground was uncomfortable even after borrowing Arietta's bedroll, but she seemed to have finally gotten off to sleep now. Duncan had the other sleeping mat and was snoring away, leaving Arietta and her hound on watch.

Just as she had feared, with nothing but staying on watch to distract her, she had started thinking about that horrible night again. The screams that had woken her, Blossom's growls, the bodies _everywhere_. Her family were so well respected, so well loved. She didn't _understand_ why Howe had done it. Why anyone would. And right before a potential Blight, too. It didn't make _sense_. And she had just fled, like a fucking coward. She should have dragged her parents out of there…should have figured out the attack was coming or….or…. _something_.

She swiped angrily at the tears that slipped down her cheeks. Her parents wouldn't want her to breakdown, to fall apart. They would want her to be strong, would want her to _fight_. And she would. She already had plans in place—it's not like she had much else to think about while they walked or camped. The king was at Ostagar. Once he heard what had happened, she was sure he would help. She _would_ have justice soon. She had to believe that, had to hold onto that hope, even if some dark part of her wanted to go find Howe and tear him apart. But she knew her parents had taught her better than to enact revenge upon that monster. They always did things properly, lawfully. She would too. She hadn't been able to save them, but she could honour them; make them proud.

She would make sure she did.

Neri woke with a gasp at that moment. She sat up, breath still a bit panted and ran a hand through all that thick hair of hers.

"Nightmares?"

"Standard night, really," the elf replied with a glance over at Arietta.

"More demons?"

"I guess."

"You don't know?"

"Personal demons are different to the fugly Fade kind," Neri retorted.

Arietta gave a nod in reply even as she found herself curious as to what those personal demons were. They'd obviously made Neri angry and bitter, much like how Arietta was currently feeling. Maybe Duncan was right, maybe they _could_ help each other. That would mean discussing it first, however, and Arietta wasn't about to open up to a total stranger about anything that had happened.

Neri stretched her arms above her head and Arietta head the joints of her back pop with it. "You can sleep now, if you want," she said.

"I'd rather not." What little sleep she'd been getting lately had not been pleasant; she was in no rush to relive those nightmares again.

"You know, my friend was wondering what made you join the Wardens," Neri said, "can't say I'm not curious too. Nobles don't join unless they have to nowadays."

"And you're an expert on what nobles do or do not do, are you?" Arietta replied, her tone as crisp as the cool night air.

The mage snorted, head shaking. "Definitely not. Still…you've got tragedy written all over you."

"It's none of your business." Arietta pushed to her feet, wrapping her coat tight about her as she did so. "I'm going for a walk."

"Try not to get eaten by bears!"

Arietta couldn't help but roll her eyes. "There aren't any bears around here, not this close to human settlements."

"That doesn't always stop them. I ended up in the Circle because of a bear attack—it came right into our village."

"So what, six year old you attacked it with magic?" Arietta's brow arched sceptically.

"Fuck no. I didn't even know I _had_ magic. But my friend was in trouble, so I ran in front of him before the bear crushed him and… this barrier appeared." She shrugged her shoulder casually as if a six year old her doing that wasn't a big deal at all.

"That's…"

"Yeah. Most people weren't even happy with me for doing that, you know? Started backing away from me, whispering _mage_ like I was some sort of criminal." She shrugged again. "Maybe I'll get to go back there and spook them with my _scary_ magic." She laughed a bit as she leant back on her hands.

"Maybe don't do that. If you're really going to be a Warden-"

"What makes you think I _wouldn't_ become a Warden?" Neri asked, brows lowering into a scowl.

Arietta sighed. "It doesn't matter. I'm off for my walk now."

"No, you can't just say shit like that then not follow through with it."

"Fine," Arietta said, folding her arms tightly. "I fully expect you to flee into the hills before we even reach Ostagar. We just handed you your freedom on a silver platter. You have no reason to stick with us and actually _become_ a Warden."

"Other than the fact that I _want_ to be one, you mean?"

Arietta scoffed. "Who _wants_ to fight darkspawn for the rest of their days?"

"Uhh, _me_? I get to use my magic, actually _use_ it for once. Not the bullshit practice we had in the Tower but fully properly using it. To _kill_ shit. Not just shit, the _worst_ kind of shit: darkspawn. I can't wait."

"It isn't a game…" She sighed as she rubbed the bridge of her nose. "If you were smart, you wouldn't stick around."

"So why are _you_? It's obvious you don't wanna be here, so why are you?"

"Because I don't have a choice."

"Bullshit."

Arietta glared at the elf. "There are two things I require at Ostagar," she explained despite how weary she was growing of the elf's endless chatter. "In return for securing those, I will join the Wardens."

The elf let out a chuff of air. "Sounds like, out of the two of us, you're the one most likely to defect."

"I gave Duncan my word," Arietta whispered harshly. "Maybe that doesn't mean much to you, but my word is everything to me."

Neri lifted her hands, palms up. "Alright, whatever. I guess we'll just see, won't we, Princess?"

Arietta grit her teeth and stormed off through the field with Blossom, hoping the fresh night air would help calm her frayed nerves. She was such a mess. Usually she could stay calm and impassive about almost anything, but Neri was so easily getting under her skin. She couldn't let her. She would not fall apart. She would not. But the memories were always there, right at the surface of her mind. Every time she paused, every time she closed her eyes, _they_ were all she saw. She took a few deep, steadying breaths, hoping to calm herself down.

The tears fell anyway.

* * *

 

Neri plopped herself down where the human had been sitting and stretched her legs out. Head back against the tree, she smiled. She had missed the sound of the wind rustling leaves, the sounds of leaves crunching under feet, the bright colours of the stars overhead. All of it. Anders always came back so happy whenever he escaped, always told her about all the things he got to do, swimming naked in some lake, drinking an ice cold beer, sitting by a crackling camp fire… It was weird to think she would be able to do all of those things and more, now. She was as close to free as she was ever likely to get. And it felt fucking great.

Sure, she'd miss _some_ stuff about the Tower. Anders and Sol and the others mostly…but it was about bloody time she got out of there. She was pretty sure she'd earned this, the hard way. And she was gonna try to enjoy it, nightmares and demons be damned.

That's how she usually handled things, just bottled them away and tried to forget about them. _Probably_ wasn't the healthiest move on her part… but it wasn't like she knew many other ways to deal with that kind of shit. People are the Tower had tried to get her to _talk_ about it and that had just pissed her off. Especially as there hadn't been anything _to_ talk about. She'd done what she had to do—she'd dealt with that all on her _own_ ; having a bunch of people come comfort her after the fact wasn't very helpful.

She was actually looking forward to being part of a new group of people simply because none of them knew about her past and wouldn't look at her all sympathetic like. She _hated_ how quiet and sad everyone was around her. How guilty. Even people she didn't bloody know would come up to her in the Tower and try to apologise or offer her a shoulder to cry on. She'd told them right quick where they could stuff their apologies and sympathy. It was definitely gonna be nice not having to do that for a while at the very least.

Her smile stretched into a grin as she watched the stars only for it to falter slightly as she wondered if Jowan was looking up at the same stars as her right now. Douchechair. She still couldn't believe that the quiet and shy Jowan she had grown up with was a blood mage, one capable of knocking out a bunch of Templars and fleeing into the night. Those two people just didn't match up; then again, didn't the old saying go something like 'it's always the quiet ones'? She was pretty sure she had heard the Templars mutter that from time to time, usually right after someone had become an abomination or used blood magic. That didn't happen very often, thankfully. Shit got real sombre when it did though. The Templars would always try to cover it up but the mages always knew. The empty bed was always a dead giveaway.

Speaking of empty beds, Arietta still wasn't back yet. Neri wasn't sure how long she'd been gone, but it definitely felt like it had been a while. But Neri hadn't heard any screams either, so Arietta was probably fine. Plus she had that horse sized hound with her for protection and those wickedly sharp daggers that the human didn't seem to go anywhere without. Neri was pretty sure the noble wanted to use them on her already… Neri did have a habit of pissing people off. She probably ought to come with some kind of warning: _mild irritation inevitable._ Then again, it wasn't like the human had been much better, judging Neri before they'd even gotten to know one another.

She folded her arms, sighing and that's when she spotted the faint halo of light over the tops of the trees. The sky very slowly beginning to shift from night to day. She grinned. Anders had talked about how beautiful sunrises were, now she was about to see one for the first time in way too fucking long. She got to her feet, looking out over the field to the gap in the trees where the light was the brightest, waiting.

That's when Arietta suddenly appeared at her side and nearly made Neri jump out of her skin.

"Fucking ballsticks!" Neri hissed, a hand on her heart. "Don't _do_ that."

There was a brief smirk at the human's lips as she too turned her gaze to the soon-to-be-rising sun. The sky was brighter now. The highest parts a pretty faded blue, and lower, near the trees, wan oranges and yellows were starting to seep into the hazy darkness.

"I've missed sunrises," Neri said, smiling softly.

"I'll wake Duncan, no doubt he will want us heading out soon," Arietta said. Neri rolled her eyes. That one was definitely a workaholic. Then again, seemed like she was just trying to distract herself from whatever tragic tale her life had become recently. That made them not so different in how they dealt with bad shit, she supposed.

"Dawn already?" a sleep-roughened voice mumbled from somewhere behind her.

"Afraid so," Arietta said.

"No more beauty sleep for you, Beardy," Neri said over her shoulder.

He chuffed out a laugh. "Whatever will I do without that?"

"Probably get some more grey hairs in that sexy beard of yours."

"Maker," Arietta breathed out in a rush. Duncan cleared his throat as he got to his feet, apparently deciding to ignore her comments. That was probably wise. Neri turned back around, grinning at the sun finally appearing through the trees. The first dawn of her new life. Her new _free_ life. Her grin widened.

* * *

 

"What sort of mage doesn't know any fire spells?" Arietta asked as she continued to rub the two sticks together, desperately trying to get them some warmth for the evening.

"There are different schools of magic, okay? I don't _do_ elemental stuff." Neri's teeth actually chattered as she hugged herself. She was a fool for only having those robes to keep her warm. "The last time I tried a simple fire spell, I set my friend's hair on fire. So yeah, I don't try that anymore."

Arietta glanced up at her, trying to gage if she was serious or not. She looked serious. "Sounds like that might be for the best then."

"No shit, Tangles."

"My hair is not that tangled." Not that keeping her hair nice was much of a priority right now.

"Mine sure is," Neri muttered. "I keep finding leaves and twigs in it too. And neither of us thought to grab a hairbrush before joining the Wardens. Aren't we clever?"

"You at least had some inclination that you would be leaving the Tower, you could have grabbed your things, first." Arietta had barely got her armour on before her door was being smashed in and then, even fighting through the castle, seeing it on fire, it had never crossed her mind that she might be _leaving_ it that night. Not up until that final moment with her father bleeding out on the floor, mother crouched at his side, holding him, with Duncan urging her to leave had it finally dawned on her that it was really happening. That she would really have to go. It still seemed more like a bad dream than real life. She wished it was.

The elf shrugged. "Wasn't much to grab."

"Even more reason to grab those items then as they'd have been easy to carry out of there," Arietta argued.

The elf rolled her eyes. "I was a bit distracted by my friend slitting his palm open to think about my hairbrush or extra panties."

Arietta groaned. "You don't even have…" She shook her head. Smoke started to billow out from her sticks and she smiled. "Finally!"

"That took forever," Neri said as she watched the fire slowly burst into life. "You obviously need more practice at _rubbing sticks_ together." Arietta knew that, if she looked up, the elf would be waggling her eyebrows. She deliberately ignored her, just as she had ignored her every other time Neri had asked her about her sex life. Three days of that had been enough to drive her mad already.

"At least we have a fire now. That means we won't freeze tonight _and_ if Duncan catches anything, we can have a hot meal."

"I fancy a fry up," Neri said as she held her hands over the fire happily crackling away now.

Arietta scoffed. "Well you won't be seeing one of those magically appearing out of thin air any time soon."

The elf sighed.

Arietta settled down next to the flames, enjoying the warmth slowly spreading through her. "So… if not elemental magic, what sort of magic _do_ you command?" she asked. It would be useful to know what her fellow soon-to-be-Warden was actually capable of before reaching Ostagar. The First Enchanter had certainly regarded her skills highly.

"I'm a force mage," Neri said, as if that fully explained everything.

"I've never heard of such magic."

"Oh. I throw shit around."

" _Actual_ faecal matter?"

Neri's face scrunched up in disgust. "No! Although, that probably _would_ stop an enemy attacking you, right?"

Arietta's nose crinkled. "Probably."

"But no. I throw _people_ about. Pick them up and toss them to the ground, that kind of thing."

Arietta stared at Neri again, once more trying to figure out if she was pulling her leg. She looked entirely too nonchalant for her to be joking. "You just… pick them up?"

"Yup." There was a wicked glint in her eyes, and before Arietta could protest, she found herself leaving the ground and hovering in the air, a foot or so above the ground.

"Maker's breath!" she cried as she tried to find her balance in thin air. Neri started to laugh and ended up plonking her back down to the ground a little roughly.

"Sorry!" she said, still giggling. "Your _face_. I haven't done that to someone for so long. I'd already done it to everyone at the Tower."

"That was…" Arietta had no words for how bizarre that had felt. "And you can… kill people with that?"

Neri shrugged. "Maybe?"

"You don't know because you've never been in a real battle before," Arietta said, tapping her chin thoughtfully.

"Exactly."

"You're going to need some combat training."

The elf frowned at her. " _Combat_ training?"

Arietta nodded. "You need lessons in how to handle yourself in a real fight—how to fend off something if it gets too close to you when you're out of mana. You'll end up skewered otherwise."

"That's a lovely mental image," the mage said sarcastically.

"I'm serious, Neri."

The elf groaned heavily, rolling her neck. "I hear you. I just don't get why you'd want to actually help me."

Arietta tilted her head, studying the elf's face with a frown. "We're to be Wardens together… Sisters in arms. I figure we should probably have each other's backs, regardless of personal feelings toward one another. Or do you disagree?"

"No," she replied quickly. "Sisters in arms… alright, I like the sound of that."

Arietta smiled a little. "Good. We'll begin your training after we've eaten."

* * *

 

The elf looked a little ridiculous in her oversized robes, with all those frizzy curls loose and blowing in the wind and the staff that was nearly as tall as she was spinning in her hands. It only took Arietta three quick steps to get in close, side step the staff Neri tried to swing, and slap the elf's thigh with the flat of her dagger.

" _Oowww_!" Neri groaned as she rubbed the sore spot on her leg.

"Dead."

Neri glared at her. "I'm pretty sure I'm not _dead_ from you slapping me with your blade."

Arietta smiled a little maliciously. "I can stab you with it, if you prefer."

"Yeah… think I'm gonna pass on that one."

"Again," Arietta said as she rolled her shoulders and walked back to her starting spot.

The elf held her staff out in front of her this time, most likely with intent to smack Arietta on the head as she got close. A smile twitched to life at her lips. She missed this, training with others. She used to do it every day at Highever… most of the soldiers there knew better than to enter the ring with either Fergus or her and it usually just ended up being her and her brother fighting each other. Now and again though, someone new would come to the castle and everyone would gather around to watch them eat dirt as they tried and failed to take on her or her brother. Neri was fresh meat. But this wasn't like those matches, this was a matter of training her, of giving her the skills she needed to stay alive in a fight. That sobered her thoughts a little and she returned to focusing on the task at hand.

Arietta rushed in again, feigned left and watched as Neri's staff swung downwards, hitting the ground at her side, before she jabbed the elf in the ribs with her dagger's pommel.

"Agh!" the elf cried out.

"Dead."

"Stop _killing_ me," Neri complained as she rubbed at her bruised ribs.

"No."

"Some sister you are," Neri muttered under her breath.

"You need to be less predictable with that staff of yours," Arietta said. "Always keep it moving so I don't know what you plan to do with it. Holding it in place like you just did is a dead giveaway."

"What if I drop it?"

"Don't do that."

Neri let out a heavy sigh.

"Practice twirling it between your hands and fingers. May I?"

Neri nodded and handed her staff to Arietta. She took it, noticing the blue orb's light fade as soon as it left Neri's grasp, and began throwing it back and forth between her hands. It wasn't a heavy staff; Arietta briefly wondered if that was to make it less of a potential weapon against Templars. She doubted it could do much damage at all if used in hand to hand combat. The wood felt weak, too and liable to snap. But light could work well for an elf as small as Neri, if they could somehow add a blade to the end of it…

"Alright. I want you to use long swipes, like this," she said, demonstrating as the staff whipped through the air. "Treat this like a two handed weapon—keep enemies away from you with its reach." Neri's big brown eyes were watching her a little sceptically as Arietta continued to twirl and spin the staff around. "You'll need to be aware of everything around you. Your elven eyesight and hearing should help with that." She tossed the elf her staff back and Neri fumbled with it before catching it properly. "You try. And keep trying while we walk to Ostagar."

Neri groaned but started to twirl the staff regardless. She was clumsy and slow, nearly dropping it twice before doing a full rotation. "You made it look so easy," the elf complained.

"I've trained for years with various weapons," Arietta said. "You'll get better. You have to."

"Otherwise I get skewered," Neri said with a roll of her eyes.

"Yes."

"Maybe I'll just try not to run out of mana."

Arietta smiled slightly. "We're going to keep training anyway."

* * *

 

"Ugh. I hate this. My hands _hurt_ ," Neri groused as she dropped her staff or the millionth time that day. Arietta sighed as she turned to glance at the elf.

"Callouses will form eventually. For now, wear my gloves. It should help." She tossed them at Neri and watched as the elf missed catching both of them. They fell into a muddy puddle and Arietta just shook her head and carried on walking as she listened to Neri complain some more.

That's when she smelled the smoke. Duncan noticed it too and they both stopped, trying to spot where it was coming from. Blossom started growling at the road ahead and they both turned quickly to shut Neri up.

"What is it?" the she-elf whispered.

"We need to take a closer look," Duncan said as he headed silently into the trees.

"Do not tread on any twigs, Neri," Arietta warned as she followed after the Warden.

It didn't take long for them to spot the cause of the smoke. A wagon and a body being burned by a group of bandits. She could just about hear them saying there wouldn't be anything left but ash by morning and her nails dug into her palms as she clenched her hands. Those bastards had just murdered what was likely an innocent merchant. She didn't know why but it didn't matter, she wanted them to pay for that with their blood.

Duncan apparently sensed her anger and glanced at Neri and her both. "This can be your first test. Kill these men. Work together to do it."

Arietta's cerulean blue gaze flickered over the men she could see. One bulkily armoured warrior who'd be easy to knock off balance with a careful kick, three rogues, duel bladed who she could take on at once, one archer who she'd slit the throat of first and a two handed warrior who would be slow to draw his weapon; she'd kill him second.

"This'll be fun!" Neri said as she got up and walked forward.

"What are you doing?" Arietta hissed.

"Getting their attention, obviously. Go do your rogue thing."

With a sigh, Arietta circled around, so she'd be behind the bandits. Blossom stayed close to her heels, just as ready as she was for a good fight. Neri appeared out of the treeline on the other side of the bandits. She had her staff in hand, twirling it as she'd been practicing.

"Hey dickheads!" she shouted, getting all of their attention. "Eat dirt!"

And they did, or five of them, at least. Arietta didn't waste a second. She rushed in, burying both her daggers in the archer's chest before he could get up and reach his bow. Blossom got the two-hander, savaging his neck and sending huge spurts of blood into the air. The rogues were quickly back to their feet and Arietta engaged them immediately.

Neri had time to grin for all of two seconds at almost all of the bandits being knocked to the ground. It was the _almost_ part that made her grin fall. The big warrior in heavy silver armour was still on his feet and _running_ at her. She backed up quickly, throwing her magic his way. She aimed at his foot just as it came down on the ground, like Duncan had taught her, and managed to get him a bit off balance but it just made him angrier. She could see Arietta fighting three rogues all at once. She was tearing into them so viciously, shouting and grunting with each of her fierce jabs and swipes.

She focused back on the warrior trying to chop her head off with his sword, sending another blast of magic, this time at his head, dazing him. He let out a frustrated roar and turned cold grey eyes on her.

"You little shit," he spat. "You'll pay for that."

Neri's breath hitched in her throat as he came at her again. All that bulky silver armour, so similar to the stuff Templars wore. Those grey eyes. They were just like _his_. She stumbled, her feet catching on a tree root. She landed on her arse with a hard thud, her staff clattering out of her hands.

"I-I'm sorry," she stuttered. "I'll be good. Please, I'll be good."

He laughed at her as his sword came crashing down.

It never connected, though. Duncan was suddenly there, his longsword buried in the warrior's side. He twisted it then dragged the blood soaked blade back out. The warrior coughed up blood before he dropped to his knees and died.

Neri stared on, breathless and eyes wide. She was shaking, she realised.

"Are you alright?" Duncan asked, his expression soft with concern and the lines on his head creased with worry.

She nodded feebly and he took her shaking hand and pulled her to her feet.

"You panicked," he said simply.

"I'm fine," she said as she grabbed her staff. He didn't look convinced but she wasn't about to chat to him about how _charming_ Albert had been. Six months and she still wasn't able to completely forget about what he had done to her. He still haunted her dreams and now she was seeing him in battles too? Everyone was going to think she was weak if that continued.

She grit her teeth and turned her attention to Arietta, her stomach going queasy at the sight of the noble burying her dagger over and over in one of the downed rogues. She had this feral look in her eyes, all her brown hair messy around her face making her look even wilder. Duncan's shoulders tensed at the sight and he marched toward her. He buried his blades in the hearts of the two men writhing on the ground in agony, bleeding from multiple wounds before he grabbed Arietta's shoulder and pulled her back.

"That is enough," he said, his voice hard. Arietta shrugged off his grip and staggered to her feet. She was covered in blood and panting hard.

"Don't touch me," Arietta spat as she backed up a few steps.

Something flashed across Duncan's face too quick for Neri to figure out. "You let your blood lust get the better of you," he said, his voice so calm despite how tense he looked. He glanced at Neri. "And you let your fear control you." She wanted to open her mouth to argue but she silenced her with a stern look. "Neither of you looked out for one another."

"If she can't take out one warrior on her own then what good is she going to be against darkspawn?" Arietta said, breathing still ragged. Neri glared at her.

"That is not the point," Duncan replied. "Because of her distraction and her magic, two of your kills were easy. You did not return the favour and help her out, instead you tore into these men, injuring them over and over when a single cut or stab could have ended them, giving you time to aid her." He turned to Neri again. "And you should not have been so cocky, trying to knock over so many. Not when you remain clumsy on your feet and slow to get away. You both took foolish risks." He shook his head, eyes still locked with Neri's. "Work on your staff skills and footwork." He looked back at Arietta. "And you and I shall spar."

"What?" the human asked.

"You clearly have anger you need to let out, anger at me for taking you from your family. So we are going to spar."

The noble's shoulders stiffened at that. "I'm not going to fight you, Duncan."

"I'm not giving you a choice," he said as he drew his short swords.

Neri gawked a bit as Duncan rushed forward, faster than she would have thought possible for an older bloke such as him. Arietta was forced to lift her blades and block as his swipes slammed into her daggers. He pressed her back, down the dirt road and she only just kept up with his attacks. Neri followed them with Blossom plodding along at her side. She idly spun her staff between her hands, as instructed but was entirely distracted by the sight of Duncan and Arietta fighting. Even Neri could tell Arietta was holding back, only defending herself and she could tell Duncan was getting frustrated by that.

"Fight back," he instructed.

"No."

He got a jab in, his blade smacking her thigh, just as Arietta had been doing to Neri whenever they sparred. That made the noble hiss in a breath and Neri could see those pretty blue eyes of hers narrow in annoyance.

"Attack," he ordered.

" _No_."

Duncan managed to slap her with his blade again, right on Arietta's wrist, and her dagger fell from her hands.

"Pick it up and fight me."

Arietta just stood there, panting in big breaths through clenched teeth. She looked furious, Neri realised.

"It is because of me you still live while your family are dead. Now pick up your dagger and-"

Whatever Arietta had been holding back was let loose right then and there. The noble screamed, swiped out with her dagger, forcing Duncan back a step. In one quick movement, Arietta picked up her fallen dagger and then whirled on Duncan with all her fury. The noble's attacks forced Duncan backwards, right toward Neri and she had to back up quickly to avoid him walking into her.

Duncan was being more passive now, mostly blocking Arietta's swipes and letting her take out her anger on him. And Neri couldn't help but stare rather dumbly at just how _fast_ Arietta could move. All the training, all the staff twirling in the world, wouldn't make her block a rogue like that coming at her. Good thing she had her barriers, so long as she could focus enough to cast them.

Arietta was screaming with each attack now and Neri could see the tears in her eyes. "We could have saved them!" she shouted. Her furious jabs knocked Duncan's blades clear out of his hands to skitter across the ground. And then Arietta's dagger was at his throat, her hands shaking as she held it there. "You made me _leave_."

"I did," Duncan said calmly. "We'd both be dead if I hadn't dragged you out of there."

"I left them to _die_. My own parents. I-I-"

"Without you, there would be no justice for them," Duncan said softly. "Without your testimony, Howe would be able to tell any story he wished and get away with it."

Arietta's blade dropped away from his throat as a sob wracked through her. She dropped to her knees, tears falling down her rosy cheeks and Duncan crouched in front of her, his expression turning hard again.

"You _will_ get justice," he assured her.

Arietta nodded, sniffing wetly.

Neri rubbed the back of her neck. She hadn't heard much of how Arietta came to join the Wardens, until now. She couldn't really begin to imagine what it would be like to have your family wiped out by someone else. The closest thing she could picture to that would be her friends at the Circle all getting killed by someone like Albert. Given that… Neri couldn't help but think Arietta had done well to hold it together this long. Neri would have flipped her shit and killed anything and everything between her and the killer by now.

She wandered over to the dead bandits and picked up one of their fallen blades. Arietta had spoken about adding a blade to Neri's staff, just to give her that extra bit of protection but she wasn't sure how easy it would be to add a dagger to her staff. She headed over to the still-smoking cart and a huge grin stretched across her face.

"Hey, Tangles, Ponytail! Look what I found!"

Arietta and Duncan both got to their feet and headed toward her. Neri pulled one of the staff's off of the wagon and held it up for them to see. "There's a whole load of them in here! And they're all bladed!"

"What are the chances of that?" Arietta said as she wiped at her eyes and tried for a smile.

Duncan glanced at the merchandise with a frown. "I believe this may have been heading to Ostagar."

"They wanted all of this destroyed," Arietta said, a frown forming between her brows. "It hadn't crossed my mind how odd that was until now. Surely they'd prefer to sell goods such as these, not destroy them."

Duncan hummed his agreement, looking worried.

"Well, whatever their reasons, they failed to burn these," Neri said as she ran her fingers over the four staffs.

The one she had picked up was definitely an elemental staff; she could feel her mana fighting it, not wanting to flow easily through the staff so she put that one back. The second was made out of dark wood and felt a lot heavier than what she was used to but again, it was elemental—lightning focused if she wasn't mistaken. Solona would have loved a staff like that. The third was way too long and Neri didn't even bother trying to pick it up because she wouldn't have been able to carry it on her back at all. But the fourth… She grinned as she picked it up and felt her mana latch onto it, flowing freely through it to light the orb up top. It turned a bright purple colour with whorls of black and red swirling through it. The whole thing thrummed with energy, turning small amounts of mana channelled into it into something much stronger. Her Circle issued staffs never did much of that. They were for accuracy, mostly. But this felt like it was multiplying her magic. It was fucking awesome.

"This one."

"You're sure?" Duncan asked.

Neri nodded. "Yep."

"Very well then." He gathered up the other staffs and tied them to his back. "The mages in the king's army could use these. Speaking of…We should get a move on." He gave her a particularly stern look. "And you should practice with this new staff. Be _careful_ not to stab yourself on the blade."

"Okay."

She starting spinning it around, making a bunch of pew, pew noises and both humans stared at her, looking really fucking unimpressed.

"Without the commentary, perhaps," Duncan suggested.

"Right. Sorry," Neri mumbled.

* * *

 

They had made camp early that night with all of them feeling exhausted from walking and fighting. Arietta still felt embarrassed that she had let her anger get the better of her, but at least Duncan seemed understanding. The ridiculous part was, she didn't blame _him_ , not really. She knew he had made the right call, that what he said made sense. She was just mad that she hadn't been able to do anything else, anything more. She felt like a failure. And the closer they got to Ostagar, the closer she got to Fergus, the harder all of that got to swallow.

Blossom was snuggled up next to Neri tonight. Arietta still didn't understand why her hound had taken to the elf so easily. It wasn't that she didn't like people; she just wasn't usually overly affectionate with strangers. But she happily curled up next to Neri, head resting on the mage's legs. And Neri seemed rather fascinated by her, if a little wary at times. Mabari were smart and Arietta couldn't help but wonder that if her hound liked Neri enough to cosy up to her that maybe the elf wasn't so bad.

Duncan was telling them a story from his time as a cutpurse—a fact she was still digesting. She couldn't imagine him as such at all.

"I was young at the time, younger than either of you. And he would come and find me at the end of every single day to take whatever I had lifted that day. I took to stashing some things but if I didn't have anything on me, he would beat me."

A smirk twitched at the corners of his mouth and Arietta tilted her head, amused. "So one day, I found some rat droppings and smeared them in melted chocolate, then wrapped them up in a piece of fabric and kept them in my pocket. As always, he came and found me and demanded I hand over everything I had—food included."

Neri started to giggle. "Please tell me he ate shit."

Duncan nodded, smirk widening. "He did. To this day, I've never seen someone vomit quite as violently as he did. And he never did bother me again."

Neri grinned. "We used to prank people _all_ the time in the Tower. Me and this other mage, Anders, we were known as the Terrible Two because of it." Her eyes clouded over with something wistful and a little sad before her face lit up again. "We stole people's clothes, put smoke bombs in the Templar's armour, swapped people's beds around…" She sighed heavily and stared into the flames of their fire. "Balls. I never thought I'd miss much about that place."

"You had friends there," Arietta said. "I know how hard it is to leave loved ones behind."

Neri nodded sadly and ran her hands through all that long hair of hers. "Is it much farther to Ostagar?"

"No. We should reach it tomorrow afternoon," Duncan replied.

"And then we get to meet all the other Wardens?"

He nodded. "Most will be preparing for battle, I don't doubt. But there are two other recruits at Ostagar, waiting for us, and a junior Grey Warden who I'd also like you all to meet. Then you will have work to do before the Joining Ritual."

"Which you still haven't explained," Arietta said, feeling a little anxious at Duncan's secrecy.

"Nor will I until it is time to perform it."

Neri sighed heavily. "Secrets are no fun when you don't know them."

Duncan smiled ever so slightly. "You should rest. Tomorrow will be a busy day for us all."

* * *

 

"Wake up lazy bones!" Neri suddenly shouted, startling Arietta and Duncan awake.

"Neri?" Arietta asked, groaning as she rubbed her eyes.

"It's time for me to show you both up," the elf announced.

"What are you talking about?"

"You've been slapping me with your daggers for days," she said to Arietta before glancing at Duncan. "And you've been forcing me to learn a bunch of weird step things and all this other stuff. Well, it's my turn to test the both of you against magic."

"Neri… I don't think that's necessary," Arietta said.

"Wrong," the elf said. "Darkspawn have magic. I've read about it." They both glanced to Duncan for confirmation and he sighed wearily, nodding.

"It's true, they do."

"So, you two need some training against a mage in case we come across any emissaries."

"Neri, it's barely dawn," Arietta said. "I don't feel like getting tossed about by your magic at this hour."

"Huh. That sounds like you're chicken to me."

"I am not _chicken_. I merely don't want to start the day with several bruises, and seeing as you don't know how to heal, either…"

Neri started clucking.

Arietta shared a look with Duncan. He seemed to be just as determined as her all of a sudden. "Together?" he asked.

Arietta nodded. "Together."

They both grabbed their blades and charged at Neri. Just as Arietta's dagger was about to come down on the elf's thigh, a shimmering blue barrier appeared and Arietta's blade glanced right off of it, her wrist twisting awkwardly. Neri grinned from inside her blue bubble. Duncan was the next to slam his blades into the barrier but the damn thing didn't even flicker under such strong blows.

Arietta swiped at it again and this time the barrier disappeared but it did so with an outward blast that sent her and Duncan flying backwards. Arietta hit the ground with a groan, not appreciating her bruised behind at all. Neri was just standing there, grin wide and smug across her face. She made a come hither motion with her hand and Arietta jumped back to her feet and ran back in.

She didn't get very far before a blast of purple coloured magic was hitting her full in the chest and once more sending her flying through the air. She hit the ground even harder that time and groaned. She looked up and cried out in surprise as Duncan was flung through the air, straight toward her. She barely rolled out of the way in time before he thudded into the ground where she'd just been lying.

"Dead," Neri said as she let the bladed end of her staff hang in the air above them both.

Arietta let out a big huff of air that saw her hair blowing back away from her face. "I told you I didn't want bruises."

"Should have been faster, then," Neri retorted. "Again!" she called out as she walked back over to her starting spot. Arietta and Duncan both grit their teeth and got back to their feet.


	5. Ruin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Edited Feb 2016* 
> 
> Again. I added a stupid amount of stuff. Mostly, I improved the pacing, slowed everything down and showed much more rather than summarising events.

Ostagar was nothing like Highever, that much was obvious as soon as the old ruins appeared ahead of them. There was barely anything left of the old walls and towers with only a few of them still standing. All Arietta could think when she saw that was that Highever would look like that soon too. The thought made her queasy. Neri on the other hand, seemed to think the ruins were the most remarkable thing she'd ever seen. She had already asked a million and one questions about how they became a ruin, why there had ever been a fortress so far into the Wilds in the first place and so on. Arietta had left Duncan to the answering, too lost to her own thoughts as they got closer.

With all the open spaces, she expected it would be easy to spot her father's bannermen. She'd just need to weave her way through all the tents to find them, to find Fergus. Her gut twisted uncomfortably. She would need to tell him everything. Tell him that his wife and son were dead. That she hadn't been able to save them. That she hadn't been able to stop Howe's men or save their parents…

She sucked in a shaky breath to steady herself with. She just needed to focus on something else for a little while. Luckily, Neri was forever a good distraction.

"Where do all the people in this army go to shit?"

Arietta couldn't help the smile the cracked across her face. They'd already had to explain to the elf about the slightly less pleasant aspects of camping.

"Surely they don't _all_ wander off to drop a deuce in the Wilds what with darkspawn running around and all."

Duncan sighed. "There is a special place for it." He shook his head. "I'm sure Alistair will be more than happy to show it to you."

"That's that junior Warden you were chatting about, yeah?" Neri asked.

"Indeed."

"How gullible is he?" Duncan cast a slightly worried look her way and Neri cracked up. "Well it's not like I can pull anything over on you two. You're like hawks. But if _he's_ gullible then I might finally get to have some proper fun."

"Neria, you are at Ostagar to fight in a battle against darkspawn, not to prank the junior members of the order."

"It's an ice breaker! Without any ice because ice and me do _not_ get along."

"Let me guess, you froze someone with it accidentally," Arietta said.

"Nope. I spent half an hour getting sweaty and red in the face as I focused on this ball of ice, wanting to be able to slam it into the target dummy. I ended up hurling a snowball at it. The world's smallest snowball. Everyone laughed."

Arietta smiled. "At least that snowball didn't hurt anyone, sounds like it could have been lethal if it did."

Neri gave her an unimpressed glare. "So the Princess has finally found her sense of humour, has she?"

"Maybe a little. You _are_ quite amusing, after all."

Neri snorted. "I'll be here all week," she said, bowing.

Stupid as it was, Neri did make her feel at least a bit human again. She'd felt like such a husk of her former self but now, very slowly, she was becoming herself again and the elf was partly responsible for that happening, her and Duncan.

* * *

The king was  _hot_ . Neri had to physically stop herself from reaching up and running her hands through all that golden hair. She was used to kings being all old and grey haired in the books she had read but King Cailan was a lot younger than most. Arietta was talking to him about her family, telling him her father wouldn't be arriving. Neri happily watched the king pace, admiring his arse as he did so.

"I can scarcely believe it," the king said, head shaking. "How could he think he would get away with such treachery?"

"I don't know," Arietta said. "I never got to ask him." Even Neri could hear the bitterness in her tone. Cailan nodded solemnly.

"As soon as we are done here, I will turn my army north and bring Howe to justice. You have my word."

"Thank you, my King," Arietta said, bowing her head out of respect.

"I imagine you will want to see your brother. I'm afraid he's out scouting at the moment and I don't know when he will be returning. Although, I don't suppose you are eager to tell him the news."

"No," Arietta sighed. "Not particularly."

The king turned his attention to Neri instead. "And you must be from the Circle?"

"Was it the robes or the staff that gave that away?" Neri asked, smirking.

Cailan chuckled. "Duncan actually mentioned to me that he wanted to find an appropriate mage for the Wardens, you must be she."

"There's nothing appropriate about me," Neri said, her smirk shifting from teasing to wicked.

Cailan's stormy blue eyes widened ever so slightly and a brief smile curved his lips. "So I see."

Duncan cleared his throat loudly and started talking about the coming battle. Neri went back to staring at the king's arse.

* * *

Duncan had told them to split up and get familiar with the camp. Arietta had headed off to speak to some boring Chantry folk and to find Alistair and Neri had immediately headed down to where the mages from the Tower were camped. She knew quite a few of the ones that had come south and figured that the staffs they had recovered from that wagon would come in handy for them during the battle.

Neri spotted Wynne first, one of the older Senior Enchanters. She had been Anders' tutor for some years now, ever since Karl had been shipped off to Kirkwall. She was a damn good healer but she had a hell of a stick shoved up her arse usually. But Neri liked her, liked her even more when she'd healed Neri's broken body the last time Albert had gotten his hands on her.

She hid behind a tree, watching as the older mage listened to some woman preaching up on a wooden platform. She sent a ball of force magic rolling across the ground, toward Wynne, smirking as she did so. It reached the grey haired woman and then exploded upwards, causing Wynne's robes to lift up, revealing the woman's pale, bare legs. Wynne caught her robes and shoved them down before they showed anything _too_ revealing and Neri snickered quietly from her hiding spot.

"I don't know why you're here, young lady," Wynne called out, searching for her. "But I know that magic anywhere, Neria."

Neri giggled as she hopped out from behind the tree and headed down to see Wynne. She got a disapproving frown directed at her which only made her giggle harder.

"Hello Wynne," she said, still grinning.

"Will you ever outgrow such childish games?"

"Not bloody likely. I've got a reputation to uphold."

Wynne sighed but a smile twitched at her lips. "What brings you to Ostagar?" she asked, her ice blue eyes crinkling with confusion.

"Oh. I got conscripted into the Wardens after Jowan started slitting open his palm."

Wynne's eyes widened at that. "Jowan? A blood mage?" she whispered.

Neri nodded. "Got blood _everywhere_. Pretty sure this stain here is his," she said as she rubbed at a red mark on her robes.

"What happened?" Wynne asked, apparently not liking Neri's casual tone.

"He took a knife and dragged it across his palm, how else do you think he slit his palm open?"

Wynne scoffed in disgust. "That's not what I meant and you know it." Apparently Wynne didn't like flippancy either.

"He was going to be made Tranquil because someone saw him use blood magic. He swore to me he hadn't. Idiot that I am, I believed him and helped him destroy his phylactery." Neri shrugged. "Things didn't go so well after that."

Wynne shook her head and rubbed at the bridge of her nose. "I cannot believe he would stoop to such things. He was always quiet and nervous, yes, but blood magic?"

"Yeah, surprised me too," Neri said. "I ever see him again, I am punching him in his stupid face, assuming he's not an abomination by then. Even then I still might."

"He's made foolish choices, but I would not wish such a fate on him," Wynne said.

"Yeah, I've got a mean right hook."

"Of course you make light of it," Wynne scolded her.

"Would you prefer it if I get all broody about how one of my closest friends lied to me, used me and then betrayed me? Because I've done the brooding thing and it wasn't fun."

"It would not hurt to take some things at least a little seriously at times."

"You want serious? Here." Neri handed Wynne the three staffs she had hanging from her back. "These will help in the battle. They're better than anything the Circle's ever given us."

Wynne's magic lit up the orb on one of the staffs, the tall one Neri had struggled to carry at all. The older mage smiled slightly, no doubt because she could feel all the power thrumming through it.

"Nice, yeah?"

"Where did you find these?" Wynne asked, looking a little in awe.

"Some wagon on the road. Bandits had killed the owner and were trying to burn everything in it. So we took the staffs."

Wynne nodded. "I see you took one for yourself, too."

"Yeah." She pulled it from her back, grinning. "I can stab shit with it."

Wynne took an alarmed step back as Neri swung it about in such close proximity to her.

"Careful with that or you'll poke an eye out," Wynne warned.

"I'm not _that_ clumsy."

Wynne stared at her.

"Alright. Maybe I am." With a sheepish smile, she put her staff away. "I should probably get going."

Wynne nodded. "Stay safe and for what it's worth, I'm glad you found a way out of the Tower—a _proper_ way out." Neri smirked, knowing she was referring to Anders and his ridiculous escapes. She nodded.

"Thanks. And you be careful too, yeah? I'll probably need someone to stitch me back up once this battle's won."

"You should not joke about such things."

Neri smirked. "We'll be _fine_. Just look how many soldiers are here!" she said as she stared out at the sea of tents all around camp. "Those darkspawn don't stand a chance."

Wynne sighed a little wearily. "I wouldn't be so confident."

"Well it's better than being pessimistic. I've been free of the Tower a week, if you think I plan on dying any time soon, you've got another thing coming."

Wynne's expression softened into something close to an affectionate smile. "You always were stubborn."

Neri grinned. "I'll see you later."

She headed down into the camp, unable to stop herself from staring in awe. She'd never seen so many people all in one place. There were only one hundred or so people at the Tower but this… there had to be _thousands_ of people here. It was fucking incredible. There were fat people who barely fitted in their armour, dark skinned people like Duncan, people with weird tattoos, people in colourful armour, and men with huge hounds like Arietta's. Neri felt absolutely tiny surrounded by so many people. There were other elves too, most looked to be servants, all rushing around. She tried to follow the movements of a few before she lost track of them in the crowds of people all marching about.

It was only sheer luck that she spotted someone with the grey and blue scarf around their neck. It had been something Duncan had apparently given all recruits and Alistair. It was to help everyone spot one another around camp seeing as none of them had Warden issue armour yet. This one was busy flirting with some poor female solider who looked bored out of her mind. Neri moved closer to them. If she was right, this one was Daveth. He certainly didn't look like any Knight she'd ever read about, so she doubted this was Jory.

"You know what they say about Grey Wardens, right?" the male recruit was saying. The woman rolled her eyes.

"No."

"They say that they have insatiable appetites and can go all night long," he said in a seductive drawl.

"Mmhm." The woman folded her arms, looking even more unimpressed.

"That'll be me soon." He moved a little closer, a smirk twisting his lips. "Sure you don't want me to help fulfil any final wishes before the battle?"

Neri scoffed. "At the rate you're going, her final wish will be for you to fuck off."

Daveth frowned at her but the woman smiled. "Honestly, you should have said that fucking before battle helps to relax you and make you focus better. _That_ would be a reason to do it—she doesn't have time for an all-nighter, only a fast fuck with someone who knows how to use their hands." She glanced at the pretty soldier, enjoying the way those peach coloured lips curled into an intrigued smirk. "He's a cutpurse, so he's definitely got _that_ covered." The woman ran her eyes over the rogue, her gaze hooding just a bit.

"That right?" the woman asked him.

Daveth grinned and held up the woman's coin purse. "Every word."

With a final sly look, the woman nodded for him to follow and headed off up some steps. Her fellow recruit grinned at her, mouthed a thank you to her and then followed after the soldier. Neri watched their retreating backs with a slightly sad smile. She missed sex. Actual sex. But she'd been pretty repulsed by anyone touching her for a while now, what with the memories all so fresh.

"Was that Daveth?" someone suddenly asked her. She jumped a bit and found a podgy faced human staring down at her. She noticed the scarf around his neck and smiled.

"Think so."

The man sighed heavily. "We were supposed to go meet Duncan." He shook his head. "But forgive me, where are my manners? I am Ser Jory of Redcliffe. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"And you." She dipped her head. "I'm Neri."

He smiled kindly. "You're from the Circle, correct?"

"Yep."

"I haven't met many mages before. I hope your magic comes in handy against the darkspawn."

"Me too." She had expected him to be all fearful of the fact that she was a mage but apparently he didn't mind all that much. That was kind of a pity, actually. She wanted to scare her fellow recruits a bit, make them think she would turn them into a frog if they annoyed her. Ah well.

"You've not fought any yet then?" he asked, shifting on his feet so that the heavy chainmail he wore rattled.

"Nope, haven't fought much of anything before to be honest. Have you?"

"I have experience fighting but not against darkspawn, not yet. Although, if what Daveth says is true, then we might be facing them sooner rather than later."

"Well, we _did_ come here to fight them."

"I mean today. As part of the Ritual. He overheard some Wardens saying we are going to be sent into the Wilds."

"Huh. Might be a test to see how well we work together, or something?"

"Perhaps." He frowned a bit. "I already competed for the chance to be a Warden, it seems unfair if there are more tests to come on top of that."

"Maybe you'll get to sit this next one out then."

"You really think so?"

"No idea. You should go see Duncan and ask about it."

"Perhaps I will." He nodded. "I will see you later, my lady."

She stared at his back, one brow arched. Nobody had ever called her _my lady_ before.

It was fucking weird.

* * *

 

Arietta had wandered around the camp, looking for anyone she recognised from Highever. But it seemed the king was right, everyone she knew was out scouting. If she could just leave a message with—no that wouldn't do. She needed to find him herself and talk to him. She could wait another day, she was sure. It had already been a week, after all. She just hoped Howe didn't have plans for him as well. Some sort of trap or something. Her heart clenched just thinking about it. She had to trust that Fergus was as good as she was at fighting; if he got into trouble, he'd fight his way out of it.

She had been tasked with finding Alistair, the junior Grey Warden Duncan had told them a bit about. They all had these blue and grey scarves on to make them stand out but so far she hadn't seen _anyone_ wearing them. Then again, she hadn't really been looking for Wardens, had she?

"Yes, I was harassing _you_ by delivering a message," someone nearby was saying, their tone filled with sarcasm.

"Your glibness does you no credit," another man replied.

Arietta finally spotted the two bickering men ahead of her. One was obviously a mage given the robes he wore and the other had the blue and grey scarf around their neck. She smiled as she approached.

"Here I thought we were getting along so well. I was even going to name one of my children after you… the _grumpy_ one," the Warden retorted.

Arietta watched the mage leave in a huff and then the man she assumed was Alistair turned to her instead. "You know, one good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together."

"Or tears them apart," she replied sourly, letting her eyes commit his face to memory. He had warm hazel eyes, more light brown than green. He had crinkles around his mouth, like he smiled a lot. And she couldn't help but notice all of the muscle that lay hidden beneath the layers of his armour. He was tall, too, a fair bit taller than her. And definitely handsome.

"Ah, yes. I suppose it does do that too." He smiled a little sadly. "Are you Duncan's new recruit then? The one from Highever, was it?"

"That's right. I'm Arietta Cousland." She tried for a smile as she tucked her hair behind her ears but it probably fell short given her mood.

"It's nice to finally meet you, I know Duncan has had his eyes on your for a while now."

She felt her cheeks go a little rosy at that. There had been a time in her life when she would have been honoured to be a Warden to do something more than just marry the boy and have children. But she'd give anything to have that life back now instead of being here at Ostagar.

"I'm honoured he thought so highly of me," she said politely. "I take it you're Alistair? I was sent to find you."

"Yes, sorry. I am Alistair, yes. And I imagine Duncan wants to talk to you all." He nodded for her to follow him back down to the main camp. "I'll be accompanying you while you all prepare for the Joining," he explained.

"Ah yes, this mysterious Joining that Duncan refuses to discuss. I suppose you remain tight lipped on the matter as well?"

"Unfortunately, yes. The Joining is a secret for a reason. You'll find out more about it just before you undergo it."

"Very well," she said, sighing a bit.

"You know it's just occurred to me that there aren't many women in the Grey Wardens," he said. "I wonder why that is?"

"Most women I know don't like getting dirt under their fingernails. I can't imagine many would sign up for fighting darkspawn for the rest of their lives."

He chuckled a bit and she found she rather liked the sound. "Yes, I suppose it isn't the most pleasant work, is it? Have you ever fought one before? A darkspawn I mean."

"No, not yet. I can't say I'm looking forward to the experience."

He nodded sympathetically. "I wasn't prepared for how monstrous they are the first time I fought one. Vile creatures." His expression had twisted into something sour and Arietta nudged his arm with her shoulder.

"Any tips on fighting them?"

He looked at her rather seriously, his hazel eyes boring into her. "They die like any other creature, you just have to remember that and not let fear cloud your mind."

Arietta nodded. "If all else fails, we have a mage with us too."

"Ah. Duncan said he wanted to try to get one…I wasn't sure if he would succeed or not."

"He did. Her name's Neri," Arietta explained.

"And does this Neri have a temper on her? Only, I seem to have a habit of accidentally pissing mages off. It might have quite a lot to do with the fact that I trained as a Templar before joining the Wardens."

Arietta laughed. "I'm certain you and Neri will get along like a house on fire, then."

"Well, as long as she doesn't set _me_ on fire," he mumbled.

"Speaking of…" Arietta said as she caught sight of Neri shouting at someone down in the main courtyard. The elf looked pretty pissed off; she was waving her staff around and waggling her fingers at someone.

"That's her?" Alistair asked, his voice sounding a lot squeakier all of a sudden.

"Yes. We should probably…intervene."

"You go first…I, uhh, wouldn't want to startle her."

Arietta rolled her eyes and jogged down the hill toward the elf.

"How many servants do you know with staffs!?" Neri was shouting. Arietta caught sight of the cowering merchant and let out a heavy sigh.

"I-I'm sorry, it won't happen again," the man said.

"Yeah, too right it fucking won't-"

" _Neri_ ," Arietta hissed as she put her hand on the elf's shoulder. "That's enough."

Angry ochre eyes flicked to her before Neri's shoulders relaxed and a shit-eating grin spread across her face. Arietta pulled back, shaking her head.

"That was just a prank."

Neri winked at her and strolled off happily. She wasn't sure she would ever get used to the mage's antics.

Arietta nodded at Alistair to follow as she chased after the mage. "This is Alistair, Neri. The junior Grey Warden." The elf turned around as Alistair came to stand at Arietta's side and she raked her eyes right up him before smirking.

"Has anyone ever told you that you look just like the king?" Neri asked.

Alistair sputtered. "What?" he choked out. "No, of course not. Why would they do that? Because I don't. Do I? No. Why would I? That's just absurd." Arietta watched him as he turned redder and redder with each passing second.

"You've got the same jaw and nose," Neri said. She moved around so she was standing at Alistair's side and her grin turned devious. "Same arse, too."

"Maker's breath, Neri," Arietta whispered harshly. "You checked out the king's arse?"

"Obviously. I stare at everyone's arses." She started waggling her brows at Arietta. "How you doing, heart-butt?"

Arietta felt her cheeks flame and she cleared her throat to cover her embarrassment. "We are going to go see Duncan now and you are going to walk in front of us."

Neri rolled her eyes. "I've already committed it to memory. Hell, I've already rubbed one out to it as well."

"Urgghh. Move it. Now!" Arietta ordered.

"I'm going, I'm going," Neri replied, snickering quietly.

"Is she… was that serious?" Alistair asked, staring at the elf's back with wide eyes, his cheeks red like hers.

Arietta scrubbed at her forehead. "I honestly don't know." She shook her head. "Come on."

* * *

 

"Why are these blood sucking little shitbugs only biting me!?" Neri cried as she swatted at a mosquito trying to bite down on her ear. They'd been in the Wilds less than five minutes and she was already itchy all over but nobody else was having _any_ trouble at all. Not even Arietta or Daveth who had their muscled arms and legs out.

Arietta gave her an amused if slightly sympathetic smile. "You obviously taste good."

"Well, I _do_ ," Neri replied, smirking a bit. "Just not my blood. Why would that taste so good?"

"You're from that Circle, might be that you're fresh blood, as it were," Daveth suggested. "Never before been nibbled on." He was barely keeping a straight face and Neri cracked up.

"I've been _nibbled_ on plenty. These mosquitos are just being greedy."

"Can't blame them for wanting a taste though," he said, letting his eyes wander up her thin frame. She winked at him. He'd already offered to fuck her against a tree as thanks for getting him laid earlier, even if Neri wanted that—which she didn't— there was no way she was taking off any clothes with these bugs sucking her dry.

"Are you two done doing…whatever it is you're doing?" Alistair asked. His cheeks were flushed with colour and Neri doubted it was from their brief downhill walk out of the gates.

"You mean _flirting_?" Neri asked, mischief making her lips curl.

"Yes, that," he said, clearing his throat.

She moved closer to him, grinning up at his flushed face. "Does it make you uncomfortable, Princey?"

His hazel eyes widened with surprise. "Princey?" he sputtered out. "Why are you calling me that?"

"I _told_ you. The king has the same arse as you, or you have the same arse as him. Whatever."

"Maker's breath," Jory breathed out, looking like he wanted to be anywhere but here right now. "Can we please not discuss the King of Ferelden like that?"

"Agreed," Alistair said dryly.

"Oh I'm sorry, have I upset his Royal Arseness?" Neri asked, barely containing her snicker. Daveth wasn't so lucky; she could see his shoulders shaking where he walked a few paces ahead of her. Alistair was red as a tomato once more and that only made Neri's grin widen.

"Perhaps we should focus on the task at hand?" Arietta suggested. "We need those vials of darkspawn blood which means we need to find some actual darkspawn."

"Right," Alistair said, his voice still a little rough from his embarrassment. "We should keep moving, we're bound to come across some sooner or later."

"If we could maybe make that a sooner rather than later, that'd be great," Neri said. "I'd rather not be sucked bone dry while out here."

"Wolves!" Jory suddenly shouted, drawing his sword and shield as a pack of wolves charged in from all directions.

"Why the fuck are we being attacked by wolves!" Neri cried.

"They do tha-" Daveth said before getting tackled by one of the snarling canines. "Agh!" He grappled with the wolf, locking his hands around its neck and barely keeping those sharp teeth away from his face and neck.

"I've got it!" Neri shouted as she sent a blast of magic hurling toward the wolf pinning Daveth to the ground. The wolf went flying, leaving Daveth wolf-free. Only problem was, the wolf went and crashed into Jory's unprotected back, knocking him flat on his face. "Never mind, Jory's got it!"

The wolf was quicker to regain its senses than the knight was and it started biting down on Jory's armour.

"Neri!" Arietta shouted.

She sighed heavily as she locked her magic around the wolf and flung it into the air. That time when it crashed into the ground, it didn't get back up. Daveth was back on his feet now, fighting back to back with Alistair while Arietta was with a rather grumpy looking Jory and a terrifying looking Blossom. That left Neri on her own against a wolf that was charging right at her, all teeth and narrowed yellow eyes.

"Oh piss off, I've been bitten enough today as is." She flicked her wrist and the wolf slammed into a nearby tree, spine snapping with the impact. Any questions she had about whether her magic could actually kill seemed to have been answered, granted wolves weren't armoured men or darkspawn but it was something. She just needed to make sure she didn't accidentally throw an enemy at one of her companions, again.

With the wolves all dead, Jory finally levelled a glare at her. "And just what was that? You nearly killed me!"

Neri rolled her eyes rather exaggeratedly. "Oh _hardly_. It just chewed on you a bit."

"A _bit_!" Jory exclaimed. "It nearly had my head off."

"Look, the important thing is we're all alright," Alistair said, looking between them all. "Part of the reason you all came out here is so you learn to work together." He gave Neri and Jory rather pointed looks. "So enough chit-chat, let's get a move on."

They didn't get very far before stumbling into a guy crawling across the ground. He stank of blood and Neri's nose crinkled as she was reminded of the stench of blood that had filled the air when Jowan slit his palm open.

"Please, help me. My scouting party were torn apart by those _things_ ," the man was saying.

"It's alright, we'll help," Alistair said as he bent down to bandage the man's injuries and Arietta joined him, crouching in front of the dying man, her shoulders tensed.

"Were you with my brother, Fergus Cousland?" the noble asked worriedly.

The injured man shook his head. "No," he choked out. "I don't know who that is."

Arietta let out a relieved sigh at that. "Can you make it back to the gate on your own?"

The man nodded a little shakily. "I think so."

Alistair gave him a hand up. The man staggered a bit but then managed to take a few steps forward. Neri watched him leave, half expecting him to fall flat on his face again but she got distracted by Jory's ramblings.

"This is foolish and reckless, we should go back," he was saying.

Neri snorted. "We _just_ left the main gate." She glanced over her shoulder. "I can _literally_ see it at the top of the hill."

"Neri's right," Arietta said. "We're not turning back now. We haven't even encountered a single darkspawn yet."

"All Grey Wardens can sense darkspawn," Alistair explained. "Whatever their cunning, I guarantee they won't take us by surprise. That's why I'm here."

"You see, ser knight?" Daveth said. "We might die, but we'll be warned about it first."

Neri snickered. " _Does_ that make it better?" she asked as she walked on ahead with Daveth.

"I'm not sure actually. I was as good as dead before Duncan conscripted me. Can't say that was much fun."

"But surprise deaths are _so_ inconvenient. Like hello, I had plans, thanks."

He chuckled. "You can say that about any death. I was quite enjoying living, mind coming back later?"

"Maker, can we talk about something less morbid?" Arietta asked.

"Hey look! A flower!" Neri called out as she jogged over to the pretty plant.

She'd briefly spoken with the camp's kennel master before they left. According to him, this delicate looking flower could save the life of one of his hounds. Neri had her doubts but she'd be lying if she said she didn't want to at least try to make that mabari feel better. He was cute for a giant darkspawn devouring slobber beast.

"Neri, I thought you said you were _done_ sniffing plants after you sniffed that one that made you sneeze constantly for half an hour?"

Neri smiled as she picked the plant. "I _am_. This one is for someone back at camp. Said it can be used in healing or something."

"You're actually helping someone?" Arietta asked with one of her perfectly plucked brows arched.

Neri snorted. " _No_. I want to make a mabari better," she said as she stuffed the plant into her pack. Blossom barked happily. "Besides, don't the soldiers have those Chantry sisters for healing?" she scoffed.

"Those Chantry sisters still use healing potions and—you know what, it doesn't matter. We're not getting into _that_ now."

"Whatever you say, Tangles."

"Darkspawn!" Alistair suddenly shouted, getting all of their attention.

Sure enough, right ahead of them were a group of eight or so darkspawn, all running towards them. And holy fuck were they ugly. Neri had actually seen nicer looking shits than the things currently charging at her.

Their skin was a mix of rotten flesh and patches of pitch black taint. Their armour was rusted and mismatched. But it was their mouths that caught her attention the most; the flash of razor sharp teeth and lipless grins.

She didn't have time to consider everything else about them that was disgusting before they were close enough to catch in one of her spells. With a few whispered words and a twist of her wrist, the group of eight darkspawn were all thrown to the ground.

"Nice one!" Daveth shouted as he disappeared in a puff of grey smoke.

Alistair and Jory met the darkspawn head on, each of them taking out one downed darkspawn before the others were back on their feet. Neri was tempted to try another group spell, but the chances of her aiming correctly when she wasn't used to fighting like this were pretty slim. Instead she threw a barrier on Arietta as the rogue flanked one of the smaller darkspawn: a short stubby thing with two fairly wicked looking daggers. Blossom grabbed a hold of an arm, making the darkspawn drop its blade and then Arietta was on it, her daggers slicing so quickly through the air Neri couldn't keep track of them.

Daveth reappeared on the far side of the darkspawn, both his blades finding their way deep into a darkspawn's back. He dodged back quickly as another darkspawn came at him and Neri risked sending a blast of magic at it. The spell barely missed hitting Jory before it knocked the darkspawn hard in the chest and toppled it to the ground. Daveth didn't miss a beat and slit the creature's throat. The others had killed the three remaining darkspawn before Neri could even think about aiding and that was that, job done.

Neri twirled her staff, smiling at the way the smooth wood felt in her hand and the thrum of magic she could feel just under the wood's surface. The orb on top dimmed a little now that the fight was over and she tied it to her back once more.

She approached one of the dead darkspawn and kicked it with her boot. Black ichor flowed out of a wound in its neck and she grimaced as the smell hit her full force. "Do these things never bathe?"

"You know, that might actually terrify me more than fighting them," Daveth said. "Can you imagine stumbling across a bunch of naked darkspawn all lathering each other up with soap in some poor lake?"

Neri laughed. "See, that does the opposite for me. Now I'll just be cracking up every time we see them, thinking about them washing themselves down beneath a waterfall or some shit."

"How can you crack jokes?" Jory asked. "Look at these things. I've never seen anything so vile," he said as he stared down at one, his lips turned down in a frown.

"We should collect the blood before it…hardens," Arietta said as she crouched down next to the stubby one she had cut up.

"Better make it quick," Alistair warned. "I sense more darkspawn coming our way."

"Which direction?" Neri asked. Alistair pointed to a gap in the low hanging trees. "Alright, nobody charge in just yet."

"You gonna do that thing again?"

"Nah, I've got something better." She walked forward, stepping over the dead darkspawn until she was at the head of their group.

"Neri, careful," Arietta said, her voice tinged with uncertainty. "Remember what I said about being skewered."

"As if I'd forget that," Neri laughed.

The darkspawn emerged from the trees. Another big group, eleven in total this time. She sucked in a deep breath, focusing. Her staff lit up a brilliant purple, eating away at the gloom that surrounded them. The ground shook as the darkspawn rushed toward her. Their weapons were covered in blood, _human_ blood, she realised. They were less than ten paces from her now.

"Neri!" she heard Arietta cry.

The darkspawn leading the group grinned, its blade ready to cut her down and Neri returned a grin of her own as she slammed her staff to the ground then fisted her spare hand. It was almost comical how wide the darkspawn's eyes went as it was suddenly sucked backwards, away from her, straight into the centre of her spell. All eleven ended up in a big heap on the ground and Neri laughed at the sight of all the limbs sticking up in odd directions.

She glanced over her shoulder at the others, finding Arietta just a foot behind her and everyone else nearly just as close. She smiled a little at that. "Okay! _Now_ you can charge in."

And they did.

Neri let her staff do most of the fighting, sending out purple blasts of magic at anything that got too feisty but she was too tired for much else now. The Circle really hadn't prepared her for battles like this. It wasn't even that she was out of mana; it was more than concentrating this much was plain exhausting.

In the Circle, concentrating on a spell was easy and it wasn't like you were ever in any real danger. But out here? Everything was trying to kill them, including the insects. There was so much to think about all the time. She had to make sure she didn't lose her footing or drop her staff or hit her companions or get her robes caught on a tree branch and there were enemies everywhere that she constantly needed to keep an eye on. Which was hard considering she wasn't the most observant person. Luckily, the fight ended quickly and they all went back to the very fun task of collecting darkspawn blood. _Why_ they needed this shit, she had no idea. Maybe it was just proof that they'd killed the fucking things.

"This is repulsive," Jory complained.

Neri glanced up and smirked at the sight of Arietta bent over collecting blood just in front of her. "At least the view is nice."

Daveth snickered from her right and Arietta let out a heavy sigh. "If I turn around and find you staring at my arse, you will regret it."

Neri's smirk widened but she looked back down at the handsome fellow she was draining of blood. They really were disgusting creatures. But they were almost so comically villainous looking that Neri wasn't all that scared of them—the lake lathering up images helped with that. And they certainly seemed to die easily enough. From reading, she knew it was usually the sheer numbers in which they flooded to the surface in that did the most damage. Organising an army big enough to fight that wasn't exactly easy. She was actually impressed they'd done so here at Ostagar so quickly. But that probably had a lot to do with King Hottie loving the Grey Wardens so much.

"Alright," Alistair said. "Now to find those treaties."

"I still don't get why they got left behind at all," Neri said as she stood back up with her now-full vial.

"I'm not sure on the specifics," Alistair replied. "But an attack of some kind that caused them to flee the outpost seems the most likely reason."

"Wouldn't they try to grab the most important thing at their outpost before fleeing though?"

"They were magically sealed in a chest," Arietta explained. "Maybe they thought they could come back for them later."

"Or they all died so never could flee with the documents," Daveth pointed out.

Alistair shook his head, sighing slightly. "Well, with that cheery thought, we should get going."

"Good idea," Arietta said, leading the way with Blossom at her heels.

"Hold," Alistair said. "I think I can sense-"

Arietta suddenly staggered, hissing in pain. The noble looked down at the arrow in her shoulder like it was a mild inconvenience rather than a freaking arrow buried in her skin. Neri sucked in a breath and threw barriers on everyone. No sooner had she done that than an arrow bounced off of her own shield.

"It's over there," Alistair said, pointing to the treeline. Sure enough there was one of the little darkspawn there, holding a spiky short bow.

"Hey!" Neri shouted at it. "It's not nice to stick things in people you don't know!"

She latched onto it with her magic and dragged it out from the trees across the water-clogged ground between them. It made the most horrible sounding grunts and shrieks as it clawed at the ground. Neri pulled her staff from her back and approached it. She held the bladed end over the creature's chest and then pushed down with all her weight. She heard the crunch, her stomach turning at the side and twisted her staff.

" _See?_ " she said as she yanked her staff back out, cringing at the thick black blood coating it.

"Maker's breath, Neri," Arietta said from somewhere behind her.

"We should get that shoulder looked at," Alistair said.

"I can do that," Neri replied. "Why don't you keep an eye out for darkspawn so nobody _else_ gets shot?" Guilt flashed across his face and he nodded tightly.

"It's barely a graze," Arietta said. "It's not a big deal, really." She glanced in Alistair's direction, obviously trying to make him feel better but the warrior didn't look convinced. Arietta tuned her attention back to Neri. "Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"Yep," Neri replied. "I got real good at patching up wounds in the Circle." She stared at the arrow. Arietta was probably right; it certainly didn't look like it had done any real damage. Still, it wasn't like she could walk around with it still in her shoulder. When Neri looked back up at the human, she was watching her a little strangely. Neri realised how her last sentence probably sounded—although true, she didn't really want to get into all of that in the middle of a swamp. "Mishaps with spells mostly," Neri lied. Arietta nodded and Neri yanked out the arrow.

"Aghh!"

"Drink this," Neri said, shoving a potion to the noble's lips. Arietta did, with a bit of a glare levelled at her. Neri cleaned the wound with some water then applied a poultice. "There, good as new. Probably."

Arietta rolled her shoulder, wincing slightly. "That's reassuring."

" _You're welcome_ ," Neri replied.

The human sighed a little. "Thank you," she said quietly.

Neri smiled. She didn't think she would ever actually meet a noble, let alone sort of kind of maybe like them. Arietta could be frustrating, what with her being a workaholic and all, but she _did_ seem to care. She wouldn't have trained so much with Neri on the road down here otherwise.

"You're alright?" Alistair asked the noble.

"I am," Arietta replied sincerely. "Shall we?"

Alistair nodded and led the way forward, through the lovely swampy Wilds. Neri had been so excited by the whole _being_ _outside_ thing when she first left the Circle, but this really was the most vile place she had _ever_ been and that was saying something seeing as she grew up in the Tower. It was typical really that this was the first place she had to properly explore as a Warden-recruit. It couldn't have been some nice sandy beach or a pretty meadow, could it?

Arietta watched the elf with a slightly amused smile. Her face scrunched up every time she walked into a puddle, which was often. Arietta couldn't decide if it was from being distracted or from lack of balance and co-ordination on the elf's part but Alistair had to keep steering her away from giant bogs lest she get swallowed up by one. And Arietta could hear the elf's boots squelching even when they were on dry ground. They'd need to get her new ones once all of this was over and done with, clearly Circle issued boots weren't meant for the great outdoors.

It was odd, actually. By now, she was pretty sure the Joining that they'd soon be completing was at least a little bit dangerous, perhaps even potentially lethal. She couldn't think of many other reasons for such secrecy. And yet, even with the possibility that they might not all make it through it, she had started to make a list of all the things she needed to do with her companions. She wanted to get Daveth some new gloves, ones that didn't have holes in them and while she didn't agree with stealing…learning a few tricks of the hand from him certainly wouldn't go amiss. She wanted to spar with Alistair because she had never fought a Templar-trained warrior before and she had already noticed that a few of his moves that were new to her. She felt like giving Jory a lecture on his cowardice and potentially his foolishness, too. He had willingly joined the Wardens, competed for it even, yet he only ever seemed to worry or complain. She wanted to tell him to go back to his wife and unborn child because nothing good would come of being here, away from her.

It was probably stupid to get attached to any of them, even without the Joining looming over their heads, they'd soon be in a real battle against a horde of darkspawn. The chances of them surviving that were… she didn't want to be a pessimist and say low, but she knew it wasn't going to be easy. But, much to her surprise, she found that she had started to care about them all anyway. She smiled a small private smile to herself. That was the self she knew, the one who cared about _everyone_. She wasn't so cold and bitter inside now to have stopped that from happening, apparently.

"I think that's the cache up ahead," Alistair announced. "And of course it's also where a large group of darkspawn are. Everyone be ready."

They all glanced to Neri, making sure she was paying attention and the elf scoffed. "I'm not _that_ easily distracted." They all gave her cynical looks and Neri sighed heavily. " _Fine_ but I'm paying attention right now!"

"Good, then you won't mind doing your… magic thing for us then," Alistair said.

"Yeah, yeah," Neri grumbled as she walked forwards up the hill.

Arietta could see the darkspawn ahead. By her counts, there were at least twenty of them; she readied her daggers.

Glowing blue barriers appeared over them all, making Arietta's skin tingle as the cool magic washed over her. Arrows started to bounce harmlessly off of it a second later as the darkspawn noticed them and began to attack. A small group of darkspawn warriors charged them, rushing down the hill with their weapons drawn. Arietta moved to Alistair's side, standing just a little bit back from the elf. Then Neri was slamming her staff to the ground and throwing her other arm into the air, fisting it.

The air around them seemed to shimmer and Arietta watched as the group of darkspawn were lifted into the air and separated from their weapons. Neri let the swords all stand upwards, sharp end pointing at the sky. The darkspawn all writhed and squirmed where they floated mid-air as Neri lined them up with their weapons. And with a deep breath and a frown of concentration, Neri slammed the darkspawn back to the ground, impaling them on their own weapons.

The mage's shoulders slumped and Arietta patted her shoulder as she ran past. "Nicely done," she said before taking on the other darkspawn, who by now looked rather angry.

She fell into the easy and familiar rhythm of the fight, her blades clashing with all manner of darkspawn weapons. Blossom never left her side, always aiding her in disarming them or knocking them off balance for her. Arietta liked to take down targets as fast as possible, never wasting a single jab or slice of her blades. Time was valuable in a battle and so was energy. She didn't easily tire, but that's because she was never overly flashy with her attacks. She knew some rogues who flipped about the battlefield, leaping through the air and other such nonsense, but she used stealth or her hound and ended things with a slit throat, usually.

The darkspawn were no different. Most of their armour left their necks wide open for attack and with so much of it being mismatched and even ill-fitting because they had likely taken it from humans, she found it easy to slip her blades into the places she knew would drop them like a sack of flour. She noticed that everyone except for Neri seemed to be fighting with renewed vigour, apparently just as pleased as Arietta was that they were close to completing their second task and could thus leave the Wilds soon.

A blast of Neri's magic hurtled into a darkspawn rogue that had just vanished in front of Arietta, throwing it hard into a tree. Arietta threw a thankful nod at the mage, noticing just how exhausted the elf looked. She wasn't used to all of this, that much was clear but she looked like she had probably pushed herself a little too far. Arietta turned back to the darkspawn Neri had just hit and dragged her blade across its throat.

"That's all of them," Alistair called out a little breathlessly a moment later.

Arietta nodded, sheathing her blades and wiped down Blossom's face with a rag, doing her best to remove as much of the darkspawn's blood as she could. Blossom didn't seem to care at all that she had been biting into such creatures all day but Arietta still didn't want to take too many chances.

They all headed the rest of the way up the hill, toward what was left of the outpost. Like everything else this far south, it was little more than a few broken walls. Arietta noticed the elf using her staff to walk and approached her.

"You need a rest," she said.

Neri glared at her. "Do not. I'm fine."

"Your stubbornness will only bite you in the ass later," Arietta said.

"I'm not weak," Neri shot back with more venom than Arietta had been expecting.

"I never said you were, just that you look tired," she said carefully.

"And I told you, I'm fine." The elf strapped her staff to her back and marched on ahead, leaving Arietta to frown at her back.

Arietta caught up to the others just as Alistair was opening the cache. She could tell just from the slump of his shoulders that it was empty before he even spoke the words out loud. She sighed heavily and kicked a rock across the ground. They didn't have a plan in place for such a failure.

"Well, well, what have we here?" a new voice suddenly said. Arietta's gaze flicked up to where a woman was standing, watching them. Her hands immediately went to the hilts of her daggers.

The newcomer walked down the ramp, toward them. Arietta ran her eyes over the stranger, taking in the obvious staff strapped to her back. Apostate, then. The mage wasn't wearing much, black leather robes that hung from her narrow hips to swish about her legs, the top half of which was a deep burgundy cut of fabric that barely kept her decent as it dipped down in an elongated u-shape that showed off the mage's cleavage. Gold jewellery and white pearls hung around her neck, contrasting prettily with her inky black hair which she had tied back in a bun, leaving her bangs sitting across her forehead.

"Are you a vulture, I wonder? A scavenger poking amidst a corpse whose bones were long since cleaned?" she asked as she prowled toward them, her yellow eyes focusing onto Arietta as she took a wary step forward, her hands still resting on her daggers. "Or merely an intruder, come into these darkspawn-filled Wilds of mine in search of easy prey." Her eyes narrowed and she folded her arms across her chest. "What say you, hmm? Scavenger or intruder?"

Arietta shared a quick glance with Alistair before she took another step forward. "Neither, actually."

The apostate's eyes narrowed curiously at that and she prowled forwards once more, moving to stand closer to the edge of the ruins. "I have watched your progress for some time," she admitted. "Where do they go, I wondered. Why are they here?" She kept her back to them all, a move Arietta didn't trust at all. She was too confident by far. Her hands tightened on her daggers, and she glanced around, trying to see if she could spot others waiting to ambush them. "And now you disturb ashes that none have touched for so long. Why is that?" She turned back around, her keen eyes flickering over them all before settling back on Arietta.

"Don't answer her," Alistair muttered from her side. "She looks Chasind, and that means others may be nearby."

"Oh, you fear barbarians will swoop down upon you," the apostate mocked.

"Yes, swooping is bad," Alistair replied, eyes narrowing.

"She's a Witch of the Wilds, she is," Daveth suddenly said. "She'll turn us into toads!"

"I always preferred frogs myself," Neri said, smirking a bit. Daveth frowned at her.

Morrigan's eyes locked onto Neri, her head tilting a bit. "You there, women do not frighten like little boys. Tell me your name and I shall tell you mine."

"It helps that I'm too busy checking you out to be frightened," Neri replied, her lips curling with mischief once again.

Every single one of their companions sighed. She really should have seen that one coming. Arietta wasn't certain Neri even knew how to greet people without flirting. The witch's eyebrows lifted with surprise at that but she didn't seem insulted.

"I'm Neri. Nice to meet you," the elf said with a dip of her head.

The witch once again looked surprised and a small smile touched her lips. "My but that is a proper civil greeting, even here in the Wilds. You may call me Morrigan." The apostate dipped her head to them. "Shall I guess your purpose?"

"Please don't," Neri interrupted. "We're Wardens, here for the documents that were in that chest."

"Neri," Arietta hissed at her. She really needed to teach Neri not to reveal so much information, especially around strange apostates.

"What?" the elf replied. "My feet hurt, okay?" She looked back to the witch. "So if you know what happened to them, that would be really useful right about now. If not, we'll bugger off back to Ostagar. Sound good?"

Morrigan watched them curiously before nodding. "I do know who removed them. 'Twas my mother, in fact."

"Huh," Neri said. "Can you take us to her?"

"Indeed I can." The witch turned and headed through the bushes. "Follow, if it pleases you."

* * *

 

Arietta would never understand how Neri could be so relaxed around a witch, but the elf was happily pestering Morrigan with a million and one questions. _Did you make those robes yourself? Can you teach me how? Have you been an apostate all your life? How do you keep your hair looking so nice?_ And Morrigan for the most part was happy to answer, impressed perhaps by Neri's curiosity and thirst for knowledge.

Arietta just shook her head.

"You don't trust her either," Alistair whispered.

"Of course I don't," Arietta replied. "This all seems too convenient."

"You're expecting a trap?"

She nodded. "It's best to be ready for anything, even if that means watching out for swooping barbarians," she teased.

Alistair smiled a bit. "Don't you know? They're a serious problem in these parts."

"The sooner we get out of here, the better then."

"I don't know about better…" he said, watching her with concern-filled eyes. "But yes, we should get back to camp as soon as possible."

She nodded glumly. "The Joining, it's dangerous, isn't it?" she asked, voice low.

He swallowed thickly. "I can't talk about it much. I'll just say, it's a secret for a reason. I-" He glanced down at her, his cheeks flushing a tad. "I hope it goes well for you."

"Is there anything I can do to make sure that it does?" she asked.

His face softened with something akin to regret. "No."

They walked for some time, and Arietta would be lying if she said she didn't keep her eyes peeled for other soldiers just as much as she did enemies. Fergus was out there still. And she couldn't help but worry that if his group didn't have a Warden with them to sense darkspawn that they could end up just like that injured soldier's patrol had and—no. She wasn't going to think like that. She couldn't. Hope that her brother was alive helped to counter her need for revenge against Howe. She could focus on that one good thing rather than letting her anger eat away at her. She had to.

A hut appeared up ahead of them and standing outside of it was an old woman. Her cheeks were gaunt, her clothes tattered and her hair a wispy, grey mess.

"Greetings, mother," Morrigan said. "I bring before you five Grey Wardens who-"

"I see them girl," the older woman replied. Her eyes raked over them all and a slight smile crinkled the corners of her mouth. "Mmm. Much as I expected."

Arietta frowned at that, not liking the way the woman's eyes seemed to look _through_ them all.

"Are we supposed to believe that you were expecting us?" Alistair scoffed. Despite the haughtiness of his tone, she could see him shift a little uncomfortably next to her.

"You are required to do nothing, least of all believe. Shut one's eyes tight or open one's arms wide…either way, one's a fool."

"She's a witch, I tell you," Daveth hissed. "We shouldn't be talking to her!"

"Quiet, Daveth," Jory hissed. "If she's really a witch, do you want to make her mad?"

"Can you guys shut the fuck up for like one moment?" Neri asked.

"Says the elf that doesn't stop talking," Jory retorted.

Neri gave him a roll of her eyes and Arietta stepped forward. She was done listening to all of this and also didn't want to risk anyone actually angering the two apostates in front of them.

"Greetings," Arietta said. "Your daughter explained to us that you had secured some Warden documents from the abandoned outpost. We were hoping to acquire those."

"Ah yes, the Warden treaties." The witch turned around and picked up several scrolls from the table outside her hut. "And before you begin barking, your precious seal wore off long ago. I have protected these."

"You… oh," Alistair said, blinking in surprise. "You protected them?"

"And why not?" the witch said. "Take them to your Grey Wardens and tell them this Blight's threat is greater than they realise."

With that ominous message, they left the witch's hut with Morrigan leading them out of the Wilds at her mother's insistence. Arietta stared down at the documents in her hands, reading over them as she walked. She still couldn't believe these had just been left in that chest; if Morrigan's mother hadn't secured them, they likely would have been lost forever.

* * *

 

Arietta scrubbed at her forearms, hoping to bring some warmth to her cold skin. The sun was just beginning to set and the warmth in the air seemed to be seeping away along with the daylight. Arietta stared out over the Wilds, watching as the evening mists settled over the vast swamp. There was a stillness to it all, she realised, even the camp itself was quiet now; no doubt everyone was preparing for the battle ahead. The battle they'd soon be fighting in as Wardens, if they survived the Joining.

Duncan had only told them a little once they had returned to the camp but it was enough for Arietta to be certain of the risks involved. Alistair had led them to a secluded old temple and now they were awaiting Duncan himself in order to complete their Joining. They'd been waiting some time already, long enough for Neri to sit down on the wall and swing her legs over the edge. The elf still looked tired to Arietta, not that Neri would admit such a thing. She seemed to have a chip on her shoulder about that for some reason.

"How's that mabari doing?" Arietta asked her as she stroked her own hound's head.

"Better, I think. The kennel guy said he might be able to try imprinting him on me or something once he's fully recovered."

"You know what that means, right?"

"Yeah, I'd end up covered in double the amount of slobber I currently do."

Blossom whined.

"Oh don't worry," Neri said to Arietta's hound. "I _love_ slobber."

Blossom barked happily.

The elf glanced up at her. "What do you think our chances are then?"

"Chances of what?"

"Surviving the night."

Arietta sighed a bit and sat down next to the mage. "Honestly? I don't know. It feels like everything's trying very hard to kill me lately."

"Well, at least we got to see one more sunset."

"I suppose there is that," Arietta said, turning her gaze back to the slowly changing sky above.

She would be lying if she said she wasn't angry that she had been dragged into all of this. She could hear Jory voicing similar concerns behind her with Daveth. She didn't like that she was being forced to take all of these risks before ever speaking with Fergus. If something happened to her, he would find out what had happened through gossip and little more. That thought alone was enough to make her grit her teeth. Jory was right, it wasn't fair.

"Neri, can I ask you a favour?"

"I could definitely get us both off before the final fight."

" _What_?"

The elf glanced at her, frowning a tad. "Is that not the favour you wanted? One final fuck before it all ends?"

"Maker's breath _no_ ," Arietta said, her cheeks flaming red.

That damned smirk was back at the elf's lips. "You sure? Might help you calm down before the battle."

"Yes, Neri, I'm sure."

"What was the favour then?"

Arietta ran a hand roughly through her hair, grateful for the cold air cooling her heated skin. "I wanted to ask you…if I die and you live, if you'd try to find my brother for me. I know I haven't fully explained what happened to me but I'm sure you've pieced together most of it by now and I just can't bear the thought of him not knowing what happened to me, to all of them and-"

"I'll try," Neri said. "And I'll make sure the king keeps his word and turns his army north."

" _Thank you_." The elf nodded. "Is there… is there anyone at the Circle you'd want me to get word to if the opposite is true?"

"Anders and Solona. Greagoir will know who you mean. And hey, if I die really embarrassingly, like I trip over my own feet and fall on a sword, could you maybe _not_ tell them that? Make up something heroic."

Arietta smiled. "I can do that. Anything else?"

"Tell them… It's not their fault." The elf gave her a particularly watery smile and Arietta nodded.

"At last we come to the Joining," Duncan suddenly said from somewhere behind them. Arietta and Neri got to their feet. "The Grey Wardens were founded during the first Blight, when humanity stood on the verge of annihilation. So it was that the first Grey Wardens drank of darkspawn blood and mastered their taint."

Arietta's stomach clenched at that. She wasn't sure what she had thought the Joining entailed but that was probably one of the more horrific options she could think of. She barely heard Jory's blabbered comments or anything the others said in response. All she could think was how cruel the hand she had been dealt was. She closed her eyes, taking a few calming breaths and did something she hadn't done since leaving her home. She prayed to the Maker to spare her life once more.

Neri listened to Alistair and Duncan explaining that drinking the darkspawn blood could kill you, that those that _did_ survive could sense darkspawn. Honestly though, her biggest question was how the fuck had the Wardens first discovered any of this? With the Blight destroying half of Thedas, some desperate sods had what, decided to say fuck it and drunk the darkspawn blood? That sounded insane. But Neri knew better than most what desperate people were capable of.

Alistair started to speak the words they always said before the Joining begun, his head lowered.

"Join us, brothers and sisters.

"Join us in the shadows where we stand, vigilant.

"Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be foresworn.

"And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten and that one day we shall join you."

"Daveth, step forward," Duncan said as he passed the shiny silver chalice over to the rogue. He stared into it for a brief second before tipping it back and handing it back to Duncan. You could hear a pin drop as they all waited to see what would happen.

Daveth started to stagger and his hand lifted to squeeze at the bridge of his nose. His face twisted into a grimace and then he doubled over, screaming in pain. Neri's breath hitched in her throat at the sight and she took a step back, brushing Arietta's arm in the process. The human was already looking away, her eyes shut and Neri reached out with her fingers, finding Arietta's hand. The noble's fingers latched onto hers, squeezing tightly as Daveth fell to the ground, dead.

"I am sorry, Daveth." Duncan turned his attention to Jory, telling him to step forward next.

"But…I have a wife. A child!" he said, drawing his sword as he backed up, away from Duncan. "Had I known…"

"There is no turning back," Duncan said gravely as he put the chalice down on the stone table.

"No! You ask too much! There is no glory in this."

"Jory, just drink it!" Neri urged, but the knight continued to shake his head, his sword gripped tightly in his hand. Duncan stepped toward him and drew his short sword.

"Duncan, you can't just-" Arietta began to protest, but in two quick swipes, Duncan was past Jory's defences and burying his sword in the man's chest. "Fuck."

"I am sorry, Jory," Duncan whispered as the man choked on his own blood. Duncan pulled his sword free and Jory dropped to the ground.

Neri's hands fisted in her hair as she watched the puddle of blood around Jory's body spread out across the stone tiles.

"You murdered him for being frightened!" Arietta hissed.

"There was no other way," Duncan said. He picked up the chalice again. "Step forward, Arietta."

The noble looked pissed, her cerulean blue eyes ablaze with fury and glaring at Duncan. Neri was pretty sure they could take out Alistair and Duncan by themselves. They could just straight up flee, say fuck this and go. But she knew the noble was too, well, noble to do that after she'd given him her word she would join the Order. And Neri didn't fancy outright murdering two people just to win her freedom. She wasn't a killer.

Arietta took the chalice from Duncan. She stared down at its contents with a twist of her lips and then glanced at Neri. She gave the noble a reassuring nod and then watched as Arietta swallowed down a sip. Duncan took the chalice from her and Neri watched with bated breath as Arietta groaned and clutched at her head. She wasn't screaming though and when she next opened her eyes, they were white. Alistair caught her as she passed out, somehow having moved silently around their backs. He lowered her gently to the ground, smiling slightly.

"She'll live," he said.

Neri sighed in relief.

"It is your turn," Duncan said, handing her the chalice.

"Yeah… not a fan of sharing drinks. You couldn't make up a chalice all for me?" Duncan frowned at her and Neri's shoulders slumped. "Right. Drinking it." She stared down at the dark lumpy liquid with a crinkle of her nose. "Just so you both know, if I die, I am haunting the shit out of you both."

She lifted the chalice to her lips, swallowed, and saw a roaring dragon before the darkness took her.


	6. Charge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle for Ostagar.

Neri had done a lot of reading about Grey Wardens. Nowhere did it mention having to drink darkspawn blood out of a stupidly oversized chalice to become one. The taste had disgusted her; she really tried to think of something worse, but nothing came to mind. It still lingered on her tongue, the bitterness making her want to gag. Arietta had survived the Joining too. While unconscious, they had both seen the Archdemon: a huge black leathery dragon with teeth the size of Neri's arm. The thought of having to fight and kill that thing made her head swim.

But they were Grey Wardens now and she was free, sort of. Leaving the tower had been incredible. The stars were dazzling and nothing felt better than grass between her toes or the smell of flowers or seeing the sun rise over the dewy hillside. Her good mood had been soured somewhat by the darkspawn and the deaths of Jory and Daveth though. Arietta was clearly annoyed at Duncan for killing Jory, but a coward like him probably wouldn't have survived the Joining anyway. Daveth had died slowly; choking to death in agony. At least Jory's death was quick.

They had spoken with the King and his General, Loghain, about the night's battle. This Loghain was a legend in his own right. He had won more battles than Neri had eaten hot dinners. He looked every bit the cool and calculating General the stories described him as: icy blue eyes and long black hair. The King looked the complete opposite: blonde hair and warm eyes, his face always grinning. He wasn't taking the battle very seriously, but perhaps that's what the soldiers needed. Optimism.

The King's army was to draw the darkspawn into the gorge. Arietta and Alistair were told to light a beacon in some tower on the other side of the bridge so that Loghain's army would know when to flank the darkspawn. It was a pretty good plan as far as Neria could tell. Surprise attacks were always good unless you were the ones being surprised. The King had asked for Neria personally; Duncan had claimed her shields would be invaluable. It was her job to protect the King no matter what;  _no pressure_. Arietta and Alistair had been upset that they weren't going to be the in the thick of the fighting, but Duncan had told them they all had a part to play.

"Good luck," she chirped cheerfully to her fellow Wardens.

Arietta gave her a thin smile. "And to you. Don't let them get too close. And if they do, knock them over the head with that staff of yours," she said rambling slightly.

Neri gave her a smirk. "I hope you can find some dry sticks to light that beacon with. It would be awkward if we lost this battle because you two baboons couldn't start a simple fire," she joked. "See you on the other side."

She gave Arietta's dog a quick chin rub and told her to look after her owner; the dog barked happily at her, wagging her stumpy tail.

The army lined up across the gorge, hundreds of soldiers, archers, mages, and hounds all waiting for the King's call to fight. Neri was standing with Duncan and Cailan as they patrolled up and down. In the distance, shadows started to move. The darkspawn were approaching. Neri's heart was pounding in her chest; her palms sweating, she wiped them on her robes.

_I need a good gripe on my staff._

She would be lying if she said she wasn't utterly terrified. But that fear would keep her alive, she hoped. She didn't fancy being the youngest Warden recruit to die. Her gravestone would say something embarrassing like ' _Grey Warden for all of five minutes; at least she tried_.' That's if she even got a grave. It wouldn't really matter though; nobody would be able to visit it to place flowers down. All of her friends were stuck in the Circle after all. She decided not to dwell on such depressing thoughts.

The fires on the horizon were enough to distract her as they turned the sky a bloody red. The air stank of fear; it was dripping off of the men around her.

_Oh, like I smell any better._

Raindrops started to fall and lightning flashed overhead. She hadn't felt the rain on her face for so many years; it was cool on her flushed cheeks and helped her to calm down a little, a reminder that she was free.

_I will not die here; not after everything I have survived so far._

The darkspawn charged, kicking up mud as they ran across the valley.

 _There are so many._ She gulped.

She could see genlocks and hurlocks and a few ogres; many, many more were out of sight beyond the tree line though.

King Cailan raised his arm. "Archers!" They lit their arrows and aimed. The darkspawn were nearly halfway across the field now. Their arrows flew through the air, lighting up the sky with orange, red, and yellow. Some darkspawn fell but more took their place.

"Hounds!" the King ordered; the mabari ran forward.

"For Ferelden!" He shouted boldly; the soldiers charged in.

* * *

They sprinted across the bridge with Blossom just ahead. The battle below had just begun. Huge slabs of fiery rock were slamming into the bridge, throwing her off-balance and threatening to send them all tumbling into the gorge below. She pressed onward with Alistair hot on her heels. Men were arming the catapults, but they were getting bombarded with missiles and debris. She could see the Tower ahead of her.

They approached and a soldier ran down the slope to greet them. "You're Grey Wardens aren't you? The tower... it's been taken!"

"What are you talking about man? Taken how?" Alistair demanded.

"The darkspawn came out of nowhere," the soldier said breathlessly.

 _Maker,_ they did not have time for this! The longer they took to light it, the longer it would take for Loghain's army to charge in. Every second meant more deaths. One of those deaths could be Duncan or Neria or the King himself.

"We have to clear it out!" Arietta shouted.

They charged through, Blossom and Alistair drawing the attention of most of the darkspawn so Ari could pick them off from behind. Blossom let out a terrifying howl, stunning a few, and Arietta stabbed her blade into the back of a hurlock's skull. There were bodies everywhere.

 _How did this happen? Maker, I hate surprises_   _and this is the worst kind of surprise._

They cleared the outside of the tower and headed inside where more darkspawn awaited them. Alistair walked straight into one of their traps, the fiery explosion throwing him back. She helped him to his feet; luckily he wasn't too badly hurt. Arietta made herself disappear and stabbed the emissary in the face. There were darkspawn around every corner and behind every door. She could feel them tickling her mind; it was a very uncomfortable feeling. It felt intrusive and made her skin crawl; it wasn't even particularly useful now as there were darkspawn  _everywhere_ , leaving her unable to distinguish between those in front of her or above, on another floor. They raced into another room and a catapult fired at her. She ducked but not enough and the fiery projectile caught her in her shoulder, sending her flying.

"Come on, you can nap later," Alistair quipped as he helped her to her feet. Her armour had protected her from any real damage so she charged another hurlock.

* * *

She ducked as a hurlock swung its shield over her head. She stabbed up with her staff, impaling it deep in its tainted flesh. Her blood was rushing through her ears, drowning out the clashing and the screams and the grunts of people and enemies dying around her. Even the scratching of the darkspawn pressing down on her mind was blocked out as she focused on her immediate surroundings and the King only.

She lifted a few more genlocks into the air before slamming them to the ground. She was using a protective barrier on Cailan; she would have shielded Duncan too but he insisted against it. The King was her priority. A hurlock alpha barrelled toward her, its huge axe dripping with blood. It snarled at her and she winked at it before blasting it in the chest with her magic, throwing it down into the mud before she slammed her staff through its eye socket. A shriek appeared behind her, clawing at her back but her rock armour protected her. Duncan stabbed the shriek in the chest, killing it. He nodded at her and wiped the sweat from his brow. She checked on the King; his movements were slow due to his hulking armour tiring him out. She moved closer to him and put a few glyphs of repulsion around him. All the while she kept looking up at the beacon, wondering what was taking so long.

* * *

They made it to the top floor, finally. A massive ogre was bent over eating one of the guards. It turned to look at them with blood still oozing from its mouth; it stepped forward to face their group, the ground shaking with every step. It let out a massive roar, saliva spraying everywhere. Arietta's breath hitched at the sight of it.

Alistair let out a war cry and charged in. Some of the other guards charged too. Blossom stayed close to her as they moved around to flank it. She switched to her bow trying to find a few weak spots; this thing had to have some,  _somewhere_. She landed an arrow in its eye, which made it mad; it swept its arm across the floor knocking down the soldiers. Alistair dodged and brought his sword down on its wrist, which only made it madder as it slammed its fists into the ground.

Arietta managed to get close with her daggers drawn. She sliced at the back of its knees and it collapsed to the ground. The ogre tried to swing round and grab her, but she leapt up on its arm and onto its back to impale one of her daggers in its shoulder, making it roar again. Alistair was at its front, slamming his shield into its head. The mage that had joined their group had frozen the ogre in place and the other guards were slicing and stabbing at whatever they could. Instinct took over and she jumped up, using her blade as a step, and landed another dagger into its neck. She jumped off as the ogre tried to grab her again and Alistair tossed her his sword; she took a deep breath, her heart thudding in her chest, and then ran at the ogre, jumping on its body to bury the sword deep in its skull.

They raced over to the beacon and lit it. The fire caught quickly; the huge yellow flame burning brightly. They smiled at each other. Sharp pain suddenly pierced her chest. She looked down to see an arrow protruding from her lung. More pain tore through her body and the room faded to black.

* * *

She could see the fire burning brightly to her left; Alistair and Arietta had succeeded in lighting the beacon. But the minutes ticked by and still Loghain hadn't charged in. She was limiting her magic to just protecting the King and keeping enemies away from herself. She had a nasty cut on her thigh from a genlock who got a lucky jab in. Another hurlock was pressing her hard, swinging its axe wildly. She wasn't used to this much physical activity; the training Arietta had given her on the road had helped, but it was not enough to handle a battle such as this.

_What the fuck were they all thinking? Who the fuck puts a mage in the middle of the battlefield?_

It swung again; instead of swinging the blade though, it brought the butt of the axe down on her head. She fell backwards. Everything kept turning white as she shuffled away from the approaching hurlock with her staff still in her hand, but she couldn't focus enough to think of any spells. It lifted its axe to take the final blow; with all of her strength, she lifted her staff and stabbed it up through its crotch. It started gurgling on its blood, its axe dropping to the floor next to it, and she pushed her staff in further. Finally, the hurlock fell to the floor. She stood and put her boot on its body and yanked her staff out of its groin; it was covered in thick reddish black blood.

_Disgusting._

She looked up, searching for the King. She noticed an ogre charging toward something. She scanned the area but couldn't see past all the fighting. Then the ogre was holding something golden.

 _"_ No!" she screamed as she ran forward.

It had the King in its hand. She tried to put her shields back on him but the ogre's grip was too strong. It roared loudly, the gold turned to red and the ogre flung the King's body to the floor.

_Fuck._

All around her people were dying; to her left a hurlock cut the head off of a soldier. In front, three genlocks stabbed a man and then sliced his belly open before crushing his head with a mallet. She was frozen in fear; this was no longer a battle, but a massacre. She looked at the ogre again; it was roaring in pain as Duncan dug his daggers into its chest over and over. The ogre fell to the floor and Duncan limped over to his dead King. She pushed her way through to him.

"Loghain betrayed us! We have to sound the retreat!" Neri shouted. Duncan stared up at the beacon, all hope lost from his eyes. "Duncan?" she begged.

She screamed for everyone to retreat; some of the soldiers turned to run, but the darkspawn were giving chase. It was hopeless. Nobody would escape the horde at this rate. Someone needed to buy them some time. She grimaced as she realised she would have to be the one to do it. She put her barriers up and cut her way through to the middle of the gorge.

She downed her last lyrium potion and threw down glyphs of repulsion and paralysis before focusing everything she had on the space in front of her. It was a sea of death stretching down the gorge as far as she could see. She put her hands forward, sensing a familiar tug in her stomach as a shield wall materialized at her fingertips. It spread out, higher and wider, and she imagined it growing across the entire width of the battlefield. It obeyed.

The wall kept out the darkspawn as she screamed at the soldiers to run. Some darkspawn were still on her side of the wall, but she had halted most of the horde from pursuing the living. Her arms were trembling as she held the wall in place and her brow was dripping with sweat. The darkspawn amassed on the other side; they were smashing on it, throwing projectiles into it. Everything they had was pressing against the wall.

She blocked it all out. She went to her place of calm, just focusing on her breathing, slow, deep breaths.

Her head was pounding, pulling her out of her meditation. She wasn't sure how long she had been doing this for, but she was out of mana now and Duncan was at her side. He seemed to realise she couldn't hold it any longer.

"It has been an honour fighting at your side, Duncan," she said through gritted teeth, as her magical barrier started to crumble at the edges.

"Likewise," he said sadly, his face cast in shadow.

Her arms dropped to her sides, shaky and aching, and her barrier crashed to the floor. She took a deep breath as drew her staff one final time.

The darkspawn charged.

Duncan was fighting at her side, cutting darkspawn after darkspawn down in a wild fury, a terrifying blood lust. Neri stabbed and swiped her staff but it was no use; she saw the blow coming, but she had nothing left. Her mana and strength were gone.

It took her in the side of the head.


	7. Awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edited as of the start of March 2016

Arietta didn't want to open her eyes. She ached all over and her body felt heavy with tiredness, but she forced them open all the same. There was a roof over her head but it wasn't the same one she had passed out under. This was crafted from little more than straw and wood. She was in a bed too, she realised. Not the comfiest bed in the world, but still a bed. She scowled as she looked around the small hut. That's when her gaze landed on the back of the witch's head. She'd recognise those robes and that silky black hair anywhere—especially after Neri had asked the witch a hundred questions about it all.

"Morrigan?" Arietta croaked, her voice hoarse.

The apostate turned immediately, eyebrows lifting slightly. "Ah good, you have decided to join the land of the living once again." The witch picked up a flagon and handed it to her. Arietta didn't bother questioning what was in the glass before lifting it to her lips and drinking. Cool water poured down her parched throat and she sighed in relief as she set the glass back down.

"How did I end up here?" she asked. She remembered the tower, the darkspawn everywhere—the way they had barely made it to the top floor to light the beacon. There had been an ogre which had delayed them further and then just after the beacon had been lit, they'd been overrun. The others… they had been killed… and Alistair… he'd been shot with arrows, just as she had.

"Mother rescued you after you were overrun by the darkspawn," Morrigan explained. "'Twas not easy but she succeeded in saving you and your companion."

"You mean Alistair? He's alive?"

"He is, he awaits you outside in fact." Arietta smiled a bit at that, she hadn't lost everyone; that was something.

"I should go check on him," Arietta said as she went to stand.

"Ah, before you do," the witch said, "you should know that your battle was lost."

"What?"

"The darkspawn, they killed your king after the man that was to respond to your signal quit the field. Those he abandoned were massacred."

"That can't…" She took a shuddering breath. The king couldn't be _dead_. Loghain wouldn't have left him to die. Neri… Neri wouldn't have let him die unless she was…unless she had… "They can't _all_ be dead. I-"

"Your friend is not taking the news well either," Morrigan said.

Arietta had meant to let out a bitter little laugh but all that left her lips was a sob. She couldn't believe this, any of this. She'd sooner believe the witch was lying to her than think it all real. She _needed_ the king for justice for her family's murders… they needed the Wardens to stop the Blight… This couldn't be happening. Not another slaughter. Not so soon.

Morrigan was telling her to go talk to her mother instead if she wanted details, but Arietta barely heard her as she staggered out of the hut into the near-blinding sunshine outside. She squinted and spotted the familiar sandy hair and chainmail armour.

"Alistair," she rasped. He'd barely turned around before she was throwing herself into his arms and hugging him tight. She cried into his shoulder, all the pain and shock making her body tremble. His strong arms wrapped around her as he let out a shaky breath at her ear. "I can't believe…I can't…"

"I thought you were dead for sure," he said, his voice gruff. "Everyone…everyone else is. Duncan. The Grey Wardens. Even the king, they're all just…dead."

"Neri too," Arietta whispered as she pulled back to look up at him. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and sniffed roughly.

"It doesn't seem real," Alistair said, his hazel eyes glistening with unshed tears. "If it weren't for Morrigan's mother, we'd be dead too."

"Do not talk about me as if I am not present, lad." Arietta only then noticed the old witch standing just a few feet away from them. She looked the same as she had last time-hair a wispy grey mess, cheeks hollow and eyes sunken with age. Blossom had been happily sitting at the witch's side but padded over to her and nuzzled at her hand once Arietta noticed her. She stroked her hound's head, relieved she still had her mabari too.

"I didn't mean… but what do we call you? You never told us your name."

"Names are pretty, but useless. The Chasind folk call me Flemeth. I suppose it will do."

Arietta straightened, suddenly on edge.

" _The_ Flemeth from the legends?" Alistair asked, his eyes wide. "Daveth was right—you're the Witch of the Wilds, aren't you?"

"And what does that mean? I know a bit of magic and it has served you both well, has it not?"

"It has," Arietta said, not wanting to anger the very powerful apostate. "Thank you for saving us, Flemeth."

Flemeth's eyes were sparkling with something as she glanced at Arietta. "You are welcome. We couldn't very well have all the Wardens die at once, now could we?"

"Two of us is hardly much better," Arietta said. "How are we supposed to stop _a Blight_? And that's not even accounting for Loghain. He's going to be covering his tracks, spinning lies about what really happened at Ostagar." He'd have to if he wanted to keep his life. He'd even have to lie to his own daughter about her husband's death. A death Arietta was pretty certain Loghain had guaranteed would happen. The king never should have been on the front lines.

"You're the daughter of a Teyrn," Alistair said. "That has to count for something—there must be people you can reach out to, your parent's friends."

"…Possibly. Although I would have counted Arl Howe amongst those friends once, before he murdered my family," she said bitterly. Frustratingly, she wasn't sure who she could trust now.

He nodded sadly. "And I know Arl Eamon. He wasn't at Ostagar so he still has his army and I _know_ he wouldn't stand for this."

Arietta sighed. It would be them versus Loghain; there was no way that would end well. "It will end in civil war, but I don't see that we have a choice."

"Exactly," Alistair said. "We cannot let Loghain get away with this."

"That doesn't help us with the Blight though," Arietta said.

"You have more at your disposal than merely old friends," Flemeth pointed out.

"Of course! The treaties!" Alistair exclaimed.

"That would get us dwarves, mages and the Dalish…" Arietta said. "Would that be enough when combined with Arl Eamon's men and anyone else we can gather?"

"It has to be," Alistair said with a firm nod. "We can't count on support from other Wardens, I suspect Loghain will have already stopped them from entering Ferelden."

"He's likely several steps ahead of us already… and if I'm right, I think he might have been planning this for some time. It's not going to be easy to stop him." Arietta sighed and ran a hand through her tangled hair; her heart ached at remembering Neri's affectionate nickname for her.

"We don't have a choice though," Alistair said.

She nodded. "We'll do it together."

"There is one more thing I can offer you," Flemeth said.

Morrigan walked back over to them at that moment. "The stew is bubbling, mother dear. Shall we have two guests for the eve or none?"

"The Grey Wardens will be leaving shortly, girl. And you will be joining them."

"Such a shame-what?"

"You heard me, girl. The last time I looked, you had ears," Flemeth laughed.

"Have _I_ no say in this?"

"You have been itching to get out of the Wilds for years. Here is your chance," Flemeth said. She turned to look at Arietta and Alistair again. "As for you, Wardens, consider this repayment for your lives."

Arietta would be lying if she said she was comfortable taking an apostate—a witch—with them, but she knew mages were useful, and right now, they couldn't afford to be fussy. They needed all the help they could get.

"If Morrigan is alright with that," Arietta said. "Then we welcome the help."

"Are you sure?" Alistair asked. "Not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but won't this add to our problems? She is an apostate."

"Neri already made the Templars angry with the Wardens, I don't see how having an apostate with us will change that," Arietta said. "Worst comes to worst, we say she's a Warden too."

"I—alright," Alistair relented.

"Mother…this is not how I wanted this. I am not even ready-"

"You must be ready," Flemeth said. "Alone, these two must unite Ferelden against the darkspawn. They need you, Morrigan."

"I… understand."

"And you, Wardens? Do you understand? I give you that which I value above all in this world. I do this because you _must_ succeed."

"We do," Arietta said.

"Allow me to get my things, if you please," Morrigan said. Arietta watched the witch disappear back into the hut before she glanced back at Flemeth.

"Will you be safe here with the horde so close by?" she asked.

"Ha! Do not worry about me, Warden. This old hag has a few tricks up her sleeves yet."

Morrigan exited the hut with a pack on her shoulders and her staff strapped to her back. "I am at your disposal, Grey Wardens," she said. "I suggest a village north of the Wilds as our first destination. 'Tis not far and you will find much that you need there. Or, if you prefer, I shall simply be your silent guide. The choice is yours."

"No need to be silent," Arietta said. "But we should get going." She glanced at Flemeth. "Thank you again."

With some final goodbyes to her mother, Morrigan led them through the Wilds. Arietta barely recognised anything in their surroundings and that made her somewhat uncomfortable. She didn't like the idea of trusting the witch to lead them anywhere, but again, they didn't have a choice. Getting lost in the Wilds was the last thing they needed.

It was eerie how quite the Wilds truly were though. She supposed it was because the darkspawn had moved on, but that thought did not fill her with confidence, either. What if the horde wiped out somewhere like Redcliffe before they ever reached it to ask Arl Eamon for help? She had to hope that such a thing would not come to pass, but so far, luck did not seem to be on their side. Not that she would voice such concerns with Alistair; with him grieving the death of Duncan and the other Wardens, she doubted he needed anymore gloomy thoughts added to the ones already circling his mind.

She glanced at him, finding his scowl deep, his expression troubled. She nudged him with her arm. "We can do this," she reassured him, even if she wasn't certain of that fact herself.

"Maybe we can," he said quietly. "I just don't understand why Loghain would do this."

"We'll ask him, right before we chop his head off," she said.

His expression hardened and he nodded.

"I intend to do the same thing with Arl Howe."

Alistair's eyes crinkled with sympathy. "Duncan only told me a little about what happened."

"It has to be related," she said. "Howe doing that to my family… Loghain doing that to the king. Without my father or Howe's men at Ostagar, the king's army was considerably weaker than it should have been. And on the way to Ostagar, we came across a caravan being attacked by bandits. They burned a lot of merchandise, only a few mage staffs survived. I didn't think much of it at the time, but those bandits didn't fight like bandits. They fought like trained soldiers."

"You think Loghain sent them to destroy the caravan?"

She nodded. "Fewer supplies for the army creates a weaker army."

Alistair sighed roughly. "Then they really could have been planning this."

"He also let Cailan fight on the front lines, if he really cared, he would not have allowed that." She shook her head, frustrated. "I don't know if we could have won that battle, but what Loghain did was abhorrent."

"It just doesn't make any sense. Does he not realise how big of a threat the Blight is? He's just weakened Ferelden considerably—the country he loves is now more vulnerable than ever to the darkspawn."

"He obviously doesn't think the Blight is much of a threat. That opinion will change quickly though, I fear. The horde will start destroying arlings and soon Loghain will be dealing with some very angry lords and ladies at his doorstep. Cruel as it is, we can use that destruction to our advantage. We just need to convince them that the Wardens are needed to stop the Blight, not Loghain."

"You've thought a lot about this," Alistair said. There was a hint of an impressed smile at his lips that had Arietta blushing.

"It's better to plan, to think ahead, rather than let my grief consume me."

He nodded, guilt flashing in his eyes briefly.

"I had so much riding on the king—justice for my family, reuniting with my brother, Fergus who is still missing and could be dead. Now I will have to find my own justice, we both will." She cleared her throat. "Why don't you tell me more about Arl Eamon and how you know him…I figure Redcliffe should be our next point of call after this village Morrigan is taking us to."

* * *

 

Neri felt like absolute shite.

It was with great effort that she opened her eyes at all. She squinted up at the endless blanket of grey clouds above with a scowl. She had no idea what time of day it was, but at least she knew _where_ she was. She could still see the beacon burning away to her left. The signal of hope that it should have been made her scowl deepen as all the memories flooded back to her. The horde, the king dying in the ogre's hands, Loghain's army never coming to aid them, her final stand, her barrier, her mana drying up, Duncan fighting at her side… then darkness.

She hadn't expected to wake up at all, not that she was sure she'd last much longer anyway. Sharp pain shot through her head as she tried to move it and her mana was still barely recovered, her whole body aching from pushing herself way too fucking far in that fight. Her leg throbbed too from the gash she had received when fighting the hurlock. Knowing her luck, it was probably already infected.

It might be for the best if she died, anyway. She was _supposed_ to be dead, was supposed to have died before the king did—that was the only way it was acceptable for him to have died. Instead, she had failed, had fucked up and been too weak to save him, to protect him. She was the one who had let the king die while she got to live, didn't that make her little better than Loghain?

No. He had deliberately betrayed the king, had _abandoned_ him and the entire army. Neri had at least tried to save him and as many as she could with her barrier. She stayed and _fought_ until she couldn't anymore. Fuck Loghain. He was a piece of shit, cowardly, backstabbing sack of dicks.

She forced herself to look around but regretted it immediately as she found Duncan's corpse lying next to her. Her stomach flipped and she gagged at the sight of his bloody and empty eye sockets. What the birds had pecked away, maggots were now feasting on.

She looked back at the sky and forced herself to take some deep calming breaths. _Fuck_. Some part of her had hoped he might have made it too. Maker knew, they needed a senior Warden if they were going to stand a chance at stopping the Blight. She swallowed thickly. Arietta and Alistair were alive, or so she hoped. She needed to find them and help them.

But first she needed to get the fuck out of this shithole.

There were darkspawn nearby; she could sense and hear them. It wasn't many, she didn't think, but with her mana still so low, she didn't stand a chance in fighting them. She managed to lift her head enough to spot them. They were a group of four, all rummaging through the corpses on the battlefield. They were distracted so she was pretty sure if she stayed low and crawled, she would be able to get out of the valley.

With great difficulty and a hissed breath, she rolled onto her stomach. She gave Duncan one final sad glance. "I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice barely above a rasp. She strapped her staff to her back and then sucked in a deep breath. It was a long way to the edge of the valley and the ruins beyond. And she was going to have to crawl over she didn't even know how many corpses to get there.

But she was too stubborn not to try.

She dragged herself forward, her leg flaring with renewed pain and her head making everything spin and her vision white out. She grit her teeth and pulled herself over the first corpse: a male soldier, human, with half his head missing. There were brains everywhere and Neri gagged again before clearing him and sliding across mud. The next corpse was a darkspawn's. One that had been cut open, leaving its guts spilled out across the ground. The smell alone was revolting without her having to crawl over all those slimy innards.

The next soldier she came across had a canteen on him and she eagerly downed what was left in it, grateful it was water and not alcohol. She could do this. It was only another one hundred or so corpses between her and the exit. She dragged herself over his body, the wound on her thigh tearing as it caught on his armour. She bit back a curse and carefully moved her leg over the sharp armour.

The darkspawn hadn't noticed her despite her being probably the least sly elf in Thedas, and for that she was grateful. She wasn't sure what she would do if they attacked her. Die horribly, most likely.

She had to keep taking regular breaks, her arms shaking with the effort of dragging her forward, her whole body aching from lack of mana and energy. She just wanted to close her eyes and sleep for a bit, but she knew that would be a death sentence.

At least as she got closer to the exit, there were less corpses to climb over and most of them were darkspawn corpses—which, while disgusting, was better than seeing a load more dead men and women.

It was dark by the time she finally made it to the top of the valley. Her robes were ripped, her stomach and chest were cut up and bleeding. She could no longer move her leg much and she was pretty sure her skull was cracked, hence why she kept nearing whiting out when she moved her head too much. But she had done it. Now she just needed to get to her feet.

She pulled her staff from her back and used that to get up into a sitting position, her filthy hands trembling as they clutched at her staff. She took a few deep breaths, tears welling in her eyes from the pain tearing through her body at just moving upright by that much.

Gritting her teeth, she pulled herself the rest of the way to her feet and promptly fell against the nearby wall. She leant against it, panting heavily, her eyes squeezed shut as she tried not to pass out. She took a sip from another canteen she had looted from a corpse, sighing in relief as she pulled it away from her lips. She didn't have any food, but she did have some bandages that she had scavenged. They would have to do for her leg. She would need to clean it first though. And that meant finding a different source of water so she didn't waste her precious canteen.

She gripped her staff tightly, putting most of her weight on it as she took her first step away from the wall. Her leg made her wince as pain radiated out from the wound she hadn't dared even look at yet, but she grit her teeth and took another step.

She could do this.

She could do—

Her foot slipped on the mud and she lost her grip on her staff. She hit the ground hard, crying out in pain, her face and arms splattering down into a muddy puddle. A sob ripped through her, unbidden and that seemed to be all it took to set her off fully. The tears fell and her hands fisted in the sludge, all that cold and thick mud sliding between her fingers. She was too weak, just as Albert had always said. She shouldn't have been here, shouldn't have been made a Warden, Duncan was wrong. She wasn't a good choice at all. She had failed. She would keep failing.

It would be so easy to just lower her head into the puddle—something she head read in the Circle; it only took a few centimetres of water to drown someone. It would be better for everyone if she died, that way she couldn't fuck up anymore.

It would be better if all this pain and misery simply…ended.

She lowered her head. The cold water washed over her face, caressing her flushed skin. Her lungs tightened with the strain of holding her breath but she stayed under, waiting for the moment when she couldn't hold it anymore.

Something buzzed around her ears—no, not her ears, inside her mind. Darkspawn were approaching, she realised, and she surfaced, gasping. She wiped at her face with her arm and immediately spotted the creatures. They weren't far away. And they had seen her.

Death by darkspawn was better than suicide, that much was certain.

She practically screamed as she forced herself back to her feet again. The darkspawn ran at her, swords drawn. There were two hurlocks and two genlocks. One genlock had a bow, the other two had daggers and both the hurlocks had big swords.

She didn't have much mana, barely enough for a single spell really, but fuck them. She'd go down fighting.

Just as the three bladed darkspawn were about to reach her, she sent a wave of magic straight at them, knocking all three on their arses. She lunged with her staff, burying the sharp end in one of the hurlocks, killing it, and then she fell sideways, onto the genlock rogue. It was only just getting back to its feet, but her falling onto it knocked it back on its arse. She managed to get a hold of one of its daggers and dragged it across the darkspawn's throat with a snarl.

She looked to her left, just as the other hurlock took a swing at her, but it never connected. A mabari warhound was suddenly there, tearing into the hurlock's leg, pulling it to the ground. She glanced at the archer and hissed as it let loose an arrow. She lifted her hands and a tiny barrier formed in front of her which the arrow glanced harmlessly off of.

She yanked her staff free of the dead hurlock, and felt it multiplying her mana with a smile. Her magic latched onto the archer and dragged him forwards, across the slippery mud. The mabari went from tearing into the neck of the hurlock it had managed to knock to the ground, to charging at the archer and killing it as well.

Neri let out a relieved and surprised laugh, disbelief at having survived yet another encounter flooding through her. The mabari bounded back over to her, wagging its stumpy tail excitedly. She grinned as she hugged him, realising this was the mabari she had saved with the flower from the Wilds.

"I am glad to see you, boy," she croaked, her throat tight with emotion.

It was nice not being alone, even if it was a dog for company.

He barked happily and licked her face, his dark brown ears all perked up and happy looking. He was cute for a loud barking darkspawn killing machine.

"Reckon you can help me find some water, boy?"

He barked happily again and ran off toward the edge of the nearby path. She got back to her feet, just about, and slowly followed him. Sure enough, there was a pool of water in the ditch and she smiled as she scratched him behind the ear.

"Good dog. Let's get cleaned up, shall we?"

She slid down the bank, barely biting down her cry of pain. Then she carefully lifted her robes and peeled them off of the wound in her leg. The sight of the yellow puss leaking from the gash made her queasy and she knew the red inflamed and swollen skin all around it wasn't a good sign.

She cleaned it as best as she could before bandaging it. She cleaned the wound on her head next, then the cuts on her front from her escape out of the valley. She wished she had some sort of healing potion or some lyrium or _something_ to make her feel stronger, but she was shit out of luck.

She used her staff and the mabari to help her back out of the ditch and back onto the path. She was panting again and absolutely exhausted. It made sense to try to camp seeing as it was dark now, but she didn't want to risk that, not when she was still so weak and so close to Ostagar and other darkspawn. And seeing as she had slept most of the day…it made sense to walk for as much of the night as she could manage. Plus she was less likely to get spotted by darkspawn at night, unless they were just as good at seeing in the dark as she was… She'd just need to do her best to avoid them.

"Alright boy," she said. "I need to give you a name."

He barked again and started jumping around in a circle. "Well, you certainly like barking…" He barked some more. "And you like killing darkspawn too, yeah?" He actually seemed to nod his head as he barked that time and she smiled. "Okay then. Barkspawn it is."

He let out a happy yap, his tongue hanging out of his mouth. "Let's get out of here, Barkspawn."


	8. Lothering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edited as of March 2016

Arietta stared at the men in front of her—the "toll collectors"—with a twist of her lips. They were common bandits preying on the weak fleeing from the darkspawn horde. Valuables given up to pass these men could have been used later to pay for a caravan north or a hot meal while on the road and fleeing for their lives. It was likely the people who had fled thus far, had done so quickly and thus with little on them. It made her sick that these men would take that from them in order for them to reach the relative safety of the village beyond.

And that is exactly why she didn't have a problem killing them.

"Sure, we'll hand you what little coin we have," she said. She took a step forward, holding out her coin purse. The bandit leader eagerly stepped forward to take it from her hands, and that's when she struck. Just as he grabbed it, she swung her other arm through the air. Her knife cut cleanly across his neck and he stared at her, wide eyed for a moment before blood sputtered out of his mouth. She tossed one of her daggers into another of the bandits just as their leader fell to his knees. Morrigan froze a third, Blossom tackled a fourth and finally Alistair cut down the last.

"Bastards," Arietta spat as she picked up her coin purse from the ground.

"How very no nonsense of you," Morrigan said. There seemed to be a hint of something approving in her gaze and Arietta nodded, before pulling her dagger free of the corpse.

She knew she still carried a lot of anger in her, anger that Howe had planted. Her bloodlust wasn't as bad as it had been on the road with Duncan, but she definitely felt less patient than she once had been. Seeing injustice now set her veins afire. Alistair looked a little surprised by just how quickly she had taken those men out, but if he disapproved, he didn't voice it.

"Check their supply cache," Arietta instructed. "Anything we don't need, we give to Lothering's Chantry."

"T'would it not be better to keep such things for ourselves?" Morrigan asked.

"It'll just be more for us to carry, more to slow us down."

"She's right," Alistair said. "We can't just think about ourselves. Not during a Blight."

"Ah, so you _can_ speak," Morrigan said, lips curled with something mocking. "Here I thought you simply too stupid to."

"Morrigan," Arietta warned.

"And here I thought you would have enjoyed the quiet," Alistair bit out.

"It was hardly very quiet with you dragging your feet and sniffing loudly every few minutes," Morrigan retorted.

"I will endeavour to grieve more quietly in future then," Alistair said, frown darkening his features.

"Please do."

"That's enough, you two," Arietta snapped. "Alistair, you aren't the only one grieving but you can't let that effect you so much—not when we have work to do. And Morrigan, if you have nothing nice to say, I'd rather you not speak at all. We need to work together, all of us, and having you bickering is going to drive me into an early grave. That clear?"

"If he wasn't such a-"

"If _she_ wasn't so-"

"Enough! You will both stay silent unless it is to comment on something useful."

Arietta turned and stared out at the village. There were people everywhere. Many were sitting around fires, trying to stay warm. She could see crudely put up tents scattered around a small clearing and beyond that were long queues of people around caravans and stalls. The largest building visible was the Chantry. It looked nothing like the one in Highever which was a grand building made of grey sea-stone with aqua and cerulean coloured stained glass windows. This one was small, made of muddy-brown bricks, its big oak door sealed shut and under guard.

If she had to guess, she'd say the Chantry was filled to bursting with the injured from the battle, with the desperate seeking shelter. Seeing this many people in one place, people who were clearly already struggling… it filled her with worry. They could not stay here long. They needed to flee, but she knew it would be near-impossible for those injured or lacking in coin and food. More worrying than that, she couldn't see any of Lothering's guards. There were a few Templars and clearly a lot of soldiers from the battle present, but otherwise there looked to be very few people here who could organise a hasty retreat should the darkspawn come— _when_ the darkspawn came.

With a sigh, she glanced at her blissfully quiet companions. "Alistair, take what supplies you can to the Chantry. Tell them where they can find the rest. Find out as much as you can about what happened here. Morrigan, do the same, elsewhere. Perhaps use your womanly charms to see if you can get us more supplies too?"

Alistair scoffed at the 'womanly charms' part and Morrigan shot him a lethal looking glare.

"And pray tell, what shall you be doing?" Morrigan asked.

"I…need to at least try looking for my brother. There are soldiers here, people who might know his whereabouts."

The witch rolled her eyes. "He is likely dead or long gone from here, why waste valuable time in searching for him?"

"Because he is my _brother_ ," Arietta said coolly. "Everyone who survived Ostagar came _here_. I know it's been days since the battle but if he _is_ hurt, then he is likely _here_ among all the injured." Her hands were clenched at her sides and she forced them to relax. "I am aware I might be wasting our time. This…will be the last time I look for him. If I do not find him here, then…then I will put him from my mind and focus on the Blight instead."

"I'll ask around too," Alistair said with a smile. "We can ask after Neri as well."

Arietta nodded. "Thank you." She stroked her mabari's head. "We can meet on the outskirts in one hour."

They all split up. Arietta headed into the refugee camp first, with Blossom at her heel. There were _so_ many people here. She went about asking everyone she saw if they had heard of Fergus Cousland. When nobody knew him, she had started asking if they knew where any other surviving soldiers had ended up. Here, in this village or north to Denerim with Loghain were the only answers they gave. Loghain had apparently taken Lothering's soldiers north with him. Worse still, the bastard had proclaimed the Grey Wardens the king's murderers and traitors to Ferelden.

One soldier had talked about a mage on the battlefield, one who had put up a great shining barrier across the width of the valley and singlehandedly held back the horde while soldiers fled. The way he described it, a great shimming blue wall, had made Arietta instantly think of Neri. Arietta had seen her barriers in action, briefly. Maybe it had been her, Arietta certainly liked that idea-that Neri had died saving as many people as she could… but there had been a lot of mages at Ostagar; it could easily have been any number of them.

"Excuse me," a feminine voice suddenly said from Arietta's side. She looked at the young woman with a tilt of her head. Garnet eyes, big, crinkled with worry but alight with hope and framed by thick dark hair stared at her. "Some men said you arrived in the village today."

"That's right," Arietta said, letting her gaze flicker down the girl's thin frame. She was wearing a dress or a robe, Arietta supposed, laced with chainmail and had a red scarf tied around her pale neck. "My companions and I were at Ostagar."

The girl bit her lip briefly. "…I don't suppose you saw anyone else on the road, did you?"

Arietta smiled sympathetically. "I'm sorry, but no." The girl visibly slumped. "Who are you waiting for?" she asked.

The girl's hands wrung together in front of her and she sighed heavily. "My brothers. It's been days…" She ran a hand through her hair, eyes looking wet. "People flooded to the village the first couple of days, but slowly less and less have been arriving each day. And those that have arrived the past couple of days, have done so badly injured."

Arietta swallowed, nodding in understanding. "I'm looking for my brother too," she said. "I haven't found him, not sure I will. Hard as it is…I know I can't stay here waiting and hoping. I have to leave, and you should too. It won't be long until the horde is here."

The girl sniffed loudly. "I know…I just-"

"If your brothers are anything like my brother, they'd want you to live."

The girl nodded reluctantly.

"Tell you what. Why don't we both keep an eye out for one another's brothers?" Arietta smiled softly. "My name's Arietta, my brother is Fergus. He's got dark brown hair, darker than mine, and green-blue eyes, like the sea."

"I'm Bethany," the girl said, smiling. "I'll keep my eyes peeled for someone matching that description. My brother's names are Theo and Carver. Theo's tall and slender, a rogue with thick messy hair on his head and face. His eyes are a bit like mine, but brighter and he always wears a red scarf, just like mine too. Carver is tall and broad, he has icy blue eyes and is almost always frowning," she said, smiling fondly.

"I'll keep an eye out for them," Arietta promised. She glanced up at the sky, realising it had nearly been an hour. "I have to go now, Bethany. I wish you all the best. And remember what I said. Leave, soon."

"I will and thank you."

At first, Arietta didn't even _see_ Alistair because of the huge grey bulk that was standing in front of him. A qunari, she realised. She'd never actually met one before and here one was just casually standing with the rest of her companions. She noticed another new face as well, a petite woman with hair as orange as carrots. Her robed armour had the blazing sun of the Chantry sewn into it in golden thread and Arietta found herself increasingly curious as she approached them all.

"I see we made new friends," she said cautiously to Alistair. Morrigan was standing near him, arms crossed and looking bored. Alistair smiled at her a little sheepishly.

"Yes… well, we need all the help we can get, right?" he said.

"That's definitely true," she admitted.

"I am Sister Leliana," the red-head said, her Orlesian accent thick but pleasant. "I am coming with you to fight the darkspawn." Arietta opened her mouth and closed it again, uncertain what to say.

"Now, now," Morrigan said, "do not forget the part in your story where the Maker spoke to you and told you to aid the Grey Wardens." It was impossible not to hear the mocking drawl in which Morrigan spoke and Arietta raised an eyebrow at them all.

Leliana blushed a bit. "It was a vision. I know how that sounds, but it's true. He wants me to help you, to help prevent this darkness from consuming all of Ferelden." She stepped forward, pushing a strand of her red hair away from her face. "Your companions were sceptical too so I helped them free the Qunari from his cage. Every little helps, right?"

"You… freed the Qunari from his cage?" Arietta asked, glancing briefly at the silent qunari.

"Yes, I know the Mother at the Chantry," Leliana explained. "She was happy to release him into Grey Warden custody."

"Why was he caged at all?"

"I murdered a family," the qunari said.

Arietta stared at Alistair. "Don't look at me! It wasn't my idea," he said quickly. She glanced at Morrigan instead and the witch rolled her eyes.

"Such a barbaric punishment, leaving such a creature to starve or to be feasted on by the darkspawn," Morrigan argued. "T'would have been a waste. I merely suggested freeing him rather than leaving him to such a fate. T'was this one who got it into her head that he could _also_ aid us."

"He will," Leliana promised. "He's already said as much."

"Is that correct?" Arietta asked as she stared up at the qunari's strange purple eyes.

"Yes," the qunari grunted. "I will stop the Blight with you."

"And you're not going to murder any of us?"

His lip curled and he shook his head. "Unlikely."

"Right…" Arietta said. "Well, I've heard legends of the qunari's fighting prowess. If you truly want to use such skill against the darkspawn, I shan't stop you."

"Good. Let us be off then."

"What do I call you?"

"I am Sten of the Beressad."

"Alright, Sten, I'm Arietta."

He grunted in reply and started walking toward the exit. Arietta fell into step with Alistair.

"I take it you didn't have any luck with Fergus?" he asked.

"None. I heard a few things about a mage that might have been Neri, though."

"The barrier, right?"

"Yes."

"If that was her, she may have saved a lot of lives," Alistair said.

Arietta nodded, smiling sadly. "I take it you heard that Loghain branded us traitors, too," she said.

His expression darkened. "I did. It's worse than that, he even left men here to keep an eye out for us and kill us. That's how I met Leliana. She stepped in and helped me fight them."

"That was good of her. I'm glad you're alright—maybe splitting up wasn't such a wise idea."

"We just have to be careful," he said. "There's something else, too. I bumped into an old friend; he had some worrying news about Arl Eamon."

She sighed. "What is it?"

"He's sick, apparently. I—I know we were planning on heading there soon anyway but if we could maybe make it our priority to get there sooner rather than later, I'd really appreciate that."

She put her hand on his shoulder. She knew how much Eamon meant to him; Duncan and Eamon seemed to be the two most important people in Alistair's life, and with Duncan dead…Eamon being ill must have him worried sick. "We'll get there as quickly as we can," she promised.

"Thank you."

"We should get as far from Lothering as possible before we're forced to make camp for the night," she announced to their group.

"Maker watch over all those people," Leliana whispered.

"I told as many as I could to leave," Arietta said. "We have to hope it is enough."

* * *

 

"Andraste's farting arse," Theo hissed, as he collapsed to the dirt for the sixth time that day.

"Let me carry you, brother," Carver insisted, also for the sixth time that day.

"We can't afford for neither of us being able to fight," Theo argued.

Theo's calf was a mess, a darkspawn sword had cut straight through it; he knew he was lucky it hadn't given him the Taint, but that didn't stop him complaining about it. He was the reason they were so slow in escaping the chaos of Ostagar. He was the reason they'd both probably die rather than make it back to mother and Bethany. He'd lost count of how many times he had told Carver to go on without him, but the stubborn idiot refused to leave him.

They'd been running non-stop for days now-or very fast walking, as was the more accurate descriptor. They were exhausted, hurt and hungry, but there hadn't been time to stop, for anything, not with them so far behind everyone else who had been able to flee. It had been days since they'd seen others on the road; everyone else was well ahead by now. Every time they stopped, Theo couldn't help but worry that he'd see the horde behind them, charging toward them just like they had at Ostagar.

It might have been Carver's idea to join the army, but it was Theo that had promised to get him home. He couldn't be the reason he didn't.

"Go," he urged again, even as Carver helped him back to his feet.

"No."

"You're a stubborn idiot."

"So are you—we've had this conversation like five times."

Theo let out a chuff of rueful laughter. "It doesn't make sense for us to _both_ die."

"Neither of us is going to die."

"Carver…"

"No, don't _Carver_ me."

"It's infected, not with the Taint, just a normal infection, but I have a fever. I can barely see straight…"

"Bethany can heal you," Carver said. "We just have to get to her." He started dragging him forward, one arm locked around Theo's back. Every step had pain tearing through his swollen calf and his vision continued to swim, but Carver remained a solid presence at his side.

"If she has any sense, her and mother will be long gone by now," Theo muttered breathlessly.

"And you know they're too stubborn to leave without us. So come on."

They didn't get very far before stopping again, although, for once, it wasn't because Theo had fallen flat on his face. Just ahead was a group of darkspawn, at least ten of them, and they had spotted Theo and Carver at exactly the same moment they saw them.

" _Fuck_."

"They've seen us," Carver said. "We have to fight."

"Alright." Theo scanned the group of darkspawn, trying to put a plan in place. "Warriors first. That hurlock with the two handed axe looks particularly nasty."

"Agreed."

"Leave the two archers to me," Theo said. "I might not be able to move around much but I should be able to focus enough to throw a few knives."

"Then we take out the rest together."

"If you knock them down, I can do the rest," Theo said, nodding.

Carver squeezed his shoulder and then he was charging in to the fray, running straight at that hurlock. Theo hobbled to the side of the path, getting the archers in sight. He blinked a few times, trying to clear his vision but it remained blurry. He had to at least try to take down the archers though; Carver's blade was already clashing with several of the darkspawn.

He pulled his knife out and thumbed it between his fingers, calming at the familiar weight. He lifted his arm, sucked in a deep breath, then loosed it. It got the archer right in the shoulder, slightly to the right of where he wanted it to go, but it was enough to stop the genlock from using its bow. It then drew a dagger and charged into the fight with Carver. Theo was too slow to stop it, so he focused on the last archer. That time his aim was better, adrenaline clearing his vision enough to get a clean shot. His knife landed in the darkspawn's throat and it fell to the ground, dead.

The bastard genlock rogue had managed to get behind Carver and was about to bury its dagger in his brother's back. Theo reacted on instinct, throwing two knives at once. One missed, but the other went straight into the genlock's spine and it crumpled to the ground, dead.

That got the attention of three of the darkspawn: three hurlocks, all well-armed. Theo gulped as he backed up, wanting to give himself some space to move. He drew his daggers and readied himself for the fight even if his chances of surviving this were slim at best.

That's when the air around them seemed to flicker. The three darkspawn that had been approaching Theo were suddenly thrown to the ground. He blinked in surprise at seeing them all toppled by what had felt like little more than a gust of wind, but he dared not waste the opportunity handed to him. He slit their throats before they could get back up. He was about to help his brother when the same thing happened again. The five darkspawn Carver had been fighting all went flying into the dirt. Just like with him; Carver looked surprised at first before he also took advantage and began finishing them off.

A mabari warhound suddenly appeared and helped Theo's brother, as it brutally savaged the neck of a darkspawn before its giant maw tore into the gut of another. Theo looked around, frowning, trying to figure out what was going on, and that's when he spotted her-an elven mage with long curly blonde hair; she was the one from the battle, he realised. Theo could hardly believe she was alive. She had been the one to put that barrier up, to save them all. She was the only reason Theo and Carver had gotten away at all. He had thought she was dead for sure; she should have been—the entire horde had been on the other side of that barrier. But here he was, staring right at her.

She looked a mess, with blood down her face, her robes torn to near-shreds, her hair a tangled muddy mess. Their eyes locked briefly, big brown almond shaped eyes with his own tired carnelian ones. And then her eyes closed and she fell forwards, into the dirt.

"Shit."

"Isn't that the mage from the battle?" Carver asked.

"Yes. We have to help her," Theo said. It was foolish, he knew, to carry her; it would only slow them down further. But she had just saved their lives, again. He couldn't just leave her.

They reached her and Theo rolled her over. Even through all the mud and blood caked to her face, he could see that she was pale and freckly and…pretty. She looked so young too, little older than Bethany and Carver. It was too young to see a battle like Ostagar and too young to die.

"I'll carry her," Theo said.

"Your leg, shouldn't I be the one to-"

"I'm already injured and unable to fight, you and her mabari can keep the way ahead clear for me."

"Fine, but warn me if you're gonna fall again."

The elf didn't weigh much; he was pretty sure Carver's sword was heavier, but that didn't mean it didn't put a strain on his bad leg. Still, Theo kept her cradled in his arms, her hair tickling his arm as the wind stirred it, his gaze locked on her shallowly rising and falling chest.

"We're all gonna make it out of this," he whispered to her. "We've come too far not to now."

"I don't think it's much further," Carver said. The mabari let out a loud yap, its tail wagging. "I think the dog agrees."

Sure enough, Theo started to notice familiar sights from their trek _to_ Ostagar. An odd looking rock here, a broken fence there. And then, as they rounded the next bend in the road, they saw it: the Imperial Highway. A relieved grin spread across Theo's face and Carver glanced at him, all smug and joyful.

"And you wanted me to leave you behind," he scoffed.

"Alright, in hindsight, that would have been extremely pathetic, but we didn't know back then how close we were."

Walking through Lothering felt surreal. It had been there home for years, so much had happened here. But he had never seen it like this—deserted. Despite it being early evening, nobody was in the market trying to haggle for a deal on food. Nobody was at the Chantry for prayers. Strangest of all was the empty tavern.

"This is so weird," Carver said.

"It's a good thing," Theo replied, "that so many have left, even if it is weird to see."

Carver nodded a little distractedly. "Not everyone's gone," he said nodding in the direction of a few houses with candles still flickering in the windows.

As they approached their house, they saw candles flickering in its windows too. "They waited," Theo said.

"Told you they would."

"Run ahead, get Bethany ready."

Carver nodded and jogged across the field toward their home. Theo could hardly believe they'd made it back, but they had, they'd done it. And they had the hero mage from the battle with them. He didn't really care much for the Maker, but he couldn't help but think that if his leg hadn't been so badly injured, that they never would have been slow enough for her to catch up with them. If they could keep her alive, having a mage this powerful with them could help them a lot in escaping the horde which was no doubt closing in fast on them all.

He limped in through the front door, spotting his mother filling a bucket with water in the kitchen, and Bethany and Carver setting up in the living room.

"It's good to see you, brother," Bethany said, smiling brightly. She looked so utterly relieved but she had put her 'work' face on already. "Put her down on the sofa."

He did so, carefully, and Bethany immediately got to work healing the young elf. Her hands flared a bright blue as the magic ebbed and flowed out from her fingertips. Bethany focused on the elf's head first, spending some time on a spot buried by matted hair.

"Darling," mother said, hugging him tightly. "I was so worried."

"I know, I'm sorry," he said, hugging her back and breathing in the familiar smell of baked bread—she'd been worry baking again, it seemed. He hissed in a breath a bit as pain shot up his leg and she immediately pulled back to look at him properly.

"And you're hurt," she said, eyes already glistening with tears.

"I am, but it can be looked at later."

"You'll let me look at it now," she said firmly. "I can clean it so it's easier for Bethany to heal later."

He sighed. "Fine." He moved to sit down on one of their chairs, leaving Carver and Bethany to tend to the elf.

He bit down on his tongue as his mother poked and prodded the wound and cleaned it up with liquid that might as well have been vinegar for the amount of pain it caused him. But he didn't want her to worry more than she needed to, so he kept as quiet as he could. He watched his siblings instead, watched them work on the elf. Bethany had moved from healing her head to focusing on a leg wound. Carver was now washing the elf's hair and face, cleaning off the muck to make sure there weren't other injuries under it they had missed.

Slowly, they took the elf's tattered robes off, covering her with a blanket to keep her decent. The elf's entire front was scratched up with cuts, scrapes and scabs but none of those wounds looked too deep. The deepest wound was definitely the gash on her thigh, just like with Theo's leg, it was infected and Bethany spent some time cleaning it, cutting away bad flesh and then pouring magic into it. Theo was actually a bit jealous of the elf for being unconscious for that; he wouldn't be so lucky, unless he passed out.

They rolled the elf over next, checking her back for injury and Bethany gasped. Even from his seat across from them, Theo could see the old scars that criss-crossed the elf's back. Those were scars from lashings. He scowled. As far as he could tell, she was a Circle mage—she wore their robes, even if they were ripped to shreds. Old injuries like that must have come from her time in the Tower. He swallowed thickly, that only cementing in his mind that protecting Bethany from the Templars was the right thing to do and worth _any_ cost.

Mother brought food and drink through for them all and started telling them everything they'd missed as Bethany and Carver finished up cleaning the elf. Most of it was bullshit—Loghain blaming the Wardens for the king's death, taking Lothering's soldiers to Denerim with him—but some of it was good, too—the elf had saved enough soldiers from the battle with her barrier that they'd organised those left in Lothering and had gotten them out of the village with hopes of reaching Amaranthine. The ones still here were either too old for travel or too stubborn to leave their homes.

He munched happily on some cheese and bread, more relieved than ever to be home. Mother and Bethany had packed several packs up for them all while they'd been away. They'd had plans to flee on the morrow, regardless of them returning or not. Theo found himself agreeing with that idea—if the elf wasn't awake tomorrow when they needed to go, they'd have no choice but to leave _her_ behind.

* * *

 

Arietta usually loved making plans. Fergus had often joked that she was a chronic-planner, but all the plans she made now felt like ash in her mouth. They continued to fail miserably, every single one of them. She had planned to get her family out of Highever, had instead left them to die. She had planned to get the king's help in bringing Howe to justice, instead he had died. Already their plans to get Arl Eamon's help seemed to have fallen apart if the rumours of his sickness were true. It all seemed so completely hopeless. That wouldn't make her give up—they had to keep trying—but she just couldn't keep hoping for the best, only for things to go horribly wrong. It was just too disappointing.

Naturally, she was only thinking about any of this because she was on watch. They had set up camp near a stream on the edge of some woods. It was an hour or two from Lothering and they had plans to move again at first light. Two dwarves, Bodahn and Sandal, had joined their ranks since Lothering; they were travelling merchants. They had a caravan with them, pulled by two ponies. It wasn't much, but it would certainly be nice to have somewhere to put some of their heavier equipment while on the road. For keeping them safe on their travels, they got a discount in return, which was incredibly useful. They were over on the far edge of the camp, happily keeping to themselves, much like Morrigan who Arietta was pretty sure had changed into a bird not so long ago to avoid them all. Alistair was in his tent, Sten was lying on the ground without so much as a pillow for comfort, and Leliana was sitting on her bedroll, playing a few strings of her lute.

It was oddly peaceful, a striking difference to Ostagar or Lothering but it reminded of her journey south with Neri and Duncan and she couldn't help but frown at that. It easily could have been Neri in Arietta's place, with Neri tasked with lighting the beacon and Arietta tasked with protecting the king. She'd be dead and Neri would be alive, as it was, Arietta knew she would need to go to the Circle at some point to inform the elf's friends of what happened. She'd decided, even if it wasn't the truth, that she'd tell them Neri was the mage with the barrier that had saved so many. Let them think her a hero rather than the mage that let the king die.

Maybe others would hear about it too. She hoped their warnings to the people of Lothering had been heard; they'd all been telling them to flee. Arietta had suggested Amaranthine to a few; Alistair had said Redcliffe to others. It didn't matter where those people went as long as it was in the general direction of north. But there was no point worrying about that now—there was nothing more they could do for those people except stop the Blight.

"You look worried," Leliana said, her voice soft and filled with concern.

Arietta had only spoken with her a little on their walk away from Lothering. She was suspicious of the sister's ability to fight so well with both daggers and the bow. Leliana claimed they were skills learnt travelling when she was a minstrel, but Arietta was less certain. She knew from her own experiences that you didn't get _that_ good without a lot of practice.

"I am," Arietta admitted. "About the Blight, about the people it's affecting, about the people it has already taken…"

"It would be foolish to think we can save everyone, but we can try, yes?"

"Try being the operative word."

Leliana moved closer to her, blue eyes the colour of lake water stared at her. "This Loghain, he would have had you all killed and spun any story he pleased. Do you know why he wanted such a thing?"

"So we couldn't prove him wrong. So we couldn't gather an army against him…"

"Those things are most definitely part of it," the sister agreed, nodding, "but it is because you bring hope to people."

Arietta frowned at her. "He has told people the Wardens are responsible for the king's death, I hardly think we bring anything but anger and resentment now."

"That is simply not true; I was in Lothering much longer than you. I saw what the people said, what they really thought. Very few believed Loghain's lies. Too many survived Ostagar for that to be the case. Your Order is still known for ending Blights when no-one else could. The more people the darkspawn displace, the stronger your following will be. Every good deed you do spreads a little more hope. And hope is a powerful thing. Don't you see? _That_ is your greatest weapon against Loghain. He knows this. He knows with that you can build an army, gather support, and turn even his own men against him. That is why he wanted you killed, for as long as the Wardens are dead, the people will lose all hope and instead have to rely on Loghain to save them."

"Maybe," she admitted. "We haven't done much of anything yet, though."

"No, but you will," Leliana said happily.

"You're so certain of that."

"The Maker showed me that you would."

"What if you're wrong about that?"

"Let us hope I am not, yes?" Leliana said, suddenly a little stiff.

Arietta sighed and ran both her hands through her hair. "Will you pray with me, Leliana? I haven't for a while…I hadn't felt like the Maker was listening at all. But maybe you're right; maybe I shouldn't lose hope entirely."

Leliana smiled. "Of course."

That night, after Arietta had finally managed to wake Alistair from his deep sleep with a kick to his foot, she had finally crawled into her tent and _slept_. No nightmares, no troublesome thoughts, no plotting and planning and strategizing, just sleep. And it was wonderful.


	9. Breakfast

She hummed appreciatively as the smell of bacon and eggs filled her nose and the fogginess of sleep dissipated at the welcoming aroma. It had been years since she'd eaten a fry up. Her mouth began to water at the thought of it. The Circle only ever fed them stews with a mystery meat inside, which more often than not was just pigeon. She opened her eyes; she was in a warm bed snuggled under the blankets. She raised her arm to her head; a thick bandage was wrapped around her skull. She realised her head no longer felt like an ogre was stomping on it and her leg had fully healed too. Barkspawn padded over to her and nuzzled her hand.

She stroked his head. "It's good to see you too, boy."

"Hello," a stranger's voice said. She looked up to see a man entering the room. He had black hair and green eyes, and stubble that framed his perfectly sculpted jaw. His arms were toned with a sprinkling of dark hair on his forearms. Her breath hitched as she ran her eyes down his very bare, very muscled thighs.

"Mmm," she hummed, before shaking her head. "I mean, hi."

"Figured you could use a drink." He passed her a glass of water, a smile crinkling at the corners of his mouth.

"Thanks." She drank greedily.

His lip curled into a smile. "How are you feeling?"

"Much better, thank you." She glanced around trying to figure out where she was.

The room was lightly furnished; she was lying on a small bed in the corner of the room, fur blankets piled over her, to her left was a small bedside table, a vase of daffodils in the centre, across from her was a wardrobe and long mirror.

He cleared his throat. "You're in my house, in Lothering," he clarified.

She nodded and her eyebrows knitted together. "What happened exactly?"

"You saved my brother, Carver and I, from some darkspawn. You collapsed and I carried you here where my sister, Bethany, healed you."

"Ahh, my knight in shining armour." She grinned.

She vaguely remembered seeing two men fighting darkspawn on the road.

"I do try." He smirked at her. "But it was the least we could do; you saved our lives twice."

She craned her head to the side. "Twice?"

"The first time was that barrier of yours at Ostagar," he said softly.

"Oh,  _that_ ," she said with a chuckle.

He sat down on the bed beside her; his body was so  _warm_ , and she could feel his heat through the thick blankets. "I've never seen anyone do something like that. It was  _incredible_ ," he said, as he stared intently at her. That made her blush. She wasn't really sure how she had done it. Adrenaline and blood lust mixed with a lot of desperation had apparently made her a very powerful mage. "Oh, I'm Hawke by the way." He gave her a lopsided smile.

 _What an unusual name_. "I'm Neria."

"Nice to meet you." He stared at her with his big green eyes.

That look made her feel very self-conscious and very hot. She looked down away from his burning gaze, suddenly realising how little she was wearing, just panties and a bra, the blanket only just covered her.

"Where are my robes?" she asked, hugging herself.

"Oh, I err had to cut them off." He rubbed his neck. Her ears were definitely turning red now too. He reached down and pulled out some clothes from under the bed. "These are for you," he said, handing them to her.

"Thanks."

They were a strange style of robe, shorter than her Circle ones had been. They were a grey colour with fur shoulders, very low-cut and decorated with blue and yellow trimmings. She liked them immediately.

"There's this too, for warmth," he said, passing her a thick hooded cloak. It was black, laced with dark blue.

"You just happen to have mage robes lying around?" She smirked.

"Aha." His cheeks reddened. "Well, you never know when an injured mage might come over for tea." He stood. "Speaking of which, food's ready if you want some. I'll let you get dressed." He turned. Her stare lingered on his back before he disappeared out of the room. She scolded herself. Now  _really_  was not the time to be admiring handsome soldiers.

She took off her bandage and examined her head; there was a tiny pink scar but otherwise no sign of her fractured skull remained. Hawke's sister was definitely a mage. She slipped on the robes and her boots and spun around in the mirror. She had never seen herself in something so revealing; she looked like a real woman now. She grinned to herself. She wasn't a helpless apprentice any more. She was a Grey Warden.  _I just hope I'm not the last one._  Arietta and Alistair hadn't been at the battle; maybe they escaped? She would look for them; maybe they were even in Lothering.

She walked downstairs. Hawke grinned at her. "You clean up great."

"Oh stop. You'll make me blush." She laughed.

"Neria, this is Carver and Bethany and my mother, Leandra," he said, pointing at the three smiling faces stood around the kitchen.

Carver was tall and much broader than Hawke; she recalled him swinging a greatsword on the road. His hair was a lighter brown than his brother's and his eyes a crystal blue. Bethany was very pretty; her brown hair fell around her shoulders in soft waves. Leandra had grey hair, which was tied back in a loose ponytail. She looked so pristine; Neri would have pegged her as a noble if it weren't for her current living arrangements.

She nodded her head and smiled at them. "Thank you for looking after me."

"Are you hungry my dear?" Leandra said politely.

Barkspawn barked next to her, jumping up and down. She smiled down at him before looking back up. " _Starving_."

She moaned as she bit into a mouthful of crispy bacon and gooey egg yolk.  _Maker_  she had forgotten what real food tasted like.

They laughed. "Been a while since you had a fry up?" Hawke asked.

"I was six the last time I had something like this," she said as she took another mouthful.

"You were a circle mage then?" Bethany asked.

"Yeah. Grew up here in Lothering though. Saved a templar from a bear and got shipped off to the tower as a reward," she said dryly.

Hawke gasped. "I remember you." She frowned. "I met you once in the market, my father bought you bread."

 _Green eyes and dark hair, like the man's._ "I remember. You pointed out that I was an elf," she scoffed.

He snorted. "Sorry about that." He flashed her a grin.

"Your name... he called you something other than Hawke?"

Hawke blew a stray hair out of his face, before ruffling his thick locks. "Garrett. Very few people call me that though."

She nodded. "Your father...he's not..."

"He passed away a few years ago," Carver said, as he handed Barkspawn some bacon under the table.

That was a shame; she obviously didn't know the man very well, but he had been kind to her that day.

"The story of how you stopped that bear was the talk of Lothering for weeks," Bethany said, changing the topic. "Did you know you were a mage before that moment?"

"Nope. I've always been a bit... impulsive though, and Ser Harrison was a good man."

"He moved to Denerim, I think," Bethany added, as she stroked the Mabari.

That wasn't surprising. "He always wanted to go there." She smiled. "Tell me, what has Loghain said since the battle?"

"He claims the Grey Wardens betrayed the King," Leandra said as she sipped her tea.

Neri clenched her fists. They would have been a convenient scapegoat had she not survived. She knew the truth and Loghain would pay for his treason.

"He took Lothering's knight's north with him a few days ago," Bethany explained tautly.

 _That son of a bitch_. The betrayal had been hard enough but leaving this village completely defenceless was heartless. "Damn him," she cursed, and stood from the table, no longer hungry, and paced the room.

"You okay?" Hawke queried.

"No." She exhaled. "I'm a Grey Warden. Maybe the last now," she said sadly.

Hawkes shoulders sagged. "I'm so sorry."

"Some might still be alive; finding them could be hard though." She sighed. "If they're smart, they'll keep a low profile. No doubt there's a bounty on Grey Warden heads now."

_They'd avoid Denerim. Maybe get a treaty instead..._

Hawke seemed to consider this for a moment. "And if they  _are_  dead?" he asked, craning his head to the side.

"I– I don't know...," she said bleakly. If she was alone she didn't like her chances; one elf against an entire horde of darkspawn and a grumpy dragon did not sound too great.

"You could come with us?" Bethany said, her face bright.

Neri frowned. Leave Ferelden? No, she couldn't do that… could she? Nobody would come after her... everyone assumed she was dead along with the other Grey Wardens. She could start a new life, free from templars and the Chantry, free from everything.

 _'Come with me, Neri'_  Anders' voice echoed in her mind. He had wanted her to flee with him, away from the Circle. He asked her every time, just before he escaped again. She always said no. It was to protect him; if they both left, Ser Albert would punish Anders. She didn't need to protect him any more though. But she was a Grey Warden now... It was her job to stop the Blight, to protect people from the darkspawn. How could she flee when so many were relying on her?

"I can't leave with you. Someone needs to kill all these darkspawn," she said light-heartedly.

Hawke looked sad for a moment and then he leapt to his feet clapping his hands together loudly. "Alright, we need to get a move on; the darkspawn could be upon us any moment now. I'll pack you a bag Neria," Hawke said as he walked into the kitchen.

She followed.

Hawke started rummaging through the cupboards packing little pouches of herbs and other supplies. "Where do you think you will go?" she asked him.

He glanced at her briefly before picking up a few bottles and placing them in the pack. "Mother has family in Kirkwall. I think we might try to flee there."

"There are a lot of templars in Kirkwall..." The Circle tower there had once been a prison and by the sounds of it, still was. "Bethany won't be safe there, Hawke."

He looked at her worriedly. "I know. Our uncle is nobility though; it should help keep her safe," he explained. Ah so his mother  _was_  a noble. "Can I ask you something?" He looked at her intensely.

She straightened and looked up into his big green eyes. "Of course." She could feel the butterflies dancing in her stomach at the stare burning through her.

He bit his lip before speaking "The scars on your back...," he said quietly. A shiver ran down her spine, he must have seen them when they healed her. "They don't look recent; are they from the Circle?"

She nodded. "If you care about Bethany at all Garrett, don't let the Templars  _ever_  catch her."

He nodded his head firmly. "I won't."


	10. Escape

A scream interrupted their packing. "It's the darkspawn!" Bethany cried. Neri looked out the kitchen window; sure enough, the horde was racing across the field. Parts of the village were already on fire.  _Shit._

"Out the back! Now," Hawke ordered.

They ran across the fields, heading north. The sky was filling with smoke behind them; her childhood home, burning to the ground. She could feel the darkspawn scratching at her mind.

"Darkspawn!" she cried, as three hurlocks emerged through the trees.

Bethany set them on fire and Neri lifted them into the air then slammed them back down.

"How did you know they were there?" Hawke asked catching his breath.

"Grey Wardens can sense them... No time to talk." She led them forward.

They reached the top of a hill; they could see all of Lothering from it, but that's not what caught their eye. The darkspawn were everywhere; they must have surrounded the entire village. There was no way through them to the north.  _Fuck_.

"What do we do now?" Carver said, fear creeping into his voice.

"Maker, we've lost it all. Everything your father and I built..." Leandra sobbed.

"Standing still isn't going to solve anything," Hawke said. "Neria, any ideas?"

Going back the way they came was no good and the horde was north, which left south or west. "I think running that way is our best option." She pointed west.

They climbed over another hill. A woman with ginger hair barrelled into a hurlock and punched it in the face.

"You will not have him!" she yelled as she slit its throat with her sword.

 _Damn_.

Hawke charged in, his daggers drawn. He was strong and his attacks fast; he'd killed three darkspawn before Neri had even cast her first spell. She lifted up the remaining darkspawn and tossed them off the cliff. The woman was helping a templar to his feet as they walked over to them. He looked injured.

The templar hobbled forward. "Apostates! Keep your distance." He eyed Neri and Bethany.

She rolled her eyes at him.

Bethany rested her hand on her hip. "Well the Maker certainly has a sense of humour, darkspawn and now a Templar," she drawled.

"The spawn are clear in their intent but mages are always unknown...," he said. "The Order dictates...," he struggled with his words.

"Wesley..." The woman said.

"The Order dictates..."

 _Wow_  this guy really was devout. Hawke stepped in front of Bethany, his hands on his daggers.

"They saved us dear; the Maker understands," the woman spoke calmly.

"Of course." The templar backed down.

"I am Aveline Vallen, this is my husband Ser Wesley. We can hate each other when we're safe from the horde."

"A fantastic idea. We really should get moving," Neri said.

Every path they took led them into another group of darkspawn. They worked well together to cut through them though. But they were all getting weary now. They walked up a path out onto a clearing. They were heading south, deeper into the Wilds. Not ideal; Neri wanted to be heading North West, toward the Circle tower, but there were too many darkspawn elsewhere.

The ground beneath their feet began to shake. "OGRE!" Neri warned.

Sure enough it barrelled into the clearing, roaring and spraying saliva everywhere. Before it could attack, Neri threw it backward with her magic. She would  **not**  fail to protect this group of people; she sure as hell wouldn't lose anyone to another fucking ogre. Aveline and Barkspawn were tearing into the ogre's legs and arms. It roared in pain, throwing them off. Bethany sent a fireball hurtling toward it.

More darkspawn joined the fight. "Hawke, Carver, deal with them," Neri ordered as she put a crushing prison on the ogre.

It struggled against her hold but she kept squeezing. Bethany froze it in place and Aveline plunged her sword into its chest. Neri could feel it weakening. She scanned the battlefield, more darkspawn were running up the pathways, she put down glyphs of paralysis to try to slow them down. Carver charged back over, jumping into the air and slicing the ogre's neck. Blood sprayed everywhere and the ogre fell to its knees. It gurgled before falling to the floor dead.

They were still surrounded. The darkspawn were scratching at her mind insistently. She tried to figure out the best way to run but every option seemed to be a bad one. The sound of wings above them drew their gaze. A massive dragon was sitting on the cliff, it roared loudly before swooping down, just missing them. It doused the darkspawn in flames. Within minutes they were all dead. The dragon began to transform, glowing golden. It shrunk down to reveal an old woman.

The woman began to speak. "Well, well, what have we here?" Neri gasped. She knew that voice. Wesley collapsed to the floor behind them. He did not look well at all. Hawke and Neri stepped forward. "It used to be we never got visitors to the wilds, but now it seems they arrive in hordes."

"I had such a wonderful time at that hut of yours, I thought I'd bring guests over for some afternoon tea. Hope that's okay?" Neri joked. This was Morrigan's mother, she was sure of it; the Witch of the Wilds Daveth had called her.

"Ha ha ha! Well this is a surprise. You are alive." Flemeth eyed her curiously.

"I am. Nice make-over by the way." Neri chuckled.

The Witch looked powerful now, wearing armour with her hair tied into horn shapes. She looked vastly different to the wrinkled old woman they had met in the Wilds.

"Aha! Your Grey Warden friends  _will_  be pleased," The Witch said, her eyes sparkling with glee.

Neri gasped. "They're alive!?"

"Why yes, I rescued them. We couldn't have all the Grey Wardens dying at once now could we?" She turned to leave.

"Wait, you can't just leave us here!" Bethany cried out.

"Can I not? I spotted the most curious sight: a mighty ogre, vanquished! Who could perform such a feat I wondered. But now my curiosity is sated, and you are safe, for the moment. Is that not enough?"

"Well, if you're gunna bugger off, could you at least teach me how to become a dragon first?" Neri smirked.

Hawke chuckled before speaking. "We won't get through the darkspawn horde without help."

The witch seemed to consider them for a moment. "They will be everywhere soon. Where is it you plan to run too?" she asked.

"We need to get to Kirkwall in the Free Marches," Bethany said urgently.

"I see." She turned around, her grey hair flowing behind her back. "Hurtled into the chaos you fight... and the world will shake before you." She walked back over to them. "And what of you, Grey Warden? Will you flee? Or stay?"

"I'm staying. If I can find the others..." She smiled lopsidedly.

"How brave of you." She turned away from them again. "Is it fate or chance? I can never decide... I will help you." The Witch said.

"Are you sure it is wise to trust her? She is the Witch of the Wilds," Aveline said.

"Some call me that. Also Flemeth, Asha'bellanar, an 'old hag who talks too much'." Flemeth chuckled.

Hawke made a deal with her, Flemeth would take Hawke's group safely through the horde in exchange for him delivering an amulet to the Dalish elves outside of Kirkwall. Neri wasn't sure why she couldn't do that herself... She could  _fly_  after all.

"What about me then?" Neri asked.

Flemeth smiled at her with a wicked gleam in her eye. "I can give you safe passage too."

Neri cocked an eyebrow. "What? No deliveries for me to make or errands you want me to do?"

"No, not for you. You've done more than I expected already. There  _is_  another matter however..." Flemeth said looking at Wesley.

"No! Leave him alone." Aveline said adamantly.

Now that she was closer to him, she could feel it. He was sick with the taint. "I'm sorry Aveline, he's dying," Neri said softly.

Aveline glared at her. "You lie!"

"She's right Aveline. I can feel the corruption inside me." Wesley coughed.

"Is there anything we can do?" Hawke asked.

"The only cure I know of is to become a Grey Warden, but none of them know the ritual," Flemeth said glancing over at Neri.

"Heck, we didn't even know there was a ritual until the day before Ostagar." Neri shrugged.

Aveline ended up killing Wesley herself, putting him out of his misery. It was the merciful thing to do.

"Come and visit us in Kirkwall once you've ended the Blight. I'll have a fry up waiting for you." Hawke grinned as they said goodbye to one another.

"I might come for more than just the fry up." She winked. He laughed at that. "But seriously, be careful." She hugged him.

"You too. Punch Loghain in the face for me?"

"Will do." She grinned.


	11. United

The night was cold but at least the rain had stopped now. Alistair was desperately trying to light a fire; they were all hungry and wanted something warm in their bellies.

"Let me try, fool," Morrigan said, as she crouched down next to the pile of wood. Within seconds, flames flickered to life, lapping at the wood. "There, see. That's how you light a fire."

"You have magic; it's cheating. I could have done that. These sticks are just damp,  _soaking_  even," Alistair moaned back.

"Or you just lack the skill to start a simple fire; would not be surprising," Morrigan mocked.

They were camped in a clearing very familiar to Arietta. It was one Duncan used on their way south; there was a cool lake deep enough to soak in on the far side and the clearing was surrounded by beautiful willow trees. Their branches danced in the wind, swaying gently. She smiled at the memory of her and Duncan clashing blades through the branches, testing one another's metal while Neria cheered them on. He had won that fight, his experience beating her youth and agility. Her chest ached; they had lost a great man at Ostagar. They had lost many great men the last month or so. She started sharpening her daggers not wanting to dwell on the sadness of it all.

Alistair began throwing a bunch of ingredients in a pot, leaving them to boil over the fire.

Leliana peered into the pot. "What is that you're making?"

"Oh this?" Alistair beamed, "It's my speciality. It's a sort of stewy, brothy, soupy thing," he said with a chuckle.

Arietta laughed at that, if he couldn't identify what it was they were probably all going to die of food poisoning. Alistair noticed her laughing and smiled at her and her heart skipped a beat.

" _Ohh_ , sounds lovely," Leliana lied.

Alistair pouted. "Ouch, you'll hurt my feelings; I'm very sensitive about my cooking!"

Arietta's stomach rumbled. "I'm sure it'll be great; I'm so hungry I could eat a horse."

"That's the Grey Warden appetite talking," he mused.

She looked up at him. "The what?"

"All new recruits go through it." He shrugged a shoulder as he stirred his soupy, brothy stewy thing. "I would always sneak down into the pantry and steal food in the middle of the night. I thought I was starving!" He laughed.

She let out a small snort. "There's nothing new there. I did it all the time at Highever; my mother would catch me and shout at me, telling me I'd get fat." She chuckled.

"Well you certainly can't tell from your figure." Alistair said and she could feel her cheeks heating slightly.

"Well I wish I could get away with that; I just have to look at a cake and it goes straight to my hips." Commented Leliana.

"What is cake?" Sten queried.

"Wait, you don't have cake where you're from?" Arietta asked.

"No," the Qunari said bluntly.

"We'll have to remedy that. They're delicious. Especially the little cupcakes with butter icing." Leliana said blissfully.

"Well for now we're stuck with this," Alistair said, pouring his  _'_ food _'_  into bowls for them all.

"Thank you for cooking, Alistair." She shovelled the broth into her mouth. The meat was stringy and there wasn't a lot of flavour, but it was warm and filled her belly so she wolfed it down.

"More?" He smirked.

She  _was_  still hungry..."Yes please," she said shyly, her cheeks blushing slightly.

A dog barked from behind them, she turned to see a mabari running into their camp. She stood up, her brow knitting together in confusion. Blossom growled at the intruder, lowering her head. The other hound skipped over to them happily and sniffed Arietta's hand.

" _Another_ dog?" Morrigan groaned.

"I've never seen him before." Arietta shrugged. The hound ran back to the clearing entrance and barked a few more times, his little tail wagging frantically from side to side. They all gasped as a familiar looking elf stepped out from under the trees.

_Neria._

Arietta's face broke into a grin and she ran forward hugging her. "You're alive."

"What happened? Are you alone? How did you find us?" Alistair said quickly.

"I'm alone, sorry." She stared at them with her big brown eyes. "I couldn't— they didn't..."

"It's okay. We heard what happened." Arietta rubbed Neria's arm. "What happened to you?"

"Let's see, it involves Barkspawn here," Neria scratched the hound behind the ears, "two  _very_  muscled soldiers," she said with a smirk, "a comfy bed, eggs and bacon, and a dragon!"

"You named your mabari warhound Barkspawn?" Sten questioned first.

Neria glanced at their giant friend "Yup." She looked at Arietta. "Quite the group you've gathered..."

"Oh!" She smacked herself. "Sorry, this is Sten and this is Leliana and you know Morrigan." Neria nodded at them all in turn.

"Who were these  _very_  muscled soldiers then?" Leliana said with a playful smile.

Neri's face broke into a grin. "Hawke and his brother Carver. They had a sister, Bethany, and lived with their mother, Leandra, they healed me after the battle. They're heading to Kirkwall now. But yes, they were very... nice." She winked at Leliana.

"I'm surprised you didn't go with them," Arietta said.

She shrugged. "You'd miss me too much."

They all laughed.

"And the eggs and bacon?" Alistair asked.

Neri grinned. "I haven't had a fry up for twelve years; it was a damn good fry up too."

"And a dragon?" Arietta folded her arms, there was no way...

"Flemeth. Morrigan's mother. She flew over us, scorched a few darkspawn, and then promised us all safe passage."

"Seriously!?" They all looked to Morrigan and she just shrugged.

"She gave me these to give to you, Morrigan." Neria handed the witch a bag.

Morrigan took and peered inside letting out an audible groan. "More socks! I swear I will drown in the damn things."

"You can never have too many socks; I'm always losing mine!" Alistair chuckled.

"We even have dwarves?" Neria pointed toward Bodahn and Sandal.

Arietta smiled. "We need all the help we can get." She shrugged.

Neria grinned. "You won't hear any complaints from me."

"Want some food?" Arietta asked. Neria nodded and they sat down around the fire together.

Neria explained the battle as they ate. "He died bravely; a whirlwind of metal, slicing through countless darkspawn," she said wistfully, staring down at her food.

Cailan had been killed by an ogre and Neri and Duncan had battled the horde trying to buy the soldiers time to escape. It sounded incredible; Neria was extremely lucky to be alive.

"I take back what I said before. I can't do the no complaints thing," Neria said as she lifted up some food with her spoon then dropped it back into the bowl. "This food is awful, Alistair. It's the same shit the Circle fed us every fucking day," she moaned.

"Sorry it's not crispy bacon and gooey eggs; we're rather short of pigs and chickens at the moment!" Alistair said dramatically. "I did see some in Lothering but thought, no, we should probably buy the bandages instead. My mistake; next time I'll make sure we buy lots of  _live_  meat. We can all carry around a rabbit or two in our packs..." He looked at her pointedly.

"Alright!" Neri said raising her hands. "You've made your bloody point, man. The stew's lovely; thanks for cooking." She folded her arms and frowned down at her bowl.

"That's better. You're very welcome," he said smiling smugly; a little too chuffed with himself. He was such a goof-ball.

"So we're going to Redcliffe first?" Neria asked, as she played with her food, slyly handing some to Barkspawn.

"Yeah, it would do us good to get a strong political figure backing us. Others will listen to the Arl. He's sick so we need to figure out what's going on there first," Arietta explained.


	12. Secrets

They had set out early, after waking up from yet more darkspawn nightmares. The Archdemon was really trying to make his presence known. They were approaching Redcliffe when Alistair asked them to stop for a moment.

"I'm a bastard; my mother was a serving girl at Redcliffe castle," he blurted. "And she died when I was born. Arl Eamon took me in and raised me before I was sent to the Chantry," he said, rubbing his neck. "The reason he did that was because, well..." He cleared his throat. "My father was King Maric." Arietta's jaw hit the floor. "Which made King Cailan my half-brother, I suppose."

 _Maker_. She was getting whiplash from all these twists and turns.

"So you're not just a bastard, you're a  _royal_  bastard? Doesn't that make you heir to the throne?" Neria said from her side.

"Maker's Breath, I hope not. I don't think so; you don't think so do you? I'm a bastard and nobody even knows about me...," he said, panicking.

Arietta finally found her voice. "Why didn't you tell us sooner?"

"I would have told you but it never really meant anything to me. I was inconvenient. A possible threat to Cailan's rule and so they kept me secret." He ran a hand through his sandy hair. "Everyone who knew either resented me or coddled me. Even Duncan kept me out of the fighting because of it." He looked at Arietta with his hazel eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

She knew what that was like, her own father had kept her out of the thick of it; she was his baby girl. "It's okay. I just wasn't expecting  _that_ ," she reassured him.

"Can we just pretend like I'm still some nobody who was too lucky to die with the rest of the Grey Wardens?"

"And what does that make me?" Arietta asked.

"The reason why I say I was lucky," he said with a weak smile.

Arietta's cheeks blushed.

"Lead on,  _my Prince_ ," Neria japed.

"Oh, I can already tell I am going to regret this." He turned and walked down the hill.

* * *

Neri was sitting cross-legged in the Chantry. Finally able to just sit down and relax. She was exhausted from fleeing the darkspawn and heading north to search for the Grey Wardens. She hadn't been sleeping much either thanks to the darkspawn whispering in her mind. It was strange to be sat in a Chantry again and for once she was the one telling the story to the children instead of the other way around. She should hate the Chantry; they chained mages and were responsible for so much pain and suffering in her life. But she grew up in one and it was strangely comforting to be in one again now. Lothering's Chantry was gone, destroyed by the darkspawn, which made her feel a little sad. But it hadn't been her home for a long time. Staring in that mirror in Hawke's house, she realised something. She was a new person now. Her old life of the Chantry and Circle was over. She didn't have a collar around her neck anymore; she was free. Despite the colossal task ahead of them, she didn't feel scared. Not now that she was with the others.

She was sitting with a group of children. They were scared of the monsters that came down from the castle every night. Neri wasn't sure what these monsters were, but Arietta had agreed to defend the village tonight. They had spent all day preparing and persuading others to join the fight. It was an hour or so until sunset now. Neri always liked the children in the Circle, so she was happy to sit with them all now.

"The little girl was all alone, lost in the woods." She said, continuing her story. "She felt like she was wondering around in circles, no idea where she had been or where she needed to go. She sat down on a rock and began to cry." The children looked up at her with sad eyes. So many of them were orphans now or just plain scared about the attacks. "That's when the wolves had started circling her. She cowered in fear, there were so many of them and they had her surrounded." The children gasped. "Just when she thought they were going to eat her, a group of Knight's charged into the clearing, swords drawn. They chased away all the wolves and the little girl rejoiced for now she was safe." She said, smiling at them all.

"Are you like the Knights in the story?" one of the little boys asked.

Neri smiled. "We are. There's nothing to be afraid of anymore," she comforted them.

When Neri got up to get a drink, Leliana ambushed her. "You're very good with them." She said, smiling brightly, her big blue eyes glistening in the late afternoon sun filtering in through the stained glass.

Neri's ears flicked up at that. "Thanks."

She didn't know much about this Leliana; she was a Chantry sister who knew how to fight. Seemed a bit odd to Neri but if she wanted to help them with the Blight, who were they to turn her aside?

"Have you done this sort of thing before?" she asked, as she pushed her red hair away from her face.

Neri gave her a shrug. "I used to read to the children in the Circle. I always found reading helped to distract me; figured a good story would help the children here."

She smiled slowly, a wistful look in her eyes. "Books are wonderful things. Sometimes the oldest, strangest looking book has the best story to tell."

Neri smiled at her. "Would you like to tell them the next one?"

"Oh, I would love to," she squealed with excitement.

…

The sky was dark, the night still. Neria stood in front of the Chantry, ready for battle. She gripped her staff tighter.

"There!" a man shouted.

Sure enough, a walking corpse approached them, dripping wet from the lake. More emerged through the houses. The traps they had laid down seemed to be working; they were only coming out of one alley.

"Archers!" Neri yelled.

They fired arrows into the undead, but most kept walking. They felt no pain.

"Kill them all!" she ordered.

She flung a few of the undead into the sky before smashing them down onto the roof of a house.

"Barkspawn, go get them boy."

He charged in happily, tearing limbs off of the corpses. The undead had weapons of their own: swords, hammers, shields, tools, and kitchen ware too. The soldiers were parrying their blows, metal ringing out across the area. She had glyphs down around the Chantry doors. She would not let them past her.

One of the undead charged at her with a frying pan in its hand. She couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it. She ducked under its swing and then smacked it over the head with her staff before stabbing it with the bladed end. If she was any good with fire or lightning magic, she would have killed it with that and made some sort of pun about it frying to death, but alas she did not.

She swept her eyes across the whole area. A lot of the soldiers were hurt; some were dead on the ground now and still the undead poured out through the houses. She could count at least thirty. She sent another group flying backwards and others she crushed with her mind. Despite this, they were being overwhelmed.

"Get the Wardens," she urged a soldier; he sprinted up the hill.

Men were falling around her; most of them were so inexperienced. She couldn't decide if it was bravery or foolishness that had led them to fight at her side tonight. There was such a thin line between the two. It was like Ostagar all over again, death everywhere. The undead were almost as horrifying as the darkspawn, but were less brutal with their attacks. The darkspawn seemed to enjoy savaging their victims, playing with them before finishing them off.

One of the walking corpses took her by surprise, slamming into her. The breath was knocked out of her as she hit the ground and the undead started to claw at her face. She grabbed hold of its arms and struggled against it. She was so little and weak compared to it.

_Aren't I compared to everything though?_

She tried again to throw it off, but it was no use. She stared up at its face; there was a stubby piece of bone sticking out where its nose used to be replaced by two bloody holes and the right side of its face had been bashed in, turning its eye socket into black hole. Its skin was flaking off, turning a disgusting green colour. She shuddered every time it snapped its mouth shut just inches from her face. She could feel her heart in her chest, pounding away, her breathing became ragged. All she could feel was this thing pressing down on her, pinning her to the ground. She tried to think and move but couldn't. Barkspawn appeared and tore into the corpse's neck, causing congealed blood to splatter down onto her chest in a thick cold mess. She gagged and rolled to the side, throwing up on the Chantry steps as Barkspawn finished off the corpse. Her breathing started to return to normal.

"Good boy." She stroked the Mabari as she looked up and saw the Wardens fighting the corpses.

Morrigan blasted several with ice, freezing them; Sten smashed his sword into them causing them to shatter spectacularly. Leliana was crippling a lot of the corpses with arrows, slowing their movements down. Alistair and Arietta were fighting back to back. They moved gracefully together; Arietta flipped over Alistair's back and landed her daggers into the skull of a corpse as he smashed his shield into another. If Neri didn't know any better, she would have said they'd been fighting together for years. She forced herself back to her feet, wiping as much of the blood off as she could. She took a few deep breaths, checking the battlefield; one of the undead was pounding on the Chantry doors. She walked up to it, grabbed it and threw it to the floor before smashing her boot down on its skull. Less and less undead were appearing, their numbers finally dwindling. Arietta headed through the houses to check for stragglers while Alistair went back up the hill to check on the situation up there. For now, it looked like they had won.

…

The Arl's wife had come down from the castle in the morning and begged Bann Teagan to return with her. Neri didn't trust her and had said as much to her face. But in the end, they had agreed to send Teagan with her while they entered via the secret passage. They came out in the castle's dungeon. More corpses were ahead of them clawing at a cell door. Neri hit them with a blast of kinetic energy. Blossom and Barkspawn ran them down and killed them.

"Hello- Is someone there?"

The hair's on the back of her neck stood up. She knew that voice. She walked toward his cell.

"Jowan," she said icily.

It had been less than a month since his betrayal and since she tried to kill him.

_So much for my new life and new start._

He gasped. "Ne-Neri?"

She folded her arms across her chest. "Bet you never thought you'd see me again," she scoffed.

He looked down at his feet. "No, I didn't."

She cocked an eyebrow. "So you're the mage who poisoned Arl Eamon?"

That seemed odd. He might be a backstabbing idiot, but he wasn't a murderer.

"I am. I can explain though...," he said as his eyes darted around the rest of her group.

"This should be good." She smiled.

He walked toward the cell door. "Neri, please, I'll answer all of your questions, I swear. But I need to ask you something first..." He put his hands on the bars of the cell.

"You want to know about Lily." She sighed. "I have no answers for you. She was taken away."

He rubbed at his face. "Oh my poor Lily, she must hate me now.  _If_  she even lives. What have I done?" He buried his face in his hands.

He brought this on himself; he never should have turned to blood magic. "You betrayed us Jowan."

"I know. I am so sorry; I never meant to hurt anybody!"

As furious as she had been with him, she knew he was telling the truth. Jowan wasn't a monster. He had been her friend once.

"It's stuff like this that makes the Templars crack down harder on mages." She narrowed her eyes at him. "After everything... How could you turn to such magic?"

He closed his eyes and shook his head. "I know; I was a fool. I don't expect you to ever forgive me."

She decided to change the subject, they needed answers. "So what, you got bored in your cell and decided to raise a few corpses?"

"No— no, that wasn't me, I swear."

He explained how Loghain had hired him to poison the Arl. He was already imprisoned when the corpses started wondering around. He believed that Connor might be responsible; the boy was a mage and Jowan had only recently taught him the basics of magic theory. Jowan could give Jory a run for his money when it came to moaning about things. _I wonder who'd win the moan-off?_ She shook her head.  _That just sounds dirty._  Jowan started whining about wanting to help, to do the right thing for once. She actually felt sorry for him, almost. It was still his fault he was in this stupid situation.

"I'm sick of running; let me try to fix it any way I can," Jowan begged.

Arietta moved closer to the cell with her hands on her hips. "You mean let you out?"

"You can't seriously be considering letting a blood mage go free?" Alistair said.

"Why not? He wants to help, let him. There is no point leaving him caged in there like an animal." Morrigan said.

Arietta turned to look at Neri; she tilted her head to the side. "Neria he's your friend..."

Neri sighed. "We already have demons and corpses running around, why not a blood mage too?" She laughed. "He's telling the truth. Let him help," she said more seriously.

* * *

They made their way through the castle. Corpses attacked first and then the demons had started appearing. They were horrifying creatures and powerful too. Arietta could see why mages were feared so much; being able to summon these monsters at will could easily wipe out an entire village in a matter of hours.

Once inside the main hall, a very peculiar sight greeted them. Bann Teagan was back flipping in front of Isolde and a child who Ari presumed to be Connor. It quickly became clear that the terrible presence Isolde had mentioned  _was_  Connor. He was possessed by a demon and  _he_  was controlling Teagan. The demon made Teagan fight their group while Connor ran away, apparently scared of the fighting. He wasn't always possessed it seemed.

"He's just a little boy! Please, you can't kill him! There must be another way," Isolde pleaded.

They were discussing what to do with Connor. They couldn't let the demon carry on terrorising the castle and village but the alternative would mean killing Connor. Arietta didn't want to do that unless it was necessary. She was hoping Neria or Morrigan would offer some insight but they were both very quiet on the matter. That's when Jowan entered and offered another solution.

Jowan tugged at his robes nervously. "It would take a lot of life energy, all of it in fact. Like I said, it's not much of an option."

Arietta folded her arms. "It's not option at all. Blood magic solves nothing and I'm not sacrificing anyone to save Connor," she said stubbornly.

She started to feel nauseous; if she had to kill Connor... she wasn't sure she  _could_  do it. The death of a child always hit her harder than anything else, they were so young and innocent, and it seemed cruel for the Maker to take them from this world so early.

"There must be another way?" She ran a hand through her hair. "Anyone?"

Neria was chewing on her lip. "We just need more mages and lyrium to send someone into the fade." She let out a small sigh. "The Circle tower isn't far. We could ask them to help us, maybe." She shrugged.

"The Circle is a couple of days away though...," Alistair said, his voice barely masking his worry.

Neria glanced at him. "It is. But I think it's worth the risk. Leave Morrigan and Sten here with Jowan. If something happens while we are gone, Teagan and Isolde can decide what to do. Hopefully it won't come to that though."

She trusted the mages judgement. If they hurried, they might get lucky and make it back before anything else happened. "Alright; to the tower we go."


	13. Return

Neri's palms were sweating as they walked down the hill overlooking Lake Calenhad and the Circle tower. She noticed that there was a Templar at the docks instead of Kester, the ferryman. They walked down and greeted him.

"The tower is closed," the Templar said, dismissing them.

She recognised him as Carroll, a pointy faced Templar with a squeaky voice. Anders had put a smoke bomb in his armour once and Carroll had run around screaming like a little girl. They had laughed about it for hours until they got ratted out, and were put on cleaning duty for a month.

"We need to get across; this treaty compels the mages to help the Grey Wardens with the Blight," Arietta said serenely.

"Oooh, Grey Wardens are you? I've got a form in my back pocket that says I'm the Queen of Antiva," he mocked, laughing at them cruelly.

She had forgotten how much of a twat he could be;  _that's_  why they had chosen him to prank. " _Caroline_ , remember me?" she ridiculed.

He looked at her and scowled. "Hey! That's not my name," he whined. "What are  _you_  doing back here?" He folded his arms, and pushed his lip out in a pout.

"Like my companion said, we're Grey Wardens. We need to get to the tower,  _now_ ," she said harshly.

"Greagoir gave me orders, sorry, can't help you." He turned his head like a stroppy child.

She ran her eyes up and down his body. "That armour looks heavy," she commented.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "It is."

She twirled her hair in her finger. "Have you ever tried swimming in it?"

"What, no— why would I do that? I'd get water stuck in my boots!"

"Oh, how awful; wet socks are the worst!"

She lifted him up with her magic, and held him over the water.

He screamed. "Put me down!"

"Okay." She dropped him suddenly, his boots dropping into the icy water below.

He wailed, "On the docks, on the docks!"

"Will you take us across?" she said, lowering him some more.

"Yes! We'll go right now!"

She put him down and they all entered the boat. She was still smiling as he rowed them across; the Templars had no authority over her now. It felt good.

They climbed the steps into the tower and walked through the front door. Templars were running around, panicked; some were bleeding on the floor as others desperately tried to bandage them up.

"And I want two men stationed within sight of the doors at all times," Greagoir ordered. "Do not open the doors without my express consent, is that clear?" He sounded tired as he spoke. Something was very, very wrong.

"The doors are barred; are they keeping people out or in?" Alistair said.

Greagoir turned to face their group "Now we wait and pray."

Neria stepped forward "Knight Commander Greagoir." She nodded her head at him. She never thought she'd willingly come back here, at least not so soon after leaving.

"Neria," he huffed. "I did not expect you back here so soon."

"It's great to see you too," she said deadpan. "What's going on?"

"The tower is no longer under our control. Abominations and demons walk the halls. The Circle is lost."

"How did that happen!?" Her friends were in there, Sol, Finn, Titch,  _Anders_...

"I don't know; it all happened so quickly. When I saw we couldn't possibly fight them all, I ordered the retreat."

"And you just locked the doors!? You can't just leave them to die like that!" she hissed.  _Bloody coward._

"None could survive such horrors; there were too many of them." He paced up and down in the entranceway, rubbing at his temples.

"You're wrong. I'm going in."

She had to find her friends; she had to save them.

"If you do that, I will only reopen the doors for Irving himself. I have sent word to Denerim asking for reinforcements and the Rite of Annulment."

"You would butcher them all? Greagoir you fucker!" she spat.

"Calm it." Arietta warned. "Knight Commander, we will clear out the tower. If we bring you Irving, alive, you won't annul the Circle and we'll have your support against the Blight? This treaty compels the mages to help the Grey Wardens."

Greagoir agreed and they entered the tower.

She stormed into the apprentice quarters, fuming with Greagoir, but her anger dissipated as she walked into her old bedroom. Many of the bunk-beds had been toppled over. There was a body on the floor, a female mage, she recognised her but didn't know her name. She knelt down and closed her eyes out of respect.  _How could this happen?_  If she hadn't left when she did this could very well have been her lying on the floor dead.

"You okay Neria?" Arietta asked.

She pushed down her worries as she stood back up. "Yeah. I always said this place needed a bit of colour; the blood stains on the floor are a nice touch," she said sarcastically, as she walked out the door. She heard Arietta sigh from behind her.

They entered the next room; a massive rage demon was racing toward them. A blast of ice killed it. Neri turned to see Wynne standing with her staff in hand. The mage looked exhausted. There were others alive too; she recognised Petra and some of the children, all cowering off to the side. She  _knew_  there would be survivors.

"Neria!" Wynne said. "You're alive."

"As are you,  _just about_." Neri smirked.

Wynne kept her staff in hand, her brows knitted together. "What are you doing here?"

She snorted. "It's good to see you too, Wynne."

"We are Grey Wardens," Arietta explained. "We came seeking aid from the mages, but now, we're here to help. We have to find Irving before the Rite arrives," she explained in a soothing tone.

"Greagoir did send for it then?" Wynne sighed, staring down at the ground. "I thought he might. Despite the demons and abominations, we have survived, but if reinforcements come, we will not be able to stand against them."

Just another reason to hurry and clear this tower.

"What happened exactly?" Arietta asked.

"There was a revolt after the mages got back from Ostagar. Uldred tried to take over the Circle. As you can see, it didn't work out as he had planned. I will not lose the Circle. Let us go and find Irving at once."

Uldred. She knew him, vaguely. He was one of the senior mages. If her friends were dead because of him…

"Do you know if any of the others are safe...?" Neri asked, her ears low, she didn't want to hear her answer.

Wynne's mouth pressed together in a thin line. "I have not seen anyone else for some time now."

They would be okay; they were strong. And Anders was locked in his cell, serving out his year of solitary still.

Neria nodded. "Impressive barrier," she remarked, looking at the glowing blue wall in the doorway.

Wynne chuckled. "It is a small feat compared to what you did at Ostagar."

Her cheeks flushed. "You saw that then?"

"It was remarkable. We would not have escaped if it weren't for you. I am glad you are alive."

Wynne took down her barrier and they walked through into the rest of the tower. They were barely around the next corner before abominations attacked them. Seeing them face to face like this, the monsters that mages could so easily become themselves... it made her shiver. It was worse to think that these horrifying things could be people she knew. She flung one of them into a bookcase, knocking several tomes to the ground. The abomination exploded as she killed it, setting the books on fire and throwing her back. Leliana helped her to her feet and they pushed forward.

They needed to hurry. Alistair and Arietta charged in with the war hounds close behind while Wynne, Leliana, and Neri stayed back. They cleared the final room and then walked up the stairs. Unbelievably, Owain still stood outside the stock room.

"Please refrain from entering the stock room. It is a mess and I have not had time to clean it," he said dully.

"Well, that's no good," Neri mocked. She hated the Tranquil; he always creeped her out.

"Why are you just standing out here?" Alistair asked.

"I tried to leave but there was a barrier blocking the doorway so I returned to the stock room," he said in a monotone.

"Owain, you should have said something. I would have taken down the barrier for you," Wynne scolded.

Owain said he wanted the Circle to go back to normal and had hopes that Niall's plan would succeed. Apparently he had come to the stock room with a few others and had taken the Litany of Andralla. That was not a good sign. It protected people from mind domination. In other words, blood magic.

They had left Owain and carried on through the tower. Three blood mages attacked them, but Neri threw them to the ground and killed two of them. The last one begged for her life. "You made your choice." She growled down at her.

"You of all people know what the Templars are capable of. We wanted to change things. The blood magic was just a means to an end."

"Using blood magic just puts more fuel on the fire for Templars like Ser Albert to abuse us with! You make me sick!" She brought the blade of her staff down on her chest.

They found a few mages who had been hiding in closets and under beds and told them to run back toward the entrance, to Petra who was looking after the children. That gave her hope that her friends were alive. They were much stronger than some of the mages they had found. They continued to cut their way through hordes of demons and possessed dead things. It was repulsive and made her skin crawl. She wasn't a fan of templars, but it was clear just as many of them were dead as mages. One was under the control of a desire demon; they had no choice but to kill him. She had yet to find Cullen or any of the other's she was fond of. What the fuck had Uldred done? She was going to rip him in two for the chaos and slaughter he'd caused.

They were about half way up the tower now. They entered the central chamber and were immediately greeted by the stench of blood and death; it was so strong her eyes began to water. The room was covered in guts and bodily fluids; there were bodies on the floor. One looked like Niall but she couldn't see properly as there was a demon standing over his body.

It turned toward them "Oh look, visitors." It said with a muffled voice. The growths on its face impaired its speech. Its entire body was blood red and covered in stringy muscle fibres. "I'd entertain you, but there's too much effort involved." It said slowly.

_A Sloth demon then?_

"Fuck you," Neri snarled.

"How rude. Aren't you tired? Don't you want to just lie down..."

She could feel its magic intruding into her mind. The others were fighting it too.

"Can't... keep... eyes open..." Alistair struggled. "Someone pinch... me."

"I will not... listen to your lies." Leliana said cupping her hands over her ears.

Neri focused everything she had on shielding herself. Over the years, she had gotten very good at blocking bad things out. The sleepiness began to dissipate. But her companions were not so lucky. They dropped to the floor, unconscious.

"You missed me," she mocked.

"Ah, that  _is_  unfortunate."

It charged at her; she rolled to the side and hit it in the chest with her kinetic energy. It skidded backward across the floor. She lifted the demon up and threw it back down as hard as she could. Some of the growths on its chest burst, oozing red liquid. She tried not to gag. Its attacks were strong, but it was definitely weaker outside of the Fade and her barriers shrugged off most of the attacks. Her glyphs and crushing prisons weren't working though; the demon was too strong. She needed to whittle it down more. But it was pressing her hard.

It was definitely Niall on the floor too; his plan had obviously failed. It would be up to them now instead. She smashed an entire bookcase into the sloth demon, making it roar in pain. It chucked it off and ran toward her again. A blast of lightning hit her hard; her barrier broke and she was sent flying backward. Her entire body was in spasm as she struggled to stand up again. It was on her in seconds, lifting her up by her neck and pinning her against a pillar.

"You could have had such wonderful dreams." The Sloth demon said as it slammed her head into the pillar, over and over.

She was clawing at its fist but the grip around her neck was too tight. She couldn't think. Everything started to blur. Suddenly flames engulfed the demon; it wailed in pain and dropped her to the floor. She coughed and gasped for air, the room spinning as she tried to see what was happening. The Sloth demon fell to the floor revealing a familiar looking mage.

_Anders._

Everything faded to black.


	14. Horror

It had been easy.

That shocked her more than anything. How easily she had killed them all. The people she loved the people she respected. It hadn't mattered who they were. She killed them like they were bandits or darkspawn because she knew they were in the Fade. Shouldn't she have hesitated to kill her father and mother? To kill Duncan? They had all been there, happy. Telling her The Blight was over. They were eating dinner at Highever. She knew immediately how wrong that picture was so she cut them down like they were nothing to her.

She exhaled. There was no point dwelling on that. They still had a tower to clear out, mages to save. Neri had somehow resisted the Sloth demon's magic, remaining awake to fight it alone. She was unconscious with Wynne and this new mage, Anders, fussing over her. Anders was a scruffy looking man, dirty blonde hair and a fuzzy beard; he looked like he hadn't bathed for weeks. But he clearly cared about the elf; he hadn't left her side since Arietta and the others had woken up from the demon's nightmares. She wondered if there was something between him and Neria. Ari hadn't talked to her about relationships or any of that girly gossip stuff. They'd been a bit busy after all.

Finally the elf opened her eyes.

"Neri, you okay?" Anders questioned, clearly relieved she was awake.

" _Anders_." She smiled brightly. "How did you get out of your cell?"

He shrugged and smirked down at her. "I'm good at escaping."

Neri chuckled. "I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you're still in the tower. Outside world is thattaway." The elf pointed toward the door.

He stifled a laugh. "Petra told me you were here so I came after you."

"Thanks for saving my ass," Neria said, as he helped her up.

"After everything you've done for me...," he said, all the humour gone from his voice.

Neria frowned. "You don't owe me anything."

"How can you say that!?"

"Anders..." Neria glanced over at Arietta and the others. "Not here. Not now. We have to stop Uldred." She walked away from him. "How was the fade? Lovely as always?" Neria said to Arietta.

"My family were there, alive, Duncan too. So I killed them all," Arietta replied sullenly.

"What!? Just like that?" Alistair said, his eyes wide in shock.

"The Fade always twists memories," Neria said sadly. "You did well to see through the lies."

* * *

They made their way through the rest of the tower and it got more putrid and retched the higher they climbed with blood, guts, and disgusting pulsating growths covering the floor and walls. Anders stayed close to her side as they battled demons and abominations. It was good to see him again; she had missed him more than she realised. His touch, his voice, his presence. He was her best friend, her lover, but he was family too. Between his escapes and punishments, they hadn't seen each other very much over the past few years, but when they were together they were inseparable.

It's why Ser Albert had threatened and abused her. Love was a dangerous emotion to have in the Circle; it gave the templars too much power over you. Ser Albert had abused that power like no other. It was her own stupid fault for falling in love with Anders, of course. She had hoped to keep all of the abuse a secret from him. She hated seeing the guilt and pity in his eyes. She would need to discuss everything privately with him later; for now they had a job to do.

She explored Irving's office; it was strange seeing it trashed with papers and books all over the floor. She reached down to pick a few up. One of the tomes caught her eye. It was a Grimoire; the name on the front made her eyes bulge. It belonged to Flemeth. She thought about leaving it where it was, but Morrigan would probably be curious to see such a thing so she slid it into her pack.

They were nearly at the top of the tower now. Neri led the way through the next door. Cullen was standing behind an impressive looking barrier.

"This trick again? I know what you are; it won't work." He knelt. "I will stay strong."

The poor man must have been resisting demons and blood magic for days. "Don't you recognise me?" she asked.

"Only too well, how far they must have delved into my thoughts," he said rocking back and forth, every word a struggle. "Enough visions. If anything in you is human... kill me and stop this game." This was horrible. "You broke the others, but I will stay strong, for my sake, for theirs," he sobbed. "Sifting through my thoughts, tempting me with the one thing I always wanted but could never have..." Her cheeks flushed. "Using my shame against me, my ill-advised infatuation with her, a mage of all things."

 _Oh_ , this explained his nervousness all those times. She was certain she was turning the colour of beetroot. She gave Anders a nervous smile.

"Did you know?" Anders smirked.

"No," she scoffed, sinking to her knees in front of the Templar. "Cullen, it's really me. I came back."

"No! I won't listen to anything you say. Now be gone!" He said rising to his feet. "Still here? That usually works!" he panicked.

Neri rested her hand on the barrier. "Cullen, I'm sorry but I need to find Irving. Is he upstairs?"

"You cannot let them live. The noises coming from up there, they are too awful. They could all be possessed! You must end this, now!"

"Uldred will die, but I will not kill innocent mages unless I know they are lost."

"To ensure all blood mages and abominations are dead, you must kill everyone!" he insisted.

"You've been through a lot. I get it. But I'm not killing innocents because of 'what ifs' or maybe's."

He scoffed, looking at her disgusted. "Do what you will." He waved her away.

They climbed the steps to the Harrowing Chamber. She wasn't sure what she expected to see. Blood magic was always talked about in hushed tones; she knew what mages who used it were capable of. She had seen Jowan do it, but his magic was nothing compared to what she was witnessing now... A mage was on his knees in the middle of the chamber. Three abominations surrounded him, electrocuting him as he wailed in pain. Uldred lifted his arms and they stopped. He approached the mage and held his chin up. "Do you accept the gift that I offer?" The mage nodded and fell to the floor.

"No!" She screamed but Uldred and the abominations blasted him with more magic and the mage began to transform, screaming as he did so. His skin burst, the muscle ripping out from under it, blood and new tissue covered much of its body and claws ripped out the end of its fingers. She stared on in horror.

"You sick fuck, Uldred! You're fucking dead," she screamed as she flung him back into the wall.

The others charged in, attacking the abominations. Uldred stood back up, his own form shifting into a pride demon. Arietta had the Litany; that would help protect the other mages from such magic. She could see Irving, Solona, Titch, and Finn off to the side. They looked in bad shape. "Wynne, protect them." She pointed at the mages.

Arietta and Alistair were teamed up taking on some abominations; their dogs were attacking some walking corpses. Leliana was staying back and poking enemies with arrows, revealing their weak points.

Anders and Neri were taking on Uldred. The pride demon pounded its arms into the floor making her wobble. She slowed down time around its feet, making its movement slow and awkward. Anders hit it with electricity and she knocked it to the floor. It struggled back to its feet but Neri lifted it into the air and slammed it back down again and again.

"You always were an ugly son of a bitch, Uldred!" she shouted as she trapped it in a crushing prison. Anders blasted it with more ice and lightning.

The others were still battling endless waves of demons but seemed to be handling themselves. Neri slashed at the demon, leaving deep gashes in its chest. It broke free of her crushing prison and tried to grab her; she rolled under its arm and brought her staff up, stabbing it deep in its armpit. It hit her with a mana drain, making her feel sick momentarily until her reserves returned. It tried to possess Sol but Arietta used the Litany, protecting her. Uldred chased her around the room, clearly pissed off. She kept tripping him up or knocking him back. Slowly the demon's attacks slowed; it was tiring. She got in close and slashed at it with her staff again. She didn't move fast enough though; it grabbed her round the waist and lifted her into the air.

It started squeezing her; she was inches from its ugly face as it stared at her, laughing. Her staff fell from her arms. Her ribs began to crack, sharp pain piercing her lungs. She could hear Anders shouting from below. She felt the icy cold air spreading across the demons arm, freezing it. He couldn't squeeze her any tighter, but she was still stuck in its hand. She stared into the demons eyes one final time before setting her crushing prison on him, sending his body into spasm as she crushed him slowly.

"I said you were fucking dead," she growled, as her arms cut through the fade and grabbed hold of the demons arms. She pulled with all her strength and ripped the demon in half. She fell to the floor and cried out in agony. She could barely breathe but Anders was over her, his long fingers pressing down on her chest, his cool magic flowing through her. She let out a soft moan as her ribs healed, her breathing improving almost immediately.

Sol sank down next to her, holding her hand. She had dark rings under her eyes and her black hair was a tangled mess, but she was alive.

"I never thought I'd see you again!" Sol punched her in the arm. "That's for leaving without saying goodbye." Then she kissed her on her lips. "That's for coming back and saving us."

Neri laughed, and then moaned as her ribs were still sore.

"Take it easy," Anders said worriedly.

"Why  _are_  you back? Did you forget to bring a book with you or something?" Finn said with a weary smile.

"Well, it certainly wasn't because I missed your stupid face,  _Flora._ " She ginned.

He glared at her; he hated that nickname.

"It's damn good to see yah, Neri," Titch added.

They all walked down the stairs together, very slowly. They had all been through a lot. But Irving was alive, so the Circle was saved. Cullen was no longer a prisoner but he chose to walk ahead of everyone else. There had been so much hatred in his eyes earlier, now he just looked broken and scared. Arietta went off to talk to Greagoir some more, no doubt getting help for Connor and the Blight. But Neri had told them to go on ahead. She needed to speak to Anders before he went back to solitary.

She walked over to him. A couple of templars were guarding him and she nodded at them. They walked away. She took Anders down the curved corridors and into the apprentice quarters, back to their old bunk bed.

"Remember all the mischief we got up to in here? All the pranks we played?" She said, her eyes twinkling brightly.

He smiled sadly at her.

"Remember when we cast a sleeping spell on Sol and put her in bed with Titch? Her screams when she opened her eyes in the morning woke up the entire floor." She laughed; he just looked around the room numbly. Her shoulders sagged. "Anders?"

"Why aren't you mad at me?" he said suddenly.

"Well, give it time; we've only been back together for a couple of hours..." She chuckled.

"I mean it Neri; Ser Albert beat you to a bloody pulp, daily. He  _raped_  you. You miscarried because of that psychopath." He paced as he spoke. "And all because of  _me._  I couldn't even be there for you because I was locked in a cell! But you're acting like everything is okay."

He wasn't usually this blunt; being stuck in solitary after hearing about all of that must have eaten away at him.

She frowned and then grabbed his arm to stop his pacing. "It wasn't  _because_  of you," she growled staring up at him. "It was  **for**  you. I did it to protect you. It was my choice, Anders. So stop looking at me like I'm a damn victim." She pushed him hard.

"I don't understand; why protect me? Everything you went through..." He had a haunted look in his eyes.

"You know why." She stepped closer to him; he looked down at her.

She didn't want to say the words aloud; she felt too vulnerable to do that, but he knew. He kissed her on the lips, pushing her against the wall. His hands found her hair; he fisted a handful and she moaned against him. Her hands were running down his back, feeling every muscle, until she found his ass and squeezed. They fit together so perfectly. She needed this, needed him, to help wash away the stain of Albert's touch on her skin.

"That's enough, you two!" A templar shouted.

She groaned as they pulled away. "I'll see you in a few months, once you're out of solitary." She kissed him on the cheek before leaving.

"Neri, be careful out there," he said uneasily.

She would always say that to him before he escaped.

She smiled lopsidedly and replied with his line, "The danger's half the fun."


	15. Cheers

"Do these things usually take this long?" Arietta asked Wynne.

The Circle mage had decided to help them stop the Blight. Arieta was grateful for her help; they needed a healer in their group, especially with the amount of injuries everyone seemed to be receiving. Well, namely Neria. The elf was so squishy and she had a habit of taking on the biggest and strongest enemies by herself. The entire darkspawn horde... ogres, sloth and pride demons, and now she was in the Fade, battling demons trying to save Connor's life.

"It can take time. Neria is a powerful mage; she'll be fine," Wynne assured her.

"Won't the Fade try to trick her though? Like the Sloth demon's nightmares?" Arietta asked, as she crouched down next to Neria's unconscious body. The elf looked so calm and relaxed, and she was quiet for once, which was a blessing.

"It might. But that's what her Harrowing prepared her for." The sides of her mouth crinkled as she smiled.

"What happens if she dies in the Fade?" Arietta stood back up.

"She would become tranquil, like Owain from the stock room. As I said though, she is strong."

Arietta nodded, that didn't stop her from pacing though. "What's the story between her and that mage, Anders, then?" she asked, slightly curious. She'd never get a straight answer from Neria.

"That's not for me to say. They were close once; they seem to be still."

"Sorry, I wasn't looking for gossip; she just doesn't talk much, at least not about herself."

"She didn't always hide behind sarcasm. The Circle has soured her over the years. She needed thicker skin than most to get by. She has a good heart though. I am glad she found you, and the Grey Wardens when she did."

Irving walked back over. "Connor has awoken."

"That's excellent news," Wynne said smiling.

Neria began to wake up, she sat up slowly. "Where am I?" she said in a monotone voice.

Arietta sucked in air through her teeth. "Neri?" she whispered, fear creeping into her voice.

"That is my name." Her brown eyes were emotionless as she stood up.

Wynne and Irving looked at one another worriedly.

"Is she tranquil?" Arietta panicked.  _Maker._  What the hell happened? Could tranquility be reversed?

"Irving...," Wynne said sadly.

Irving frowned. "How did this happen?"

"I do not recall," Neri said, calmly.

"What do we do? You can fix this right?" Arietta asked desperately.

Neri burst out laughing and doubled over. "Shit, your faces." Tears streamed down her cheeks.

Arietta gasped. "You bitch!" She punched her in the shoulder.

"OW! Still sore here!" Neri grinned.

"That was a fucking awful thing to do! I thought you were tranquil!"

"Serves you right for talking about me while I'm stuck in the bloody Fade," Neria teased.

"Oh. You heard that?" Arietta could feel her cheeks flushing.

Neri folded her arms. "I did."

"Neria, you should never joke around with something as serious as tranquillity…," Irving scolded. "I trust everything went according to plan?"

"Yup. Demon is dead. Saw Arl Eamon too; he's pretty confused. I couldn't really get through to him to tell him what was happening. Got any food?"

…

"Cheers!" Arietta said, lifting her flagon to Alistair and the others.

They were back in the village, sat around a table in the tavern. Bella had set them up with free drinks as thanks for saving the village. Arl Eamon was still unconscious; whatever magic the demon had used to keep him alive still held. They had decided to rest up for a day or two before setting out again. They were planning to go to Denerim where they hoped to get a lead on the Urn of Sacred Ashes; the Urn could apparently heal any sickness. It was a long shot, even Arietta didn't think such a thing existed, but they needed the Arl to defeat Loghain, so she was willing to try just about anything.

"This is what alcohol tastes like?" Neria said, choking. "How do people drink enough to get drunk?" She frowned down at the brown liquid.

"The key is to ignore the taste the first few rounds. After that, you won't even notice it," Alistair explained, as he chugged another.

"I'll open the wine instead," Wynne suggested.

…

Everyone was beginning to get quite tipsy, Arietta included. It felt like it had been ages since she'd just sat down, with all the running around they'd been doing since arriving at Redcliffe. It was nice to enjoy a drink or two with everyone.

"I love stroking them! Whenever I see one I simply have to touch it," Leliana said with a giggle to Morrigan at the other end of the table.

Arietta wasn't really sure  _what_  they were talking about.

"You are delicious; why do you taunt me so?" Sten said, staring down at a cookie.

She hadn't been able to get any cake for him yet but she had introduced cookies to him instead. His sweet tooth was adorable.

"So, if you grew up in the Chantry have you never...," Neri slurred.

Alistair's cheeks were flushed from the drink, he smiled. "Never... Never what? Had a good pair of shoes? Never seen a basilisk? Ate jellied-ham? Have I never licked a lamp-post in winter?"

Arietta started giggling uncontrollably, he was so damn adorable.

"Sex! I mean sex," Neri squeaked.

"I myself never had the  _pleasure,"_ he said that last bit looking at Arietta, and her breath hitched. "What about the both of you, have you ever licked a lamp-post in winterrr?"

Neri snorted. "I've licked lamp posts and bed posts in winter, summer, autumn and sp-ring," she hiccupped.

Alistair turned to look at her. "No, I've never licked a lamp-post in winter," Arietta said timidly.

He smiled back at her.

"R-really?" Neri said turning to her, she shuffled closer, her drink slopping out of its glass. "But you're hot! You never fooled around with anyone!?"

"Nope." She took a long swig of her drink.

It was by choice, sort of. There had been interest, but she hadn't reciprocated it. She  _did_  want a husband and children one day, but she always believed that could wait. Now she was likely to die alone.

"You should have come to the Circle; everybody was kissing everybody." Neri winked at her.

"Everybody?" Alistair questioned.

"Oh yes. Circle life is BOOORING!" she said loudly. "We all had these  _moves_  to keep things interesting." She chuckled to herself.

What on earth did she mean by that? "What kind of  _moves_?" Arietta asked.

"Well, Anders had his electricity thing, Sol had her tongue twister, and Titch did this hot and cold thing with his hands..." Neri licked her lips.

"La-la-la, not listening!" Alistair said merrily.

Arietta blushed, that all sounded very... kinky. "What was  _your_  move?"

Neri grinned at her. "It's a secret." Then she leaned in close, her face inches from her own. "Maybe I'll show you some time?" Arietta's eyes bulged.

She cleared her throat and decided to head outside for some fresh air. It was a cold night, winter fast approaching. She cupped her hands and breathed hot air into them.

"Everything okay?" Alistair said from behind her.

"Mmm, just needed some fresh air." She smiled at him.

"I keep trying to figure out what Neria's move could be. I can only picture her throwing the other mages around and that doesn't sound very enjoyable. What do you think it is?"

"I have no idea. I'm sure she'd show you if you asked."

"I doubt it; she seemed more interested in showing you," he said smirking.

She glanced at him and smiled. "Too bad I don't swing that way then."

"That's good to know." He stood in front of her. "I wanted to thank you personally, for helping to save Connor."

"Well, I didn't do much; you should be thanking Neri."

"I have, but you made the choice to go to the tower. You chose to save the town. You're our leader..." He said reaching out to touch her arm. His hands were warm against her cold skin he pulled away but she could still feel the heat.  _I wonder if his whole body is that warm..._

She cleared her throat. "I'm glad I could help, really. It all turned out rather well." She gave him a smile as she tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Yes it did. Now we just need to save Arl Eamon." He fidgeted for a moment before speaking again. "I wanted to give you this." He handed her a rose.

She gasped. "It's beautiful, Alistair."

"I picked it in Lothering. I remember thinking how can something so beautiful exist in a place with so much despair and ugliness. I probably should have left it alone, but I couldn't. The darkspawn would have come and destroyed it."

She grinned up at him. "That's so sweet."

"I thought that I might give it to you. In a lot of ways I think the same thing when I look at you."

Despite the cold air she felt warm, his words filling her with happiness, or perhaps it was just the alcohol... "Thank you. That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me."

"I'm glad you like it. I know things have been hard for you recently and I thought I could say something; tell you what a rare and wonderful thing you are to find amidst all this darkness."  _Aawww._ Her heart started to flutter.

"OI love birds, we're heading back to the castle," Neria said behind them as she ran down the hill. "Woooo-Ah Fuck!" she said as she tripped over, landing flat on her face. "I'm okay!" Arietta and Alistair laughed as Neri got up and ran off toward the castle.


	16. Hanging.

"WAKEY WAKEY!" Arietta shouted.

The elf bolted upright. "Ahhh!" Neri said, cowering away from the light and the noise.

Arietta grinned at her. She deserved it; instead of going to bed last night, the elf had run around the castle singing a very  _unholy_  version of the chant.

"How's your head?"

Neri rubbed at her temples. "It would be fine if you weren't yelling."

"I'm not yelling," she mused. "So... remember much from last night?" She folded her arms and cocked her head to the side.

"Not really..." The elf squinted up at her.

"Nothing about a certain  _version_  of the Chant you were singing...?"

"OH! You mean, 'Here lies the penis, the well of all sperm. From these salmon waters doth life begin anew. Cum for me, child, and I shall embrace you..."

 _Ugh, I do not need to hear this again._  "That's quite enough."

"Oh but there's more!"

Arietta glared at her. "Mind telling me what you're doing in the Arl's study?"

Neri looked around; just realising she was slumped against his bookcase. "Hmm.  _That's_  a question for drunk me and she's not here right now."

"Drink this. It'll help." It was her brother's hangover cure. It tasted vile but it usually did the trick.

Neri took a sip and coughed. "This is worse than that piss poor beer we had last night!"

"Tough. Drink up. We're leaving in a few hours."

Neri downed it, her face scrunched up at the taste. She slammed the mug down on the floor. "Happy?"

"Very."

"Oooh," the elf said pulling something out of her pocket. It still amazed her how such a short robe could have so many pockets hidden away. "I found this last night." She handed her an amulet.

She frowned down at it. "Where did you find this?"

"Errrrr, in here? I think. I must have thought it was important if I pocketed it."

"It looks like the amulet Alistair described to me. It belonged to his mother, but he chucked it at a wall and it broke."

"You should give it to him." Neri gave her a slow sideways smile.

"I will." He would be very grateful to have this back; he regretted breaking it.

"You like him, don't yah?" the elf said, wiggling her eyebrows at Arietta.

"What?" She frowned.

"Ha, maybe you don't know it yet. But I can tell," she said smugly.

 _Was it that obvious?_  "How can you tell?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at her.

"Because I know what love is like," she said sadly.

This had something to do with that mage; they clearly both cared for one another a great deal.

"Anders?" Arietta asked. Neri nodded slowly. "What happened between the two of you?" she asked quietly.

"He's escaped six times," she explained, shaking her head. Neri's quip back at the tower about him escaping in the wrong direction suddenly made a lot of sense. "It makes the Templars look bad if their charges can escape that much." She smirked.

"One Templar, Ser Albert, realised that fear of punishment wasn't going to make Anders stay put. Freedom was just too good to resist. Instead, he used me to try to persuade Anders to stay. He knew. He fucking knew how much I cared for him. He threatened to hurt Anders, but I begged him not to. I took the beatings instead." She ran a hand through her hair.

Arietta swallowed thickly. "Couldn't you tell anyone?"

"I was scared. He was strong, a lot stronger than me. His fury was a terrible thing. He told me Anders would be beaten to a bloody pulp if I told anyone. So I kept it quiet. Kept it hidden. Nobody noticed because I was still making jokes and laughing with people." She shrugged.

"What about Anders? Surely telling him would have made him stay?"

"You should have seen the grin on his face every time they dragged him back to the tower. It was a look of pure joy. No matter what the Templars did, no matter how many times they caught him, those few hours or days or  _weeks_ outside were worth it. When you love someone, their happiness means everything to you. How could I tell him? I would replace the Templars as his jailer. I couldn't do that to him."

"What happened next?" Arietta prompted.

"After Anders' sixth escape everything changed. Albert didn't think I was trying hard enough." She took a shaky breath. "He raped me."

Arietta sunk to her knees in front of her. "Neri..."

"It happened more than once. It became  _normal."_ She laughed bitterly. "Then I miscarried. Everyone found out. Long story short, Albert got stripped of his rank and shipped off to Orlais. After everything he did to me, he still got to keep his life," she said, with tears filling her eyes.

"I am so sorry..."

She knew something bad had happened in the Circle... But to see her tell the story now was heart-breaking.

"I got used to shutting everything out. Not talking to people, hiding behind humour. I don't mean to do it; it's certainly not because I don't trust you. You're the closest thing I have to a family." She smiled as she rubbed the tears from her cheeks.

Arietta smiled at her. "It means a lot that you would trust me with this. Thank you for telling me."

She was about to hug her when Neri cleared her throat and stood up. "Don't we have a Blight to stop?"


	17. Trust.

"Oh thank the Maker! We need help," a woman said anxiously.

They were travelling toward Denerim; they had encountered many weary travellers fleeing from the darkspawn. Arietta wasn't surprised when the woman explained that her wagon had been attacked. She was however surprised when that turned out to be an ambush. Their attackers were little more than mercenaries, no match for their group. The leader however, was a trained assassin.

Arietta ducked under his blade; she could see the venom dripping from it. Poison was such a cheap trick. There was more skill involved in killing an enemy without such aids. Their blades clashed, ringing out across the ravine. She kicked him, slamming him into a caravan; he leapt over it and jumped off the other side. She ran around to face him, but he was gone. Suddenly her leg was pulled forward and she fell on her ass. The assassin was on her in seconds, diving at her with both his daggers drawn. She kicked him hard and then flipped back to her feet. Their blades clashed again. He was fairly skilled; he didn't  _rely_  on poison and he still knew how to use those daggers. The rest of her group were faring well. Bodies were flying down into the ravine, which meant Neri was clearly having some fun up on the hilltop. Ari rolled left and then kicked her leg out. That time she tripped him up. She smashed the hilt of her blade into the assassin's head, knocking him out cold.

She had questions for this elf. Judging by his tanned complexion, he was from a northern country. And his armour looked expensive. That could make him an Antivan Crow. They were expensive. That more or less meant Loghain was behind this assassination attempt.

With the other enemies dead, Arietta kicked the assassin in the side. "Mmm, what? I— Oh, ohhhh," he mumbled. "I rather thought I'd wake up dead. Or not wake up at all as the case may be." He sighed. "But I see you haven't killed me yet."

"I have questions." Arietta folded her arms.

"Ahh, I am to be interrogated? Let me save you some time. My name is Zevran, Zev to my friends. I am a member of the Antivan Crows, brought here for the sole purpose of slaying Grey Wardens." He chuckled. "Which I have failed at sadly."

"With an ambush like that, are you really surprised you failed?"

It was sloppy; the men hired were clumsy and slow. Only he had posed a threat and he was just one Crow. Loghain would have to try harder than that to kill them.

"Ha-ha-ha! Yes, perhaps I underestimated you. Being captured by my target seems a tad detrimental to my budding assassin career," he mused.

"Just a tad." Neri chuckled.

Loghain had indeed hired the Crow and he hadn't paid for silence; the assassin had been very forthcoming with answers. Arietta didn't trust him, but Neri seemed to.

"To be completely honest I was never given much of a choice regarding joining the Crows. They bought me on the slave market when I was a child. I think I paid my worth back to them plus tenfold. The only way out, however, is to sign up with someone they can't touch. Even if I did kill you now, they might just kill me on principle for failing the first time. Honestly, I'd rather take my chances with you."

Arietta asked if the Crows would come after him; he said he could handle it and in return all he wanted was to live and at some point in the future to go free. He was a skilled fighter. He also claimed to have other  _uses_  and she had rolled her eyes at his mention of warming her bed.

"Is that before or after you stab me in the back?" Arietta placed a hand on her hip.

He tutted. "The things you say; you must drive the men at home wild. So what shall it be? I'll even shine armour. You won't find a better deal, I promise."

"I think we should let him join us," Neri said, grinning ear to ear.

"You trust him?" Arietta said incredulously.

"Why not? It's like you said, we need all the help we can get. He betrays us, he dies. Simple really."

"You want to sleep with one eye open every night?" Arietta said.

"It's not like we get much sleep anyway." Neri smirked.

"I really don't think this is a good idea. He's an assassin!" Alistair said.

Arietta couldn't believe they were seriously debating this. She had no reason to trust this Crow. Then again, it was Loghain that she wanted dead. Zevran was just a hired sword and he didn't have anything against the Grey Wardens as far as she could tell. And he  _was_  a good fighter... should the Crows come after them again he would be invaluable, unless he betrayed them… she'd just have to make sure he didn't.

"Come on Ari; we could use him." The mage pouted at her.

She was probably going to regret this. "Alright. I accept."

"I suggest you check your food and drink from now on." Morrigan said disapprovingly. Arietta helped him to his feet.

"I hereby pledge my oath of loyalty to you, until such a time that you choose to release me from it. I am your man without reservation. This I swear." He bowed his head.

"Alright. Let's move out," Arietta ordered.

Neri walked ahead with Zevran and bombarded him with questions. "What's Antiva like? How many people have you killed? What poison is that coating your blades? What is that tattoo on your face? It looks Dalish, were you Dalish?"

Arietta groaned. The mage was so inquisitive, almost annoyingly so.

"Aha, my dear, where do I begin?" They moved out of ear shot as Arietta fell back to walk with Alistair. He smiled at her warmly; he was still wearing his mother's amulet around his neck. She had given it to him not long ago. He had been so grateful. She was glad to have given him that small token of her. She was hoping they could get him something better, his family. Or his sister at least; he told her she lives in Denerim. He had asked Arietta if they could visit her on their trip to the Capital. Of course she'd agreed; family was so important. Her shoulders sagged. She missed her parents so much and Fergus... She hadn't been able to look for him at all. With the King's death, it meant Highever was still in Howe's hands. She clenched her fists; her own home, all those memories and prized possessions in that traitor's hands. Of course she'd give up everything in that castle in a heartbeat to have her parents back.

"So tell me more about the Grey Wardens," she said lightly to Alistair.

"I don't know what more there is to say really. They were a cheery lot, always drinking, eating, and telling stories... some of the tales they told were so absurd! They were a family, and they acted like one, ratting on each other, puling pranks and tricks." He gasped. "Oh Maker, isn't it Feastday soon?"

"Do  _not_  tell Neri," Arietta whispered.

"Do you think she knows about it? Do they celebrate things like that in the Circle?"

"I'm not sure…"

* * *

She rubbed her eyes and sat up; her tent was blowing in the wind more than usual, and the ground felt… wrong. She crawled to entrance of her tent and opened the flap. She screamed then clasped her hand over her mouth. Her tent was in the air!  _Floating_  in the air! She was just above the treeline, and everyone else's tents were too.

Alistair ran out of his tent at full speed and Arietta gasped as he fell through the air with a cry. He grabbed hold of a floating log and hauled himself up as he gasped for air. A very girly scream cut through the air, and Arietta saw Zevran of all people freaking out a little bit above her. He was clearing his throat now to hide his embarrassment, but his cheeks were crimson.

Neri was rolling on the floor with laughter.

Arietta groaned.

_She knows about Feastday._

"Neri, put us down!" Arietta cried.

Leliana and Wynne were peering out of their own tents and giggling. Morrigan and Sten just looked annoyed. Alistair was still clutching his log in just a loose shirt and his smalls. His bare legs were… very distracting.

Neri was still laughing. "Happy Feastday!"

"Yes, very good. You got us. Now put us down," Arietta said firmly.

"Slowly!" Alistair added.

Neri moved her arm and a few more logs and sticks floated into the air. "You have to work together to get down again." She grinned.

"Like a trust exercise?" Leliana asked.

Neri snapped her finger. "Exactly!"

Sten leapt from his tent and thudded onto the floor. "I will give you a lesson in trust, elf," he growled.

Neri rose both her hands up in defence. "Sten, now come on, it was just a prank…"

He stalked toward her. "I will show you a  _prank_."

"Sten…" Neri backed away from him.

He advanced forward menacingly.

"Sten, stop!" Neri cried as she danced back away from him.

Sten picked up a stick and smiled slightly.

Neri ran away screaming and Sten gave chase.

Watching a tiny little elf running from a full scale battering ram had them all in stitches.

Sten was ridiculously fast and managed to corner Neri. He bore down on her and lifted the stick above his head as she cowered.

"I'm sorry!" Neri cried.

Then Sten stabbed the stick into Neri's side.

They all screamed. Neri flopped to the floor and Sten backed away slowly. Their tents all came crashing down.

"Neri!" Arietta scrambled to the mage's side. She rolled her over and Neri started to giggle.

"Happy Feastday," Sten said.

They all turned to him in with mouth's open wide.

Neri burst out laughing again and even Sten cracked a smile.

"That was all a prank as well?" Alistair cried.

Neri pulled the stick out from under her arm. "Got yah!"

"You had us fooled." Wynne chuckled.

Zevran took a shaky breath. "I daresay you nearly gave us all a heart attack!"

"I'm surprised you agreed to this, Sten," Arietta said, her brows knitting together.

"The elf promised cookies." He shrugged a massive shoulder.

They all laughed.


	18. Denerim

"You need to stay here," Arietta said to Neri.

It had taken them a month to reach the outskirts of Denerim. The roads were perilous. They found themselves constantly fighting darkspawn as they passed through the Lothering area. The ground there was black with the taint. Under Arietta's insistence, they had stopped several times to help more travellers, which had slowed their progress even more. Wynne had also collapsed on the road. She claimed that she was fine, but as a precaution they had slowed their pace considerably. She explained to the group that she had  _died_  at the tower, but a spirit of Faith had saved her. Neri had questioned her a lot about it, clearly mystified by the idea of it all. Arietta didn't know much about spirits or demons but Wynne seemed okay so she gave her some space.

"But–"

"I know you've never seen a city before. But you stand out more than me or Alistair. I'm sorry. It's too dangerous. If Loghain finds out we're here and captures us..."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm the spare Warden in case you nugrolls fuck up," she moaned, folding her arms grumpily.

"We only need to split up for high risk quests. We're here for a few things and then we'll be gone again. Next time we're here, I promise you can explore the city." She rubbed the elf's arm.

It was a precaution. Like Flemeth had said, they can't have all the Grey Wardens dying at once because someone needs to deal with all the darkspawn. She felt bad, but she and Alistair needed to visit his sister in Denerim. They also needed to find Genitivi and stock up on supplies. She was only taking Alistair and Leliana with them for now. They all wore ragged cloaks over their armour and worn boots to blend in.

The city was bustling; the market in particular was a swarm of people crowding around stools with men and women harking their wares. She didn't come to Denerim very often but the city always reminded her of Highever. They were both coastal cities, although Highever was windier than Denerim as it was more exposed. She missed the beaches of her home city, the golden sand dunes stretched on for miles.

"That's my sister's house; I'm almost sure of it. Yes, this is the right address. She could be inside. Could we go and see?" Alistair asked.

"Wouldn't you rather go alone?"

"Do I seem a little nervous? I am. I really don't know what to expect. I'd like you to be there with me, if you're willing," he rushed. "Or we could… leave I suppose. We really don't have time to pay a visit do we? Maybe we should go."

"Alistair, she's your sister. Don't you want to meet her?"

"Will she even know who I am? Does she even know I exist? My sister. That sounds very strange.  _Sister_. Siiiiiiiiiiister," he said as his cheeks flushed. "Hmm. Now I'm babbling. Maybe we should go. Let's go. Let's just go."

She couldn't imagine how weird this must be for him, only recently learning he has a sister and now about to meet her. Ari was curious too of course; what this Goldanna was like, what she looked like. She could have children. Alistair could be an uncle... With all the horrible things that had happened recently, this might help make things at least a little better. They walked in through the door.

"Err Hello?" Alistair asked.

"Eh? You have linens to wash? I charge three bits on the bundle; you won't find better. And don't trust what that Natalia woman tells you either. She's foreign and she'll rob you blind." Goldanna said. She was skinny like so many of the poor were.

"I'm... not here to have any wash done. My name's Alistair. I'm… well, this may sound sort of strange, but are you Goldanna? If so, I suppose I'm your brother."

"My what? I am Goldanna, yes. How do you know my name? What kind of tomfoolery are you folk up to?"

"He's telling the truth. Listen to him," Arietta added.

"Look, our mother... she worked as a servant in Redcliffe Castle a long time ago, before she died. Do you know about that? She—"

"You! I knew it. They told me you was dead! They told me the babe was dead along with mother, but I knew they was lying!"

"They told you I was dead? Who? Who told you that?"

"Them's at the castle! I told them the babe was the king's and they said he was dead. Gave me a coin to shut my mouth and sent me on my way! I knew it!"

"I'm sorry. I... didn't know that. The babe didn't die. I'm him. I'm your brother."

She scoffed. "For all the good it does me! You killed mother you did and I've had to scrape by all this time? That coin didn't last long and when I went back they ran me off!"

Arietta's jaw hung open; how could anybody blame a baby for killing its mother. "You can't blame Alistair for that!"

"And who in the Maker's name are you? Some  _tart_ , following after his riches, I expect?" Ari's eyebrows shot up, this was not what she expected Alistair's sister to be like... he was so kind and sweet and caring. This woman was rude and insensitive.

"Hey! Don't speak to her that way! She's my friend and a Grey Warden! Just like me."

"Oooohh I see. A prince and a Grey Warden too. Well, who am I to think poorly of someone so high and mighty compared to me? I don't know you  _boy_. Your royal father forced himself on my mother and took her away from me. And what to I got to show for it? Nothing. They tricked me good! I should have told everyone! I got five mouths to feed and unless you can help with that, I got less than no use for you."

"I... I'm sorry. I... don't know what to say."

Arietta took a deep breath. "Goldanna, Alistair came here hoping to find his family."

"Well he found it. And what good is that to me? None, that's what. Unless he can see to it that his family lives as it should!"

"I suppose maybe I could give her some money... for my nieces and nephews? Fifteen sovereigns, maybe? Would you let me give her that?"

She wasn't sure if they should give her anything with her running her mouth like that, but the children were innocent in this. They could use the money.

"Go ahead."

"Then here, Goldanna, take this money. I know it's not much, but..."

"You, a prince, marching in here with your fancy armour and such, and this is all you got to offer? You must think I'm very stupid."

"No wait, I don't think that at all, I want to help, if I can..."

"You want to help? You go to whatever high-and-mighty folks you run with, and you tell them you've got nephews and nieces that aren't living as they're a right to! You do that!" she snarled at him.

Arietta was usually very patient, but she'd had enough of this woman.

"In case you haven't noticed, there's a  _Blight_  savaging Ferelden at the moment. We have no allies since Loghain betrayed the King and blamed it on us. We're doing the best we can. Grey Wardens aren't rich or powerful. There's only a few of us left trying to put the damn country back together again. You're fifteen sovereigns richer than you were ten minutes ago, so show some gratitude. We're more likely to help you later if you're pleasant to us now." She turned to Alistair. "I think we're done here?"

They left.

"Well, that was... not what I expected. To put it lightly. I'm sorry I gave her any money at all. This is the family I've been wondering about all my life? That gold-digging harridan? I can't believe it. I guess I was expecting her to accept me without question. Isn't that what family is supposed to do? I... I feel like a complete idiot."

She felt terrible. They never should have visited her, what a disaster. "You don't need her; you have others who care for you."

"Such as? The only person who ever cared about me was Duncan. And he's gone."

Was he really so blind to her feelings? "I care about you."

He blushed. "I... thank you. I'm glad you came with me. Let's just go. I don't want to talk about this anymore."

…

They picked up a few new items in the market: more poultices, bandages, some better lock picks. A Knight on the far side of the market stopped them.

"I recognise you. From Ostagar. Andraste's blood. You're a Grey Warden. Duncan's apprentice. You killed my friend and good King, Cailan! I demand satisfaction Ma'am," he said angrily.

"The Grey Wardens did no such thing. It was Loghain that betrayed the King Ser," she said calmly.

"You dare smear Teyrn Loghain's word!"

"I'm not lying. I am Bryce Cousland's daughter. If you knew of my father you would know he was an honourable man. That beacon was lit by  _my_  hand. Loghain pulled out and left the King to die. The only reason half the army escaped was because of Duncan and another Warden holding back the entire horde. Loghain killed Cailan as surely as the Orgre that crushed him. Now he is in charge of Ferelden but ignores the Blight to the south. Use your wits Ser; why would the Grey Wardens aid the darkspawn?"

"I— very well." He shook his head. "I cannot duel someone who might be guiltless. Leave Warden, but if I find proof," he pointed his sword at her, "We will meet again."

She rolled her eyes as she walked away. Loghain certainly had a lot of loyal followers; he could have killed the king in front of them with his bare hands and most of them would still support him. Their love and admiration for him had made them blind to any other point of view. It would make things much harder for them going forward. They would need undeniable evidence of Loghain's treacheries to win the Landsmeet, but first they would need Eamon.

They entered Genitivi's house.

A man named Weylon greeted them; he explained that he was Genitivi's apprentice. He had concerns that something had happened to his mentor. However, it quickly became clear that this Weylon fellow was hiding something. Her interrogation caused him to sweat and he was rubbing his hands together nervously. She decided to take a look around.

"What are you doing? You're not supposed to go in there."

Arietta touched the door's handle.

"No! You're not supposed to go in there!"

He hit her with a bolt of lightning. Arietta crumpled to the floor as Leliana and Alistair laid into him, ending his life. Alistair helped her to her feet, her body still raked by spasms.

"Shall we go see what he was hiding then?" Arietta asked.

They entered the back room and Arietta gagged at the smell of a rotting corpse. "The real Weylon?"

"It certainly looks that way." Alistair said.

"Why kill him? What are they hiding?" Leliana asked.

They found some papers in the back room with a town called Haven marked on it. It was on the other side of Ferelden nestled in the mountains. She'd never heard of such a place and her geography was usually very good.

They headed back to the market. "I guess it's time to do some more shopping? It'll be winter soon; I want to buy everyone warmer clothes."

"Ooooh, does that mean we can all wear fur coats?" Leliana said excitedly. "I saw some beautiful coats at a stall over there."

"Sounds perfect."

"At least we're not shoe shopping," Alistair commented.

"Oh we'll be doing that too." Arietta smirked.

" _Wonderful_."

He was clearly still in a bad mood but she decided not to press him on it.

The stalls were brimming with cloaks, coats, jackets, and knitwear.

"Oh these are just darling!" Leliana cried.

It was a pair of grey gloves, fur-lined on the inside, leather on the outside. Perfect for gripping a bow in the winter months.

"They suit you. We'll buy them."

"What about this for Neri?" Leliana said holding up some thick leggings.

"I don't know if she'll wear them; she's been sauntering around in those short robes for weeks now, but we'll buy them anyway."

"I think those robes are beautiful; the patterns on them are so lovely. This undercoat will match them perfectly!" Leliana grabbed a long blue coat.

"Alright. Alistair, see anything you like? What about for Sten; any ideas?"

"Errr, I suppose this scarf is rather nice... and perhaps that hat for Sten? It will sit under his helmet nicely."

"Someone has a good eye for fashion." Leliana laughed.

"Yes, well, Templars dress very fashionably. It must have been ingrained in me." He touched fur coat.

He had told Arietta about his Templar training and about the tunics they wore when not in the clunky plate armour. She couldn't really imagine Alistair in anything  _but_  armour, although it certainly wasn't for lack of trying.

They ended up buying a lot of new stuff and probably spent far too much money, but if it kept them warm and safe these next few months then it was worth it. They left shortly after; she hadn't seen any of Loghain's men eyeing their group suspiciously, but she didn't want to risk it.

…

Back at camp, Alistair pulled her aside. "Arietta, I just wanted to say thank you for being at my side at Goldanna's. You're a true friend. I just wanted to tell you that."

"We're in this together, Alistair." She rubbed his arm.

"That we are." He grinned. "I have your back, you know that right?"

She nodded. "And I yours."

She walked over to Neri who sat grooming Blossom and Barkspawn.

"How are they?" she asked the elf.

"I think they're in love. They went for a little  _frolic_  earlier. I followed. Barkspawn took her down by the river; they had a drink together before running up the stream and out into a field where they started rolling around in the tall grass. Then they chased each other like two love-sick teenagers. When they finally noticed me watching, they stopped dead in their tracks and slowly walked back to me, heads lowered."

"What!? Really?"

"No. They're dogs Arietta," Neri said deadpan.

"Oh." Her cheeks flushed.

She needed to stop taking everything Neri said so seriously; she was such a prankster.

"They've been rolling in mud and barking at stuff so I decided to give them a bath." She grinned.

"So, they're not in love?"

"Don't think so. Barkspawn is far too manly for all that soppy bullshit anyway. Aren't you boy? Yes you are." She rubbed his head and he barked happily in return.

She decided to change the subject. "I bought you this." Arietta handed her a gift wrapped present.

She had already given her the leggings, gloves, scarf and undercoat so the elf looked perplexed.

"What is it?"

"Open it and you'll see."

The elf tore into the wrappings and gasped at its contents.

"Arietta this is... Thank you," she said sincerely.

It was a tome she had found in the Wonders of Thedas store, it was titled 'Mages and magics of Thedas'. Neri had mentioned not knowing much about her school of magic; force mages were less common in the Circle, as most apostates learnt such spells as they could be performed without a staff.

"No problem. I figured it would give you something to read while you're keeping your eyes open at night watching our lovely assassin friend," she joked.

Neri snorted. "He's not so bad once you get to know him. He's a shameless flirt though." She smelt the pages of the tome and her face lit up with joy.

"Then I'm sure you'll get a long great." Arietta stuck her tongue out.

"Mmm. We'll see," Neri said more seriously.

"Would you..."

"Sleep with him?" Neri looked up at her.

"Yeah."

She frowned. "No. I don't think so."

"You're not attracted to him?"

"It's not that. I haven't been with anyone since... well, you know. I don't know if I could." She inhaled deeply.

"No, I get it. I'm here if you need to talk."

It was quite recent, something like six months ago, that Neri had been abused and miscarried. Arietta couldn't imagine how hard something like that would be to come to terms with.

"Thanks. What about you and Alistair? You guys talk a lot. And I've seen the way he looks at you..."

"I— don't know. I care about him. It's scary just how much. But stopping the Blight is—"

"Who cares?" Neri interrupted. "Do what  _you_  want. You follow your head and gut too much. Listen to your heart for a change."

"That's not an easy thing for me to do," Arietta said bleakly, scowling slightly.

Her first crush had only dated her for her family's wealth. Her second had pushed her in the dirt when she told him she fancied him. The most recent, Colin, had asked her out, showering her in flowers, and played her sweet songs on his harp, but it had all been a trick, a game. He wanted to bed her, nothing more. Luckily she had overheard him saying as much and confronted him. He hit her hard but Fergus intervened. She promised herself to never be defenceless again, physically as well as emotionally. But Alistair had broken those defences down and wormed his way deep inside her heart.

"It isn't for anyone." Neria smiled sadly.


	19. Elves

"So, do you want to lead this one?" Arietta changed the subject. Her cheeks were rosy after Zevran had commented on her perky little behind just moments ago.

"Had enough of everyone staring at your ass?" Neri said, smirking.

"Actually, no. I thought maybe the Dalish would listen to you..."

Instead of going straight to Haven to find Genitivi they had stopped off in the Brecilian forest in search of the Dalish: their next treaty.

"It's the ears, isn't it?" she said, shaking her head.

"Well, they might trust you more?" Arietta shrugged.

"They're Dalish, Ari. They don't trust anyone and you're the diplomatic one. You lead."

A group of Dalish hunters slid out from the trees, their arrows trained on them.

"Hold it right there, outsider. The Dalish have camped in this spot. I suggest you go elsewhere and quickly," a blonde elf said as she approached. Beautiful tattoos covered much of her face but Neri wasn't too fond of her tone.

"Actually, we were looking for you," Arietta said.

"I find that hard to believe. What business could we Dalish have with a group like yours?" she said, waving her hand in Arietta's face.

Neri rolled her eyes. _Well if you just let us explain..._

"We are Grey Wardens. We need to speak to your leader," Arietta said tolerantly.

"Grey Wardens? Very well; I will let our Keeper decide what to do with you, but remember our arrows are still trained on you."  _Oh charming_.

They followed her into their camp; it looked more settled than Neri thought it would be. The grass under their benches was wilting, turning a sickly yellow, and there were abandoned fire pits dotted around the camp. She could hear coughing and cries of pain, yet nobody looked alarmed by the noises. Some sort of sickness had taken them perhaps? And that was the reason for their staying she guessed.

They approached a tall, bald elf. He squinted at them as they drew nearer. His robes matched his surroundings, a mix of yellow and green.

"Mmm. I see we have guests," he observed. "Who are these strangers Mithra?" he asked suspiciously. She let out a sigh.  _Why don't they ask us directly?_  It was probably a good thing Neri wasn't leading this discussion; she would have lost her patience by now. "I have precious little patience and less time to spend on outsiders today," he finished.  _Join the club_.

"I understand, but they claim to be Grey Wardens," the pretty elf explained.

"Then you are here about the Blight?" he said. Arietta nodded. The Keeper told Mithra to return to her post before continuing. "Now, allow me to introduce myself. I am Zathrian, this clans Keeper. Its guide and preserver of our ancient lore. And you are?"

"My name is Arietta, a pleasure to meet you. This is Alistair and Neria, they are Grey Wardens too."

He nodded a greeting at them. "I sensed the Blight's corruption some time ago. I would have taken the clan north by now, had we the ability to move. Sadly as you can see, we do not."

"Yes, it seems like you've had your own troubles," Alistair commented.

"Along with everyone else in Ferelden it seems," Neri added.

"I imagine you are here regarding the treaty we signed centuries ago?" He lowered his head, his expression pained. "Unfortunately we may not be able to live up to the promise we made. This will require some explanation. Please, follow me."

Lying on make shift cots were several elves, writhing in pain; others were lying on the floor on thick blankets. There were so many. Some were quiet but visibly trembling; the sicker ones were crying out in pain. Some healthy elves were tending to them, but it didn't appear to be helping much. She lifted her scarf slyly to cover her mouth. She hoped it wasn't contagious.

"We did not expect the werewolves would be lying in wait for us...," Zathrian explained.

Neri's scarf dropped back down as she did a double take.  _Werewolves?_  Did such things even exist? She continued to frown through his explanation. Due to all the sick, Zathrian pointed out that they were in no condition to uphold their obligations. She felt bad for their situation but she wasn't sure why they didn't just put these dying elves out of their misery and leave.

When they had discussed their plan to stop the Blight she had assumed gathering the treaties would be the easiest part, but that was now proving to be the most bothersome. Every group they had encountered was having their own difficulties. Abominations, blood mages, walking dead, werewolves, poison. It was never-ending. Arietta of course began asking if there was any way to cure the elves. Neri would need to ask her one day why she felt the need to help every person she met. Most people had motives and reasons; nobody was completely good or completely evil. Most were shades of grey. Even Loghain probably had his reasons; perhaps he really thought Orlais was the bigger threat.

Zathrian told them that ending the curse would be no trivial task.

"We're good at non-trivial tasks." Arietta said sweetly.

Neri shook her head. "Ari, we're talking about werewolves here! Actual werewolves."

_Am I the only person in the group bothered by that?_

Arietta waved her off. "Their people lie here in agony; we have to help. Plus we need them to stop the Blight."

Neri groaned.  _She always has to do the right thing, doesn't she?_

"Deep in the forest lies a great wolf. We call him Witherfang. It was in him that the curse originated. And through his blood that it has spread. If he is killed and his heart brought to me, perhaps I could destroy the curse," Zathrian said.

They agreed to help, or rather Arietta did. She then went off to stock up on supplies.

Neri found herself sat with Zevran as they ate some dried meat around a dim fire, more smoke than flame. "Do you feel any kinship to the Dalish?" she asked.

"Not really. I mean my mother was Dalish or so I was told. She had fallen in love with an elven wood-cutter and accompanied him back to the city. Leaving her clan behind for good. And there of course the wood-cutter died of some filthy disease and my mother was forced into prostitution to pay off his debts. Oldest tale in the book," he said, as he chewed down on a piece of meat.

"Really? I hadn't read that one before." She smiled.

"My, that is surprising! You're the fastest reader I know. What are you, half way through that book Arietta bought you?" He chuckled. "I never knew my mother of course, although her Dalish origins were always a point of fascination for me. Through all the years of my Crow training the one thing of my mother's that I possessed was a pair of gloves. They were of Dalish make. I knew that much. And beautiful. I had to keep them hidden of course as we were not allowed such things. Eventually they were discovered and I never saw them again." He exhaled. "What about you?"

"Oh. No. They're far too serious and snobby for my liking." She paused. "I prefer my elves mischievous and flirty," she said with a wink.

"Which is why we get along so very well, my dear." He grinned.

She liked Zevran. Despite his cocksure attitude, he was sweet. He didn't judge or push either. She often found herself in his company happily listening to one of his stories or jokes. It also helped he was easy on the eyes.

"Mind if I join you?" Leliana said as she sat down on the ground opposite them. Her hair was pulled back in a bun today, out of her face for the inevitable fighting they'd have to do soon.

"My dear, you are always welcome with us," Zevran said seductively.

Leliana and Neri both rolled their eyes.

She liked Leliana well enough; she was another 'save the kittens' sort, always doing the right thing. Not that there was anything wrong with that. Neri wasn't exactly evil. She was maybe just more pragmatic than the idealistic duo that was Arietta and Leliana. Wynne made another great addition to  _that_  grouping. That reminded her, she needed to speak to the clan's story-teller, ask him about Aneirin. He had been Wynne's apprentice, her only regret. He had fled the tower after she treated him poorly. Wynne was too stern and impatient when all he needed was comfort and time to settle into the Circle. He wanted to reach the Dalish but Wynne assumed he was dead. Neri was hoping he wasn't. Finding out about Wynne's  _passenger_ had shocked her; this spirit of Faith, keeping her alive. She knew little of such things, it was why the book Arietta had purchased for her was such a wonderful gift, there was an entire chapter devoted to spirits and possessions, fascinating stuff. It didn't help much in explaining why this Spirit had chosen to help Wynne though.

"So are you ready to fight werewolves?" Leliana asked.

"Most assuredly not. It should be fun, yes?" Zevran said.

"Your idea of fun is very different from mine own," Neri said with a chuckle.

"HA! Don't tell me you don't love the mystery? The adventure? The  _danger_? There's a thrill to it: the rushing blood, dripping sweat, the dance between you and your opponent."

"Killing is not an art," Leliana said, folding her arms.

"Of course it is! The precision, the care, the time spent planning every move..."

"You just managed to make fighting and art sound really boring. Well done," Neri teased.

* * *

After what seemed like hours, they were finally entering the forest. The cold damp air clung to her robes as the gloom rose up around them. She always imagined forests to be happy places, full of life, but this felt the opposite of that. The trees pressed down on them, like they wanted to strangle them all, and there was no birdsong or the chirping of insects. The only noise appeared to be a nearby waterfall.

They didn't get very far before a bear and some wolves attacked. They were easy to kill with such a large group. Seeing bears always reminded her of Lothering. Of the day her life changed forever. She stabbed her staff through its chest as it reared and then crashed back to the ground.

Not long after, a group of werewolves confronted them. They stood on two feet and  _spoke_." The white wolves have spoken truly, my brothers and sisters," it grunted. "The Dalish send a human of all things to repay us for our attack. To put us in our place. What bitter irony."

After Arietta had recovered her wits she replied. "You speak? I wasn't aware werewolves had such intelligence."

"We are beasts. But we are no longer mindless. Let that thought chill your spine," it said. Neri snorted. "You speak to Swiftrunner." She tried to hold in her laugh but she couldn't contain it. "Why are you laughing? I lead my accursed brothers and sisters. Turn back now! Go back to the Dalish and tell them that you have failed."

"Why don't you run  _swiftly_  back to your cave or whatever hole you crawled out of?" Neri said as she moved her hand behind her; Zevran low-fived it.

Arietta shot her a look. "I would prefer to talk to you; I mean you no harm," she said kindly.

"Was it not Zathrian who sent you? He wishes only our destruction! Never to talk."

"You talk of Zathrian as if you know him?" Arietta's hands were on the hilts of her blades. She may keep a calm exterior but none of them knew how this would go; it was wise to be ready for anything.

"We have never met, he and I. He would not survive the experience, I swear it," Swiftrunner growled.

Arietta persuaded them that they didn't want to fight, but she told them they were not leaving either. The werewolves left them alone.

"This forest is huge. We should split up," Arietta suggested.

…

Neri ended up with Wynne, Barkspawn and Leliana. They were going to look for Aneirin, who as it turned out was in fact alive and somewhere in these woods.

They battled a lot of werewolves; they had to be wary about being bitten so Barkspawn charged in and kept their attention while Neri and the others picked them off. She was just wishing for a change in enemy when the darkspawn started scratching at her mind.

"Oh joys." It was a big group, with all sorts of dead things joining them for the fight. Neri put the ogre in a crushing prison while they took out all the smaller more annoying foes. Leliana finished off the ogre with a couple of arrows right through its skull.

"What's this?" Neri said, pointing to a gravestone. She couldn't read the inscription on it, too dusty.

"I don't know. But it may not be wise to touch-" Wynne said.

Neri touched it, rubbing the dust away.

Smoke began to swirl around their feet and of all things, a Revenant appeared.

"I told you not to touch it," Wynne remarked, her eyes flashing in annoyance.

Before Neri could even react, it was dragging her across the grass toward it. She lifted her staff to stab at it but it flung it aside.

"Ah."

She rolled away from its blade and then kicked it in the kneecap. She ducked under another swing; an arrow shot passed her ear and hit the Revenant in the neck but it didn't even flinch. She flung it back with her magic but it knocked her down again. Her head was spinning. It loomed over her and lifted its massive sword high, about to drop it down on her. For a second it had Albert's face and she froze up. There was a flash of brown as Barkspawn tackled the Revenant to the ground. He tore into it, shredding any scrap of skin he could sink his teeth into. Suddenly he yelped in pain and the Revenant threw him off.

"No!" Neri shrieked.

She lifted the Revenant into the air and smashed it into the hillside; she picked up its fallen sword and impaled the Revenant on it. Barkspawn was lying on the floor whimpering. She ran to his side.

"Hey boy, it's okay. Hey, you're alright buddy?" She rolled him over and he squealed in pain. There was a deep wound in his side.

She cursed.  _Why did she freeze up! Why, why, why_?

"Try not to move, that's it, good boy. Wynne?" she said desperately, as he writhed in pain.

"Let me see." Her hands were on his wound, her healing magic spreading out across him, she shook her head. "I am not versed in animal healing, Neri."

"I am," a man's voice said from behind them. It was a Dalish elf with bright red hair. She vaguely remembered him...

" _Aneirin_ ," Wynne gasped.

"It's good to see you Wynne. Let me take a look." He knelt at Barkspawn's side. "Hmm."

"What? Is it bad? Can you help him?" she asked frantically.

He started casting a spell. His magic glowed fiercely and Barkspawn stopped whimpering. He slowly he lifted his head to look at his savior, panting heavily. "Better. Mabari are a strong breed." Aneirin said patting the dog. "Take it easy though boy." He stood up.

Neri let out the breath she'd been holding and hugged Barkspawn tightly. "Thank you!" she said to Aneirin, as Barkspawn happily licked her face.

"I thought they had killed you," Wynne said to him.

"They very nearly did. The Templars found me while I was searching for the Dalish. They ran me through and left me for dead."

"I brought this on you." Wynne said putting a hand on her head. "I was a dreadful mentor, harsh and impatient. I am sorry for the way I treated you."

"I've put that behind me and you should too. I didn't fit in with the Templars and your Chantry. My path lay elsewhere."

Neri fed Barkspawn some jerky. He munched it down quickly as Aneirin and Wynne continued conversing. It seemed Wynne needn't regret the way she treated him; he was happy here in the forest.

They left him to find the others. Barkspawn walked slowly at her side. She had ordered him to take it easy, no fighting unless he absolutely had to. Farther down the path, they found a campsite. Neri poked around a few things and suddenly an old man appeared. She could feel the magic on him; he was an apostate.

"Oh dear, oh dear," he said shaking his head. "Not a werewolf and not a spirit. What are the woods coming to?"

"What are you babbling about?" she asked the strange man.

"Questions, questions always questions!" He said shaking his hands. "They say it was questions that made me mad; it'll do the same for you. Ask a question and you'll get questions. But give an answer and you'll receive the same. Oh I do so love to trade."

"You want me to answer a question?" she questioned in confusion.

"Wouldn't I have to ask you a question first?" he said, stroking his beard.

Her eyebrows knitted together. "Isn't that a question?"

"Would you know a question if it was asked?"

"I should certainly hope so." She folded her arms across her chest.

"No. That is not a question. And if it be an answer it be an answer to a question I did not ask. Have you no sense for the rules?" He waved his arms around frantically.

"Be careful Neri, he is a mage, driven mad perhaps, but still powerful," Wynne warned.

"No fair bringing mages to a guessing game. Will you play by the rules or not?"

"Then... would you like to ask me a question?" she said, tapping her foot impatiently.

"I think it is your turn to ask is it not?"

"So... you live in a tree stump?"

Neri asked him a number of questions, not wanting to risk a fight with Barkspawn still weak. She didn't want to fuck up again. She found at that a magical barrier would prevent them from reaching the Witherfang's lair. The Hermit could get them through it but they needed to kill a tree that had been "bothering" him. She assumed he meant it was giving too much shade, or perhaps he kept tripping on its roots. That was until the trees started attacking them.

"Walking trees?  _Really_? What next? Singing nugs?" she said, as she ducked under one of the trees stumpy legs.

"I would prefer that to killer trees!" Leliana cried, as one of the tree's roots wrapped around her. Neri blasted the tree with kinetic energy knocking it on its... trunk? The roots around Leliana receded and she was able to cut into the tree with her daggers.

"This is so fucking weird," Neri groaned.

She knew spirits could possess most things, but she couldn't see why they'd ever want to be a tree.

"Don't worry. I'm sure we'll see much stranger things on our travels," Wynne added, as she healed a few cuts on Leliana.

"Maker, I hope not. All this crazy is making my head hurt," Leliana said wearily.


	20. Weird

They found Arietta and Alistair by a stream; they all stopped to fill their canteens.

"So we have to kill some tree to get through this magic barrier...," Neri explained.

"Really? Because a talking tree asked us to retrieve his acorn from some crazy old man," Alistair said.

 _Talking_  tree _..._  Well that really shouldn't have surprised her.

"I would prefer not to kill anyone; can you take us to this man?" Arietta asked.

"Oh, do we have to go see him again?" Neri moaned.

Leliana led them back to the old hermit. He was still babbling to himself. Arietta traded him a Dalish book for the acorn, much to Neri's disappointment. They returned to the big tree. It was huge, with long twigs for fingers and deep hollows for eyes. A monstrous looking thing; it would have been scary if it weren't talking in rhymes.

"My joy soars to new heights indeed; I am reunited with my seed. This cannot pass without reward; I shall give what little I can afford. Keep this branch of mine with thee, and pass throughout the forest free."

"That weirdness scale we were talking about earlier? Yeah this thing just took the cake," Neri muttered.

"The world is certainly full of marvellous, unexpected creations. Each day we see something that we never thought possible," Wynne said in awe.

"Wow," Leliana murmured.

They reunited with Morrigan, Zevran and Sten and were finally able to get through the barrier.

Swiftrunner greeted them again. "The forest has not been vigilant enough. Still you come. You are stronger than we could have anticipated. The Dalish chose well. But you do not belong here outsider. Leave this place!" He growled as more of his brethren joined him.

"Why won't you let me try to settle this dispute?" Arietta asked.

"You are as treacherous as the Dalish. We will not allow harm to come to Witherfang."

The werewolves attacked. Neri threw two back as Arietta and Alistair took on Swiftrunner. Arietta got a few good cuts in and Swiftrunner began backing away. A white wolf tackled Arietta to the ground and barked at her. It let out a terrifying howl before running into the ruins with the other werewolves.

"You okay?" Alistair helped Arietta up.

"Yeah, fine. Thank you. I guess we're going in there?"

…

The ruins were dark and cold, the rattle of their armour and footsteps echoing around the big chambers and down the long corridors as they explored the ruins. There were cobwebs everywhere; all the old furniture was overturned or broken and many of the steps crumbled or cracked. The creatures the werewolves were bunked with weren't very nice either, mostly reanimated corpses.

She kept her staff lit as they walked; she wasn't a fan of the dark. Albert always dragged her to the quietest, darkest rooms of the tower to have his way with her. She shuddered and walked straight into a cobweb, the thick sticky substance wrapping around her hair. She screamed as a giant spider dropped from the ceiling, hissing. It was almost as big as Barkspawn; its huge hairy body and beady eyes made her scream some more as she tried desperately to untangle herself. Alistair slammed his shield into it and then plunged his sword through its eyes. Her shoulders sagged; she went back to untangling herself.

"Sticky situation you found yourself in," he quipped as he helped her with the rest.

"I was just testing the sensitivity of the webs," she said defensively.

"Riiiight, and the hearing capabilities of everyone in these ruins?"

"Yes that too. I'm glad to report you all have excellent hearing," she said, looking at the group that had gathered around her all chuckling to themselves.

"I never would have guessed you were scared of spiders until now," Arietta said, slightly amused.

"Oh, like anyone's a fan!"

They headed deeper into the ruins, the sounds of growls and howls echoed off the decaying walls. They entered a big chamber.

"Traps everywhere. Watch your footing," Zevran warned.

They heard the beating of wings above them. A gust of wind blew Neri's long curls into her eyes. They all turned to look up just as a dragon landed in front of them.

"Oh good, I was just wondering when we'd be attacked by dragons," Morrigan drawled.

"These ruins wouldn't want to disappoint you, now would they?" Zevran said laughing.

"Well they have. They are most unpleasant." Sten groaned. He was probably just annoyed that he had to crouch under a lot of the doorways.

Lucky for them, this dragon was just a baby and quickly died. They navigated the rest of the ruins, mostly fighting corpses and spiders. There was an Arcane Horror in one of the chambers; Neri had shielded Sten and Alistair as they fought it.

They stopped in front of a huge hole in the ground. Howls and shrieks echoed out of it, sending shivers down her spine. No doubt it led to the werewolves' lair.

"So what? We just jump down there and hope there's a nice pillow to land on?" Alistair asked.

Arietta dropped a stone down it. They heard the clunk as it hit the bottom. "See, it's not that far..."

"Not going first!" Alistair said childishly.

Neri rolled her eyes and jumped in. The others followed.

It was eerily quiet as they walked toward the next door. "Ambush," Arietta guessed.

Several big werewolves charged at them. Sten took the left side as Arietta and Alistair took the centre and right. There were a lot more than any of them expected. Neri shielded Alistair as he taunted more to attack him instead of others. Sten was on the far left, back against a wall with three wolves surrounding him. Despite that, he was holding his own and the werewolves were clearly weary of him. Zevran was in and out of the shadows as he danced from one enemy to the next slicing and stabbing. Leliana, Morrigan, and Wynne were in the doorway, safe, fighting from afar. Arietta had disappeared from view, no doubt sneaking around for a better angle. Neri lifted a werewolf up, slamming it into the ceiling. Leliana filled it with arrows and she let its corpse fall to the floor, landing on another werewolf. Neri thrust her staff into its neck. A scream erupted over the feral grunting of the werewolves. Neri scanned the room desperately. Her eyes landed on Arietta just as Alistair screamed out too. Neri froze, unable to comprehend what she was seeing.

Arietta was on the floor; a huge black werewolf was tearing into her shoulder, and Alistair slammed into it. Neri's eyes found Arietta again; Wynne pushed past her and ran to her side. She could see Arietta's hand, covered in blood, as she lifted it from her wound. Everything moved slowly; she tried to make her feet move but they wouldn't budge. Noise became distorted, their shouts and cries muffled, the sound of her own heart much louder in her ears. A werewolf swiped at her; she moved back too slowly and its claws caught the skin of her cheek. She didn't feel the pain but the rage set in. Everything suddenly focused. Sharply. She moved with unbelievable speed and stabbed her staff right into its mouth as it gaped at her shocked. She ran to Arietta's side.

"I can't heal this... the curse is already within her blood. It's stopping me from fully closing the wound." Wynne said, already exhausted from trying everything she had.

"No!" Alistair said shaking. "There must be more you can do! You have to help her!" he begged.

Arietta bit down another scream, as Wynne tried to close the wound again.

Neri's mind was racing. Arietta was dying, or worse, she'd turn into one of those _things_. "We have to kill Witherfang. It's the only way," Neri said. It's what they came here for after all. "Wynne, you keep her alive until I have that wolf's heart in my hands, understand?"

"I'll do my best. She's losing a lot of blood though...," Wynne said, as she wiped the sweat from her brow.

"Then we need to move. Alistair, carry Arietta,  _carefully_. Wynne, stay at her side. Sten, take point with Zevran and Blossom. Leliana, watch our back. Morrigan, stay with me and Barkspawn."

Arietta pulled at her robes, getting her attention. "Don't kill...werewolves...," she said feebly.

"That might not be possible," Neri tried to explain.

" _Please_ ," she begged as she passed out.

They headed deeper into the ruins. Neri's formation seemed to be doing the trick. Sten and Zevran were very good at killing most anything that came at them and Morrigan and Neri's magic along with Leliana's arrows killed the rest.

"I'm right here; it's going to be okay. Please be okay. Please,  _please_ , don't die," Alistair whispered to the unconscious Arietta.

Bile rose in her throat; everything was still spinning. Arietta was the toughest fighter in their group. This just didn't happen. She never got hurt. But she was.  _Maker_. If they couldn't cure this... if they couldn't save her... She squeezed her eyes shut.

She felt a hand touch her arm. Leliana's. "She'll be okay," she tried to reassure her but there was fear in her eyes too.

They both glanced back to Arietta; her skin was a sickly cloudy colour and beads of sweat were dripping off her.

"Morrigan, can you try to cool her down?"

The witch nodded and produced small ice cubes that could be wrapped in fabric and used to cool her. Neri hoped it would help, at least a little.

They reached a chamber and more werewolves stood in their way.

"We do not wish any more of our people hurt. I ask you this now outsider, are you willing to parley?" one of them spoke.

She knew Arietta would agree. She'd talk to them, try to figure all this out. Neri was never very patient though, and now even less so. They had no time left. She felt bad; guilty almost, but she had  **one**  priority now and they were standing in her way.

"I just need Witherfang's heart. Sorry."

She slammed the werewolf into the door; the wood snapped and he crashed through it. Sten cut another in two and Morrigan set the last one on fire. Neri stepped through the broken door and brought her staff down on the wolf's head. The chamber was full of the growling monsters.

"I'm not really in a chatty mood. I just need to end the curse." She spun her staff in her hand. "Where is Witherfang!?" she snarled.

"You do not have to do this... Zathrian can end the curse...," a woman stepped forward; she was green with branches all over her body. Her eyes were deep black pools. Another spirit perhaps? It didn't matter; they didn't have time to negotiate. Neri looked back at Arietta; she was trembling, mumbling in her sleep. She was getting worse, the vile curse within her veins spreading like wild-fire.

"Neri, are you sure about this?" Wynne questioned.

"Look at her Wynne," was all she said to the older mage.

"He's not here," Neri offered. If this lady was leading the werewolves, she probably knew where Witherfang was, or perhaps she  _was_  him. "But  _you_  are."

She lifted some werewolves into the air and slammed them into the stone. Sten and Zevran were on them in seconds. Alistair put Arietta on the ground, her body in spasm from the poison coursing through her blood.

The green woman transformed into a great white wolf,  _Witherfang_. It charged at Neri but she rolled to the side. She hit the wolf with a blast of her magic, sending it crashing into a wall. The others were cutting down werewolves all around her, but she only had eyes for the white wolf. That heart was the only thing that mattered now. She charged toward it, stabbing with her staff, cutting the wolf's chest. It swiped with its claws, cutting her leg; she kicked it hard in the jaw, sending it reeling. She lifted it and slammed it back down again. The wolf yelped in pain. It came at her again and she jumped back. Her leg caught on a tree root that she was certain wasn't there a moment ago. Her back slammed into the cold stone, the roots wrapped around her legs. She tried to bring her staff up but the wolf bit into her arm savagely. She cried out. She held Witherfang's head away from her own as its massive jaw snapped shut just inches from her face. She struggled to keep its sharp teeth from ripping her throat out. Its claws were shredding her robes, tearing into her skin.

She cried out in pain as the wolf snapped its jaw shut again, slobber dripping from its mouth. She glanced around the room as she grappled with the wolf. Everyone was preoccupied with all the werewolves. Nobody was near her except Arietta, lying unconscious next to her. Neri could see the hilt of her dagger hanging loosely from her belt. If she could just reach it...She took a deep breath then removed one hand from the wolf's neck using it to punch the wolf in the snout. She hit it with a blast of magic, knocking it off her. Her legs were still tangled in the roots but she reached over and grabbed Arietta's dagger. Witherfang leapt at her again; this time she plunged the dagger into its neck. Hot blood sprayed onto her face and chest. She pushed it in further as the wolf shuddered over her. Its body flopped against her; she pushed it off and caught her breath.

She was shaking as she checked on everyone else; most of the other werewolves were dead now. She cut the tree roots and then cut open the wolf's chest to pull out its heart while trying not to gag. Her arm ached painfully; she felt feverish too. She was certain the curse was now in her veins as well. Not that it mattered they had the heart. She struggled to her feet, her head dizzy from the blood loss.

"Grab her and let's move!" she cried as she headed for the door. They raced up the steps; they came out at the first chamber they had entered. Crouched over a corpse was Zathrian.

"Ah good; there you are," he said nonchalantly.

 _What the fuck was he doing here?_  "Zathrian?"

"I was worried the werewolves would kill you. Do you have the heart?"

"We do. Arietta's been bitten. Can you cure her?"

"I can. Come, quickly."


	21. Witch

"Wynne I'm fine, really."

"You are not. There is a hole in your arm still young lady. Let me heal you."

"Just leave it, okay?"

They'd raced through the forest back to the Dalish camp. Neri had nearly passed out from the exertion. Reaching the camp, she had collapsed onto the grass, rolling onto her back as she gasped for air. The curse in her veins had been excruciating. The pain was sharper than lightning and hotter than fire as it burned through her, making her bones feel like glass. She was sweating and shivering as Zathrian poured the thick liquid into her mouth. It was stringy and chewy but she choked it down. The effects were immediate. The curse hadn't been in her veins long so her recovery was fast. She still felt a bit sore and achy but that didn't bother her. It served as a reminder for all they'd just been through. Arietta was still unconscious, but she was alive and recovering much to everyone's relief.

"I will certainly not. If I don't heal this wound, it will get infected. You'll be no good to us dead. Now give me your arm," Wynne said sternly. Reluctantly she obeyed. She scratched at the scabby claw marks on her cheek as Wynne healed her wound. "They'll scar if you do that," she scolded.

Neri rolled her eyes. "You are not my mother, Wynne."

"I'm well aware."

"Then stop mothering me."

"Well,  _someone_  has to take care of you when you're disregarding your own safety."

"I told you, I'm fine." She yanked her arm away. The wound was sealed but the tissue was still sore and red, the teeth marks clear to see.

"You are not. What is this about? Do you feel guilty?"

She snorted. "Just drop it Wynne. Please."

The older mage sighed and left her alone.

She slumped back against a big tree. Barkspawn nuzzled her and she kissed his head, glad for his company.

 _"You will always be weak, you pathetic little slut,"_ Albert echoed in her mind.

He was always so strong, too strong for her to fight. But she was weak. She couldn't save the King or Duncan. The sloth demon, Uldred, and Witherfang had nearly killed her and on top of that Albert was haunting her, making her freeze up in battle.

_"You obviously didn't try hard enough."_

She was a failure, completely useless.  _Weak._  Arietta was hurt because Neri hadn't been protecting her, and the werewolves were dead at her hand.

She squeezed her eyes shut, clenching her firsts. She couldn't  _do_  anything. She wasn't particularly smart; she wasn't charming or a skilled fighter. She only had her magic and that was more a curse than anything. She slammed her head back into the trunk of the tree. Zathrian had been  _right there_ , upstairs. He could have ended the curse, she was sure. Her impatience and desperation had led to her ignoring the Lady's pleas for peace. They'd killed, no,  _slaughtered_  them all.

She wasn't a killer. Until now she'd only killed monsters: darkspawn, undead, bandits, abominations, mercenaries.  _The werewolves were savages._ She tried to convince herself. They could talk though; they were sentient.  _Murderer._ She stared down at the bite mark on her arm. She pinched the raw skin, pain flaring up her arm. She smiled.

 _"You deserve this,"_   _Albert sneered, as his gauntleted fist crashed into her ribs. He grabbed her by her hair, lifting her off her feet. She cried out. She was so small compared to him; he towered over her. His black hair and grey eyes were barely visible in the darkness of the basement. "I told you to be quiet," he spat. She had to do what he said. He would hurt her more if she didn't. She bit down on her tongue, drawing blood. He pushed her to her knees as he undid his breeches. Tears streamed down her cheeks._  " _Please no! I'm sorry," she begged, her whole body trembling. "Only the weak beg," he said, as he rammed his cock into her mouth._

"Elf, are you possessed?" Sten spoke.

She gasped for air, gagging at the memory."Wh– what?" she said staring up at the giant.

His purple eyes darkened. "Your palms are bloody and you were mumbling and trembling."

"Oh." She took another shaky breath. "I'm not possessed."

"Good." He walked away.

"Sten?"

"Yes." He turned.

She bit her lip. "How did you deal with the guilt? Of killing that family?"

"The cage was my penance. Now I am here."

"So, stopping the Blight will make up for it?"

"I do not know. It is a start."

"Why did you kill them?"

"I lost my sword." He walked away.

She sat for a while, staring at her bloody palms. Eventually she forced herself back to her feet using her staff as a walking stick; she decided she needed to be productive instead of wallowing in her thoughts all day.

* * *

"How are you feeling?" Neri asked her. The elf was in new robes, some sickly green Dalish ones. Her already skinny frame looked anorexic in them.

Arietta was still sore; her muscles and bones felt heavy and sensitive and bright lights made her eyes sting. "I'm fine," she said to the elf.

Neri nodded. "I'm glad you're okay. I thought I might knit you something, to keep you warm while you're stuck in bed?" The elf smiled slightly; her usually bright brown eyes were duller today. Dark circles lay beneath them and the scab across her cheek was ugly.

She snorted. "I'm surprised you have the patience to knit. I don't need anything." The elf's ears dropped. "I just need to rest," she said turning on her side, giving her back to the elf. She did not want to talk to  _her_  today. She heard the elf walk away, her boots dragging across the grass.

She heard another noise, the familiar sound of mail rattling.  _Alistair_. She couldn't help but smile as he came into view. "Here; I brought you this," he said handing her a bowl of soup. She kissed him on the cheek as she sat up to eat. He sat on the cot with her, his hand rubbing her back softly. She melted into his touch and sighed contently. Blossom was sat watching them silently as she always did. "I was thinking we should probably leave soon. I know Zathrian wants to move his clan north a bit if he can," he said.

"I agree. We need to find the Ashes." She slurped down the remaining soup. Eamon was their priority and they'd wasted too much time here already.

"I hope Eamon is okay," Alistair said looking at the ground.

"He will be, Alistair. I'll make sure of it."

As long as she remained in charge, nothing would go wrong. She wouldn't let it.

"Thank you." He kissed her head. "You know... You don't have to walk anywhere. I don't mind carrying you again." He smirked.

She laughed. "Oh no you don't!"

He grabbed her, lifting her into the air. She screamed and then began to laugh as he spun her around. She slammed her fists into his armoured back with little effect. He held her in his arms, their faces inches apart. Her breathing was heavy; she stared up at his beautiful face. He had thicker stubble than usual on his chin and jaw; he'd barely left her side the entire time she'd been recovering. Her heart skipped a beat as he stared down at her. His eyes were so intense, so full of passion and something else; something more than that. She moved her hand to cup his face, his stubble scratching her fingers, but she didn't mind. She ran her hand up through his silky hair. She licked her lips and Alistair moved his head closer.

"Looks like you're feeling better," Zevran interrupted. Arietta turned beetroot; she could see Alistair blush too, his ears turning pink. He plopped her back down on the cot while he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Much," she said to the elf, a grin plastered across her face as she held Alistair's hand.

"The Dalish are leaving. I suggest we do the same. Zathrian has given us a map to their new camp site; they'll be ready when we call them to battle."

"Okay. Tell everyone we leave within the hour."

* * *

"I have been studying mother's Grimoire." Morrigan said, referring to the tome Neri had found in Irving's quarters. "Do you wish to hear what I have found?"

"Does it say how she becomes a dragon?" Neri quipped.

"It does not. Tis, not what I expected," she said looking at the ground; her expression was a mixture of pain and worry. "I had hoped for a collection of her spells, a map of the power she commands. But this is not it."

"Yet you look disturbed?"

"Disturbed? Yes perhaps that is the right word. One thing in particular within her writings  _disturbs_  me. Here in great detail Flemeth explains the means by which she has survived for centuries." She paced.

That sounded useful. "A spell of immortality?"

Morrigan sighed heavily. "Oh, if only it were so. Flemeth has raised many daughters over her long life time, yet I have never seen a one. And always wondered why not. And now I know. They are all Flemeth. When her body becomes old and wizened, she raises a daughter and when the time is right she takes the daughter's body for her own."

Neri's ears flicked back. She was not expecting  _that_. "I— what the  _fuck_. So her current body... Was her previous daughter's?"

"Yes. This tome details the preparation and training. I recognise all of it. I am to be her next...  _Host_. This is my purpose." Her nose crunched up, disgusted at the very idea of it.

That had to hurt. She was like a new pair of shoes being worn in before Flemeth slipped into them. "Older boots are always better than new ones." She coughed. "I mean, we can't let her do that."

"I agree. There is only one possible response to this. Flemeth needs to die. I will not sit around like an empty sac waiting to be filled. Flemeth must be slain and I need your help to do it."

 _Kill_  Flemeth? A Witch of the Wilds,  _The_  Witch of the Wilds... Neri's stomach flipped at the idea. Fighting Flemeth was a damned suicide mission. What if she turned into a dragon again? Being roasted alive did not sound very pleasant. Flemeth had also saved her life; it would be plain rude to stab her in the back like this.  _So stab her in the front,_ her subconscious supplied unhelpfully. She might have to; she liked Morrigan. If the witch needed her help she would do it. She would kill Flemeth for her. Neri had come to class Morrigan as a friend; they often spoke late into the night around her fire, discussing all manner of things. The witch wasn't so different to herself; they were both pragmatic, both wanting to stop the Blight, both grew up isolated from the rest of society. Morrigan was of course more cynical in nature whereas Neri was blither for the most part. But that only meant it must have taken Morrigan a great deal of courage to trust her with such a delicate matter. She had to help her.

"What do you need me to do?"

"Go back to her hut in the Wilds without me."

"You're worried she'll possess you when I slay her if you're present, yes?"

"Yes. You will need to confront her and slay her quickly. I doubt she will truly be dead even then... But it will take her years to find a new host and recover her power, if that is even possible. The thing I must have is her true Grimoire; with it I can defend against her power in the future. Everything else in her hut is yours."

The quickly part would be problematic, especially if Neri went alone. She didn't want to risk anyone else's lives if she could help it. But that would be made even harder if Flemeth knew she was coming. "You should know, when I met her last, she mentioned having an appointment to keep and Hawke took an amulet to Kirkwall. Could that have anything to do with this?"

"I do not know... It is possible she knows you are coming. But this must still be done," Morrigan said.

"Alright," she said reluctantly.

She'd need help; she was sure of it.

"I am grateful." The relief on her face was palpable. "The sooner this can be done the sooner it will set my mind at ease."

She walked away from Morrigan's tent. They were still in the Brecilian forest, but no longer with the elves. The Dalish had moved north a little and their own group had gone west. Haven was their next destination. A little detour to deal with Flemeth probably wouldn't hurt though. Arietta was still weak; she tired more quickly since the bite. Neri on the other hand was feeling better.  _Physically,_  at least.

She walked past Sten and Barkspawn; he appeared to be conversing with her dog. She smiled. Sten was a big softie really, except for when he wasn't. Metal rang out across the clearing; Leliana and Zevran were duelling one another. Zevran's tan skin glowed in the fire light. She found herself staring for far too long. She liked his hair and his long chiselled face, and his lean frame. And that voice made her melt. She smiled as she noticed the Dalish gloves on his hands. A thankful Dalish had given them to her for curing him. Zevran had been shocked at first and then very grateful for the gift. He smashed his blade into Leliana's side. Both were incredibly fast on their feet; Zevran's swipes were perhaps a little messier than Leliana's but more powerful. He did seem to be winning, but it was always hard to tell with rogues. One wrong move and your opponent would use it to their advantage, or hold it over your head as Arietta was doing with Neri.

She had barely spoken to Neri since waking up and the conversations they did have were blunt and cold. She'd never seen this unforgiving, ruthless side to the noble. It was unbearable. Arietta blamed Neri for killing the werewolves. She had ordered her not to after all. Not that Arietta would ever voice that opinion; she still had her parent's manners drilled into her. She was happy to be alive, so instead she ignored Neri or made snide remarks. Every glare or comment just made Neri feel guiltier and angrier. She could use a break from her, from everything. She could do something right for once and deal with Flemeth somehow.

She headed toward the fire; Alistair and Arietta were sat together laughing at something he had said. Neri envied their relationship. So simple and easy, neither of them was carrying around baggage or burdens from past relationships or experiences. Neri would never have what they have. She wouldn't live a normal life. Even if Albert hadn't left his mark on her, she was still a mage. She would never have children or a loving husband. All she had was her magic and the taint in her blood. Her heart ached; she missed Anders so much and she missed her friends too. Perhaps she'd visit them once they cured Eamon.

She approached her fellow Wardens. She figured Alistair would be the most useful; his Templar abilities would help against Flemeth's magic. She didn't want to risk anyone else's life though and a smaller group could sneak into the Wilds and out again more easily.

"Hey," she said as she stood over them both. Arietta looked up and rolled her eyes. Alistair smiled though.

"Hi, everything okay? I saw you talking to Morrigan way over there. Why  _does_  she always camp so far away? Not that I'm complaining of course...," he muttered.

"We need to kill Flemeth to stop her from possessing Morrigan," Neri said nonchalantly.

"What?" His mouth hung open.

She explained.

"And now you want to kill her? Are you mad?" he said frantically.

She didn't expect him to understand. He didn't exactly like Morrigan, but she hoped he would still help her.

"Perhaps."

"Neria, you're not doing this. It's a terrible idea," Arietta argued.

"It is, which is why you're staying here. Me and Alistair will go and deal with it."

"No, absolutely not!" Arietta stood to face her.

" _We only split up for high risk quests,"_ Neri said mockingly.

"Don't use my own words against me." She jabbed a finger at Neri's chest. "That was differ—"

"No, it wasn't." She pushed Ari's hand away. "And you're still recovering. We're going; you're staying."

"I'm the leader of this group and I am telling you  **not**  to do this," Arietta said as she moved closer to Neri glaring angrily.

"My mind is made up," Neri said stubbornly.

"Why do you never listen to my orders?" They glared daggers at each other.

"Do I get a say in this?" Alistair asked.

They both turned to him. "No," they said in unison. They turned back to frown at each other.

Neri relented. "Alistair, I need you and we need Morrigan. Flemeth could turn into a dragon; I'll need you to keep her busy."

"Oh great. Now I'm bait?" Alistair whined.

"Yup," she said folding her arms, daring Arietta to object.

Arietta took a deep breath. "Why just you and Alistair? Can't you take Sten and Zevran too?"

"We'll be going through the Wilds. I'd rather not draw the attention of too many watching eyes. I want to slip in and out."

The tension hovered between them, neither of them willing to back down.

"Fine," Arietta said. "But you're taking Blossom." Her face was unreadable.

"Okay." She went to walk away but turned back and said. "I'll bring Alistair back in one piece, I promise."


	22. Snow

Alistair and Neri walked in silence through the forest. The sun was high in the sky, bright rays cutting through the thick canopy of the forest above. She was still angry at Arietta;  _she saved her fucking life but she hadn't even thanked her_! She shook her head. Alistair suddenly grabbed her wrist. She went to cry out but he clamped his hand over her mouth and pointed at the clearing below them. They crouched down behind some bushes to get a better look. There were a group of armed men below them, pushing and taunting another man.

"That man is wearing the uniform of King Cailan's honour guard." Alistair informed her. One of the armed men drew his dagger. Neri tried to cast a spell in time to stop him, but he moved too fast. He stabbed the guard in the gut, knocking him to the floor.

 _Weak, weak, weak_. "Balls," Neri swore. The men turned to look at them. They all drew their swords.

"We should probably...," Alistair said.

Neri finished his sentence. "Kill them? Yeah," she said with a sigh.

Alistair charged down the hill with Blossom at his heel. His sword and shield drawn, he slammed into one soldier sending him flying into the grass. Neri lifted a long faced human up and then threw him into a tree, impaling him on a branch. Blood sputtered out of his mouth before he sagged, dead. Alistair was swiping at a man with a big nose; Neri put a glyph down on the floor at his feet to slow his movement some more. Blossom was tearing into the last guard, shredding his arm. She was a fierce hound, quiet and deadly. Neri rarely heard her bark or howl; she was just a constant presence at Arietta's side.

With the enemies dead they approached the man. He was still alive, but out-cold.

"I know him; this is Elric Maraigne. He was close with the King," Alistair said as they examined him.

Neri kicked the man in the leg. He groaned and came to. He sat up slowly. " _Thank you_ ," he croaked. "I didn't expect the Bann to notice my escape so quickly. I tried to hide here in the woods, but there wasn't time. And now I'm a dead man."

"I'm a mage," she said. The man's face lit up. "I'm not a healer though, sorry." She looked to Alistair helplessly.

The man frowned. "You were at Ostagar. You were meant to protect the King!"

_What was this? 'Blame Neri day'?_

"Well the ogre had other plans," she said bitterly.

"I was supposed to guard him too. He was my friend, you understand? You saw how it went; for me, it was either this or die in some darkspawn's belly or be hanged as a deserter."

At least she hadn't run. She stayed and fought. Not that it made much difference. "Technically, you would be dead before reaching the darkspawn's belly..."

"You deserted?" Alistair said angrily.

"I fled the battlefield when Loghain betrayed us. I abandoned my men and they died, Cailan with them. He was my King, my friend." The man sobbed.

"Sounds like you got a head start. Everyone else soon ran too at my orders. There was no winning that battle." She explained.

" _Maker_. All that time in Bann Loren's prison and I couldn't stop thinking about all they suffered that one dark night at Ostagar..."

"Well, you wouldn't have made much difference either way..."

He was old and portly; she wasn't sure how he'd help defend a wheel of cheese let alone the King.  _He'd probably just eat the cheese._

"I know. Even had Loghain's men not turned their backs on us, the darkspawn were too many. Even Cailan, for all his bravado, knew there would be no victory at Ostagar. The king entrusted me with the key to the royal arms chest. The documents in there are of great importance, he said. If anything were to happen to him, he said it was vital I deliver it to the Wardens."

"Don't suppose the key's on you then?" she asked.

"The Maker has a sense of humour, doesn't he? I suppose it's for the best; however— had I kept it, it would be in Bann Loren's hands by now."

"That's a no then. So where is it?"

"I was afraid; I thought I would lose it on the battlefield, so I stashed it in the camp. Please— it's probably still there."

"We have to go back to Ostagar?" Alistair asked, there was an edge to his voice, fear perhaps?

"The key's behind a loose stone in the base of a statue. I'll draw you a map."

He did so before dropping dead.

"How considerate of him to tell us all that before dying." She remarked.

"Come on," Alistair said as he climbed back up the hill.

* * *

They trudged through the Wilds; the ground was hard, frozen by the cold air. Her breath came out in white puffs as they walked. She was wearing all of her winter gear, but still her toes and fingers were numb. Casting spells when you couldn't feel your fingers was never easy. She rubbed them together and huffed into them.

"I wish I could summon fire on days like today," she muttered.

"I don't. I heard about you setting people's hair on fire." Alistair laughed from her side.

"Would that be so bad? You might suit being bald," She teased.

"Somehow, I don't think so. I happen to like my hair, thank you very much," he said smiling.

"I heard singed hair is _very_  popular this season," she lied.

He quirked an eyebrow. "Hear that from Leliana did you?"

" _Maybe_." She grinned.

"I really doubt the Orlesians are running around with burnt hair."

"That wouldn't even be one of their weirder trends." She chuckled.

The ground started to crunch beneath her feet. She looked down and gasped; it was white, a bright, brilliant white.  _Snow_. Flakes started to fall from the sky. It was beautiful. She'd never seen snow before. She bent down and grabbed a handful. It was cold and fluffy to the touch and immediately started to melt in her hand. She squeezed; the snow hardened, compacting into a ball. She grinned as she threw it at Alistair's head.

"Heeey!" he whined.

She laughed at him. He glared at her before grabbing a handful for himself. He hurled the ball at her, hitting her right in the face. She screamed, a mixture of shock from his hit and from the cold now dripping down her bare skin. She giggled as she threw two more at him; he dodged the first but the second hit him in the ear. He cried out and then shuddered.

"Brrrr, it's freezing!"

She hit him again; snow exploded across his chest plate. He lobbed another at her but this time she deflected it with her barrier.

"No fair!" he cried.

" _Really,_  Alistair? You have armour and a shield, you big baby!"

They chased each other through the frozen wasteland; the Wilds looked totally different covered in snow: less barren and brown, more pristine and calm. Alistair was in front of her, dodging her snowballs. She tossed a couple more; they hit him in the back. He was looking at something over the hill. She joined him.

"Oh," she said, as she took in the scene in front of her.  _Ostagar_.

The ruins rose out of the fog, tall grey towers stretching up into the even greyer sky. The snow blanketed the ground, covering the death that lay beneath. It didn't look like there had been a battle here just a month or two ago. Everything was quiet.  _Too_ quiet. Alistair was staring at the ruins, his expression unreadable. She knew how he felt though. That night had been horrendous. It haunted them both. She leant her head on Alistair's shoulder.

"Come on. Let's put this place to rest."


	23. Lessons

Snow covered many of the fallen pillars and broken walls. Some parts of the ruins were unrecognisable now, destroyed in the battle. One thing was the same though.  _Darkspawn_.

After killing the first group, Alistair plodded to her side, his armour rattling loudly. He smiled sadly at her, obviously conflicted about coming back here. She nodded at him and they walked on. They trudged through the thick snow and under an arch, stopping in front of a table.  _The_  table. The one they had all stood around while they decided their battle strategy. The King's first mistake was making  _her_  his shield. He should have picked a different mage to save his stupid ass. She had thought his optimism would help them win. Of course that was a foolish, naïve stance to have. She knew nothing of battle or war. A newly harrowed mage; weak and green as summer, she had no place on the battlefield.

"I still can't believe Loghain did this," Alistair said as he wiped the snow off the war table.

She looked at him; he was naïve too. He didn't seem to know that everyone had their own agenda, their own goals, wants, and needs.  _Only selfless people put other people's needs above their own,_  she thought bitterly.

She glanced up at him. "Everyone's out for themselves, Alistair; it's time you learnt that."

In the Circle, nobody did anything for anyone else, not without expecting something in return first. It was give and take and sometimes just take, take, take. Want to borrow a book?  _Give me your pudding for a month_. Need a Templar distracting?  _Do their chores for a year_. Everyone was selfish, only looking out for themselves because nobody else would. Of course, Neri had broken that unspoken rule the day she fell in love with Anders.  _I'd do it again though. Friends mattered; they had to_. She would die to protect those she loved. The guilt of letting something happen to them would kill her just as surely.  _What the fuck am I doing, bringing Alistair south to fight Flemeth?_

He exhaled deeply. "Yes, perhaps you're right."

She patted him on the arm. "It's okay to be a little selfish; we  _are_  stopping the Blight after all."

He chewed on his lip before speaking again. "You're saying I should think about what I want for once?"

She looked into his eyes; she could see the conflict in them. "Yes."

He scratched his temple before adjusting his winter hat. "It's funny; Wynne told me the opposite the other morning. She said Grey Wardens have to be selfless, that I should focus on the Blight instead of... other things." His cheeks started to flush and Neri immediately knew he meant Arietta.

She scoffed. "Fuck the Blight." She shook her head from side to side. "No, don't do that." She chuckled. "Maker only knows what infectious disease  _that_  would give you!" He stifled a laugh with his hand. She cleared her throat. "Look, you are a Grey Warden. So am I. So is Arietta. But we're not  _just_  Grey Wardens; that isn't the only thing that defines us or matters. The people matter.  _You_  matter."

His eyes were dark as he stared down at her, but he seemed to blink the shadows away as he nodded. "You're right. I should do what I want for a change; stop allowing myself to be bossed about. Otherwise I'll never be happy."

Her face broke into a grin. "Does that mean you and a certain blue-eyed Warden are finally going to get together?" She wiggled her eyebrows at him.

He stuttered, his mouth opening and closing a few times before he sighed. "I haven't felt this way about anyone before." He lifted a hand to rub his neck. "It terrifies me," he said with a shaky laugh.

Neri may be having some issues with Arietta at the moment but she couldn't deny that she and Alistair made a great couple. "You're good together," she reassured him. "Love  _is_  scary."

"Did I say I loved her?" He blushed. "Well, errr, yes, I suppose I do." He leant against the snowy table and stared up at the clouds above. " _Maker_. She's so beautiful."

"Well the sooner you make it official the sooner you can both be happy," Neri said, as she too leant against the table. "And who knows, if you become King, she could be your queen?" she said, as she bumped his shoulder playfully, giving him a wink.

His eyebrows disappeared under his woolly hat. "You really think they'd make  _me_  King?"

She rolled her eyes at him. "I don't see why not?"

He stood again and started to pace, his boots crunching through the snow. He turned to look at her, shaking his head. "I'm just a bastard."

"You're the only person left alive with royal blood." She started to smirk. "It might be a bit tainted..." She gave him a lopsided grin. "But it's still royal." She stood and walked through the snow up toward the familiar place at the top.

Alistair was quiet at her side and Blossom was off sniffing a pillar. He let out a sigh. "I'd be a terrible King," he muttered.

Her hat had slid down over her brow. She peeked at him through it as she adjusted it. "I'm sure there have been worse," she joked.

He let out a huff of air that floated away on the wind. "I mean it." He looked at her. "I wouldn't have the slightest idea what to do."

She gave him a shrug. "Well, killing Loghain and stopping the Blight seem like pretty good places to start." She simpered, her eyes sparkling mischievously.

He groaned at her. "Sure; it'll be easy."

She giggled softly. "Well, at least we're not alone in this now." She stopped and stared down at the ground. "When I was in Lothering, I thought you were both dead and I was tempted to simply flee because there was no way I was going to be able to defeat a Blight alone." She looked up at him; his hazel eyes were warm in the sunlight now shinning down on them. "But now look at us. Mages, elves, Redcliffe soldiers... it's the start of an army."

Blossom came and nuzzled her hand.

He rubbed at his stubble. "And after? I'd actually have to govern and rule and—"

She took a step forward. "Alistair." She placed her hands on his shoulders and stared up at him. "You can learn to be a good King; you can't learn how to be a good person."

"I— yes, I suppose you're right."

She slapped him on the shoulder and grinned. "Of course I am."

He chuckled. "Someone's feeling good about themselves."

She smiled then waved her hand dismissing his statement. "Besides, Arietta knows a lot about that governing stuff. She could help with it," she said with a wink.

"She would be an incredible Queen," he said wistfully.

She let the silence hang between them before she swallowed hard. "She's pissed off at me."

His shoulders sagged and he let out a long slow breath. "I know." He tried to give her a reassuring smile but it didn't do much to make her feel better. "I think she just needs time, maybe? I tried to tell her it wasn't your fault..."

She scoffed as she kicked up some of the snow. "She blames me. Maker,  _I_  blame me! I led the attack after all. Didn't even try to parley." She balled her fists at her side.

Alistair walked over to her and tugged her shoulder, willing her to face him. His jaw was clenched and his eyes hard. "She was our priority. You did the right thing."

She shrugged his hand off her and turned away. "Zathrian was right there, upstairs. I—" she faltered.

He moved to stand in front of her and lifted her chin with his gauntleted hand. "None of us knew, Neri." He smiled at her. "She was  _dying_." He squeezed his eyes shut. "Her screams and whimpers and all that blood..." He shook his head and she rubbed his upper arm. He opened his eyes; there was a shine to them now. "You saved her. Thank you." He kissed her head and she nodded.

She knew he was right. She knew it wasn't her fault and that she was being stupid. But it was the guilt of everything else on top of this that was sending her over the edge.

A scratching at the corner of her mind drew her attention back to a group of darkspawn now running toward them. She noticed a flash of gold on one of the hurlocks:  _Cailan's boots_. She snarled as she ran at them. "So not pulling them off!" she leered, as she threw it into a pillar.

With the darkspawn dead Alistair pulled the boots off the hurlock. "I suppose others have the rest of his armour?" she questioned.

Alistair wiped some blood off the boots and looked up at her, his face a storm of emotion. "It feels wrong, seeing his armour on them like this." His lips twitched in anger. "Let's try to find it all."

She nodded and glanced around, her eyes lingering on the mound of snow on top of the ramp. "Mind if we..."

He peered over his shoulder and nodded.

She clambered through the thick snow, her boots disappearing into the white coldness. She shivered as she pulled herself out. Alistair stepped down onto the hard stone first and reached his hand out to help her. She took it with a smile. She gasped at the view branching out in front of them. The Wilds were seeped in fog, but the sun was starting to burst through the clouds above, highlighting some of the murky trees and broken towers that reached up through the gloom. It almost looked beautiful.

A stray ray of sunshine glimmered off something on the ground. Her eyes turned to it and she sucked in air through her teeth at the sight of the silver chalice lying discarded on the floor. She bent over to pick it up, swallowing hard at the memory of the vile drink they had consumed, at the memory of Jory with a sword through his belly and Daveth clawing at his throat. She looked down at the shiny metal and her reflection shimmered back at her. She looked older now. Her face was leaner but more toned; her skin was dirty and the slight scar across her cheek made her look tough and grizzled. Her usually tame blonde curls were unruly and frizzy as they framed her face. She smiled and the woman staring back at her smiled too.

She realised what she was now. What she had always been. Tough, strong, a  _survivor_. She survived the Joining and the battle that followed, she resisted the sloth demon's magic, she battled Uldred and killed him, she saved Arietta and the elves, and she fought Witherfang alone and won. Her magic was strong; it was the one thing she could rely on, the one thing that had helped her get through it all. It was not a curse; it was a damned gift. She absolutely would not let Ser Albert's voice make her feel differently. He was gone and she was still here, still standing strong.

She heard Alistair shuffled to her side. She glanced up at him as he peered down at her. He looked at the chalice in her hands still and smiled sadly. "Do you regret joining the Wardens?"

"Not for once second," she said automatically.

In the Wardens she had freedom, a freedom she had not known before. She could feel the grass beneath her feet, the sun on her face, watch the stars twinkle in the night's sky and have snow ball fights with her friends. The Circle had been okay, before Albert, but after him it had been a prison. Her leash was short and the collar was tight. There was nothing like that with the Wardens and despite everything they had been through, she wouldn't change any of it.

She dropped the chalice to the floor and turned to leave.

They headed left into what was once the old camp. They found the key and Cailan's chest all the while battling darkspawn. Inside the chest was a huge sword of silver with green runes cast into it that glowed whenever darkspawn were near. There were also some documents that showed that Empress Celene had changed her mind about sending support; it looked to Alistair like Loghain had intervened and insulted her into not coming. Alistair had kicked the chest closed and stormed off.

She caught up to him staring up at something in the middle of the bridge. She glanced up at the familiar figure hanging from the post; his head drooped to one side, his golden hair falling over much of his face. That moment from the battle played in her mind again, the flash of gold in the ogre's hands, the splatter of red. His body discarded to the floor like litter, Duncan killing that ogre with his daggers, stabbing over and over. The utter look of defeat in his eyes as he hugged his fallen King and the more final one he gave her as her barrier crumbled to the ground.

She wiped at the tears now trickling down her cheeks.

 _This is wrong, he deserves better_.

He was not a trophy to be showed off; he was a good man. A darkspawn tickled at her mind and she turned to see a genlock spinning his hands above his head. Moments later the dead were rising all around them. Before she could kill the necromancer, it fled.

After killing the walking dead, Alistair glanced back up at the King as he wiped his brow. "We'll come back for you." He said.

She stepped out into the sunlight after fighting their way through the tower of Ishal and the tunnels below it. She sucked in air, glad to be out the darkness. They almost had all of Cailan's armour now; the necromancer they'd been tailing had the final piece: his helm. They walked down the hill and out onto the snow covered battlefield. Neri stared at the dead ogre on the floor realising this was the area she had been battling alongside the king and Duncan. Her barrier had shimmered blue against the red sky right across the breadth of the field. The tug of magic and the scratching of darkspawn drew her attention. She bristled as she walked forward to confront the necromancer. It swirled its magic above its head again but this time she cut it off, trapping it in a crushing prison.

She was vaguely aware of Alistair and Blossom fighting some other darkspawn but she only had eyes for the twisted little genlock spluttering blood across the white snow in front of her.  _I'll wipe that grin off your face,_  she thought as she fisted her hands and crushed its chest. It dropped to the floor and she yanked the helm off its head.

She stalked back over to Alistair as he cut through another darkspawn effortlessly. He looked up at her as he wiped his sword on the fabric of a hurlock's armour. He looked grimly at the helm in her hands.

"Thank you, for helping to retrieve it all," he said quietly.

She handed it to him with a nod. "We're not done here."

She scanned the area, trying to figure out where she had awoken that awful morning. Using the ogre's corpse as her best guess she started to dig through the snow. She spotted the familiar silver of his armour and uncovered the rest of his body. With the snow he was surprisingly well preserved. She grimaced remembering the chewed out eye sockets. Alistair had turned white as he stared down at his mentor's corpse.

"We'll burn them together," she said, and he nodded at her. She kicked more snow away and eventually found both of Duncan's daggers. "For you," she said, handing them to Alistair.

He reached out with a trembling hand and took them. "His daggers," Alistair breathed out.

She rubbed her hands together, trying to warm them from the snow. "I know you wanted something to remember him by..."

Alistair looked at her and clenched his jaw. "I'll keep one. I want you to have the other," he said, handing her back a blade.

She frowned down at the glistening blade, before tilting her head up to look at him. "I'm a mage... Why—"

"Witherfang nearly killed you. If it weren't for Arietta's blade being a foot away—" He gulped and shook his head, banishing the dark thoughts away. "Keep it on you, just in case."

She took it and nodded. The handle was rough in her palms but it was light; she gripped it tightly and her face hardened as she thanked him for it.  _Maybe Zevran can teach me how to_ really _use it,_ she thought.


	24. Expected.

They built a pyre for Cailan and Duncan, burning them both side by side. It wasn't much, but it was better than leaving them rotting slowly in the cold. They exited the ruins and headed deeper into the Wilds.

Their boots crunched on the snow as they trekked through the wilderness. Neri stopped and stared at their surroundings. She let out a sigh as none of it looked familiar.

Alistair stopped at her side. "We're lost, aren't we?"

She pouted and folded her arms. "Maybe just a little."

A bird chirped above them and fluttered over to the next tree then chirped again before fluttering to the next one. Neri let out a snort. "I guess it's that way."

Alistair squinted after the bird. "Is, is she expecting us?"

Neri gave him a shrug as she cut her way through the thicket.

Patches of blue sky lightened up the clouds of grey above their heads as they stopped to take a drink of water. Neri shook her waterskin, draining the last drops into her mouth. She let out a sigh as she slid it back into her pack.

Alistair tittered next to her, tapping his hands on his legs. She glanced up at him and quirked an eyebrow.

"So I have a question," he finally said.

She rose and nodded. "Go on."

"Have you completely lost your mind?" he said, waving his arms in the air.

She let out a short chuckle as she smiled at him. "Nope; I know exactly where it is." She pointed to her forehead.

He rolled his eyes. "I mean, Flemeth obviously knows we're coming. She could be leading us into a trap... Why  _are_  you helping Morrigan?"

She started to walk again, giving him her back; she lifted her shoulders up and down. "Why not?" she said as she pulled a branch back to pass by it.

"Because she's not a very nice person...," Alistair mumbled, as he walked toward her.

Neri turned on him with a scowl. "So that means she deserves to be possessed by her own mother does it?"

Alistair tilted his head to the left then right. "Well—"

"Alistair!" She whipped the branch into his face making him cry out.

He rubbed at his cheek and sighed. "No, I guess not. Still, this  _is_  Flemeth we're talking about. Didn't you say she could turn into a dragon!?"

Neri marched on ahead. "Yes."

He caught up to her and stared down at her. "So how exactly are we going to fight her?"

"Oh, I don't know; I figured if I just ask her nicely she'll lie down and we can slay her," she said glibly.

"Very funny. I'm serious."

She shrugged and looked at him her face serious. "I'm just gunna wing it." She turned away and covered her mouth with her hand, stifling her laugh at her poor joke.

"Really!? Wing it? That's your plan. Is that some sort of dragon joke?"

She chuckled. "Maker, you do go on."

Truthfully, she wasn't sure what she was going to do. It was indeed clear Flemeth was leading them to her and was waiting for them. That thought made Neri's stomach flutter. She was conflicted; she wanted to help Morrigan but looking after Alistair was going to have to come first. They needed Grey Wardens more than they needed a witch.

She walked through some familiar bushes and Flemeth's hut appeared in front of them. Neri smiled at noticing Flemeth was back in her 'old-hag' form instead of the powerful witch she'd met with Hawke.  _Perhaps she wants us to think she's not a threat._  But that could just be part of her ploy. Neri walked up to her with a slight wave.

"Me again, Flemeth," she said lightly.

The old woman regarded her with a smile. "So you return. Lovely Morrigan as at last found someone willing to dance to her tune. Such enchanting music she plays, wouldn't you say?" She chuckled.

Neri gave her a shrug, "Can't say I've heard much of her music I'm afraid; she tends to keep to herself." Neri glanced at Alistair. He stood tall with his feet shoulder width a part, his hand ready to grab his blade should he need it. It made Neri more nervous. "So, were we the appointment you had to keep?" she asked instead.

Flemeth looked her up and down, her eyes were sharp and her smile was one of a predator, Neri gulped as the witch spoke again. "Perhaps you are. How glad I am you have your Grey Warden friends," she hummed.

Neri flicked her ears back. "I see you decided to swap back to the old-hag look,  _very nice_." She chortled. "I think the old worn out look suits you...," she said with a sly smirk.

Flemeth picked up on her subtle comment immediately. "Mmm, is that so? What has Morrigan told you then? What little plan has she hatched this time?" The witch said as she folded her arms.

Neri folded her own arms. There was no point lying to her, she knew too much. "She knows how you extend your unnatural lifespan."

"That she does, the question is do you? Ahh, but it is an old, old story. One that Flemeth has heard before and even told. Let us skip right to the ending. Do you slay the old retch as Morrigan bids, or does the tale take a different turn?" She rubbed her chin.

Neri considered for a moment. She licked her lips and said. "I owe you my life, we both do. But we need Morrigan; we don't have much of a choice here."

"Choice. There is power in choices. Just as there are in lies. I shall give you one of each. Morrigan wishes my Grimoire?" She waved her arm in the direction of the hut. "Take it as a trophy; tell her I am slain."

Neri's brow furrowed as she stared down at the ground. Lie to Morrigan? The whole point of them coming here was to keep the witch safe. If she couldn't get a guarantee on that, then she would have to kill Flemeth. But if she agreed not to harm her... then it would be the best solution. Alistair would be safe, not having to fight a dragon.  _A dragon would be easier; Flemeth is a lot more powerful_.

She chewed on her lip. "I could do that…," she said still contemplating it.  _What would Ari do?_  She sighed; she would do the right thing, the noble thing. Slay the witch and save Morrigan,  _but would she put Alistair in danger_?

Flemeth's eyes gleamed. "It's far easier this way, don't you think? The lies are always more fun," she said, as her whole body shook with laughter.

"Yes, fun," Alistair drawled. "Tricking Morrigan... Oh who am I kidding, that does sound fun. I'm a bad man," he said rubbing his hands together.

Neri glared at him. "What of Morrigan? You won't try to possess her?"

Flemeth gave her a reassuring smile that did nothing to reassure her. "I will not. The book is inside the hut, with notes and spells enough to make even Morrigan blush with delight."

Neri squeezed the bridge of her nose.  _This will have to do. "_ Alright." She looked up at Flemeth. "You have a deal."

Flemeth grinned at her. "Very wise. We  **will** meet again, you and I," she said with a final chuckle.

Neri swallowed hard and frowned at her. " _Can't wait_."


	25. Ambush

She was restless, lying in bed, staring up at the worn fabric of the cloth tented over her head. The night was cold and the itchy blankets covering her did little to keep her comfortable or warm. She decided she had slept too much lately; everyone had forced her to rest; to recover. Now she was too awake to sleep. But she knew that was a lie; she still felt exhausted, the burning in her veins gone but her body still weak. No, the restlessness came from Alistair's late return. They still weren't back from Flemeth's hut. She had expected them back by nightfall, but after pacing the perimeter into the early hours it was clear they weren't coming back tonight. Leliana had eventually persuaded her to go to bed. She rolled over again trying to get comfortable.

Neri had promised to bring him back in one piece. Despite the elf's failure with the werewolves Arietta still trusted Neri enough to believe her about that. Neri was loyal but impulsive and very impatient. Ari had no doubt the elf would sooner sacrifice herself than let harm come to Alistair; she'd certainly proven herself in that regard already. But it was her impulsive, stubborn, impatient nature that had made her march off with just Alistair, without much thought or planning in the first place and now they were late coming back.

_Damn it Neri._

If it weren't for that damn elf saving her life she'd have snapped at her by now. But she  _was_  glad to be alive and didn't want to come across as ungrateful. She just wished they hadn't gone off on this ridiculous quest. Neri's magic was strong and Alistair's templar training would help but none of them had battled a  _dragon_  before. And this was Flemeth they were dealing with; super powerful Witch of the Wilds Flemeth.

She shook her head. They were either okay or they weren't; there was nothing she could do lying in her tent in the middle of the night. But that was part of the problem; if she hadn't foolishly been bitten she could've accompanied them, she would know if they were okay; she would have made  _sure_  they were okay. But being left behind made her feel helpless and that was the worst feeling of all. By the very definition of the word it meant there was nothing she could do. And yet some of her greatest guilt came from feeling helpless. Not being able to save Oren or Oriana, leaving her mother and father, being helpless to stop Howe and  _earlier_  memories; too painful to think of.

She hated inaction as much as she hated the inability to act. All her life she had pushed herself to be stronger, faster, smarter than everyone; she didn't even know why she felt the need to. Perhaps it was her mother's influence; she was such a strong woman, opinionated, wise and skilled too; she knew how to handle herself. Arietta never wanted to rely on others to get by, she never wanted her wealth to define her either. She rarely used the maids or servants, Nan was the exception; the old woman would have taken it as a slight otherwise. But she was gone too. Ari couldn't save them. The people she loved always died and she remained, alone.

She felt the scratching all too late as the shriek crashed into her tent with a deafening scream. She grappled with the darkspawn now clawing through the fabric to get to her. She grabbed her blade and stabbed up, under its chin. Pushing it off, she found her way outside. She looked around, Sten was shouting as he swung his huge greatsword in a massive arc, he cut several in half and severed another's arm. Morrigan was holding her own, her magic setting the darkspawn ablaze or freezing them solid. Wynne and Leliana were back to back, facing off against a group of five darkspawn; Wynne paralysed several, while Leliana dropped a few more with some well-placed arrows. Zevran was dancing between targets, slitting throats. Ari spun around as a hurlock swung its axe at her, she jumped back, her bare feet landing roughly on the stony ground, making her bite her lip to swallow her cry. She rolled to the side, grabbed a handful of gravel and threw them at the darkspawn; it reeled back, blinded. She buried her dagger in its eye. She was only in her nightie so her toes and fingers were already numbing in the winter air.

She heard Bodahn and Sandal shouting as they clambered up a tree. It was something she had told them to do if they ever got in to trouble at camp. Luckily the darkspawn didn't seem very interested in them. Another wave of the monsters poured out the forest.

_Where did they all come from?_

She joined Zevran, Leliana and Wynne; all of them standing in a circle to face their attackers. Her blade clashed with a genlock's and she gave it a firm kick and Zevran finished it off with a knife to its throat. A hurlock crawled toward them, blood dripping from its jaw; Barkspawn leapt onto it, burying his teeth in its shoulder. Pain flared in her own shoulder at the memory of the werewolf on top of her. She swallowed her bad memories and ran forward and grabbed the hurlock, throwing it into the hot coals of their sputtering fire. She sat on its back as she lifted its head and slit its throat.

The ground began to shake as an ogre barrelled into their camp. Its massive horns towered over her, silhouetted by the moon shining brightly behind it. The ogre roared, spitting saliva and blood from its massive maw. Its eyes locked onto Arietta, then it charged. She waited for it to get close before diving to the side. She skidded into the cold ground, her night-gown ripping on the loose gravel. She leapt back to her feet waiting for an opening as Sten sliced at the ogre's legs and Morrigan turned the air to ice. The ogre howled its frustration, smashing an arm into Sten, sending him flying into the trees. The monsters legs broke free of the ice and it charged at Arietta again. She held her ground again waiting for it to get closer. Something slammed into her side, knocking her to the floor. She swung her dagger around but Zevran disarmed her. She frowned, realising he was the one who tackled her to the floor. She looked back at the ogre; it had changed direction, charging to the spot she would have dodged to. Zevran had saved her life by tackling her the other way.

"Thanks." Her breath came out in rapid white puffs as he pulled her to her feet.

_Could the darkspawn see her thoughts? Understand them?_

The ogre thrashed violently, destroying much of their camp in its rampage, blinded by Leliana's arrows.

Arietta picked up a sword. "Have more at the ready." She said to Zevran. He nodded.

She waited for the ogre to turn its back to her, before she ran at it. She grabbed hold of its armour and clambered up its back; once at the top she reached up and slammed the blade into its thick neck; cutting deep into its spine. The ogre crumpled to its knees, writhing in agony. She raised her arm and caught another sword, stabbing that into its shoulder. Leliana shot more arrows into the creature's face. It roared and shook against her as she jumped off and rolled across the floor picking up another sword as she did so.

_One final blade should do it._

She stood in front of it, waiting for it to open its mouth. It obliged, with a blood curdling roar and she took that moment to ram the blade up through its mouth and into its brain. The ogre fell to the floor and the scratching in her mind fell silent.

She took in the scene around them. The camp was in ruins; their tents and supplies were scattered across the hard ground, most too damaged to be salvageable. She kicked a dented pot across the floor, her fists clenched at her side. Wynne, Leliana and Zevran helped Sten back into the clearing, he had a nasty wound on his head but apart from that didn't look too injured.

"The darkspawn corpses are a nice touch." Neri said from behind her, making her jump a little and spin. Her surprise turned to annoyance.

She scowled at the elf. "Where have you been!?"

Alistair stepped out of the tree line with Blossom. Relief flooded through Arietta. "We came as soon as we could. They ambushed us too." He hugged her. "Are you okay?" he asked, as she leant into his touch, some of the stress of the night easing.

"Yeah. I'm glad you're back though." She hugged him a little tighter.

"You make fun of me for fighting in short robes but I've never battled darkspawn in a night gown before!" Neri chuckled.

She pulled away from Alistair and looked down at her gown. It was splattered in blood, and ripped all down the front. She started to blush.

"Here." Alistair pulled off his thick winter coat and placed it around her.

She hugged the fabric close to her; it smelt of him. "Thank you."

A smile played at his lips. "Sorry we took so long. We had to go back to Ostagar first."

She raised an eyebrow as he went on to explain.


	26. Surprise

She was sick of surprises; Howe, Loghain, the undead at Redcliffe, the abominations and blood mages at the Tower, the werewolves in the ruins. The ambush. The documents Alistair found at Ostagar, the darkspawn wearing the King's armour. It was all horrific and that was just the beginning.

They left camp early the next day, wanting to get out of the area. Instead they'd been ambushed a second time, by a group of mercenaries. Ari spared them at Leliana's request. They were just paid swords, bought by Marjolaine; an old  _friend_  of Leliana's. Arettai had known the chantry sister wasn't telling the whole truth about her past, but learning she was a bard had surprised her however. Leliana had fled Orlais, after being betrayed by Marjolaine, and come to the Chantry in Lothering seeking refuge. Ari wished she could disappear sometimes; just run away from it all. She always wanted to be a Grey Warden, but this was not how she imagined it being. They seemed to be spending most of their time dealing with other people's problems, without ever really solving any of their own. They would need to confront Marjolaine in Denerim at some point; just one more thing on their to-do list.

More darkspawn had also attacked them; this far south they seemed to be everywhere. Their entire group was weary from all the fighting. They were keeping one Warden awake at all times, which meant Alistair, Neri and Arietta were exhausted, especially as they were being attacked every few hours by the monsters. By the time they reached Haven they were all feeling groggy and irritable; a dangerous combination when fighting their way through an ancient mountain temple.

They had found Haven without too much difficulty. The man that greeted them didn't seem very keen for them to linger. She hadn't let that put her off though, as Genitivi and the Ashes were too important. Sten had confronted her, not understanding how this helped them at all. She had explained as best she could, telling him they would never defeat the Blight without powerful political allies. He finally relented and they had continued through the village. It became clear very quickly how messed up Haven was; there was blood in the back room of the local store, and the town's people attacked them.

They found Genitivi with a broken leg in the side room of Haven's bizarre Chantry. With his help they had reached the temple, from there they had left him to go exploring in search of the Urn. They battled their way through cultists that believed Andraste had returned in the form of a high dragon. Their leader Kolgrim had even asked her to defile the Ashes so that this new Andraste could realise her new form. It was all completely absurd and everyone was pretty beat up; Alistair had been thrown into a wall; smacking his head, Zevran had twisted his ankle, Leliana had taken an arrow to her shoulder and Arietta had a few cracked ribs from Kolgrim's battleaxe smashing into her side.

With them all dead they had finally climbed to the mountain peak.

The wind howled around her, blowing her brown waves over her face. The final surprise came soaring over them as they walked across the peak. They all gasped as it roared overhead, its huge wings flapping gracefully. The high dragon landed on ledge far away from them, her skin shimmering as the afternoon sun reflected off her purple scales. She rested her head and closed her eyes, and they all let out a collective sigh of relief that they wouldn't need to fight that today too.

They headed across the land bridge, treading carefully on the icy ground, to the second peak on the other side. Ari was breathless and every bone in her body ached. She wanted nothing more than to just lie down in a nice comfy bed back in Highever, curled up with Blossom with the birds singing outside her window.

 _GWOOOOOOONG_ came the very loud echo of something across the mountainside.

They all turned to see Neri standing by the gong as she flashed them a smile. Ari's eyes bulged, realising what the elf had done. That gong summoned the dragon... Sure enough the beast roared as it flew toward their group.

"Why the fuck did you hit that!?" Arietta screamed.

Neri shrugged. "Practice."

"For what!?"

"For old Archie!" Neri said as she leapt behind a rock just before the dragon came crashing down onto the ground behind her.

_Damn it Neri._

"Alistair, Sten take point, Neri protect them!" She drew her bow and dived behind the rock with Neri. "Wynne, keep everyone alive. Morrigan, freeze its legs. Zevran, see if poison works."

She turned to look at Neri. "We're exhausted... That was the stupidest thing-"

"Right, because we're going to be wide awake and full of energy after fighting our way through the entire  _darkspawn horde_  to kill the Archdemon." Neri drawled.

Arietta frowned. The elf had a point. But she could have given them some damn warning! And if they died here fighting this dragon then none of them would reach the Archdemon.

She fired arrows at the dragon's eyes, it spat fire right at their rock but Neri's barrier shimmered and stopped the flames. Alistair and Sten were being knocked about by the dragon's legs as it stomped around.

She glanced back at Neri. "Can you throw the dragon around?"

"She's pretty big..." The elf said shrugging.

"So your magic is useless then?" She rolled her eyes at her. " _Wonderful_."

The elf's ears flicked back and she frowned, looking hurt.  _Good._  This was her bloody idea, another poor decision, one that could have dire consequences for all of them.

Ari slammed her fist into the stone. "If anybody gets hurt because of  _you_. I swear..."

She shook her head then took a deep breath and jumped out from the rock and let fly more arrows.

 _Use your anger, focus it on your target, pup_. She heard her father's voice in her head.

The ground shook as the dragon stomped its feet again; the beast inhaled, about to send a blast of flame across the mountaintop. Ari glanced across the peak and saw Zevran dazed and struggling to get into cover, she ran at him just as the fire erupted out of the dragon's mouth and tackled him to the floor. Neri's barrier shimmered around them, taking the brunt of the flames.

He sighed contently "Ah, what a beautiful sight on top of me." He said with a laugh.

She rolled her eyes. "Just returning the favour."

She grimaced as she stood back up, her rib complaining. The dragon roared, deafening them all.

"Aim for its head!" She ordered. It was their only chance at killing it.

"That is easier said than done!" Sten shouted.

"And he's the tall one." Complained Alistair.

Leliana fired an arrow up its nostril and the dragon raged, fire exploding out its mouth as its tail swept around, knocking most of their group to the floor. The dragon kicked Alistair as it launched back into the air, sending him flying backward. He crashed down on the edge of the cliff, sliding across the icy floor. Ari's heart was in her throat, stopping her from crying out. Instead she raced toward him and grabbed his hand just as he skidded over the edge. She struggled desperately to pull him back up, her broken ribs not helping at all as pain flared through her chest.

His fingers started to slip through her own.

"Alistair!" She cried.

He was scrabbling at the rocks, trying to hold on but his heavy boots were slipping on the ice. She slipped forward, about to fall off the cliff with him.

_No, no, no._

Suddenly Sten was there, pulling them both up.

She threw herself into Alistair's arms, refusing to let go.

" _Maker_." He breathed against her neck.

"Warden..." Sten said, he sounded disturbed.

She looked at him and his eyes were wide, staring at something behind her.

She pulled herself from Alistair and turned to see what he was looking at. Her jaw fell open as she took in the scene in front of her.

Half of the mountainside was floating in the air; a whirlwind of stones, boulders and rocks spinning in the wind as they slammed into the dragon. A particularly large rock smashed into the dragon's jaw with a loud crack sending blood splattering onto the snowy ground. The dragon batted its wings in an attempt to escape the onslaught but they were twisted and snapped from the rockstorm surrounding her.

And in front of her, standing amidst the chaos howling around her was Neri. Her hair was a wild storm of blonde, raging as the wind ripped through her. She swung her arm forward, a massive boulder slamming into the dragons snout, dazing it. The dragon shook, its mouth opened and molten liquid flooded out, but the torrent of flame crashed into Neri's barrier, pouring over and around it. Neri clapped her hands together and the dragon's mouth slammed shut causing smoke to pour out its nose at her unfinished attack.

The dragon shook violently trying to open its mouth again but Neri lifted her arms into the air then slammed them back down, the dragon dropped to the floor, its head smacking into the icy ground with a thud. The boulders all dropped to the ground; rumbling as they tumbled down the cliffs. Neri's shoulders sagged as she dragged herself forward. She drew her sword; one she had found in the ruins, a lightweight thing of white silver with blue runes cast into it.

She stood over the dragon's head and glanced over at Arietta with a grim look on her face. Her cloak billowed around her and her golden curls fluttered in the wind as she turned back to look at the dragon, lifting her arms up before plunging her sword deep into the dragon's skull.

They all stood on the scorched ground of the mountain peak in silence as the wind whistled around them. Neri pulled the sword out of the dragon's head and stalked over to them, throwing the sword down at Arietta's feet.

"My magic is  **not**  useless." She spat as she pushed past them toward the temple.

Arietta's mouth hung open; she felt like she'd just been slapped. "Hey!" She shouted after the elf.

Neri turned to face her. "What!? You going to give me some big speech now? You're so very good at them after all," she snarled.

Ari's brows crashed together into a glare. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you can talk your way out of any situation, unless you're unconscious!" She flung her arms in the air. "You've been giving me shit ever since the Dalish. You were  _dying_. I didn't have a choice."

Arietta shook her head. "There's always a choice! You could have parleyed! Zathrian was right there, was he not?"

"I didn't know that at the bloody time. Sorry for thinking your life was more important than some fucking werewolves!" She crossed her arms and scowled at her.

"I told you not to kill them. You didn't even try." Arietta hissed.

"Stop blaming me when it's yourself you're pissed at.  _You_  got bit.  _You_  weren't able to lead and talk to them. That is not  _my_  fault. I saved your fucking life and you haven't even thanked me!"

"I..." Her words faltered.

"Yeah, thought so." Neri said with a disgusted snort as she folded her arms.

Neri was right. She had been blaming the elf this entire time; using the elf as a scapegoat when it was herself she was angry with. But the werewolf attack wasn't anyone's fault, it was an unfortunate accident; one nobody had any control over. She never should have ignored or mistreated Neri and she should have thanked her for saving her life she realised; that was the most out of character thing Arietta had ever done.

Drawing the dragon's attention however, had been deliberate. Neri nearly got them all killed and that was all because of Neria's carefree, impulsive attitude.

She took a deep breath, her anger gone. "Okay, I'm sorry I blamed you, the werewolf attack was out of our control and you did your best in a shitty situation and I should have thanked you for saving my life."

The elf looked ready to interrupt but Arietta held up her hand and continued. "That doesn't excuse what you just did though. Drawing that dragon into battle while we were all weak was impulsive and reckless. What if we all died, who would stop the Blight then?"

Neria opened and closed her mouth a few times before frowning; realising how foolish she'd also been.

"So we're both tits." Neria shrugged. "Magic is all I have Arietta, without it I am nothing. To hear you call it useless…" She trailed off.

"It's not all you have Neri." Arietta stroked the elf's arm.

Neria batted it away. "Isn't it?" She glared. "I'm not you, okay? I'm not little miss perfect. I can't do the whole charming, silver-tongued diplomacy thing. I don't have the fucking patience for it." She laughed bitterly and looked down at the ground. "I'm not particularly good at anything,  _except_  magic." When she looked back up there was a fire in her eyes the likes of which Arietta had never seen before. "So don't you  **dare**  call it useless."

Arietta exhaled deeply. "I'm not perfect Neria. I try to save lives, to help people… I wanted to help the werewolves because there's been so much death recently. I've had enough of it all; for once I just wanted things to go well. I'm sorry I called your magic useless, it most certainly is not. You're the most incredible mage I've ever met."

Neria's lips twitched as she tried not to smile. "That's not saying much." She folded her arms. "You've only met Wynne, Morrigan, myself and a handful of Circle mages."

Ari shook her head exasperated. "Well, none of them could do what you just did; you hit the dragon over the head with half the damn mountain!" She started to chuckle.

"It's true, your magic is quite remarkable," Wynne added.

" _And_..." Neria prompted.

Arietta laughed as she rolled her eyes. " _And_  you're the bravest, most loyal friend I've ever had."

Neri snorted and tried to look offended but it didn't really work. "Oh, so now I'm a dog?"

"You're certainly as talkative as one." She stuck her tongue out at her. "Seriously though, I wouldn't be here without you."

"That's more like it." Neria said as her face broke into a grin.

Arietta let out a sigh; glad that they had cleared the air. "Friends again?"

The elf smirked but nodded. "Friends."

They hugged each other briefly before pulling away and clearing their throats.

"Alright. We need to find that Urn," Arietta said looking around at the others.


	27. Brother

Zevran and Neria remained outside with Sten to strip the high dragon for parts; the assassin wanted to make armour from its scales, and Arietta was sure the mage was too exhausted to carry on after killing the damn thing all by herself.

Arietta pushed open the doors to the temple and strolled forward. A man shimmered into view and greeted them. He informed them that he was the Guardian of the Urn and this temple. He explained that they would need to pass the Gauntlet to reach the Ashes and he needed to ask her a question before they could begin.

"I am ready, ask your question Guardian." Arietta said.

"I see the path that led you here was not easy. There is suffering in your past: your suffering and the suffering of others. You abandoned your father and mother, leaving them in the hands of Rendon Howe, knowing he would show no mercy. Do you think you failed your parents?" he asked.

For months after their deaths she did, and she had handled it poorly. She had covered up the pain and the hurt by distracting herself with the helping of others, but ignoring a wound such as that is foolish; it begins to fester and rot, until your entire body is corrupted and sick with guilt and grief. She realised now that she needed to admit how hurt she was, accept the past and move on. She did everything in her power to save her parents but in the end it hadn't been enough, but that wasn't her fault and dying alongside them would have accomplished nothing.

"No. I did everything I could; staying would only have led to my death too."

The Guardian questioned the other members of her group before letting them pass into the temple; they had then answered a series of riddles before the next set of doors opened to reveal her father.

"My dearest child." Bryce Cousland smiled at her.

"Father?" She gasped.

"You know that I am gone and all your prayers and wishes will not bring me back." He smiled sadly.

Her shoulders sagged at the realisation that he was just an echo; another spirit with a message.

"No more must you grieve my girl. Take the pain and the guilt, acknowledge it and let it go; just as we did before. It is time. You have such a long road ahead of you and you must be prepared and so I leave this in your hands." She took the amulet from him with trembling fingers. "I know you will do great things with it." He said as he faded from view.

She looked down at the amulet in her hand and for a fleeting second she thought she could see her mother and father smiling at her; and others too, long since dead. She nodded resolutely. She needed a clear head to stop the Blight; remaining in the past would do her no good. She needed to look forward.

The next room held spectres of themselves; mirrored versions from their pasts. Arietta's spectre was a jolly youthful teen with long brown hair flowing down her back, Alistair's was an unhappy man in Templar armour.

Arietta's spectre ran at her with her daggers drawn, Arietta rolled her eyes at her brash attack and dodged easily. She kicked out with her leg and the spectre fell to the floor, Arietta slammed her daggers into its back and it disappeared. She didn't think it was a coincidence that they had to fight these apparitions, it was another test to see if they could overcome their pasts.

She glanced around to see Alistair slamming his shield into the youthful Templar. Alistair looked a monster in Cailan's armour and towered over the young Templar. In a matter of minutes the Templar crumpled to the floor and faded away. The others were experiencing similar battles; it was easy fighting these spectres because their younger selves were weak compared to their skill level now. This was more of a psychological test; seeing your past selves was supposed to trip you up and make the fight more difficult.

Seeing how happy her spectre had been didn't faze her though, her past self had yet to live through all the pain of the next few years, whereas Arietta was on the other side of it; able to finally move on.

The next room held a rather complex stepping stone puzzle that required all of them working together to get across, but they worked as a team and finally figured it out.

And then she stood staring at the flames just in front of her. The first step was always the hardest; her first step out of Highever as a child had been one of excitement and trepidation, the thrill of seeing the outside world for the first time mixed with the fear of the unknown. The first step out the pantry exit, as her father lay dying, had been the most difficult step she had ever taken; grief and pain weighed heavy on her shoulders, anchoring her to the floor.

But this next step meant she needed to leave everything behind her. She knew she had to do it; she wanted to, but actually taking that step was harder than she ever thought it would be. She took a deep breath and Alistair moved to stand beside her. He reached down and took her hand in his and gave her a smile. That was all she needed; the final push.

They stepped into the flames and retrieved the Ashes.

* * *

She took the stairs two at a time, rushing through the doors of Redcliffe castle and spinning around the corner into the main hall. She slammed into someone and nearly knocked them off their feet.

"I'm so-" She stopped mid-sentence realising who it was. He looked so different with a thick beard and long hair. She made a strange whimpering noise before bursting into tears and hugging him.

" _Etta_." Her brother whispered against her neck. She squeezed him tighter as the tears fell down her cheeks. "It's good to see you, sis." Fergus said.

"I thought-" She took a shaky breath. "I thought you were dead!"

"It was a close thing." He exhaled. "We can catch up shortly; Teagan has been ripping out his hair waiting for your return." His lips turned up into a smile but it didn't reach his eyes. His face looked haunted, she realised and his eyes were dark and sad.  _He knows._  Teagan must have told him.

"I-okay." She said reluctantly.

"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere." He kissed her forehead and took his leave.

* * *

Arl Eamon was awake and well; the Ashes had been successful. Arietta had left Teagan to fill the poor man in. There was a lot to tell him, and similarly Arietta needed to speak to her brother about…  _everything_. She found him in the study with Blossom. Fergus was crouched down, scratching her mabari's chin as Blossom wagged her tail furiously.

"You look good, girl." Fergus said to Blossom.

Arietta leant against the doorway and started to smirk. "What about me, Gus?" She teased.

He looked up at her and laughed. "Oh you are rotten. You haven't called me that since-"

"The Great Hairscape." They said in unison before bursting into a fit of laughter.

They'd only been 12 and 15 at the time; they were being dragged to some boring dinner, and neither of them wanted to go because the circus was in town. Fergus hatched a plan, deciding to shave his head straight down the middle, so their parents would be too embarrassed to take him. Arietta had joined in, shaving the front half of her hair off entirely. She looked completely ridiculous, which was the point, of course. With their new appearances, Fergus decided they looked no different than the circus clowns, so they decided to take their plan one step further and sneak out the castle to join the circus.

They reached the clowns without much trouble; their big tent was visible from almost every street in Highever, perched atop the hill overlooking the sea. They ran toward it together, with Blossom at their heel; she was just a pup then, barely a year old.

 _"And who are you menna be?"_ a clown asked as he rested his hands on his hips and peered down at them through his big red hair.

 _"This is Gus, and I'm Etta," s_ he said _._ Fergus quirked his eyebrow; she elbowed him and he went along with it _._

 _"We're here to join the circus!"_ Her brother exclaimed.

The clown eyed them curiously. " _That so? What do you do then?"_

 _"We err..."_ Fergus hesitated _._

 _"We can sing and dance!"_ She explained _._

The clown guffawed. " _If I wanted singers or dancers I'd have started a theatre. What else you do?"_

 _"I can fight anything!"_ Fergus said enthusiastically.

 _"Awfully small, aren't yah?"_ The clown questioned.

Fergus folded his arms _. "No. You're just big."_

The clown's bright red eyebrows drew together to form one long brow. " _Aren't_ you _a little_ young _?"_

 _"You're just old."_ Fergus countered _._

 _"I am, got a better head o' hair than you though boy."_ He let out a deep booming laugh as he mussed Fergus' hair.

Fergus looked at the ground and shuffled his feet. _"I shaved it."_

The clown laughed loudly again _. "Why'd yah do that?"_

 _"I didn't want to go to dinner,"_ he admitted.

 _"Fergus! I mean Gus..."_ Arietta squeaked.

The clown rubbed his chin. _"I see. And what sort o' dinner would that be then?"_

_"Some boring nobles came to town. They always force us to go."_

_"Shut up dummy,"_ she said to her brother. He was ruining it.

 _"Hold on a moment."_ The clown walked over to another clown; one with bright blue hair. He came back over with a huge grin on his face. _"Alright, you can join the circus, but only for tonight. Let's find you some outfits."_

 _"You look good, girl."_ Fergus said to Blossom, who was now dressed in a pretty pink dress with fluffy white boots and a pink ribbon tied around her head.

 _"What about me, Gus?"_ Arietta asked as she spun around in a puffy blue dress.

He grinned at her. _"You look great, Etta."_

They had helped with the show, collecting donations mostly, going around each row asking for coin. Ari had been shocked when her father dropped a coin into her bowl; somehow he had found them. He didn't look mad though, just relieved to see her.

 _"Shouldn't you carry on collecting donations miss?"_ He had smiled at her.

They both laughed at the memory.

"Father gave us quite the lecture when he finally dragged us home after the show." Fergus chuckled.

"He did. I was cleaning pots for a month!"

Fergus snorted and stood back up. "You think that was bad? I wasn't allowed in the yard to train for three."

Their laughter trailed off; both realising how much had changed since then.

"I miss them." Arietta scowled.

"Yeah, me too; I still can't believe they're gone." He sighed. "I was the one marching off to war. I never thought..." He frowned down at the stone floor.

She walked forward and hugged him. "I'm so sorry about Oren and Oriana."

When he pulled away she could see tears in his eyes. "Did they suffer?" he asked quietly.

She cupped his face. "It was quick; too quick for me to save them."

They hugged again, just holding each other as the silence hung between them.

He pulled back and wiped his nose. "And now you're a Grey Warden." A weary smile played on his lips.

"Yeah, it's certainly been interesting so far, and what happened to you? I looked for you at Ostagar…"

"We got held up in the Wilds, and by the time we made it back to Ostagar the battle was over, nobody was left. We fled to Lothering and met up with a lot of other soldiers, they said they managed to escape because of some crazy mage putting a barrier up... Then the darkspawn came again. I was badly hurt but one of my men carried me to safety. Everything after was a rush of moving around the countryside trying to outrun the horde. Once I recovered enough I brought them all here."

She smiled at him, "that crazy mage was Neri; she's a Warden too."

He shook his head in disbelief. "Remind me to thank her then." Arietta nodded. "Teagan told me everything you did, saving the village, saving Connor; and now you've cured Arl Eamon." His eyes were bursting with pride. "I always knew you'd do great things."

Her hands were restless at her sides. "Keeping busy helped with… everything."

He squeezed her shoulder. "I want to take it back," he said suddenly. She cocked her head to the side and he went on to explain. "Highever, I mean."

Her eyebrows shot up and she gasped.

"Teagan told me that Howe has gone to Denerim, leaving only a token force at the castle," Fergus explained.

She took a step back and chewed on her lip. It shouldn't have surprised her that he would want to do this. Fergus hadn't been there when it was attacked and he'd only recently found out about it all; he needed closure. But she already  _had_  closure and going back there wouldn't bring their parents back.

"Fergus…"

"We know the castle better than anyone; we can sneak in, take out the men and secure it, Teagan even offered me some of his knights."

It would work; they could do it easily, especially if they had someone like Neri with them to help. But just because they  _could_ , didn't mean they  _should_. It was just a building now; a building they didn't have the men to hold or the time to take. She was a Grey Warden and needed to think logically not emotionally.

"Fergus, I want our home back just as much as you do, but I can't help you do this. I'm a Grey Warden now; getting these treaties and stopping the Blight is the most important thing right now. That castle gains us nothing; the men once loyal to us are dead or fled, the people we cared about are all gone; Howe took no prisoners and we cleared out the vault before leaving; there is nothing of value worth retaking. There is nothing for me there and there's nothing there for you either; going there and killing some of Howe's guards will not bring our parents back, or make you feel any better. I promise you once I take down Loghain, Howe will pay and Highever will be returned to us. You'll become Teyrn."

He frowned at her. "I didn't think you would oppose this idea so strongly…"

She smiled sadly at him. "If you had found me a month ago I may not have, but I'm different now, I have to focus on the Blight. If you still want to take the castle back, I won't stop you, but I can't help you either. I'll be leaving soon, for Orzammar, and it would be nice to know you won't be putting yourself in harm's way while I'm gone."

He folded his arms and tensed up. "There's really no convincing you?"

She sighed. "No, there's really not."

He ran a hand through his hair and exhaled. "I won't leave while you are away, but I  _will_  talk to Arl Eamon and Bann Teagan about this some more."

She nodded.


	28. Love

The lake shimmered below her; the moon reflected perfectly in the crystal calm waters. The air was still and crisp and the night's sky was a dazzling display of twinkling lights and swirls of colour. She breathed it all in with a smile on her face.

She stood on the balcony of her chambers with a glass of wine in her right hand and her left arm was linked with Alistair's. He was wearing a gorgeous, fitted, velvet doublet of gold and blue. She too had changed into fancier clothes, opting for one of Isolde's long silver silk gowns. Her hair fell in a braid down her back as she leant her head against Alistair's shoulder.

She had spoken with her brother for some time before being pulled away from him to talk with Arl Eamon, who had thanked her for saving not only his life but the lives of his wife and son and for protecting the village. They had discussed their plans; Eamon thought it best to organise a Landsmeet to end the civil war threatening to rip Ferelden apart before turning their attention to the Blight. He had also suggested that Alistair be crowned King when it was all over, and to her surprise, Alistair hadn't been particularly shocked by that idea, or opposed to it.

She peered up at him as he stared out into the lake; he looked down at her when he saw her looking and smiled. "Do you want to be King?" She asked.

He took a deep breath and stared out at the lake again. "I'm willing to do it, if Eamon thinks it's for the best."

She lifted her head and looked at him properly. "You told me you didn't want to be King." She cocked her head to the side. "What changed your mind?"

He turned to look at her and a smile tugged at his lips. "Honestly?" Arietta nodded her head. "Neri did." Both her eyebrows leapt up at that. He continued. "When we were at Ostagar, she brought it up and convinced me to consider it." He shrugged.

She laughed a little. "She must have a smoother tongue than she lets on."

Arietta would need to thank the elf, she was full of surprises.

"I think she's learnt a lot from  _you,_  dear." Alistair nudged her playfully and she grinned at him.

"I think you'd be a good King," she said more seriously.

He gave her a crooked smile. "I'd be better with you at my side."

She gasped and was about to speak but he put a finger to her lips. "I love you and I can't imagine my life without you at my side, I don't want to. When that werewolf bit you…" He took a shaky breath and she squeezed his hand. "It destroyed me.  _Maker_ , if anything were to happen to you…" He squeezed his eyes shut.

Arietta cupped his face and he opened his eyes to stare down at her, she gave him a loving smile. "I love you too, Alistair." She stroked his cheek with her thumb. "When you went off to fight Flemeth, I was a mess, and then you came back late and I feared the worst." She swallowed hard.

He smiled playfully at her. "Well, I guess from now on we should just stay closer together, hmm?" His hand snaked around her waist and pulled her into him.

Her entire body tingled at his touch, like electricity was racing through her, straight to the heat between her legs.

She gave him an impish smile. "The closer the better." She ran a hand up his chest.

He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. She licked her lips and he leant down to kiss her; his lips closed over her mouth gently and she moaned into his mouth.

Her heart was fluttering wildly and she was gasping for breath when they pulled apart. He cupped her face with both his hands and stared down at her.

"Maker's Breath, but you're beautiful. I am a lucky man," he whispered.

She flashed him a smile and kissed him again; more passionate this time, her hands tugged on his hair pulling him closer to deepen their kiss. His hands roamed over her body and squeezed her ass making her moan. He lifted her up and placed her on the balcony wall as he kissed his way down her neck. She spread her legs so he could stand between them; as he kissed her lips again, she opened her mouth to him and their tongues swirled together. His cock was pressed against her stomach and her own desire was growing into an insistent throbbing. They pulled away again and despite the cold air she could feel the flush on her skin.

She smiled and ran a finger lightly over the tent in his breeches; his cock twitched beneath her finger and Alistair groaned, "Maker."

"Try to remember my name, love." She giggled.

He leant down to kiss her again but their noses knocked into one another.

"Oww," she laughed.

"Let's try that again," he said awkwardly as he cupped her face.

His lips found hers and she hummed into his mouth. He fumbled with the sleeves of her dress and finally moved the fabric down enough for a breast to bounce free. He broke their kiss and looked down at her and groaned at the sight of her perky breast. Tentatively, he lifted his hand to massage it; eliciting a gasp from her. She pulled her dress down further and her other breast broke free.

They continued to kiss as their hands explored one another. Arietta felt her way up his washer-board abs and across his broad shoulders, then down his back as one of his hands massaged her breasts while the other untied her braid. He gasped as she slid her hand up his doublet and up his muscled stomach. He groaned and started to kiss the side of her lip, her jaw, her neck; slowly moving down to her breasts. She arched her back into him as he took a nipple in his mouth and then screamed as she started to fall off the balcony. Alistair wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into him.

They both laughed awkwardly. "Perhaps we should move to the bedroom, my dear?" Alistair asked.

She giggled and nodded her head. In one quick motion he lifted her up and carried her to the bed. He placed her down softly and lit a few candles while she sat nervously on the covers. She rubbed her palms on her dress and fiddled with her hair as he walked back over and sat beside her. She could tell he was nervous too; his hands had a slight tremor and his shoulders were tense.

She pulled him to sit next to her so his back was against the headboard then she straddled him. His breathing was ragged as she leant down to kiss him slowly as she buried a hand in his hair. He moaned softly against her and began to relax. His hand stroked up her thigh; pushing the fabric of her dress out the way while the other squeezed and tugged on her nipple. Their kissing became more desperate and her hips started to rock back and forth over the hardness in his trousers.

He lifted up her dress but it got stuck around her head as he tried to remove it; she laughed and helped him tug it off. Alistair drank her in with a moan, and their lips crashed together again. She groaned into his mouth as he ran his hands up the bare skin of her back and she continued to rock into him. The velvet of his doublet felt so good against her sensitive skin. He fumbled with the fastenings of his doublet and finally shrugged out of it. Arietta began unbuttoning his undershirt; she could feel his chest hair beneath her fingers and she quickened her pace to remove it. Finally it was off and her bare skin pressed against his as she deepened their kiss. Slowly she moved her hand down to unfasten his breeches.

He pulled away gasping for breath and looked at her. "Are you sure? Is this too fast?"

"Alistair," she breathed, "I want to spend the night with you."

He smiled and helped her unfasten his breeches, he pushed them and his smalls down and his cock sprang out; Arietta had to bite down on her lip to stop from moaning loudly.

She slid off his lap so he could kick his trousers off. She lay on her back and he slowly kissed his way up her body, starting at her toes and moving up her calves; he kissed her thighs then her navel, before his tongue found her hard nipples and circled them once more. Her hips bucked up against him, and his cock stirred against her stomach. She ran a finger up it and Alistair groaned against her breasts. Gently she took his cock in her hand and began to stroke, making him shudder against her. His breathing became even more ragged as she sped up her strokes. He looked up at her with black eyes, and her entire body quivered under his gaze.

He kissed his way back down her body and her hands were forced to stroke his hair instead. He kissed her navel again, then the outside of her thighs, then the inside. Very carefully he pulled her panties down and he groaned as the light brown hair between her legs became visible. He pulled her panties down the rest of her legs and they both stared at each other for a moment. He was gorgeous, every inch of him.

"I love you," she whispered.

He moved over her again and kissed her as his hand pushed through her folds. He gasped at her wetness and she groaned into his mouth. She pushed her hips up into his hand as he ran his fingers up and down her slit.

"There," she gasped as his fingers found a sweet spot at the top of her sex. He circled the throbbing nub and she whimpered against him.

"Please," she breathed. He shifted position, his cock pressing on her folds. She used her hand to guide him down to her entrance and he pushed his cock into her. Her hands dug into his back as he filled and stretched her.

He paused. "Am I hurting you?"

"Don't stop," she moaned.

With that he pulled out then thrust back in as her hips rose to greet him.

Their movements became more frenzied and their pace quickened. He groaned as his cock slipped out of her but she grabbed it and guided it back in. Her entire body was trembling and she could feel her muscles tightening around his cock with each desperate thrust.

Her orgasm exploded through her, and she cried out his name. She convulsed against him, then he came with a grunt as his seed poured into her.

The world came back into focus and she stroked Alistair's hair. She hummed at the feel of his lips on her neck, as he kissed her and whispered, "I love you."

Very slowly he pulled out of her and she sucked in air through her teeth. "There's blood, I'm so sorry," he fretted.

She sat up and looked at the drops on the covers. She felt sore but it was a good kind of sore. "Alistair it's fine, I'm okay. That was incredible." She smiled.

He seemed to calm down a little and a smile tugged at his lips, "Yes it was. Maker, I love you so much."

She pulled him back to her side and he lay down next to her. She snuggled up against him and fell asleep with her head resting on his chest, listening to his beating heart.


	29. Thanks

They were laughing, a grotesque rattle that sent shivers down her spine. Their barbaric teeth ripped into the fleshy meat and they laughed some more; this time with blood and stringy muscle stuck in their razor sharp teeth. There was a genlock to her right, a hurlock to her left, two shrieks on each side of them and finally an ogre sat at the end of the table, with its knees bent up to its chest as it sipped on a cup of tea. She knew it was a nightmare but she couldn't help but stare on with morbid curiosity; as far as nightmares went this was definitely one of the strangest.

_I should not have eaten all that cheese before bed._

The hurlock passed her a plate of meat; it looked quite a bit like pork but she wasn't sure. She reached out to take it; only to realise her left arm was gone. She stared down at the stump as it dripped with blood, and a scream escaped her lips. The darkspawn burst into laughter; their cackles echoing around the large hall they were dining in. The hurlock picked up a piece of meat and lifted it to her mouth. She clamped her lips shut as firmly as she could and turned her head away. The genlock rose from his seat and pushed her head into the food while holding her nose.

She clawed at its hand with her right hand but it was no use. No longer able to hold her breath she opened her mouth and gasped for air and got a mouthful of meat;  _her meat._  She gagged and choked, but they held her mouth shut until she swallowed.

"Wine, dear?" The ogre asked with a toothy grin.

She nodded her head and accepted the drink passed down to her. She drank deeply, the taste finally hit her and she spewed it back out. She wiped the blood dribbling from her chin with her arm; then screamed again as she realised she had lost half her right arm too. The darkspawn roared with laughter as they tucked into more of her supple white flesh.

She squeezed her eyes shut; wanting this nightmare to end, but when she opened them again the darkspawn were watching her and running their tongues over their gnarled teeth. She pushed back on her chair and tried to rise to her feet; instead she smacked into the hard stone floor. She stared down in horror at the stubs she now called her legs. She tried to wriggle away but the darkspawn rose and followed her. The ogre's footsteps rattled the stone; it was chomping down on her calf like it was chicken drumstick.

She started to roll away from them but they just grinned and chased after her. One of the shrieks started to push her along, and soon she was rolling back and forth as they rolled her across the floor between them. One of the hurlocks bit down on her hip and she cried out. Then the genlock took a chunk out of her shoulder. She watched, horrified, as one of the shrieks pulled out her intestines and started to chew on them like sausages. The ogre stood over her as the others feasted on her flesh and lifted its lion cloth to reveal a massive purple cock; the ogre lowered itself to its knees and was about to…

_NO!_

She screamed herself awake and bolted upright.

"Fuck, what the fuck," she muttered.

It was still pitch black in her chambers; the sun wasn't even awake yet. She flopped back down onto her pillow and rubbed at her face. These nightmares were just insane.

 _Maker, I am never going to be able to look at an ogre the same again_.

She shuddered and pushed herself to her feet; thankful she actually had feet. She walked to her basin and splashed water on her face before dressing herself in her undershirt and a leather jerkin then she slipped into linen leggings and her boots before strapping her daggers to her side and exiting her room.

She walked quietly through the castle; she would have sought out her fellow Wardens, but she knew they were  _busy_ , having heard them as she walked to bed some hours ago.

She was happy for them; it was about damn time they slept together, but she was jealous too. They would wake up in each other's arms come the morning, and Neri had nobody. In the Tower, if Neri felt lonely she could crawl into bed with Sol or Anders, when he was around, and find comfort in their arms. She missed having someone to do that with; she missed the sex too of course.

_How many months has it been now?_

Too fucking many.

She could start something with Zevran of course… they had been extra flirty recently and she trusted him, he knew about her past now as well, and she knew about his; about the woman he loved and murdered. But she was nervous to start anything; even with someone as lax as Zev. Most of her apprehension came from not knowing how she'd react to more intimate touches; she was doing so well at dealing with Albert and her past she didn't want to regress. She certainly wouldn't be able to have a relationship with him; not when she still had such strong feelings for Anders.

She found herself outside, in the training yard. The air was crisp and the gloom hung heavily to the shadows of the early morning. She drew her daggers and began slicing away at the practice dummies.

She trained until the sun finally began to rise, and then kept practicing. Some men joined her in the yard to spar against one another; they were young soldiers in training; a small lad with blonde hair and a taller boy with long brown hair. She could see them out of the corner of her eye but she kept her focus on the practice dummy in front of her.

She could hear the twang of archers loosing arrows into the target boards, and the drill sergeant yelling at someone to lift his shield arm, as she grabbed another practice dummy; she had ripped yet another to shreds.

She imagined it was one of the shrieks that had ripped her guts out and sliced its belly, and then she imagined it was the hurlock and sunk her blade into its hip; she buried her blade into its shoulder next then finally stabbed it in the groin and kicked it to the floor.

"You really showed him." A man laughed from behind her.

She spun to see Fergus chuckling to himself. He had shaved his beard and cut his hair, so he no longer looked homeless, although, she supposed he  _was_  technically homeless.

She smiled and wiped the sweat dripping from her brow. "I sure did."

He cocked his head to the side. "So, why does a mage want to fight with daggers?"

She shrugged. "Why not?"

"I've just never seen it before I guess."

"I'm not your stereotypical mage." She smirked.

He chuckled. "I can see that."

She tilted her head.  _Was he flirting with her?_  Ugh, she hoped not.

He walked toward her. "I wanted to thank you."

She scowled. "What for?"

"You saved my life."

"Oh, you're welcome. How did I do that?" She gave him a lopsided smile.

"The barrier you put up at Ostagar meant enough soldiers made it to Lothering; I met up with them and would not have made it here so soon without their support."

"Huh, cool. Are those men here now too?"

"They are; I want to use them to take back Highever."

She raised her eyebrows and smiled. "Really?"

"My sister doesn't quite see eye to eye on the matter, but yes, I'd like to."

"Interesting. I guess she wants to focus on the last treaty and the Blight?"

"She does. What do you think?"

"Uhhh, I've never really had a home before, I guess the Tower was for a while… It was overrun with demons and blood mages recently; I went in to save my friends. But if I knew there wasn't anybody left alive inside but maleficar? I probably wouldn't have bothered."

His shoulders slumped. "You're saying if Highever is only filled with Howe's men, it's not worth taking?"

She shrugged a shoulder. "I guess it's slightly different for you, but yeah. Once we deal with Loghain the castle will be handed back to you, right? So, why waste your breath."

He seemed to consider this for a moment and then lips curled. "She speaks fondly of you, I can see why now."

"We were screaming at each other on top of a mountain the other week." She laughed.

"I know, she told me everything; still, you've been a good friend to her. I don't think she would have coped half as well as she has, without you and Alistair at her side."

She snorted. "Trust me; she'd have been fine with just Alistair!"

They both laughed.

He eyed up her daggers. "Want a real target to practice against?"

She almost jumped with joy. "Really?"

"Sure. I haven't practised for a while; it will be good for me." He picked up a sword from the practice rack.

"I'm not like Ari." She twirled her dagger in her hand. "I'm a mage remember, and I won't go easy on you."

She'd been training on the road since Ostagar; fighting against everyone in their camp to improve her skills. She wasn't bad with the dagger now and she was getting better with the sword she had acquired; she'd never be as good as Arietta or Zevran but she didn't need to be; she had magic.

He nodded. "And I won't on you."

They squared off against each other. She had Duncan's dagger in her right hand, nothing in her left and Fergus was using a sword and shield. The other people in the yard stopped what they were doing and watched.

Fergus ran toward her; ready with a shield bash, he didn't get close though, she threw a glyph at his feet and he shuddered to a halt. Fergus cried out as he tried to free his feet.

The crowd cheered and mocked Fergus which only served to make him struggle harder. She turned off the glyph and he fell flat on his face and the crowd roared with laughter.

She grinned as she circled him as she waited for him to get back to his feet. He stood and squared off against her more cautiously this time.

She swirled her dagger and taunted him. "Come and get me, Fergie."

The men laughed again and Fergus turned bright red. He ran toward her and she danced back as her dagger clashed with his sword. He tried to bash her with his shield but it glanced harmlessly off her barrier. He groaned with frustration and she giggled as her dagger glanced off his sword again. His swipes and jabs became more aggressive as he pressed her hard. His blade caught her wrist and she cried out in pain as her dagger fell into the dirt.

_Balls._

They circled one another again and she leapt for her dagger but got a side-full of shield and ended up in the dirt groaning in pain.

He pointed his sword at her neck. "Yield."

She gave him a roguish grin. "No chance." She hit him in the chest with a massive blast of magic and sent him flying through the air to crash onto the castle steps.

He was groaning in pain as she skipped over to him.

"Maker," he grumbled as he rubbed his sore ass. "You weren't kidding."

She grinned. "You underestimated me." She placed her hands on her hips.

"I did, very sorry about that, my lady." He pulled his shield from his arm, and she beamed at him and helped him to his feet. "I don't suppose you know any healing magic?"

She looked at the hand still rubbing at his sore buttocks and quirked an eyebrow. "Even if I did, I would  _not_  be healing you there!" She stuck her tongue out.

He put a hand on his heart "You wound me, my lady; physical and verbal abuse, how heartless!" He said dramatically.

She pushed his shoulder "Shut up you baby, you asked for it!"

His eyes twinkled. "I did; do you want to go again? I can show you how to defend against a shield better."

She grinned and nodded her head.


	30. Conquer

She shovelled down another mouthful of herbed sausage, peppered omelette and crispy bacon. She wiped the grease dripping down her chin away with her hand before biting into a garlic chicken thigh. A moan escaped her lips as she swallowed it all down with a rich grape juice. She could moan all she liked though, as she was eating alone after spending far too long in the yard training. She shifted in her seat, trying to relieve some of the pressure pressing down on her sore thighs. She had battled Fergus without magic after winning the first few rounds and he had knocked her to the dirt, repeatedly and painfully. Payback, she supposed, for his sore butt.

Arietta's giggle echoed down the hall as her footsteps approached. The noble skipped into the hall with her hand intertwined with Alistair's. Both of them were grinning ear to ear as they took a seat opposite Neri. She guessed they were late to breakfast for  _other_  reasons; that Grey Warden stamina seemed to apply to more than just fighting.

"Not like either of you to be late to breakfast." Neri said innocently as they piled food onto their plates.

Alistair blushed a little. "Err yes, we had stuff to do."

Neri quirked an eyebrow. "Stuff?"

"Things." Arietta nodded her head up and down.

"I imagine you were tired after last night?" She asked.

Both their eyes bulged.

"I understand you were telling Fergus all about our adventures?" Neri clarified.

Arietta let out a sigh of relief. "Oh yeah... I'm so glad he's okay. There was a lot of catching up to do." Arietta stuffed food into her mouth and moaned, and Neri noticed Alistair's ears turning pink at the intimate sound.

Neri continued her charade. "No doubt. I ran into him this morning actually. He has a very sore ass now I'm afraid."

Both their eyebrows shot up into their hairlines.

Neri let out a bark of laughter. "We fought in the yard."

"Oh, ha! For a moment I thought you might have… done something to him." Alistair turned bright red.

"Done something?" Neri said sweetly.

"Yeah... you know..." Alistair squinted at her.

She snorted. "Do I?"

He cleared his throat. "That  _move_  of yours, perhaps?"

Neri smiled. "Still trying to figure out what that is huh? Too bad, my lips are sealed."

Neri stood from the table; full at last. "Unlike  _your_  lips last night." She winked.

Alistair and Arietta froze mid-mouthful.

Neri burst out laughing. "I heard you both last night. It's about damn time! I'm here if you need a helping  _hand_." She smirked.

"Neri!" Arietta gasped as she turned scarlet.

"What? Did I say hand?" Neri smacked her head. "I meant advice." She giggled. " _Honestly,_ you two have sex one time and now you're hearing innuendos everywhere!"

They shook their heads as she left them to eat in peace.

She was still grinning as she twirled around the corner and slammed straight into Zevran. He was more graceful than her, and managed to keep them both on their feet.

"My my, what a lovely surprise." Zevran hummed as he ran his eyes up her body.

She blushed. In her long silk dress of dark green she felt exposed; the fabric hugged her tightly, revealing her very slim frame and perky breasts. It was one of Isolde's servant's finer dresses, and Neri was borrowing it, indefinitely.

"You look beautiful in silk." He licked his lips playfully.

He looked equally gorgeous, in a silver and blue doublet, with fine linen breeches.

She put on an Orlesian accent. "Oh you are too kind, my Lord." She curtsied for him.

He let out a throaty laugh. "That was a terrible accent." He stared at her for a moment then spoke again. "I wanted to talk to you, privately."

She tilted her head to the side as he motioned for her to follow him.

He took her up some stairs up to the battlements; she took his arm as he opened the door and lead her outside. She gasped as the cold air hit her, blowing her hair in a chaotic whirlwind; she pushed it back from her face as she whistled at the view. She pulled away from him and leant over the ledge, looking down the rocky cliff face to the waters below, lapping gently at the stone. The lake was glistening in the high sun and a flock of seabirds were sweeping over the calm waters; they turned sharply and spun up through the air and into the clouds.

"Quite the view." She admitted.

"It is." He hummed.

She glanced over at him and realised he was looking at her.

She turned to face him as her heart pounded in her chest and her palms began to sweat; she adjusted her dress and subtly wiped the sweat away.

"Zevran..." she breathed.

A smile graced his lips as he ran his long, lean, fingers along the stone wall as he stalked toward her.

"I wanted to talk. Truly." He smiled. "I wanted to know if our  _shameless_  flirting was only going to stay at shameless flirting." He licked his lips in anticipation at her reply.

Her hands fidgeted at her sides. "You know about my past Zev. And I know about yours."

"Indeed." He hummed as he tucked one of her curls behind her ear.

She chewed on her lip. She liked Zevran, a lot, he reminded her of her old self; the fun, flirtatious, carefree mage who'd fool around with anyone if they showed an interest. She missed that mage.

"I don't want a relationship..." She finally said.

He nodded nonchalantly. "Just sex then."

She swallowed hard. "It's been a while..." She glanced at the lake; the Circle tower wasn't visible from here but she knew it was out there somewhere. Albert was the last person to touch her and she desperately wanted to change that.

"For me too, but one does not forget such skills, much like riding a horse, yes?" He grinned at her.

Her mouth hung open and her eyebrows leapt up her forehead. "You did not just compare  _me_  to a bloody horse, assassin!" She punched him in the shoulder.

He grabbed her arm and pulled her into his chest. His hands moved to cup her face; he pushed her hair out the way and smiled down at her. She licked her lips and parted her mouth as he tilted his head and kissed her softly. He tasted of honey and lemon and smelt like leather. She moaned into him as she grabbed a fistful of his hair to pull him closer; deepening their kiss.

His hands snaked down her back and she let out a small gasp as he grabbed her ass. She bit his lip playfully and pushed him against the wall. He laughed as he caught his breath. She threw down a glyph of repulsion at the doorway before she dropped her gown to the floor. The green silk pooled around her feet as she stepped out of it; leaving her in just her smalls. His eyes roamed up her body and a smile tugged at his lips.

"Like what you see Crow?" She smirked.

He growled his appreciation. "I do."

"Strip." She ordered.

A flash of white spread across his face as he grinned at her and sauntered toward her again. He lifted her by her hips and sat her down on the cold stone wall making her gasp. He stood in front of her and slowly unbuckled his belt and spun it seductively. She couldn't help but laugh as she realised he was going to strip tease for her.

With the belt off, he slowly pulled his doublet off; lifting it up inch by inch to reveal his gorgeous golden skin. He dropped the fabric back down and Neri let out an audible groan which only made him grin further. He kicked off a shoe, then the other. Her hands were tapping impatiently as she sat on the wall; she wanted to touch him, and she wanted to touch herself too.

"Patience." He hummed.

She snorted. "This is  _me_  you're teasing so cruelly, sir."

"It will be worth the wait, my dear." He winked.

"Someone's awfully cocky and yet I see no cock." She pouted.

"HAHA, all in good time; the build-up is half the fun."

She wasn't used to waiting for sex; in the Circle it as a quick romp and that was it, none of this foreplay stuff. It was driving her wild as her sex throbbed and ached to be touched.

He slipped out of his socks and wiggled his toes on the cold floor; remarkably her clit twitched with excitement.

_Even his feet are turning me on!_

She tightened her grip on the wall to stop from touching herself.

He went back to tugging on his doublet; still not quite pulling it off.

_Enough of this._

She lifted both her arms and felt her magic tingle at her fingertips, in one smooth motion she swept her arms a part and his doublet ripped in half, and caught on the wind; disappearing into the sky.

He was stunned at first then burst into laughter. She tried to stifle a giggle but failed.

She could feel her whole body blushing wildly. "Sorry." She smiled crookedly at him.

"My my, we are impatient."

She folded her arms and turned her head. "It's rude to keep a lady waiting."

"Mmmm, I am terribly sorry. Let me remedy that, immediately."

She turned to look at him again as he dropped his breeches to the floor, along with his smalls, in one eloquent motion, and his cock sprang up in greeting; long, hard and perfect for fucking.

Their lips slammed together; his tongue pushed into her mouth and hers moved to meet it. His hands unclasped her bra and yanked it off. His deft fingers snapped her panties and pulled them off too. She spread her legs wide and he moved closer to her; his cock pressed against her stomach.

His hands found her breasts, rubbing them roughly and her own hands roamed down his back and clawed at the lean muscle. He leant her back on the ledge with an arm tightly around her so she didn't fall as he ran his mouth down her jaw, kissing her softly. He made his way down to her breasts, with the odd lick or nip, then he took her nipple in his mouth and swirled his tongue around it making her moan and gasp. She tugged on his hair; massaging his scalp absent-mindedly as the pressure between her legs grew. She started to stroke his length and he groaned against her breasts; she swirled her fingers around the head of his cock and he bit down on her neck with a groan.

It felt like an eternity before he finally moved a hand to cup her mound; pushing through her light hair and parting her folds. She moaned as his fingers found her clit and finally relieved some of the pressure that had built there. She bucked her hips into his hand; desperate for more. His fingers slid down her slit and pressed against her entrance, she moaned and he swallowed it with a kiss before thrusting his fingers inside her.

She froze.

 _Did you fuck him? Perhaps you don't know how?_ Albert's voice echoed in her mind.

She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to focus on Zevran; on how hot his body felt against her despite the cold air, how good he smelt...

"Neri?" Zevran said quietly.

She opened her eyes and took a shaky breath. "I'm okay, I want this- I just..."

He pulled his fingers away and stroked her face. "There's no rush, cara mia."

She looked down and gulped. "I haven't been with anyone since  _him_. I can still feel his touch, smell his breath..." She shook her head and slammed her fist into the wall.

_To the void with that fucking Templar!_

Zevran pulled her hand to his lips and kissed each knuckle slowly. "Then I will erase his touch, one kiss at a time."


	31. Drinks

Neri aired out her robes. "I am so hot!"

Zevran ran his eyes up her slim form and smirked. "Yes, you are."

Neri laughed and pushed the assassin lightly.

Arietta chuckled. She was glad the two elves were together; every person in camp could tell they'd be perfect for one another. Neri had told Arietta she was planning on taking things slow with the assassin due to her past, and it made sense; it couldn't be very easy for her. As far as Arietta was aware the two elves had yet to sleep with one another, which was sweet. She had a hard time imagining Zevran taking things slow and steady; he must care about her a great deal. Arietta was glad most of the camp gossip seemed to be about Neri and Zev rather than Arietta and Alistair… although she supposed the point of gossip was to do it when the person wasn't present.

Arietta ran a hand through her hair in a desperate attempt to unstick the strands from her sweaty face and neck. She felt moist all over despite already removing her cloak, gloves, scarf and undercoat, leaving her in just her light armour. Alistair was sitting at her side holding her hand; she could feel the sweat gathering between their palms. He too had stripped down to the bare minimum, but she could see the sweat trickling down the side of his face. Orzammar was a lot warmer than any of them had anticipated, especially compared with the cold of outside.

It had taken them some time to reach the dwarven city; they had detoured to the Lake Calenhad docks in search of Sten's sword. Neri had mentioned he lost his sword, and after Arietta spoke with him he finally told her more about it. Qunari blades were part of them; with it lost he would not be able to return home. It wasn't at the docks, but a trader outside of Orzammar had sold it to Dwyn of all people, the grumpy dwarf Arietta had convinced to help defend Redcliffe. Arietta promised Sten she would get it back for him once they had this final treaty. That was a scary thought, since once they had the dwarves' support they would begin planning for the Landsmeet.

Of course things were never that easy; as with every other treaty they had tried to collect, there always seemed to be something wrong. Before even entering the city, they had left a nice pile of bodies on the frozen ground outside. They were all so sick of Loghain's men they didn't bother sparing them; it would also leave fewer for them to fight later if things didn't go as planned with the Landsmeet. Once inside the dwarven city they had been greeted with a riot of some sort, and the brutal death of a dwarf.

It turned out that Orzammar was currently without a King, and the Assembly was in deadlock on who should succeed him. Arietta had spent the morning speaking with people, trying to get a feel for both candidates. She had hoped it wouldn't be necessary for the Grey Wardens to support a candidate but it was becoming increasingly clear she would have to pick one or the other in order to get the support she required. There was Prince Bhelen Aeducan, the son of the late King, and the second candidate was Lord Harrowmont, who claimed the late-King did not want Bhelen to succeed him. Bhelen was a piece of work and quite clearly a ruthless pragmatist, but he seemed to want Orzammar to change, and after seeing Dust Town and the casteless… perhaps change would be good. Harrowmont on the other hand was a traditionalist and a good man, but Arietta was certain he would be a weak ruler.

They were sitting in the tavern drinking while Arietta brooded over the decision. Do you pick the man you despise in hopes he will be a better ruler, or the man you like and risk him being a poor one?

She took a swig of ale, swallowed then placed the flagon back down. "Opinions?"

Morrigan waved her hand dismissively. "Flip a coin. Tis not important who is King, so long as you have your troops."

"I think Bhelen is too ruthless; he doesn't care about anybody but himself." Leliana said as she fed her new pet nug a cracker.

Alistair nodded. "I get the impression Bhelen would just stab us in the back, he has that look about him."

"You thought that once of me, and I did no such thing." Zevran smirked.

"Yet," Alistair muttered into his drink.

The drunken dwarves started to sing.

_Gather thee dwarves, there's cause for a bash_

_Tap all caskets and find us your stash_

_Who calls the round? Whose wallet is heavy?_

_How many pints can this tummy here levy?_

Neri slurped her drink. "Pick Bhelen."

Arietta craned her head. "What's your reasoning?"

"You saw the casteless. It's disgusting. Nobody should be judged by something they're born into. And Bhelen seems the sort to take a more proactive approach to the darkspawn threat. Isn't it about time that the dwarves reclaimed some of their old thaigs? Bhelen will do that, even if he is a tit."

_And all call;_

_O, ho, finish in one_

_Down, down_

_Until it's all gone!_

She sighed. "Alright then, the Grey Wardens are throwing their lot in with Bhelen." Arietta downed the rest of her drink and rose from the table.

* * *

"No! Absolutely not," Alistair argued.

Arietta rested her hands on his chest plate. "We don't know what the Deep Roads will be like love; we've always said we should split up for the dangerous quests, we need a Warden safe, and you're going to be King."

After a long afternoon of running  _errands_  for Bhelen they had been instructed to go into the Deep Roads in search of a lost Paragon, Branka. This Paragon had the power to pick a King, which would finally end the deadlock and give Arietta the troops she needed to stop the Blight. As before, with Denerim and Flemeth, one Warden was always left behind; it was Alistair's turn to be that Warden.

"This isn't fair." He pouted.

Neri stepped forward. "I won't let anything happen to her Alistair, I promise."

His shoulders sagged a little but he folded his arms. "I don't like this."

Arietta cupped his jaw. "Me neither, love, but we'll be back before you know it." She smiled.

She crouched down in front of Blossom and stroked her head. "Look after him for me girl?" Blossom panted happily.

"Eh, what is it you humans say? Daylight's wasting, are we going or what?" Oghren said.

The vulgar red haired dwarf was to join them in search of Branka; she was his wife, therefore he would be their best bet at finding her in as short a time as possible. Their group consisted of him, Wynne, Morrigan, Neri, Barkspawn and Arietta; she hoped it would be enough to deal with whatever they faced in the depths of the earth.

Arietta leant into Alistair's ear. "I love you," she whispered.

He wrapped his arms around her. "I love you too. Come back to me." He lifted her chin and kissed her passionately.

She melted into the kiss trying to ignore the heart ache at the thought of being without him.

"We'll leave a trail." She said when they pulled apart. "If we're not back in two weeks you can rally the entire army in search of us." She chuckled.

_I hope that isn't necessary though._

* * *

Arietta slit the hurlock's throat and it flopped to the floor dead. She wiped her brow and looked around, all the darkspawn were dead, at least in the immediate area.

"Alright, we're setting up camp here." She dumped her pack on the floor.

They'd spent what she assumed was most of the evening clearing out Caridin's Cross. Tthe thaig was infested with darkspawn, and one fight led straight into the next leaving them exhausted. They dragged the dead darkspawn to the far side of the chamber, then slumped down on the floor. In the morning they would head to Ortan Thaig; supposedly that was where Branka had ventured next.

Oghren pulled out a flask and drank deeply.

Arietta scowled. "Really?" she admonished.

"Eh?" Oghren took another swig. "Want some?" He grinned.

She crinkled her nose. "No, and I don't think that's wise."

"I'm not like you, woman, I can drink and drink and still split a sodding hurlock in half."

She rolled her eyes. "What is it anyway?"

He belched. "My own homebrew. You sure you don't wanna try it?" He gave her a toothy grin.

"I'm quite sure."

She pulled out some dried meat and cheese from her pack. She unfolded the fabric and found a small note from Alistair.

_If you're feeling mellow, have some yellow._

_Don't be blue, I've got you._

_Love from Alistair._

She grinned and bit into the delicious cheddar and blue cheeses.

Morrigan and Wynne both pulled out their own rations, some dried fruits and nuts. Barkspawn plonked himself in front of Arietta and wagged his little tail.

"Are you hungry, boy?" she asked.

He wagged his tail furiously.

She grinned. "Is Neri neglecting you?" She handed him some dried meat.

Arietta looked up at the elf; she was practicing her swordsmanship again. She had been practicing with her dagger ever since she got back from Flemeth's hut with Alistair. Now she had moved on to trying with swords; the one she had found in the mountains was light enough that the elf could swing it quite deftly. She'd even managed to enchant it with some sort of telekinesis spell. Her favourite attack was to pull a darkspawn in close, straight onto her blade. She was dancing around the chamber, stabbing and slicing with it, and she looked almost graceful, until she tripped on something and fell flat on her ass. Arietta burst out laughing and Neri blushed as she hauled herself back up.

"I'm no expert, but I think you're supposed to stay on your feet?" Arietta sniggered.

Neri rubbed her neck and kicked the stone responsible for her fall. "I was just checking how hard the ground was. It's very hard, if you were curious." Neri grinned.

Neri hobbled over and joined their circle and started to eat her dinner. Barkspawn moved over to her side and whined at her for more.

Neri fed him some biscuits. "Greedy sod."

Arietta shook her head. "You're one to talk; you ate an entire pheasant in one sitting the other night!"

"I was hungry."

Arietta smiled. "You're always hungry."

Neri stuffed more cheese and meat into her mouth. "I'm making up for being half starved in the Circle."

Wynne snorted. "Oh now come on, young lady, the Circle didn't starve you."

Neri smiled. "No, only half-starved."

"That just isn't true; the Circle food was very nice."

"No Wynne, the  _senior_  mage's food was very nice, we only had pigeon stew."

"Oh yes, I suppose you never got to eat at the senior mage's table…"

"Nope, because of Jowan I missed out on all the good stuff."

Wynne frowned. "They made him tranquil, you know."

Neri let out a small sigh. "I know."

They ate in silence a little while then Neri perked up again. "I want to buy some armour, or maybe have some made with those dragon scales? Zev says it'll be light enough for me to fight in."

Oghren huffed. "Ugh, will that be  _short_  armour? If not you should keep the robes, heh."

Neri scrunched her face up. "Gross!" She glared at him. "I'm surprised you can even  _see_ what I'm wearing through all that mangled hair of yours."

Morrigan snorted. "I am shocked his eyes aren't constantly watering from the foul odour."

They all started to laugh; Oghren frowned and looked at them all. "What foul odour?" They laughed harder. "Ohh, heh, you'll get used to the man stink, don't worry ladies."

They all groaned.

"I think I'll try some of that ale now," Wynne said.


	32. Forgotten

They weren't sleeping much, maybe an hour or two if they were lucky, and she'd lost track of time entirely. They ate when they were close to starving and they slept when they could no longer stand. Ortan thaig had been gruelling. Neri had screamed at every single little noise and wouldn't stop staring at the ceiling, and then when the hissing monsters did attack she had dropped her sword and screamed. It was amusing to watch, but when they were fighting swarms of the eight legged beasties it wasn't exactly ideal. Fighting the spider Queen had been worse as it kept racing back up to the ceiling, and then would suddenly drop down and wrap them in webs. They found Branka's journal; she even mentioned Oghren, which Arietta was certain brought a tear to his eye, and from her notes they had learnt she was heading to the Dead Trenches.

It had taken, maybe, a few days to reach the depths of the Dead Trenches, she really wasn't sure. They had crouched down along the cliff and peered over the edge at the army of darkspawn marching in their thousands. The whispering and scratching in her mind had been overwhelming, and then the Archdemon had flown past them. Seeing it in her nightmares could never compare to the real thing. It was huge, its leathery wings sent torrents of air billowing into the canyon, the sound of its roar made her entire body shudder and the cries in her mind had been deafening. Both Arietta and Neri had clasped their heads in pain, they couldn't understand what the Archdemon was saying, but they didn't need to, it was ordering them to march, march to the surface.

They carried on through the Dead Trenches, and eventually found a member of Branka's house, a woman called Hespith. She was lost to the taint, mad with it. She was following them through the tunnels from some walkways above. She seemed to have comedic timing as she chanted her creepy rhyme.

They were battling yet another group of darkspawn.

_First day, they come and catch everyone. Second day, they beat us and eat some for meat._

A genlock swiped at Oghren and chopped off a bit of his beard.

_Third day, the men are all gnawed on again._

"Shut up woman!" Oghren shouted angrily.

As they made camp that night Hespith had whispered at them again

 _Fourth day, we wait and fear for our fate_.

"I am going to kill her if she doesn't shut the fuck up," Neri growled.

_Fifth day, they return and it's another girl's turn._

Neri fired a blast of magic in Hespith's direction. "FUCK OFF YOU TAINTED RUG MUNCHER."

Hespith didn't say any more of her rhyme so they tried to get some sleep.

Arietta woke with a start from another darkspawn nightmare. Again Hespith was watching.

_Sixth day, her screams we hear in our dreams._

They packed up their camp quickly and moved on.

The stench in the air was growing stronger with each step they took, and they all fell silent as Hespith continued her rhyme.

_Seventh day, she grew as in her mouth they spew. Eighth day, we hated as she is violated. Ninth day, she grins and devours her kin._

Hespith stopped on the ledge above them. "The men, they kill… they're merciful. But the women, they want. They want to touch, to mold, to change, until you are filled with them." Her whole body twitched. "They took Laryn. They made her eat the others, our friends." She said sadly. "She tore off her husband's face and drank his blood. And while she ate, she grew. She swelled and turned grey and she smelled like them. They remade her in their image. Then she made more of them."

"Ari… what does she mean?" Neri said nervously.

Arietta swallowed. "I don't know."

The ground beneath their feet changed to a pink, fleshy substance; it was spongy and slippery as they walked over it. The walls were covered it in as well, and oozed blood and taint. Arietta covered her nose and mouth as they walked forward and around the corner.

"Broodmother…" Hespith said, ominously.

Arietta's stomach dropped as her eyes travelled up the monstrous pink mound of fat wobbling in front of them. Its tentacles started to wiggle, and its saggy tits shook as the creature spewed green bile out of its mouth. They stood in stunned silence, and Arietta was nearly gagging at the sight and smells, sweat mixed with rotting flesh. Then more tentacles burst through the fleshy floor and attacked them.

Their group split, taking its usual formations. Oghren and Barkspawn were taking down as many of the tentacles as possible while Wynne and Morrigan stayed safely back and unleashed their magic upon them. Neri stayed close to Arietta as they engaged a group of darkspawn heading their way.

Neri used her force magic to throw the darkspawn into the wall; Arietta took the opportunity to slit a few throats. Then Neri started to drag them onto her sword. Arietta raced over to Morrigan's side as the witch got slammed to the floor by a tentacle. She could feel more darkspawn approaching, they needed to get out of here fast. She chopped the offending tentacle to shreds and helped Morrigan up.

Oghren ran at the Broodmother

"Don't!" Arietta screamed, too late, Oghren got vomited on and started to scream in pain.

Arietta looked to Morrigan and she nodded, she turned to Neri and she also nodded. The witch sent a blast of ice hurtling at the Broodmother and Arietta charged. Neri used her magic to hold back the shorter tentacles either side of the Broodmother so Arietta could get close. Neri screamed and the Broodmother's arm crashed down in front of Arietta sending her skidding to a halt. She looked over her should to see Neri in another tentacle's grasp, being slammed into the floor repeatedly.

"No!" Arietta screamed.

Morrigan gave her a nod and froze both of the Broodmother's tentacles. Arietta stabbed a dagger into one of its tits then leapt up the wobbling mound and buried her other dagger in its head. The creature shook then sagged against the wall dead.

She leapt down and ran over to Wynne who was already healing Neri.

"Is she okay?" She asked breathlessly.

Wynne gave her a weary nod. "A few broken ribs and a head injury, but she should be okay."

Arietta glanced at Oghren who had been healed by Morrigan. "We can't stay here waiting for her to wake up, I'll carry her." There were darkspawn racing toward them. "Oghren lead us out of here."

She ran with Neri slumped in her arms; the mages blonde hair was streaked with blood, and those colours reminded her of… a shiver went down her spine, and she pushed the old memory down. The darkspawn were still chasing them, hunting them.

They reached a massive chamber and all ran into it, there was a tunnel at the other end through which they could escape, so Arietta ordered Morrigan to bring down the tunnel behind them. That would stop the darkspawn, at least for a while.

Arietta crouched down and placed Neri on the floor. Wynne downed a lyrium potion and continued to heal Neri as they all caught their breath.

"She's waking up." Wynne said relieved.

Neri's eyes fluttered open. "You know we're surrounded by darkspawn right?" she croaked.

"Neri!" Arietta hugged her. "I know. Can you stand?"

Neri nodded and sat up slowly as she grabbed her sides. "I can do one better. I can fight," she bit out.

Arietta clenched her jaw but nodded her head. They all needed to rest but they couldn't stay here for long, not with only one exit. They all stood and walked briskly forward.

"That… Broodmother," Neri said.

"It was horrible," Arietta said quietly.

"Do they turn all women into those things?"

"The ones they catch at least. They use us to _breed."_

Neri shuddered. "That's so twisted."

Arietta took a shaky breath. "What do you think happens with females who go on their Calling?"

They shared a worried look and kept walking.

"Darkspawn," Arietta warned.

"Damn it, they're everywhere." Neri growled.

"Let's pick up the pace people!" Arietta broke into a jog.

They sprinted down the tunnel. She could see a crossroads a little way in front of them, it split three ways, but there were darkspawn down every tunnel.

She gasped as an emissary crept out of the shadows in the tunnel straight ahead.

"COVER!" she screamed as she tackled Neri.

The fireball exploded above them and the entire tunnel shook. She covered her ears as rubble and debris crashed to the floor with a thunderous roar. A cloud of smoke and dust rushed past them. She lifted her head as the dust began to settle and gasped as she realised the tunnel behind them was gone.

The crossroads had completely collapsed and there was no sign of the others. She jumped to her feet and slammed her fists into the massive slab of stone blocking their path.

"No!" She kicked the rock but it didn't budge. "Fuck."

The others must be on the other side.

 _Or they're dead and buried under the rubble_. Her subconscious supplied unhelpfully.

Neri touched her shoulder. "Come on, we'll find them, but we can't stay here." The elf staggered down the tunnel wheezing slightly. That noise sent a shiver running down her spine; it reminded her of… she squeezed her eyes shut trying to ignore the memory bubbling to the surface.

"Come on!" Neri called.

Arietta jogged after her.

A genlock ran at Arietta and she feigned left before bringing her dagger down on its throat. Another genlock came at her, firing arrows in her direction, she dodged a few and managed to deflect another, but took one in her arm before she could bury her daggers in its chest.

They had spent hours wondering through the tunnels; most of their time was spent running from darkspawn, rather than searching for a path back to the crossroads. She yanked the arrow out her arm.

She glanced over her shoulder to check on Neri; the mage was fighting the last remaining darkspawn, a hurlock. She pulled it toward her as she always did, but the darkspawn moved faster than Neri. Silver cut straight through her chest and the elf stared down at the blade in disbelief. The hurlock grinned and Arietta screamed.

The hurlock pulled the blade from her chest and Neri dropped to her knees staring down at the hole in her chest with grotesque curiosity. It lifted the sword to finish Neri off but Arietta slammed into it. Her fists were a blur as she smashed them into its skull. She felt the bone crack and her hands slid into the mushy tissue beneath, she ripped chunks out of it as she continued to tear it to shreds.

"Ari, I can't…" Neri rasped as she crawled toward her with blood dripping from her mouth.

Arietta gasped and rushed to the elf's side, Neri collapsed into her lap coughing. Arietta pressed on the wound, but the blood just trickled past her fingers.

"I've got you." She stroked the elf's face as tears welled in her eyes. "It'll be alright, just stay with me, Neri," she said shakily.

She checked her pack and pockets desperately. She pressed a few bandages onto the wound and poured the remaining drops of poultice into it, but she knew it would do very little.

_Oh Maker, please no._

"I can't breathe," Neri choked out.

Arietta froze as the memory flooded back to her, the one they had all tried to forget.

" _This way."_ Fergus skipped through the back alleys of Highever. She followed, close at his heels.

" _Where are we going?"_ She struggled to keep up with him.

" _You'll see."_

He sprinted down the cobbled road and ducked under a broken fence. The air smelt like poop and rotting fish because they were near the sewers and the sea. She chased after her brother. He stopped by a big wooden building and held his hands out for her to climb up. She looked up at the open window above them and scowled at him _._

" _Trust me?" h_ e said.

She nodded and put her foot in his hand, he boosted her up and she grabbed the window, he gave her a shove and she fell through it and landed softly in a pile of hay. She rolled out the way as he jumped in too. The room they were in was big and mostly empty; she could see a ladder against the far wall and old oak beams crisscrossed above their heads, the floor was covered in empty crates and the far side had piles of wood stacked against it unevenly under another window; some were sticking up, others flat, all of them looked gnarled and splintered.

Fergus ran over to the pile and picked up a stick. He tossed it to her, when she caught it the wood cut her skin and she cried out and dropped it to the floor _._

" _Pick it up again,"_ Fergus urged.

" _Why?"_ She squeezed her finger as blood formed at the tip.

" _You want to fight don't you?"_ He grinned as he picked up his own stick.

She realised they were going to use them as swords like the men in the yard do. She beamed at him as she picked up the sharp stick. Those stupid boys would think twice before pushing her in the dirt again once she knew how to fight.

She squared off against her brother, holding the 'sword' out in front of her as they circled one another. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she couldn't stop grinning. It was so exciting! She could be a Knight or a Grey Warden! They were heroes. She could be the best Warden ever!

Fergus ran forward and his stick slapped her thigh.

She screamed as the sting of the hit reverberated through her _. "No fair!"_

" _Fights aren't fair. You have to use everything you can to your advantage. You're little so you won't be strong, but you could be fast."_ He said as he slapped her again _. "Keep your stick up; try to stop me from hitting you with mine."_

" _It's hard," s_ he complained.

" _It will get easier. That's what father says."_ He swiped the back of her knee, knocking her to the floor.

Suddenly a scream pierced the silence of the dusty air around them. They both turned their heads and watched horrified as their little sister tumbled out the window and onto their practice swords. Arietta screamed and Fergus ran toward her.

_Elissa!_

Arietta leapt to her feet and ran to help her brother, together they pulled Elissa off the sticks and they lowered her to the floor as she whimpered in pain. Her little yellow dress was turning red where the sticks pierced her. Arietta's eyes flooded with tears.

Fergus stared at her with white eyes. " _I have to get help. Stay with her, Ari."_  He placed Elissa in Arietta's lap. She wanted to object but Fergus was already sprinting away.

She looked down at 'Lissa and started to cry.

Blood spluttered out of 'Lissa's mouth as she tried to speak. " _Ari, I can't_."

Ari hugged her close. " _I- I've got you," s_ he sobbed. She tried to press down on the wounds but it just made Lissa's little yellow dress turn redder.

" _I can't breathe,_ " 'Lissa said desperately as more blood spluttered out her mouth.

Her sister's breathing was a wheezy rattle as she tried to suck in air, and all Arietta could do was stroke her sister's hair with her shaky hands as she waited for help to come.

" _Help will come," s_ he tried to reassure her.

But Lissa's breathing was getting worse; she was coughing and shaking as she gasped for air. Her eyes closed, but the rattle of her breath continued. Ari tried to shake her awake but she wouldn't open her eyes.

" _Lissa," s_ he cried as her tears fell onto her sister's face.

'Lissa was starting to turn purple and her whole body was convulsing; Ari just gripped her tight, pressing on the wound pathetically. " _I don't know what to do,"_ she cried.

Her parents had come running in with half their guard and a mage. They dragged Arietta off 'Lissa's body, kicking and screaming. Their magic couldn't save her though, they couldn't bring the dead back to life.

Neri started to choke so Arietta moved her onto her side. "Neri," she begged.

She looked around desperately for anything that would help but there was nothing but dust and stone here. "I don't know what to do," she rasped as fear gripped her throat.

Neri looked up at her as she gasped for breath.

"Please, I don't want to lose another sister," Arietta pleaded.

Neri smiled sadly at her as blood gurgled out of her mouth.


	33. Grief

The flames licked at her clothes, gently sputtering at the edges of the fabric before finally grabbing hold and consuming her. The shadows around them receded, fleeing erratically as they danced across the stone floor and up the walls. They all stood around the makeshift pyre staring into the flames; it wasn't much but it was all they could manage, scarce for resources and exhausted as they were. In the firelight she could see tears rolling down her companion's faces; Morrigan wiped at them stubbornly, Wynne stood tall, with her mouth a thin line, as her eyes glistened, and Barkspawn howled woefully as the fire crackled and popped. Arietta rubbed at her eyes; the smoke of the fire was making them sting and water uncontrollably. She glanced over at Oghren. His head was lowered as he stared down at the ground; half his face was caste in shadow, but she could see the gleam of tears on his cheeks as he mourned his dead wife.

* * *

She could hear footsteps over the dying rattle of the elf in her arms. She froze as she tried to listen. It was more than one creature racing toward her, at least a few of them. Blood rushed to her ears and her breathing became ragged. Her hands were trembling as she looked around for something to defend herself with. She only had her small knife; she could use Neri's sword, or go to the genlock to retrieve her daggers, but she didn't want to leave the elf's side. How could she? Neri was dying. More tears fell down Arietta's cheeks.

She could feel the darkspawn drawing closer.

_They will turn me into a Broodmother._

She pulled her knife out with a shaky hand.

_Better to die now than be turned into one of those things._

She lifted the blade over her heart and gulped.

Neri was still wheezing, but only barely. Arietta stroked her cheek.

 _Alistair_.

She squeezed her eyes shut.

"Don't!" Morrigan screamed.

Arietta's eyes flew open as the witch skidded to the floor in front of her. Morrigan was covered in dust, caked in blood and sweating profusely but Arietta had ever seen anything so beautiful. Arietta let the knife drop to the floor.

The witch pushed the blood out of Neri's lung and the elf coughed to life again. Morrigan's hands began to glow as she started to heal the wound. Wynne rushed in and joined Morrigan on the floor.

Arietta watched them healing the elf in stunned silence as she stroked the elf's hair.

Oghren was fighting darkspawn with Barkspawn in the tunnel.

Neri's flesh was starting to knit back together, but both the mages were clearly exhausted. Wynne pulled away first and nearly collapsed to the floor; her skin was pasty and dripping with sweat, and her hands were trembling. She pulled out her canteen and drank the remaining drops of drink.

Morrigan sat back on her heels, wiped her brow and nodded grimly.

Arietta stayed hugging Neri; she couldn't bring herself to let go.

_She's alive, they're all alive._

At some point Barkspawn came and nuzzled up with her too. With the shock starting to wear off she returned to sobbing uncontrollably. Nearly losing Neri was too much, and combined with the memory of her baby sister… sweet little Elissa.

"You're getting tears on me," Neri croaked from her lap.

Arietta gasped, and her crying turned to laughter as she hugged the elf close. "Neri," she whimpered.

"I'm glad I'm not dead too, but you keep squeezing and I just might be," Neri rasped.

"Sorry!" Arietta let her go, allowing the elf to sit up slowly.

Neri looked down at her blood soaked robes and rubbed at the long red scar running down her right breast. She glared at it and took a shaky breath. "A little too close for comfort."

"Yes," Arietta whispered.

Neri could barely keep her eyes open. "I'm going to go back to using your lap as a pillow now, if that's okay?"

Arietta smiled and shuffled back against the wall.

"If you could just stroke my hair until I fall asleep that would be nice."

Arietta nodded.

She sat against the wall for a long time as the elf snored gently in her lap. There was something so comforting about that sound; anything was preferable to the wheezing, gurgles and choking of a few hours ago though.

She inhaled, filling her lungs with the rank air, and she felt a sudden overwhelming longing to feel the wind wrapping around her again, as it whipped her hair away from her face. She longed to camp outside, staring up at the swirls of colour that flooded the night's sky as the stars twinkled with secrets and wishes. But most of all she longed for Alistair; she longed to feel his hot breath on her neck, to feel his silky hair under her fingers and to feel his hard body moving over her as her hips rose to meet him. She wanted to smell him, that musky aroma that made her quiver with desire. After everything they'd been through down here, she just wanted to see him smile, that dazzling, brilliant white, grin that he reserved for her; she wanted to hold him, for him to hold her. She leant her head back against the wall as she imagined him touching her, kissing her… she moaned.

"Need a hand?" Neri giggled.

Arietta jumped. "I thought you were asleep."

"I was, but I have a sixth sense for horny females." She winked.

Arietta stared at her with her mouth open.

Neri snorted. "That was a joke; I should be sleeping, but it's these damn Deep Roads…"

"Yeah." Arietta sighed. "How do you feel?"

Neri sat up with a groan and leant against the wall with her. "Better, I guess. Not having a hole in my chest certainly helps." She smiled lopsidedly.

Arietta nearly laughed, but that particular wound was too fresh, physically and mentally.

"I nearly lost you," she said shakily.

"I know. Damn that hurlock," Neri growled.

"Morrigan and Wynne arrived just in time; I have no idea how they found us"

Neri smiled and lifted her hand for Arietta to see.

Arietta frowned in confusion.

"The ring. It was a gift from Morrigan. She can track me with it." Neri chuckled. "I hated the idea of it at first; it freaked me out. But I'm suddenly finding myself quite liking it."

"Why did she give it to you?"

"Oh, she said I kept endangering myself and needed to be monitored to make sure I didn't get into any trouble. What she really meant was 'I consider you a friend and care about you a great deal, please take this ring so I can keep an eye on you.'" Neri smirked.

"I suppose you did go out of your way to kill her mother."

Neri glanced at the sleeping witch. "I guess we're even now."

Neri curled up against Arietta. "You said something when I was dying." Neri looked up at her with her big brown eyes. "Something about a sister."

"I did," she whispered.

Arietta let the silence linger before finding her voice again. "Elissa. Her name was Elissa."

"I didn't know you had a sister," Neri said quietly. "What happened to her?"

She took a deep breath and explained everything, the warehouse, their swords, 'Lissa somehow following them, and then falling in through the window. Arietta sniffed and rubbed at her eyes.

"She died in my arms, gasping for air, as blood stained her pretty yellow dress. She stared up at me with her big blue eyes, full of fear, and there was nothing I could do." She lowered her head.

Neri hugged her. "I am so sorry."

Arietta smiled. "She would have liked you; she had this strange fascination with elves."

"Tell me about her." Neri curled up against her again.

"She was so kind and gentle, she loved everyone and everything. She would dance around the castle, singing loudly, while handing out flowers that she picked from mother's garden." She laughed. "She always wore adorable little dresses with a ribbon in her hair, usually yellow, that was her favourite colour. Everyone called her Sunny because she was always shining."

Arietta sighed. "I hated feeling helpless. I still do. It's why I do everything I can to help people; it's all for her, to honour her memory. Even when I buried the memory, there was always a voice nagging me to help people."

"I think she'd be proud of you, Ari," Neri whispered.

"I hope so."

"Just think of all the people we'll save when we kill that sodding Archdemon."

Arietta snorted. "Good thing we got practice in with that high dragon, eh?"

Neri bopped Arietta's shoulder. "I apologised for that!" She whined, exasperated. "I'll take on the Archdemon alone if I have to, you pansy." She lifted her head and stuck her tongue out at her.

"Oh come on, that's no fun. We're in this together. We're… sisters," Arietta said.

Neri's eyes filled with tears and she nodded. "Sisters."

* * *

Finding Branka had not been so difficult; the dwarf had greeted them personally and locked them in, forcing them through Caridin's traps. Branka had exhausted her own house members, or  _test subjects,_  as she was using them, run the gauntlet and set off the traps at the cost of all of their lives. With their group exhausted and beaten it had been a struggle, but finally they had reached the Anvil of the Void, where Caridin himself welcomed them, much to their disbelief. He explained that the Anvil created golems from dwarven volunteers, at first, but later dwarves had been conscripted. Caridin himself had objected, but they turned his creation against him, trapping him inside a hulking golem shell. Unable to destroy the Anvil, he had waited for someone to come and help him. Branka wanted the Anvil for herself, and refused to back down; they had no choice but to kill her. Caridin forged a crown for her to give to whomever she deemed worthy to rule Orzammar; in return, she destroyed the Anvil for him.

With everything they set out to do complete they all turned away from the pyre and headed for the exit; for home.

…

They'd been travelling for days, she thought; she hoped they were getting close to the surface now, but the endless stone above their heads made figuring that out very difficult. What did the dwarves call it?  _Stone sense_. She certainly didn't have it. She wasn't sure how much time had passed, how long they'd been travelling through the snaking passageways, or how much farther they needed to go until they reached the surface. She was so tired, so utterly exhausted from it all but they couldn't stop for long; there were so many darkspawn nearby still.

Then she started to notice dead darkspawn, and quite a lot of them. She started to recognise the roads too; she was pretty sure they were near to Caridin's Cross now.

"You'll miss it, Twiglet. That stale air." Oghren inhaled deeply and sighed. "The hot making you stink, the endless darkspawn…," he joked as they walked down the tunnel.

"I will not,  _Crusty_ ," Neri said, stubbornly. "I'll die a happy elf if I never have to go back to the Deep Roads ever again." She crossed her arms over her chest.

Arietta really hoped she wouldn't end up with a stupid nickname.

"Eh? Not even for a tryst with Ortan's Thaig? If you get my drift." Oghren wiggled his eyebrows.

Neri glanced down at him and a smile touched her lips. "Not even for Caridin's  _very_ large cross." She smirked.

"Ohh," Oghren grunted. "What about for the Anvil of her Void, if you're into that, heh."

Arietta gagged. "Seriously? Please stop."

"And here I was about to bring the whole damn army in to find you," Alistair said as he leant against a wall, looking the perfect image of cool and relaxed.

"Alistair!" Arietta all but screamed as she leapt into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist as she kissed him hard on the lips.

She could hear the others making similar greetings, - Zevran in particular was in a panic as he saw Neri's blood coated robes - but all of that got drowned out as she clung to Alistair and her blood pounded in her ears.

They pulled a part, and Alistair grinned at her with that gorgeous smile that she loved so much. "We heard you coming and decided to surprise you." He grinned. "Maker, it's good to see you though." He hugged her close, and she squeezed him tight.

She pulled away and glanced around; Zevran and Neri were kissing rather passionately and the others were engaged in animated conversation. Blossom bounded over to her and leapt up to lick at her face.

"Hello girl, miss me?" She stroked her hound; Blossom rolled onto her back with her tongue hanging out of her mouth, and Arietta rubbed her belly.

She stood back up and everyone looked to her. "Shall we go crown a king then?" She grinned.


	34. Bliss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally free of the Deep Roads Neri takes care of her one regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has bookmarked this and left Kudos!

Neri hummed as they walked out of the Orzammar doors. It was freezing in the mountains; the bite of the wind burned her face and chilled her to the bone, but she embraced the fresh air like an old friend.

She had never been so excited to leave somewhere her whole life; well, except maybe the Tower, but after being stuck underground for so long it felt good to be out of the Deep Roads, out of Orzammar, and away from all the smelly dwarves.

“Unngh” Oghren moaned.

She chuckled to herself. _Well not quite all the smelly dwarves_. Arietta had invited Oghren along with them to help stop the Blight. The dwarf was a fine fighter and could be quite amusing at times, too bad the rest of the time he was crude, vulgar and drunk.

Arietta glanced down at him and stopped on the steps. “Everything okay?”

Oghren looked up at her. “Huh? Oh yeah. There’s just a lot of sodding sky up there.” He rocked back and forth on his stubby legs.

Arietta gave the suspect sky a look; it was mid-afternoon and the sky was blue with a few fluffy clouds plodding across it. “Well, the sky won’t hurt you,” Arietta reassured him.

“I don’t know…” Neri stared up at the clouds; she squinted at them, then started to shake her head. “The clouds look like they’re plotting something.”

“Plotting? What!?” Oghren panicked.

“Oh yes,” she hummed. “They are quite mischievous and have a habit of suddenly changing into something quite nasty; spitting hail, rain and snow, and sometimes they crash into one another and shake the earth in a fit of rage.”

“Neri.” Arietta scolded as she walked down the steps.

 -Neri followed.

Oghren leant in close to talk to her. “They sound evil; wait until they see my axe, then they won’t be so eager to shake _me_ about!” He drew his axe and waved it wildly.

 “Oh, I wouldn’t wave metal at the sky if I was you; sometimes the clouds shoot lightning down to the ground. You’re lucky you’re short; it tends to hit the taller things first.”

He huffed and sheathed his axe.  “Alright, anything else I should watch out for?”

“Hmm, the wind can be a cruel mistress as well. Have you ever heard her howl or scream?”

“What? Bleedin’ Ancestors, of course I haven’t.” He flinched as another gust crept up on them and swished his braided ‘stache around his face.

Neri leant down to whisper to him. “She is easily offended, you should be nice to her or she might blow you away.” Neri looked around nervously.

“What!?”

“Oh yes; children will look up at the sky and remark ‘there’s crusty the cloud’ as you float on by.”

He groaned. “How do I stop that from happening?”

“You have to–”

“Neri, I can still hear you. Stop scaring him!” Arietta yelled back at them. “Oghren, you don’t have to do anything; you won’t float away, I promise.”

“Hmm. I think I’ll still hold on really tight, just in case,” he grumbled. “Sodding, fucking clouds and wind and sky…”

Neri chuckled as he continued to curse under his breath.

…

 

Neri grabbed her tent pole and stabbed it roughly into the saturated ground as the rain beat down on her back. The sky rumbled again and a flash of light momentarily lit up their camp. Everyone was trying to get their tents up as the rain and wind swirled around them in a frenzied dance.

“Pick on someone your own size!” Oghren yelled up at the black clouds.

Arietta gave Neri a look, the sort that said ‘this is your doing’; Neri gave her a lopsided smile and a shrug in return.

A huge gust of wind ripped her tent out the ground and dragged it half way across the camp. Zevran’s boot slammed down onto the now drenched and muddy fabric and he grinned at her. “Join me in my tent?”

She sighed and laughed, admitting defeat. “Thank you.”

Of course the assassin’s tent was fully erected and perfectly put together.

_Wasn’t it always?_

He even had a thick leather hide coat over the top of it that kept out the rain. He opened the flap for her, and she crawled inside; he slapped her ass, making her yelp, as he too entered the tent. The interior was lavishly decorated with fur rugs, blankets and cushions. She flopped down onto the soft bedding and grinned.

“Ah you will dampen the bedding; off with your clothes!” Zevran ordered mischievously.

“Yes sir!” She said with a laugh as she kicked off her boots and shrugged out of her soggy, still blood-stained robes.

“Much better,” he hummed as he ran his eyes up her naked body.

“You’re still in your armour, sir; let me help you out of it.”

She crawled over to him on her hands and knees. She lifted his hand to her mouth and bit the end of his finger and tugged at the leather, slowly easing his glove off. She repeated the process with his other glove. He was staring down at her, and in the darkness of the tent his eyes looked black. She licked her lips as she manoeuvred to stand behind him; she tugged at the strappings of his armour until they came undone. Once everything was untied she ripped them off of him, leaving him naked as well. Another flash of light illuminated his body, giving her a glimpse of his hard cock; she growled and their lips clashed together.

She was desperate for him, for his touch. Her hands found his hair and pulled on it roughly, as his hands weaved down her body and pulled her close to him. She moaned at the feel of his cock twitching against her stomach.

They hadn’t actually had sex yet; they were taking things slow. Neri was worried she would freak out on him, and the assassin didn’t want to scare her, so they had spent time kissing and experimenting before moving on to more passionate and intimate acts.

But she was done waiting. As she lay dying in Arietta’s arms she didn’t have a ‘life flashing before her eyes moment’ but she did have regrets; she saw all the things left unsaid and undone, and they made her mad. She would break out of the void itself to come back to this world if she left it before fucking someone.

He eased her to the floor and moved over her as they continued to kiss. She wrapped her legs and arms around him; she needed him, a solid presence she could anchor herself to. He kissed the edge of her mouth, her jaw; he licked his way up her long ears then sucked on her earlobes before nibbling his way down to her needy breasts. He massaged them gently and her nipples hardened as his fingers grazed them.

 “Come sei bella,” he whispered, as he found her scar and kissed it sweetly.

A shiver ran down her spine, and a smile touched her lips. He was so gentle, so caring, but she knew he could be other things too, playful, daring, aggressive, if she wanted it.

She stroked his face and pulled his lips to hers again, she encouraged him to roll over, and straddled him so his cock was pressing against her ass. She moved up and down slowly, teasing him as his cock brushed against her. He was gasping for air as she pulled away with a smile tugging at her lips.

“Someone’s eager tonight,” she teased.

“For two weeks I have entertained myself; of course I’m eager,” he growled.

She grinned, and he pulled her down and captured her mouth with an ardent kiss. He tasted of honey and lemon again, mixed with whisky, and he smelt like vanilla this time; it was intoxicating. His hand moved down to her arousal and found her wet and wanting. She gasped as his fingers pinched her throbbing nub and began to circle it. Her body was already quivering under his touch, her legs shaking and spasms rippling through her.

She moved her hand behind her back and grabbed his cock, and he grunted. She ran her hands up and down the long shaft, and he closed his eyes as the sensation washed over him. She moved down and took him in her mouth, and he sucked in air through his teeth.

She swirled her tongue around the swollen tip, and bobbed her head up and down. His hands fisted the sheets, and her lips curved into a smile.

 “I love watching you come undone for me,” she hummed against his shaft, making him groan.

She took his length deep into her mouth, and watched his ragged breathing and the rhythmic motion of his hips grinding into her.  He was close, so close. She pulled away and he let out a feral groan before grabbing her and throwing down into the rugs. Her body burned from his touch and her sex throbbed.

“Ti desidero,” he growled.

He spread her legs and licked her dripping wet cunt, his tongue gliding along the slit before swirling over her aching nub. She bucked her hips into him, losing herself to him. She gasped as his tongue plunged inside of her, and her whole body shuddered.

He had her on the edge in a matter of minutes, and she came, crying out his name as her hands clawed at the blankets.

He moved over her and kissed her sweetly. “I could watch you cum all night.”

“Only all night?” She giggled.

He laughed. “Are all Grey Wardens this insatiable?”

“I want you to fuck me,” she said seriously as she stroked the skin of his facial tattoo.

He cupped her hand. “Are you sure?”

She looked into his honey eyes and nodded. “Erase his touch.”

She spread her legs and he hovered over her, he flicked his eyes up to look at her and she nodded. He eased into her; sucking in air through his teeth as he did so, and she gasped as he filled her completely. They moved together; gasping and moaning as the rain pattered down on their tent and the thunder roared.

She screamed his name when she came, as waves of euphoric pleasure washed over her. Zevran came moments later, grunting and gasping as he spilled his seed into her. She held him close as he lay on top of her while they caught their breath.

She stroked his silky hair and ran her hand down his back. She kissed his face and he lifted his head.

 “ _That_ was fun, no?” He smiled playfully.

She smirked. “And that’s just the beginning, my dear; you wait until I use my magic on you.” She wiggled her eyebrows.

His cock twitched inside of her and she rocked her hips.

“Again? I’m game.” He grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ti desidero = I want you [I think -- blame google translate for any terrible Italian!]


	35. On the road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a chill morning the gang head for Redcliffe.

She awoke with a smile as the assassin shifted next to her. She opened an eye and peeked at him. In the early morning light he looked marvellous, his tight, muscled torso was on show. She eyed the light blonde hairs that trailed down his navel and disappeared under the blankets. She sighed contently.

“You Wardens really don’t sleep much, do you?” he mumbled.

She chuckled softly. “I slept better last night than I have for a while, though.” She kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”

A smile spread across his lips. “Anything for you, my dear.”

“Anything?” A roguish smile spread across her lips.

He sat up on his elbows and laughed. “Well now, that depends entirely on what it is you want, no?”

“I want to make you cum.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “That sounds like an excellent idea.”

“I’m going to do it without touching you.” She grinned.

He gasped a little, then licked his lips as his eyes sparkled. “Oh? This should be good.”

She pushed him back to the floor and ripped the blankets off of him. She smiled and told him to relax as she focused a ball of force magic between her hands. She had learnt this particular _talent_ some time ago; she could bend and shape the magic to do whatever she desired. It was her ‘move’.

She let her magic flow over him very slowly at first, like water lapping at a beach or a gentle breeze. Goose bumps prickled his skin and he let out a soft moan. She brushed his neck and ears and he groaned. She swirled it down his ribs and navel, making him shiver. She circled her magic around his cock, moving it up and down. He pushed his head back against the pillow and gasped.

Her magic swirled around the tip of his cock and his breathing became heavy. She went lower, massaging his balls, and then she went lower still; he groaned as she teased at his forbidden entrance. She knew he liked men and women both, but she wasn’t sure whether to go further; his groans of pleasure seemed to suggest he liked it. She pressed her magic inside of him and he gasped and grabbed the sheets. She thrust her magic in and out of him, letting it swirl and vibrate as she also poured it up and down his cock. He was starting to tremble under her onslaught, and she quickened her pace as sweat started to drip down her brow.

He was about to cum, so she let out a blast of magic over his swollen tip and the sweet spot deep inside him, and he came, screaming her name as his seed spurted across his stomach.

She flopped down next to him, completely spent.

He slowly returned to her and opened his eyes. “That… was… incredible,” he said breathlessly.

She kissed him on the cheek. “Told ya I could.”

He grinned. “And I will never doubt you again.”

They cleaned up, dressed and made their way outside.

Most of their camp were sitting around the fire, and had definitely heard Neri and Zevran’s _activities_.

“Do you two ever stop?” Morrigan glowered.

“You’re welcome to join us next time, Morrigan.” Neri winked.

The witch scrunched up her nose. “I would not bed that assassin if he was the last man in Thedas.”

Neri grinned. “But you would bed me? Good to know.”

Morrigan gasped. “That is not what I meant.”

“I don’t blame you Morrigan, I _am_ irresistible.” Neri flicked her hair back dramatically.

“Someone’s awfully cocky today,” Leliana mused.

Neri plonked herself down next to the bard. “Someone’s had a lot of cock.” She smirked.

Leliana giggled, and Zevran let out a hearty ‘har’ as he sat down with them.

He leant in to Neri’s ear “So, I am curious; that thing you just did, does it work on women too?” He glanced at Leliana and smiled impishly.

Neri grinned and nodded her head.

“You know, Leliana, you’re quite welcome to join us some time,” Zevran hummed.

Leliana raised her eyebrows. “I– really? I don’t know. I haven’t for a while…”

“The more the merrier.” Neri chuckled.

Alistair and Arietta clambered out of their tent.

Zevran smiled. “Do you think the royal couple would want to join us?” he whispered to her.

Arietta and Alistair sat down and pulled out some breakfast.

Arietta eyed them all suspiciously. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh nothing, my dear, nothing at all.” Zevran lied.

Arietta glared at them but went back to eating.

Wynne came out of her tent and sat next to Leliana. “Your scar is looking much better today, Neri.”

Neri glanced down at the ugly line on her breast. “Honestly Wynne, you’re supposed to be the best healer in the Circle, and yet I have this ugly fucker on my tit.” She giggled.

“Considering the desperateness of the situation, and our exhaustion, you’re lucky you only have a scar.” Wynne said sternly.

Neri sighed. “I know. I just wish it wasn’t on my boob.”

“No matter how it looks, it will serve as reminder of what you overcame.” Leliana said.

“I suppose it is a good story: action, tragedy, suspense; if Morrigan was my lover come to rescue me it would have been perfect.” Neri grinned.

Morrigan made a disgusted noise and walked away.

Arietta snorted. “Well, if you’re going to start writing about our adventures, perhaps write us all a happy ending? “

Neri nodded her head sadly.

…

The water was freezing. She had walked down to the river after breakfast, stripped down and jumped into the water. Leliana and Arietta were laughing as Neri clutched herself and shivered. She needed this though, she had managed to remove most of the blood and dirt using streams in the Deep Roads but nothing could compare to a proper soak.

Leliana sat on a rock and unlaced her boots. “Are you going to put those dirty robes back on after?” She asked.

Neri chewed on her lip. “I guess not.”

Arietta pulled off her shirt. “I’m sure Bodahn has a jerkin and some trousers you could wear.”

Neri nodded as she tried to untangle her curls; they were more knotted than they’d ever been before. She groaned in frustration and gave up.

“Looks like you’ll need to cut them out.” Leliana said sympathetically.

Neri gasped. “I’ve never cut my hair before.”

They both looked at her like she was mad. “What? How come?” Arietta asked.

She gave them a sheepish smile. “Anders always liked my hair long.”

“Awww, how adorable,” Leliana cooed.

Neri splashed water at her and Leliana screamed. “That’s freezing!”

Neri washed her face. “I think we were just in Orzammar so long we got used to the heat.”

Arietta dipped her toe into the river, then edged in with a moan of relief. “It’s so good to be out of those tunnels.”

Leliana clambered into the water with a gasp, and ducked her head under the water.

“What did you guys even do while we were in the tunnels?” Neri asked her.

“Beat the dwarves at their own card games, and their drinking games, walked Schmooples and Blossom, read some books, told some stories, sang a few songs, the usual.” Leliana smiled.

Neri sighed. “That sounds like so much fun.”

“Dwarves are actually a lot of fun once you get over the smell.” Leliana giggled.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the smell of Oghren.” Neri groaned.

“It would be fine if you hadn’t told him that he’d be blown away!” Arietta exclaimed. “Now he jumps at every gust of wind and won’t stop shouting at the sky.”

Neri laughed. “I’m sorry, it was just too funny.”

She tried again to untangle her curls then sighed. “Do you know how to cut hair?” she asked quietly.

Leliana grinned, and clapped her hands excitedly. She picked up her pack and started rummaging through it. “I have a knife in my pack.” She scrunched up her face as she pulled out a hand towel and a bag of dried fruit. “Ah here it is.” She pulled out a small blade and it shun in the sunlight.

Neri let out a sigh, and climbed out of the river. She wrapped herself in a towel and sat down, with a huff, on the grassy bank. Leliana began cutting away, and Neri winced at every slice, and cringed when she saw long chunks of her hair falling to the floor.

“I’ll grab you some fresh clothes.” Arietta wandered off back through the trees.

“All done!” Leliana said cheerily.

“If I look like a boy I will throw your tent into the fire,” Neri growled.

Leliana rummaged in her pack and passed Neri a small mirror; Neri gasped.

Her blonde hair fell around her face instead of down her back; the curls were tighter and wilder as they flicked in different directions, and she had a side fringe that swept across her face. She looked so different.

She grinned. “Thank you Leli, I love it.”

“Yay! It’ll be so much easier to manage too.”

“You look cute, Neri.” Arietta said as she returned with new clothes.

“Cute!? Bah, I look hot; don’t deny it, sweet cheeks.” Neri wiggled her eyebrows.

Arietta threw a boot at Neri but she batted it aside with her magic.

They dressed and Neri skipped into camp.

Alistair and Zevran’s mouths fell open.

“You like?” She said to Zev.

He walked toward her, and ran his fingers through her hair. “As long as I can still do this.” He grabbed a fist of hair and kissed her. She moaned into his mouth, and wrapped her arms around him.

He pulled away and smirked. “I approve. I will no longer have to worry about choking on your hair as we sleep.”

She gasped and punched his shoulder lightly.

“Such long hair, it gets everywhere!” He exclaimed. “It was in my stew the other week; tell me how does it find its way into such a place?”

“At least I don’t groan in my sleep!” She stuck her tongue out.

He gasped and feigned offence. “I cannot control what my body does while I sleep, especially when I dream of you.” He winked.

She realised the other members of their group were all just watching them.

“What?” She glanced at each of them.

They all chuckled.

Arietta grinned. “You’re acting like a couple.”

“What!? We are not.” Neri crossed her arms.

“You really are.” Alistair said smugly.

“Oh please! At least we’re not like an old married couple like you two! You were sitting holding hands the other week, discussing the weather and politics; you even said the phrase ‘the good old days’.” Neri chuckled.

They both blushed.

“Well I think we can all be thankful you’re not actually old people, otherwise the sex would be very disturbing.” Leliana said.

Wynne looked up from folding her bedroll. “Is that so?” She scolded.

“Oh Wynne, I didn’t mean– you’re very sprightful for an older woman, I’m sure you’d be… wonderful in bed still.” Leliana turned scarlet.

Wynne folded her arms and craned her head to the side.

“Bah, that’s quite a hole you just dug for yourself.” Oghren said.

“You do have incredible tits Wynne.” Neri mused.

“Mmm, it is a magical bosom.” Zevran smirked.  

Wynne rolled her eyes and went back to folding her bedroll.

…

They packed up their things and began walking towards Redcliffe. Leliana hummed a few songs as they walked, and most of their group were in animated conversation. Neri could hear Alistair and Arietta speaking with Bodahn and Sandal about their plans for the future. Zevran was teasing Wynne about her magical bosom some more, so Neri dropped back to walk with Morrigan who, for once, wasn’t flying high above in bird form or running through the trees as a wolf.

“What will you do after the Blight?” Neri asked. “Your mother is gone; will you stay with us? Or leave?”

Morrigan scowled a little. “You are presuming we survive the Blight at all…”

“Okay, sure, but let’s say we do; what will you do? Where will you go?”

Morrigan sighed. “Travel; I’d like to leave Ferelden.”

Neri nodded. “I’d like to see Antiva, Rivain, even Orlais. They all sound beautiful. Hey, perhaps we could go together?” Neri grinned.

“Perhaps indeed.” Morrigan said quietly.

Neri frowned, but decided not to pester the witch further.

…

A group of three armed men were standing in the road in front of them.

“That’s far enough.” A blonde haired man said.

“We’re just travelling through. Let us pass, we don’t want any trouble.” Arietta said calmly.

“Ah, but we do.” The man grinned.

More men walked out of the trees to surround them; a group of twenty or so.

“Surrender, and we might let the men live; ‘fraid the girlies are comin’ with us.” He smiled smugly.

Arietta looked over her shoulder at Neri and Neri nodded back.

She stepped forward and cracked her knuckles. “See, if you were just bandits I’d just cut off your hands, but you’re rapists too.” She grinned menacingly.

She focused hard and lifted the men into the air, just a few feet off the ground; they were much too heavy for her to do more. They all screamed and cried out. Neri disarmed them, and pointed their swords and daggers at their groins. They all screamed in terror, and started apologising profusely.

Neri looked at Arietta, and the rogue shook her head.

Arietta walked up to the leader and pulled out her knife; he started to piss his pants as he cried out for mercy. Arietta cut his arm and dabbed at the blood seeping from the cut with a rag.

 “You hurt anybody else, ever again, and my mage friend here will know; she’ll hunt you down with her blood magic,” Arietta said icily and Neri continued to grin manically to help sell it. “Do I make myself clear?”

The man bobbed his head up and down as sweat trickled down his face.

“Good.”

Neri dropped them all to the floor, and they all carried on down the road.

“Nice bluff.” Zevran chuckled.

Arietta smiled sadly. “People fear mages; might as well use it against them.”

“It is handy; those men probably didn’t deserve to live though.” Neri said.

“Perhaps, but I’m rather tired of all the death recently.”

 

…

 

The birds were singing nearby, sweet little tunes that she found herself humming along with as she sat on the grass making daisy chains. It was officially spring time now and she was thankful for it.

They had arrived at the Castle after a couple of weeks on the road; it was busier this time, Eamon’s Landsmeet plans were clearly in full swing. There were lords and ladies present at the castle who were offering support. Neri’s barrier from Ostagar had done a lot of good, it seemed; the soldiers were spreading word of Loghain’s betrayal and the nobles were listening to them.

Eamon had said it would be at least a month yet until he’d consider leaving for Denerim, and perhaps two, which meant they all suddenly found themselves with a lot of free time. She spent most of her days training and reading, and most of her nights with Zevran.

She heard footsteps as someone approached her.

 _Not Leliana, Zevran, or Arietta, probably not Morrigan either_ , _she never heard them approach._

The steps were too quiet though for Oghren or Alistair or Sten. She could hear the rustle of fabric dragging along the grass.

“Hello Wynne,” she guessed.

The elder mage chuckled. “Those rogues have really taught you a thing or two.”

Neri turned to look at her and smiled. Wynne was wearing a long dark brown gown, there were golden flowers and swirls sewn into the skirt, and for once her hair was hanging loosely around her face.

“You look lovely, Wynne.”

The older woman smiled. “Thank you, as do you. I have to admit I could get used to wearing such nice dresses.”

“Me too; those Tower robes were so ugly. There’s something so nice about a silk dress, lightly touching your skin, with the spring air blowing gently against you as the sun warms your skin.”

Wynne chuckled. “I suppose we shouldn’t get too used to it. I don’t think it’s a very practical outfit to fight darkspawn in.”

“It might confuse them at least; give them pause, enough to bury an arrow in their eye.”

“Somehow I doubt the darkspawn pay attention to what we wear.” Wynne sat on the nearby bench and arranged her gown.

Neri continued to tie the daisies together. “Was there something you needed, Wynne?”

“I wanted to give you this. It’s a balm that should help with scaring.”

Neri took it from her. “Oh Wynne, it’s not so bad, really. I know I complain that it’s ugly but maybe it’s good to be reminded now and again how close to death I came?”

A smile crinkled at her lips and she nodded. “It’s a scary experience.”

Neri let out a small sigh. “Yes.”

Wynne was quiet for a moment. “I still wonder when my time will end,” she said softly. “Will I just drop dead with no warning, or will I know when it is time?”

Neri chewed on her lip. “Perhaps you could ask the nice spirit if you’ve got an expiry date.”

She chuckled. “If I could speak with it, I wouldn’t ask it that, I’d ask it why it picked me, why it saved me.”

Neri nodded. “I’ve never really heard of spirit possession until you; it is quite remarkable.”

“Mmm, it is nice to no longer feel alone or lost, instead I feel safe and loved; even if I was dying, I would do so with a smile on my face as the spirit embraced me one final time and then let go.”

Neri looked at her sympathetically. “There are better ways to stop feeling lonely, Wynne.” Neri giggled.

“Oh you are impossible to have a serious conversation with; Zevran has rubbed off on you far too much.”

“Yes, he has.” Neri winked.

Wynne rolled her eyes.

“Oh come on, I’m just screwing around, heh, literally.”

Wynne glared at her.

“Is this the part where you tell me I’m not taking my Grey Wardening seriously enough? Tell me to stop seeing Zevran because he’s a distraction?”

“No, actually. I think he cares for you, more than you realise.”

“Wynne, of course he cares for me, I care for him too; we wouldn’t be doing this if we didn’t _like_ each other.”

“Do you still love Anders?”

Her mouth hung open for a moment. “Maybe I do.” She swallowed. “But he’s locked in the tower like a damsel in distress, only this time I’m not saving him. A relationship with him could never work; I’m a Grey Warden and he’s a Circle mage. The only way for us to be together would for him to be an apostate, or if he somehow joined the Wardens, and I would never put him through the Joining - it could kill him.”

“And does Zevran know this?”

“He knows it’s casual. It’s all just a bit of fun, Wynne.”

“So much is uncertain about the days and months to come; perhaps you should pay your friends in the tower a visit, Anders included?”

“You mean say goodbye to them? Wynne I’ve had my fill of near death experiences; I do not intend to die, we can do this, we can end it, _without_ dying.”

“I hope you are right, but wouldn’t you rather go into that fight with no regrets?”

“I don’t have any regrets; I did have one when I was dying in the Deep Roads, but I’ve more than taken care of that now.” She smirked.

“Tsk. It is a wonder that poor elf can keep up with you.”

“He may not have Grey Warden stamina, but Zev does quite well considering.” Neri giggled.

Wynne shook her head but there was a smile playing on her lips.

“Neri.” Arietta said.

Neri jumped a little and turned to see the rogue behind her

Arietta looked nervous. “We have some stuff to take care of in the north of the country.”

Neri craned her head to the side. “Oh?”

“Oghren needs to speak to an old flame, and there is a man here called Levi Dryden, who says he knows of an old Warden base in the mountains, which I think could be worth checking out.” She sighed. “And because we’ll already be almost next door to it… I’m going to help my brother take back Highever.”

 

 


	36. To the Tower once more

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neri decides she does want to say goodbye to her friends, but she takes Zevran along with her.

She stared at the Tower in the middle of the lake; it was late morning, and for once there was no fog swirling around the base of the tower. She could see the portcullis, and the ‘secret’ Templar entrance hidden in the rock at the base of the tower. The Templars used it to sneak out at night, or to smuggle goods in. Anders had used it once to escape. None of the Templars had admitted to its existence because they didn’t want to lose such an exit; they did guard it more closely afterwards though.

She looked at Zevran who was also staring up at the tall building.

Neri’s lips parted into a smile. “Do you want to come with us?”

Zevran quirked an eyebrow and smiled softly. “And meet your friends?”

She gave him a lopsided grin and shrugged a shoulder. “Why not?”

He threw his hand over his shoulder dramatically. “You just want to show off the awesomeness that is Zevran Arainai,” he said in feigned offence but there was a smug smile on his face.

She stifled a giggled with her hand. “You caught me. I want to show you off to all my friends, and make them jealous.”

“Did they not teach you to share your toys?” Zevran smiled playfully.

Neri’s eyes twinkled mischievously as a grin spread across her lips. Wynne groaned, and walked across the dock to greet Kester.

They hopped in the boat and rowed across the glistening blue waters.

Arietta and the others were in the tavern helping Oghren with an old flame, so Wynne and Neri had decided to pop over to the tower to say their goodbyes. The older mage was staring up at the tower with an unreadable expression on her face.

Their boat pulled up against the dock and they clambered out.

Some Templars greeted them inside and allowed them entry into the rest of the Tower.

“I need to speak with Greagoir,” Neri said out loud.

“He will probably be upstairs; I am going to go find Irving.” Wynne headed up the tower.

“Want a tour?” Neri asked Zev.

He grinned and nodded.

The tower was _almost_ back to normal; the floor was clean, the furniture was fixed and back in its rightful place. But there was something _off_ with the tower; the children looked sad, the mages were more nervous, and the Templars seemed more suspicious. She could feel the thinness of the veil too, it tickled at her skin; it was particularly bad in the chamber the sloth demon had resided in, and she dreaded to think how bad the Harrowing chamber must be.

She walked into Greagoir’s office; he sat at his desk doing some paper work. He looked up at her as she entered, and then eyed Zevran suspiciously. Greagoir’s hair was greyer than she’d ever seen it, and he had big black bags under his eyes.

“Afternoon,” she said merrily.

He sat back in his chair, clasped his hands, and regarded her coolly. “Hello, Neria.”

She plonked herself in the chair in front of his desk, with a smile on her face. “How are things?”

He sighed, rubbing at his face as if to wipe away his worries. “Poor. We have recruited more Templars, but they are young and inexperienced. No doubt you can feel it, but the veil is thin here now. Should there be another breach I fear we will be grossly outnumbered.” His fingers circled his temples as he stared down at the papers on his desk.  

She craned her head to the side. “You will need move the Circle elsewhere, I assume?”

He nodded and inhaled deeply. “Yes, but that will have to wait until after the Blight.” He glanced at Zevran. “Who is this?”

“Ah, how rude of me. Knight-Commander Greagoir, this is Zevran Arainai, a _friend_ of mine.” She smirked.

Zevran dipped his head. “Such a lovely tower you reside in. A shame you don’t seem to have many windows though; the view would be quite beautiful.” Zevran smiled lopsidedly.

“If we had windows the mages would no doubt try to escape through them. The only windows are on the upper levels; it would take an extremely stupid mage to try to escape out of them,” he huffed.

“Or a reckless one,” Neri mused.

She and Anders had talked about using that as an escape route once, or rather Anders had, claiming he needed Neri to help break their fall with her magic. She had told him it was a dumb idea.

“Can I see Anders, Greagoir?” she said softly.

A frown marred his brow. “I knew this was coming.”

She chuckled softly. “Oh darn, I’ve become predictable!”

His eyes were steely as he looked her. “Neria, you know he is in solitary, which means **no** company.”

She batted her eyelashes at him and smiled sweetly. “Can’t you make an exception for me? So I can say goodbye?” She pouted.

He clenched his jaw. “You already said goodbye, remember?”

She leant forward in her chair. “Yes but–”

He cut her off with a wave of his hand. “No buts; you are not to see him. Especially not with a _rogue_ at your side. You might try to free Anders,” he said suspiciously.

She gasped. “Me? Help a Circle mage escape? Neverrrr.” She smirked.

“Jowan was made tranquil some time ago, and how do you feel about that, I wonder?”

She crossed her legs and eyed him coolly. “You know my feelings about the Rite.”

“But you saw what he did; surely you agree it was necessary?”

She frowned. “You could have killed him instead. If I was running the Circle, instead of the Chantry, I’d at least give mages a choice: tranquillity or death.” She decided to change the subject. “How is Cullen doing?”

Greagoir looked down at his hands and shook his head solemnly. “He is not the same. I worry about him.” Greagoir looked up at her with sad eyes. “Perhaps you could speak with him?”

“Uhhh, sure.”

She hadn’t spoken with him since the whole Uldred thing. He was a changed man, he mistrusted mages a great deal now, and he even seemed to dislike Neri, which had been shocking, considering his bottled up feelings for her.

Greagoir cleared his throat and picked up his quill again. “Your friends are in their quarters I believe, you may see them.”

She smirked playfully again. “It sounds like you’re trying to get rid of me.”

“That’s because I am,” Greagoir said gruffly, but a small smile played at the corners of his mouth.

She snorted and exited his office.

“Charming fellow,” Zevran commented.

“He’s a bit of a prick, but I suppose he’s not too bad. I used to hate him, but I find myself having other things to focus my hate on now-a-days, like darkspawn and Archdemons.” She chuckled.

“A true Grey Warden!” Zevran smirked.

She heard Solona giggling before she found the raven haired mage in her chambers.

“He turned crimson, and said ‘I don’t know how that got there!’” She heard Titch chuckle and Sol burst out laughing.

Neri strolled into Sol’s quarters. “Replacing me as a prankster are you Titch?” She smirked

“NERI!” Sol ran and picked her up; they both laughed and screamed as Sol spun her through the air.

“It’s good to see you too.” Neri chuckled.

Sol was staring at something behind her, Neri turned to see Zevran grinning quite handsomely.

“HA! Sol, this is Zevran, my _friend._ ” She wiggled her eyebrows. “Zevran, this is Solona Amell, one of my best friends.”

“So nice to meet you, my dear.” Zevran kissed her hand and Sol’s eyes sparkled.

“And this is Titch.”

Titch snorted. “I’m apparently not one of her best friends.”

Neri laughed and hugged him all the same.

Sol ran her hands through Neri’s hair. “I love your hair, Neri!” The raven haired mage sent sparks of electricity rippling across Neri’s scalp, and a moan passed across Neri’s lips. “Have you missed my magic?” Sol whispered.

Neri gulped, and nodded her head.

“I’ve missed yours,” Sol said breathlessly.

“I’m gonna go…” Titch chuckled and walked out the room.

Sol looked at Zevran again, her eyes glistening with curiosity. “So you’re both…?”

Zevran smirked. “We are.”

Solona looked back at Neri and glared at her. “Why do you get all the good ones?”

Neri’s face broke into a grin, as she flopped down onto Sol’s bed. “I’m irresistible.”

Solona folded her arms, but a smile tugged at her lips. “Yes, you are.”

“She is.” Zevran agreed, as he moved to sit on the bed too.

“So, how have things been since… you know? Are you okay?” Neri asked.

Sol perched on the edge of the bed with a sigh. “Can you feel the veil?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“You can hear whispers sometimes, old conversations; sometimes you can even see things. The tower is haunted now,” she said sadly, with a hint of apprehension in her voice.

Neri looked at her sympathetically. “They’ll build a new one, once the Blight is over.”

Sol’s blue eyes found Neri’s brown, and they were filled with unshed tears. “Is that why you’re here, to say goodbye?” Sol asked quietly.

Neri sat up and squeezed her shoulder. “I don’t like goodbyes, but Wynne thought it best to…” Neri sighed. “I will do whatever it takes to survive though.” She looked back up and grinned roguishly. “You know, I didn’t see any Templars on this floor…” She smirked. “If this _is_ the last time we see one another, I’d want it to be special,” Neri said, her voice low, as she ran a hand up Sol’s thigh and squeezed.

Sol’s face lit up, and she glanced at Zevran impishly, before turning back to Neri with a grin.

…

Solona’s tongue-fucking had her close to the edge for the fourth time now. The raven haired mage turned her tongue icy cold again, and Neri writhed beneath her. Solona was sitting on Zevran’s face as she ground her hips up and down; Neri could hear his muffled groans and moans as he continued to lick her out.

“I – oh my!” Cullen stuttered from the doorway.

Neri turned beetroot, but Solona giggled and Neri came with a scream, and Zevran’s laughter made Solona cum for the third time.

When Neri opened her eyes again Cullen was gone.

“Shit,” Neri muttered. Solona rolled off of Zevran and Neri leapt to her feet. She slid back into her shirt and trousers. “I won’t be long,” she yelled, as she ran down the corridor to find the Templar.

She found him pacing in the corridor the colour of a tomato.

“Cullen,” she said breathlessly.

He spun to face her with wide eyes. “Greagoir said you were back – I didn’t….” He cleared his throat. “I wanted to speak to you.”

She took a deep breath. “Of course. I’m sorry you saw that, uhh….display.” She blushed furiously.

He rubbed his very red neck. “I wanted to wish you luck, with the Blight. Things have been difficult since…” He looked down at the ground. “I know I said some things… harsh things. You are not like other mages.” His eyes flicked up to her and she could tell he still cared about her.

She smiled softly and patted his arm. “You went through hell, Cullen. I’m just sorry we didn’t get to the tower sooner.”

A shadow passed over his face and his features darkened. “It was _horrible_.” He scowled at the floor. “The tower is not the same now.”

Neri let out a small sigh. “I know, the veil is thin. I can feel it.” She stepped closer to him, forcing him to look her in the eye again. “Once the Blight is over we’ll build a new one,” she assured him.

She watched him swallow. “It might not be enough to save the mages.” His brow furrowed. “Already the demons whisper to them.”

She shook her head. “The ones still left, they are strong, Cullen. They won’t fall prey to demons. You have to have faith.” Her eyes flicked across his face looking for any sign of her old Cullen.

“Faith.” He laughed bitterly. “I used to believe in the tower, in the system, in the Chantry,” he said sadly. “But what good was any of that against those _monsters_?” He shook his head. “We were helpless; there was so much death, so much horror. I can still hear their voices, their screams; see the demons taunting me…”

She cupped his face. “The nightmares will lessen, the memories will fade and the voices will quieten, in time. Stay strong, okay? You’re a good man, Cullen.” His eyes were shining with unshed tears. “You were there when I needed you, I wish I could be here for you now, but I **have** to stop the Blight.” He cupped her hand with his, and closed his eyes as he leant into her touch. “This is not goodbye. I _will_ survive the Blight, and I’ll come back to help with the new tower, okay?”

He nodded.

“Just hang on until then.” She kissed his cheek and walked away. 


	37. Highever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Cousland siblings take back Highever.

Arietta took another deep breath, and wiped the sweat trickling down the side of her face.

“You’re nervous, Etta,” Fergus said from her side.

“Aren’t you?” She quirked an eyebrow at her brother.

He gave her a slight nod. “Less so with you at my side.” He smiled. “Thank you, for coming with me.”

She took a deep breath. “We have time to, and it may be of benefit; it will help us win more nobles to our side if we retake our home.”

He smiled slightly. “That would be good, I’ll just be glad to see our home no longer in that traitor’s hands,” he said more sternly.

She threaded her arm through her brother’s as they continued to walk along the dirt road. “You said it was Thomas left in charge?”

He sighed. “That’s what my scouts reported.”

“He had a crush on me,” Arietta admitted.

“I know, he’d always ask after you.” He smirked. “I never liked him,” he grumbled.

She chuckled. “He was a grovelling weasel, always sucking up to his father, desperate for his attention.”

“Mmm. We should probably decide if we’re going to let him live or not…”

Arietta looked up at her brother. “I’d prefer not to kill him; it’s obvious he’s just following orders.”

Fergus scowled a little. “And if he’s not?”

“Then we’ll deal with that when we get there.”

…

Arietta’s legs were sore from crouching in the bushes, but they had to be certain.

Fergus shifted next to her with a groan. “We’ve been here three hours now, sis, and we haven’t seen a single patrol.”

She exhaled. “I know, and I don’t like it.” She searched the battlements for signs of activity again.

“Maybe they don’t think it’s necessary?” Alistair suggested.

“Can we _please_ just go take back your castle now?” Neri said impatiently.

Arietta sighed. “Alright, we go in quick and quiet.” She shuffled forward into the tall grass.

The sun was just setting behind the trees, casting the entire field in shadow. They snuck across the field until they reached two large rocks. She swept the soil aside to reveal the trapdoor. She glanced at her brother and he nodded. She inserted her key, lifted the trap door up, and they all clambered down the steps. A ball of flame sputtered to life in Morrigan’s palm, and they lit the torches.

It wasn’t a particularly long walk to the castle larder, but it was a tense one. None of them knew what to expect, least of all Arietta and Fergus; this was their home and they were about to find out what had become of it.

“Are we certain this secret entrance of yours is still a secret?” Zevran asked.

“Well, we haven’t met any resistance yet, have we?” Leliana pointed out.

“I’m sure we’ll find out soon enough,” Arietta said bleakly.

“We could have just knocked on the front door,” Neri teased.

“I’m sure that would have gone over well, ‘oh evening sers, we’re here to take back our castle, do you mind if we come in?’” Fergus chuckled.

“We’re getting close,” Arietta warned.

They stared up at the ladder and Arietta took a deep breath.

Alistair squeezed her shoulder and gave her a reassuring smile; she nodded her head and climbed the ladder. She pushed up against the door but it wouldn’t budge.

“Shit,” she muttered.

“What is it?” her brother asked.

“Damn thing won’t open.”

“Has it been blocked up then?”

She rammed her shoulder into it but it still wouldn’t open. “Looks like it.”

“I guess we’re using the front door after all, unless you have a secret, secret entrance?” Neri quipped.

Arietta sighed and climbed back down the ladder.

“How do you want to handle this?” Fergus asked.

Arietta ran a hand through her hair. “Okay, here’s the new plan.”

…

“How do I look?” Neri asked.

“Hmm, you need to look more _subjugated_ , try looking sadder.” Zevran smirked.

They approached the castle gates and two guards stepped forward.

“Who goes there then?” One with a birth mark on his cheek asked.

“We are here to serve, ser. We were told you needed more servants?” Neri said innocently.

The guards chuckled. The other one, a man with a missing tooth, ran his eyes up and down Neri with a smirk. “Aye, this one will do nicely.” He grabbed a handful of her hair and she let out a cry.

“Hey now, friend, we’re here for honest work,” Zevran said, his voice strained.

“You’re here for whatever it is we say,” the guard snarled.

 _Charming lot_.

The guards grabbed them roughly, and knocked on the door three times, paused, then knocked twice more, and the doors opened for them. Neri glanced behind her shoulder at the little black bird perched on the wall and nodded.

The guards dragged them into the courtyard.

“Two more elves for ya; I’ll be wanting _her_ later though, so try not to spoil her too much.” The toothless guard laughed. He smacked Neri’s ass, and she let out another cry.

“Enough of that noise, bitch; you’ll be quiet unless spoken to, clear?” one of the courtyard guards admonished.

Her palms began to sweat and her heart rate picked up a bit; Albert had spoken similar words to her once.

Neri and Zevran glanced at each other nervously, and then nodded their heads sheepishly at the guards.

…

“Take out the two guards on the road, knock three times, pause, and then knock twice more.” Morrigan explained.

“Thank you, Morrigan,” Arietta said with a smile.

“You might want to hurry though; the guards almost certainly plan to use Neri for _entertainment_.” Morrigan’s nose crinkled.

Arietta swallowed hard and nodded.

“Please be careful, love.” Alistair kissed her cheek.

“You too, I’ll see you somewhere in the middle,” Arietta replied.

Leliana climbed up the wall first, gripping the rope tightly. Morrigan had already checked the battlements - they were empty - so it was safe for them to do this, but Alistair and Fergus would be too heavy for such a task. Leliana hopped over the wall and disappeared out of sight.

_1, 2, 3, 4, 5…_

Leliana reappeared and gave her the thumbs up.

Arietta grabbed hold of the rope and began to climb.

Leliana grabbed her hand and pulled her over the wall. Arietta caught her breath and looked around; the exterior wall and battlements were completely deserted. They crept along silently just in case, sticking to the shadows. They found the door down to the castle interior, and snuck down the steps quietly. Leliana peeked through the doorway and nodded the all clear.

They were in the gardens; _her_ gardens. She had been stargazing just there, across the grass, so many months ago, happy with her brother and Oren. Even in the darkness she could tell the garden was a mess; the flowers had wilted, the grass was dry and the trees were bare. It was bereft of all life.

There were some candles burning in the rooms above them.

“You take the left, I’ll take the right,” Arietta said to the bard.

Arietta moved in through the patio door and into one of the studies. There were papers and books strewn across the floor, and the desk was overturned. She had visited her father in this room many-a-time, he would always sit her upon the desk, while he worked. She’d ask him endless questions and he’d always answer her, even when he was very busy. She opened the door and walked into the corridor; a whimper escaped her lips as she saw the state of the halls. The rugs were stained red and there was rubble still on the ground; they hadn’t bothered to clear up after the attack.

_Pigs, bloody animals!_

She walked up the hall toward the bedrooms.

She found herself outside her own room again. She pushed the door open with a slight creak. The covers of her bed were crumpled and messy where she’d thrown them off in a hurry the night of the attack, or perhaps they were messy from some filthy guard sleeping in them. One of her childhood dolls was lying on the floor, splattered with blood; she picked it up and hugged it close.

Tears fell unbidden down her cheeks. She was trying to be strong, to be brave, to act like coming back here didn’t faze her, but of course it did. How could it not? She had expected Howe’s men to have at least taken care with their castle, to have cleaned up the mess from the attack… their complete lack of care and blatant disregard for all of their things made her sick to her stomach.

She put the doll on the bed and forced herself to check the other rooms. She pushed the door to Oren and Oriana’s room open and nearly gagged at the dried up blood stain still present on the stone.

She leant against the wall as sobs ripped through her.

What kind of man would leave such a stain for so many months?

_They are not men._

She heard a cry from the bedroom opposite. She crept across the hallway and put her ear to the door. It sounded like a woman’s sobs. She put her hand on the handle and twisted.  

…

Another guard pushed her and she fell to the floor with a cry. They were all cheering and hooting. A man picked her back up, and ripped open her shirt. She screamed as he grabbed her breasts roughly, and pulled her shirt off her completely.  

“Looky here boys, someone else has had some fun with her.” He showed them the scars marring her body.

“Did someone hurt you, pretty thing?” Another guard grabbed her chin roughly, his ale-breath made her gag.

She bit her tongue to stop her from making a comment. These men were pigs; vile, disgusting monsters. She was looking forward to killing them all.

The man holding her chin slammed his slimy lips into her own, and pushed his tongue into her mouth. Any attempt she made to pull away just caused his grip on her arms to tighten. The other man had stripped all of her clothes off now and was pinching her nipples roughly and fumbling to finger her.

Her heart pounded in her chest, and she felt the familiar tugging of the Fade as she readied a spell.  

“We’re under atta –“ The guard didn’t get to finish his sentence. Fergus put his sword through his belly.

Alistair, Zevran, Morrigan and the hounds charged in through the doors, and the guards fumbled to draw their weapons, as drunk as they all were. Neri slammed a few into the ground and knocked some others off balance so they fell straight into her friend’s blades.

Neri picked up her shirt and brushed it off as the guards around her cried and screamed. She slipped it back on, found her trousers and did the same, and then fixed her hair.

The man that had kissed her flopped to the floor in front of her, gurgling from his throat; she craned her head and smiled down at him. “Did someone hurt you, pretty thing?” she mocked.

He stared up at her with wide eyes as he took his last breath.

“Are you alright?” Zevran asked worriedly.

She looked up at him and smiled. “I am now.” She winked and stepped over the dead man.

Zevran had been separated from her; Neri had been used as entertainment, while Zev was placed with the unused servant’s in one of the side rooms. He had freed them all and then joined up with Alistair and Fergus as they stormed the castle.

Neri left most of the fighting, exiting the main hall, and headed toward the bedrooms where Leliana and Arietta were supposed to have headed, looking to kill any unsuspecting guards. A man with brown hair was running just ahead of her, he looked over his shoulder and saw her pursuing, and slammed straight into Fergus.

“Please! I tried to stop them!” the man cried.

“Thomas,” Fergus snarled, as Fergus pointed his sword at the cowering noble.

Thomas backed away with his hands up in surrender. “Fergus, I was just following orders! I tried to control them, they wouldn’t listen to me!” Thomas cried. His back hit the wall and he shrivelled away from Fergus, as he stalked toward him.

Neri was now stood flanking him, to stop him fleeing.

“Your men have been raping the servants,” Fergus said icily.

“Not my men, my fathers. Please, I didn’t do this.” Thomas flicked his head between Neri and Fergus, his eyes white with panic.

“Bullshit, you’re in charge. You sick fuck.” Fergus stood over him with his sword at Thomas’ neck.

“No, you don’t understand, my whole life they’ve never respected me.” He started to sob. “They do as they please. They are my father’s men.” He dropped to his knees. “Please, I never hurt anyone. I was just told to watch the castle, that’s all! You have to believe me!”

“We don’t,” Arietta suddenly said.

She walked down the ramp and stormed toward Thomas. Neri had never seen her look so angry; her face was red with fury, her entire body almost shaking with rage. Arietta threw a book to the floor in front of Thomas and his face turned white.

“You twisted fuck,” Arietta sneered, as she slammed her fist into his face.

Thomas blanched at spat blood onto the floor. When he looked back up he was laughing.

“It was worth a shot.” He chuckled.

…

“You tortured her, raped her! Did you really think this would impress him?” Arietta snarled.

This sadistic fuck had kept sweet Iona alive this entire time, if you could call it that. She had been beaten, _tortured_ , raped daily for months. The book Arietta slammed to the floor was his diary. Within its pages were details of everything he had done and his inner thoughts; he wanted his father to notice him, to be proud of him. He thought ‘being a man’ would get his attention; to Thomas that meant raping and torturing people, as he had apparently seen his father do frequently.

“You don’t know what it’s like; you are only two siblings, much loved by your parents.” He spat at their feet. “I’m the third child, the youngest, and the weakest. Do you know what it’s like to be a _spare_ heir?” He growled. “I tried so hard to get father’s approval, his attention, anything! But he always loved Nathaniel and Delilah more.” His face contorted in anger. “This was _my_ chance! My opportunity to show him I wasn’t useless!” He rose to his feet. “You **ruined** everything!”

“Your father will never love you.” She bared her teeth at him. “You are a loser, you always have been, and you disgust me.”

His lip twitched into a smile. “So kill me, or are you still the weak little girl you always were?”

“Let me,” Fergus said coolly.

She looked over her shoulder at him. There was a loud thud and Arietta spun her head back around. Thomas was being held against the wall by Neri’s magic, and a knife dropped out of his hand.  

Arietta turned to Neri who was looking a little pale. The elf shrugged apologetically. “He was going to stab you.”

“Who had he been torturing?” Fergus asked quietly.

“Iona; I left her with Leliana,” Arietta said sadly.

Fergus lowered his head, when he looked back up there was a fire in his eyes. “I knew we should have come back here sooner.”

He walked forward and plunged his sword into Thomas’ heart, and the vile noble fell to the floor dead.

Arietta took a shaky breath. “Howe killed everyone, I just assumed…”

He sighed. “We didn’t know about Thomas. It’s not your fault, sister.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Let’s check on the rest of the castle.”

…

They stripped the corpses, looting them of anything of worth, then burned them all on a single pyre. They deserved to be left to rot, but the castle was in ruins as it was; the last things it needed were corpses lying out in the open.

Neri was with Leliana and Iona now; the mage was very insistent she help Iona, having experienced similar circumstances herself. Neri seemed to be in a quiet rage, and Arietta hoped she was okay. Alistair was doing his best to clear up some of the castle, and Morrigan had flown back down the road to inform the knights lying in wait that the castle was theirs once more.

Arietta found herself in the kitchen, in the larder specifically, with her brother. There was a blood stain on the floor: her father’s life blood. And there was a splatter of blood across the wall; no doubt her mother had died from a slit throat or some other violent injury.

 “So this is where they – “ Fergus’ voice broke.

Arietta turned and squeezed his hand. “Yeah,” she whispered. “How are you holding up?” she asked quietly.

He took a shaky breath. “Not well. Hearing about the attack from you was one thing. To see this…” He pointed at the blood stain,” is something else entirely. And then there’s everything Thomas and his men have been doing all this time. Those poor elves, poor Iona.” He looked down at the ground. “I’m glad Oren and Oriana were killed quickly,” he whispered, as a tear fell down his cheek.

She hugged him as they both sobbed together. 


	38. An Old Warden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finishing up with their business in the North, they pop to the old Keep hidden in the snow.

She glanced over her shoulder at her castle; the Cousland banners were proudly blowing in the wind. She had left her brother to handle the cleaning up of the castle, and letting everyone know that the Cousland’s were back in Highever. It would only be a few days journey to Soldier’s Peak; they were to meet Levi Dryden a little ways down the road. She had left Iona with Leliana and Morrigan, and had asked Zevran to keep an eye out for anymore of Howe’s men while Fergus got things back in order. Which meant it was just Neri, Alistair and Arietta and the hounds heading for this mysterious old Grey Warden stronghold.

“Do you think Iona will be okay, Neri?”

The mage sighed. “I don’t know; she was in a bad way… Thomas did some really twisted things to her. Not just physical torture, but psychological stuff too, letting her think she was free only to hunt her with dogs…” Neri shook her head.

“And all so he could impress his father.” Arietta clenched her fists.

“She’s safe now at least,” Alistair said meekly.

Arietta glanced at the elf. “And what about you, Neri? I heard the guards got a bit rough with you?”

Neri snorted and shrugged a shoulder. “They were gross, but I’m fine,” Neri deflected, and her brown eyes locked onto Arietta’s blue. “How are you? It can’t have been easy going back there.”

Arietta nodded. “Not so different to your return to the tower, I should imagine, seeing it torn to pieces at the hands of monsters.”

Neri smiled sadly. “Hmm. You love Highever though; I never loved the Circle.”

Arietta kicked a stone. “True enough. It wouldn’t have been so bad if they had looked after the place… cleaned up after the attack.” She stared down at the ground grumpily. 

“And if they weren’t raping and torturing people?” Neri said lightly.

“Yeah, that too,” Arietta sighed.

“Well, when you return again it’ll be better, and if it’s anything like the second time I returned to the tower, you might even have a magical threesome,” Neri laughed woodenly.  

Arietta rolled her eyes. “Was that with Sol?”

“Yes,” Neri hummed wistfully. “You know, we would have amazing sex, us Wardens, I mean.”

“Uhhh.” Alistair blushed.

 _How was it possible for someone so tiny to be so horny all the time!?_ Arietta wondered.

“Neri, we are not –”

“I was simply making a comment.” Neri chuckled.

Arietta looked at the elf. “Do you think you’ll ever settle down with someone?”

Neri bust out laughing. “I’m a mage.”

Arietta frowned. “And?”

“ _And_ an elf, and a Grey Warden, and infertile?”

Alistair had told them some time ago, of another ‘sacrifice’ Wardens unwittingly made when they took the Joining. It had brought Arietta to tears to learn that she would never have children, never be able to give her parents grandchildren; and then she had remembered that they were dead, and she had cried some more.

“Tell me, who would want to marry an infertile elven mage?” Neri laughed, but there was a hint of bitterness there.

Arietta had never been subjugated based on her appearance or talents; she commanded respect, and when she spoke people listened, and if she needed something, people dropped whatever they were doing to help her. But Neri… because of her ears she had to earn people’s respect, and because of her magic she had to work hard to make them trust her.

 “Neri, you’re a person, like any other. If they love you, _what_ you are won’t matter, only who you are.”

“I know you’re right. But seeing the way those men treated those elves… treated Iona… it just reminded me how differently the world sees my kind. I don’t like being reminded that they think I’m weak just because of my ears, of course I know better, I’m stronger than all of those spineless guards. But there will always be a part of me that wishes I was  could have a normal life; no Circle, no taint, no magic, just I don’t know be a farmer or something!”

“But think how boring that would be!” Arietta smiled.

“Yeah, I cannot imagine you as a farmer, Neri,” Alistair said lightly.

Neri grinned. “Yeah, I’d be terrible.”

“What do you want to do once the Blight is over then?” Alistair asked.

“Travel; I have yet to see the ocean yet, thanks to you guys running around Denerim without me, the last time we were there.”

“You’ll get to see it soon enough!” Arietta smiled.

They found Levi not long after, waiting on a rock; he jumped off of it and was eager to head up the mountain.

The snow was getting thicker and thicker the further up they went, which made the trek exhausting. They were sat eating some dried meat and bread on a snowy outcrop while they caught their breath. Alistair was desperately trying to empty his boots of snow, or rather, water as it was now.

“Soggy socks. I _hate_ soggy socks!” he muttered.

Neri was rolling up snowballs. “You better not fling those at us,” Arietta mumbled.

Neri snorted. “Wanna build a snowman?”

“Not particularly; I’ll freeze my fingers off,” Arietta said, as she cupped her hands and blew hot air into them.

They reached the Keep not long after; the mystery of the Keep soon unravelled itself to them through a series of apparitions. The Wardens here had rebelled against the King and the King had squashed their rebellion with his army.

They had not expected to find Levi’s great, great grandmother walking around, possessed by a demon. In the end they had no choice but to kill her, with Levi admitting that the woman in front of them was no relative of his. Not long after they had stumbled upon the Warden mage from the apparitions; he was not possessed or a corpse, but a living breathing man, albeit with a lot more wrinkles than they had seen him with in the visions.

…

 “So what of me? Will you leave me to experiment in peace?” the old Warden mage asked. He was so old, his wrinkles had wrinkles; he had used blood magic to survive, Neri was quite certain she’d rather die young than look like _that_.

“I think you’ve lived long enough,” Arietta said coolly.

Just because he looked gross though, didn’t mean he wouldn’t be useful to them. “Wait,” Neri interrupted. “He knows a lot about Warden blood, Ari.”

Arietta frowned. “What’s your point?”

“Perhaps he can find a cure, or at least fix the infertility thing?” Neri prompted.

Arietta guffawed. “After everything he’s done, you want to let him live?”

Neri rolled her eyes. “You are both about to become King and Queen, but you won’t be able to produce an heir; the Theirin blood line will end with you, Alistair, unless we find a cure. What will happen when you both go on your Calling in thirty years? Who will rule after you? Your deaths could plunge Ferelden back into civil war. We **need** him alive,” Neri said stubbornly.

Arietta squeezed the bridge of her nose. “Fine.” She looked at Avernus. “You are not to leave this Keep, and you will focus on helping the Wardens, no dark magic, understand?”

He groaned. “Very well.”

“Good.”

Arietta turned to leave.

“I want to talk to him for a bit, you go on ahead,” Neri said nonchalantly.

Seeing Iona so defenceless, seeing what those soldiers did to her… she had her magic, but she knew that wouldn’t always be able to save her. She needed more.

Arietta gave the elf a quizzical look but nodded her head.

Neri waited for Alistair and Arietta to leave before looking at the old mage. “You mentioned being able to use the taint to fuel spells, _blood_ spells.”

Avernus smiled slightly and nodded his head.


	39. Gotcha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our Wardens have a bit of fun with each other.

Neri was inside the Keep for quite a while, so long in fact that Arietta got worried, and went back inside. She found Neri squealing happily, as she flicked through a dusty old tome.

“Neri?”

“Oh, sorry! I got distracted. We can leave now.” She smiled brightly.

Arietta nodded a farewell to the old Warden mage, and they exited the Keep.

Arietta peered at the smiling elf. “So, what did you want to talk to him about?”

“I noticed the tomes earlier, so I wanted to check them out; he let me borrow one!”

Arietta quirked an eyebrow. “That was it, just a book?”

Neri scoffed. “Not just _any_ old book, Arietta, a book on griffons!”

Arietta chuckled. “Okay then, we need to head back to Highever, and then on to Redcliffe, so you can’t read and walk.”

“Ohh, no fair.” Neri pouted.

…

They got lost more than once on their way back down the mountain, but as long as they were heading ‘down’ they had hoped to eventually reach the bottom, and they did.

“Really, why would I want a wet boot?” Neri exclaimed to Barkspawn, who was holding a tatty old boot in his maw.

The boot dropped to the floor and he barked happily.

Neri picked it up with a look of disgust on her face. “I have perfectly fine boots on; I do not need an odd boot!”

Barkspawn wagged his tail playfully and yapped at her some more.

Neri let out a sigh, and patted the hound on the head. “Yes, well done, thank you _so_ much!” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Barkspawn barked and bounded off again.

“He’s just being helpful,” Arietta mused; she gave Blossom a rub behind her ears.

“Does Blossom bring you old boots and worn trousers? Because I’ve been given enough of the damn things to outfit an army.”

Arietta chuckled. “Blossom is far too sensible for such nonsense.”

“She’s just old,” Neri retorted.

“How old is she now?” Alistair asked, as he too stroked Blossom.

“Hmm, nearly thirteen…”

“Is that old for a Mabari?” Neri questioned.

Arietta nodded. “She’s certainly getting on a bit, but she’s got at least a few more years left though. Don’t you, girl?”

Blossom smiled up at her, with her tongue hanging out the side of her mouth.

“I wish Barkspawn was better trained. I mean he _listens_ to me, he understands what I’m saying… but he seems to enjoy ignoring me.”

Arietta let out a bark of laughter. “I’ve had Blossom since she was tiny though. Barkspawn was trained by someone else; perhaps you’re not using the right commands?”

“Who in Thedas would say something other than ‘sit’ to make him sit?” Neri said incredulity.

Alistair and Arietta both chuckled softly. “Perhaps they spoke a different language? Or maybe even made up one of their own?” Alistair suggested.

Neri glared at him.

Arietta smiled coyly. “Alistair might not be wrong, actually.”

Neri glanced at her with a confused look.

“I mean, there’s a language the Ash Warriors use… I learnt about it at Highever. Wasn’t Barkspawn one of theirs originally?”

Neri considered her words. “He may have been…”

“Okay then. To call him, repeat after me, ‘Iymah’.”

Neri frowned. “Iymah.”

“Louder, so he can hear you. ‘Stew’.”

“Stew!”

There was no sign of Barkspawn. “Louder. ‘peddle’.”

“PEDDLE

 “Fah

“FAH.”

“Now all together?”

“IYMAH STEW PEDDLE FAH!”

Arietta and Alistair burst out laughing.

Neri glared at them, and then realised what she had just said. “I’m a stupid elf!?” She burst out laughing too. “Congrats, I didn’t realise you had a funny bone in you.”

“I guess you’ve rubbed off on me.” Arietta giggled.

“Not as much as I’d have liked.” Neri winked.

“Would you actually sleep with us?” Alistair asked deadpan.

Neri was taken aback.”Uhhh.”

Arietta smirked at Alistair. “If we said yes, that we wanted to… Would you go through with it?”

Neri swallowed. “Well… I mean… you’re both very attractive…” Her cheeks turned bright red.

Arietta sauntered toward Neri and wrapped her arms around the elf’s narrow waist, pulling her close. “You’ve wanted to for a while, why the apprehension?” she said innocently.

Neri’s eyes bulged, and she licked her lips. “Well, I just assumed it would never happen…” She smiled lopsidedly.

Arietta leant into the elf’s pointy ear, brushing her lips against it. “But it is,” she whispered.

Neri shuddered against her and her breathing became ragged. “Okay,” she said breathlessly.

Arietta was momentarily stunned and then resumed her act. She smiled roguishly as she ran a hand through the elf’s hair. “We can do it back at Highever, get a room all to ourselves…”

Neri smiled. “Fuck that, we’re doing it now.” Her smile turned into a mischievous grin.

Alistair was blushing furiously as he cleared his throat. “Oh, but the ground is so hard and dusty…”

“We can set up camp early, it looks like rain anyway.” Neri smiled impishly.

Alistair was starting to cave, but Arietta continued. “Okay then.”

They found a clearing and put up a single tent in silence as Neri eyed them both with her predatory gaze.

Alistair kept stealing glances at Arietta, as if to say ‘hasn’t this gone on long enough, we’re not _actually_ going through with this, are we?’

Arietta just shrugged at him, and continued to eye-fuck Neri in return.

Once the tent was up they all stood around it awkwardly, nobody willing to take the first step inside.

Neri was looking at them both, her eyes sparkling like two twin stars.

“Shouldn’t we wait for Zevran? He’d be very upset to have missed out on this….” Arietta said, an octave higher than usual.

“He’ll enjoy me telling him about it just as much.” Neri giggled.

Rain suddenly poured down, and they all rushed into the tent.

They caught their breath, and all blushed as they realised their close proximity to one another.

Neri grinned playfully, and stalked toward Arietta on all fours, until her face was inches from Arietta’s.

Neri looked up at her through her thick lashes, and Arietta’s breath hitched.

Alistair cleared his throat; he was pink all the way to the tips of his ears.

“Oh, how rude of me,” Neri hummed. The elf moved over to Alistair’s lap and straddled him.

Arietta’s eyes bulged as Neri wrapped her arms around her soon-to-be-husband, and ran her hands through his silky hair.

Neri looked at Arietta. “Tell me what you want me to do,” she growled, her mouth inches from Alistair’s.

Arietta swallowed hard, her palms sweating profusely. “Kiss him,” she rasped.

Neri’s eyes twinkled dangerously, and she turned her head back to Alistair.

Alistair was watching on in shock, with his hands firmly planted at his sides. Neri craned her head to the side and closed her eyes, as she slowly moved to kiss him.

Alistair’s eyes were wide. “OKAY, NO!”

Neri’s eyes flew open, and she grinned. “I fucking _knew_ it!”

Arietta sighed in relief. “When did you figure it out?”

Neri hopped off of Alistair’s lap, with a smirk.

“Outside. For a rogue, you certainly have some obvious tells.” Neri shrugged.

Arietta’s heartbeat returned to normal. “Trust you to drag it out for as long as possible!”

“You deserved it.” Neri stuck her tongue out. “Tricking me once, and trying to a second time, for a moment I thought that maybe…” She shook her head. “No, never mind.”

Arietta frowned. “What?”

Neri sighed. “I thought maybe Wynne told you, and that this was my present.”

Arietta’s frown deepened. “Told us what?”

“That it’s my birthday today.”

Alistair and Arietta both stared at her with their mouths open.

Arietta found her voice. “You never said anything!”

Neri shrugged. “They don’t really celebrate birthdays in the Circle; it’s not a big deal.”

“You’re nineteen?” Arietta asked softly.

Neri nodded her head.

She was so young.

“Sometimes I forget how young you are,” Alistair said quietly, mirroring Arietta’s thoughts.

Neri inhaled deeply. “Yeah.” She chewed on her lip and frowned. “Do you think we can do it, stop the Blight I mean? How do you rate our chances?” she almost whispered.

Tears pricked Arietta’s eyes. “I wish I could tell you we will defeat it, but it won’t be easy. You’ve read about the past Blights, you know how long some of them raged on for…”

Neri took a shaky breath. “I don’t know what would hurt more: dying myself, leaving all of you behind, or watching you die and being left alone.” A tear fell down Neri’s cheek.

Arietta grabbed the elf and pulled her into a hug. “Oh Neri, we’ll get through this, together.” She reached over and pulled Alistair into their hug. Neri wrapped an arm around him and pulled him in closer as she began to sob.

They fell asleep not long after, all curled up together.

…

When they arrived back at Highever there were no more bodies or blood stains to be seen, and most of the rubble had been cleared away too. Iona was returning home to her family and loved ones, but Arietta promised she would visit her once the Blight was over. She had told Fergus to remain at the castle to continue to gather allies while she returned to Redcliffe, and then went on to deal with the Landsmeet in Denerim. He didn’t like being separated from her, but she needed him to stay at Highever to try to get things back in order. So they had said their farewells, she wasn’t sure if she’d have much time to see him after the Landsmeet, before they had to deal with the darkspawn threat.

“ _Last time it was me marching off to fight darkspawn, with you worrying over me, and now here I am, staying behind while you go to find the bleedin’ Archdemon,”_ Fergus had said.

 _“You were always tardy though. I promise to return punctually.”_ She had smirked back at him.

 _“I will hold you to that promise, Etta._ ” He had hugged her tightly as she wrapped her arms around him.

After that, they had returned to Redcliffe; Eamon was ready to leave within the week, and was glad they had returned when they did.

Arietta liked the old man; he was kind, but he knew how to play the game of thrones, just like every other noble. And, so far, Arietta was impressed; he had gathered an extensive list of allies in the past few months, not quite enough to outright defeat Loghain, but it was a start.

They had all woken bright and early to make last minute preparations for their journey to the capital, and Neri was not happy about their chosen mode of transport.

“Can’t we walk?” Neri complained.

Arietta patted the palfrey in front of her, a huge, lean sand coloured beast with a long black mane. “Riding will get us there faster, plus we will look more respectable on horse.”

“Yes but can’t we just–” Neri backed away as her cob nickered in her face “Ugh… march in with our noses in the air?”

“Is that fear lacing your words, my dear?” Zevran teased, as he slid in beside them leading his beautiful white stallion, Winterbreath, into the court yard.

Neri’s mouth opened and closed a few times. “I’m not scared of a stupid horse.” She folded her arms. “They’re just rather tall...”

Arietta hopped up onto her palfrey, Hanno. “We can get you a gelding, they’ll be less temperamental,” she suggested.

“Or you can ride with me, if you prefer.” Zevran winked, as he clambered up onto his horse. Winterbreath immediately bucked, and sent him flying into the dirt. He rolled around clutching his buttocks, moaning in pain, as they all chuckled.

“What was it you said to me that time on the battlements? Oh yes. You never forget, _like riding a horse_ ,” Neri mocked.

“Ohh, I probably deserve that. Still, you wound me fair maiden!”

“Ha! Only thing fair about me is my skin.” Neri helped Zev to his feet. 


	40. The Big City

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally arrive in Denerim for the Landsmeet and things are not what they expected. They all begin putting plans into motion to gather allies for the Landsmeet. Also, Neri is not a fan of horses.

Neri’s horse veered off of the path again, her gelding, Terrance, deciding he rather liked the look of a patch of grass on the roadside.

“Stupid, fucking, horse! Move!” Neri cursed.

Arietta laughed as she directed Hanno over to Terrance and Neri. She pulled out a carrot from her pocket and waved it at him; the gelding lifted his head and sprinted up the hill, eliciting a gargled cry from Neri, as she held on for dear life.

Terrance chomped down on the carrot happily as Neri composed herself once more.

“You okay?” Arietta said, with a chuckle.

Neri glared at her, and nodded her head stubbornly.

Arietta kicked Hanno into a trot and pulled up next to Alistair once more.

“How are you, love?” Arietta asked him.

He was riding on the largest stallion of them all, a huge black beast with white socks. His name was Bolt, and he was the sweetest horse of the lot, most of the time; unless there was a thunderstorm, and then he screamed and ran away in fear, hence the name.

He smiled. “Good. I haven’t ridden for so many years; I’ve missed it.”

“I have too,” she admitted.

She used to ride at Highever a lot, her mother had insisted she have lessons from a young age, and she had even started to teach Elissa to ride before… She sighed. That memory was still fresh in her mind, like the wound had been reopened. ‘Lissa had loved Highever, she loved everything about it, the tapestries and stained glass windows, the library full of books, the water fountain in the gardens, the tree house father had built… all of that was completely broken now, or at the very least damaged from the attacks and from the soldiers. The charming guards had set fire to the tapestries, smashed the stained glass windows, pissed on the books, poured blood and shit in the fountain and burnt down the tree house.

But they would rebuild it, just like they would rebuild Ferelden. Alistair and her…

“We’re getting married,” she said quietly.

Alistair grinned at her. “Yes, we are.”

She swallowed and looked at him. “It’s only just sinking in; we’ll have to rule all of Ferelden.”

He took a deep breath. “I was rather hoping you’d know how to do something like that, because I don’t have a clue.” He smirked.

She snorted. “I think we’ll have to make it up as we go along, love.”

“Well, that method has served us well so far…,” he said playfully.

A smile tugged at her lips. “We’ll figure it out, together. We have to; everyone will be counting on us.”

“No pressure.” He chuckled.

…

Their horses trotted under the arch of the city’s west gate; she gently patted her palfrey’s neck to slow his pace. The people in the streets parted for them, and did something quite remarkable: they cheered. The streets were filled to the brim with people; each and every one of them had a grin on their faces as they clapped and cheered at their entourage. They were cheering _for_ them, for the Grey Wardens, some even had griffon flags, and there were similar banners hanging out of windows.

“I was not expecting this,” Alistair said in disbelief.

“Me neither…” Arietta said, as she looked around wide-eyed.

“I’ve never seen Denerim like this,” Eamon remarked in awe.

The market was a similar story; there were crowds of people parting for them in the streets, as guards tried desperately to split them up. Their horses circled the square, and the cheers roared around them; people were throwing flowers and swinging flags, all while chanting ‘Warden, Warden, Warden!’

Arietta glanced at the elf behind her. “Neri… I think they mean you.”

Neri frowned. “What? Don’t be absurd why would they–” Neri’s mouth hung open.

Some soldiers were screaming now as they pushed through Loghain’s men.

“Ostagar! Ostagar!”

“The King!” another shouted.

Arietta began to grin. “Neri, they were at Ostagar; they survived the battle because of your barrier!”

Neri’s eyes were wide as she took in the cheering faces.

“Saviour!” a woman shouted, as she clutched a young soldier’s hand.

They pushed their way through the crowd, and into Eamon’s estate, the gates closed behind them and people rallied against the bars.

“Thank you!” they were yelling now. “Take him down!” The gates rattled as they shook them. “Kill the traitor!”

Arietta slid off her horse and stared at the people in stunned silence. Alistair joined her and took her hand in his, and then Neri did the same. All three of them grinned, as the people cheered and clapped.

“We will end this civil war, we will end the Blight, and we will save Ferelden!” Arietta shouted.

Their cheers roared around them.

With a nod they all turned to walk inside.

They walked down the long entrance way of the estate; it was a beautiful stone building, and the walls were decorated with colourful tapestries and paintings.

“In all my years, I have never experienced something like that before,” Eamon said, still in shock.

Arietta hummed her agreement. “Maybe winning this Landsmeet won’t be so difficult after all?”

Alistair nodded. “We certainly have the support of the common people…”

“It helps, but we need the Chantry and nobility on our side to stand a chance where it really counts, in the Landsmeet,” Eamon said as he ran a hand through his beard.  

“Do you think Loghain will make an appearance?” Arietta asked.

“Under normal circumstances, I would say yes, but he’d be mad to leave the palace with a crowd like that outside our gate.”

“So… what do we need to do then?” Neri questioned.

“Loghain has been here for months; whatever he’s been up to, whatever schemes he has hatched, they started here. Arietta, it would be worth speaking with the nobility of the City, whoever you can find; there will undoubtedly be familiar faces. Find out what they know, and figure out if they are allies. And if they’re not, make them one.”

Arietta nodded her head.

“Neri, I understand you know a Templar here? Perhaps try speaking with him, as he may prove useful; speak to the soldiers too, and see what you can learn.”

Arietta rubbed her neck. “Last time we were here the Chantry was closed for funerals, which may still be the case,” she warned.

“Then I guess I’ll need some new clothes; a black dress and veil should work well.” Neri smirked.

Arietta snorted. “You’re going to sneak in with a funeral precession, aren’t you?”

“I’ve never used a disguise before! This is so exciting.” Neri grinned.

“Okay: Neri head off with Zev, find out what you can; Alistair, Leliana and I have some things to take care of; everyone else see what you can find out from the common people, maybe buy some supplies? We can meet back here in a few hours.”

...

Neri ducked under another griffon banner, and past some children with blue and silver face paint. She kept her hood up and her head low, as she passed more cheering faces. The crowds were starting to disperse now, but the streets were still a lot busier than she ever thought possible. Zevran was leading her through most of the crowds, and they finally reached an alley and could walk side by side again.

Neri wanted to talk to some soldiers, but not out in the open, so Zev was taking her to a tavern where he said a lot of the off-duty soldiers were probably drinking. It started to spit with rain as they walked along the cobbled paths; it pattered down gently on her cloak, and when there was a gust of wind, her face got sprayed with drizzle.

“Not far now,” Zev said.

The streets here were decidedly less friendly than the market. The men and woman eyed them suspiciously as they walked briskly past them, and there were very few children visible; those that could be seen were scrawny, dirty things that glared at them as they walked by.

“Lovely neighbourhood,” she said dryly, pulling her hood closer.

Zevran smirked. “All cities are like this; the markets and main roads paint you a pretty picture, but ugliness is all around the edges.”

“That was almost profound, Zev!” she teased, grinning easily at his feigned offence.

“I can be profound when I need to be; alas I much prefer to be naughty,” he said wickedly, pulling her to him for a hungry kiss.

They came into a clearing, and Zevran stopped dead in his tracks. The hair on the back of Neri’s neck stood up, and then the Crows stepped forward.

“And here is the mighty Grey Warden at long last. The Crows send their greetings, once again,” a man said smoothly.

“One greeting was quite enough, thank you,” Neri snipped, as she pulled down her hood to get a better look at them all. They were surrounded by at least thirty men.

“So, they sent you Taliesen, or did you volunteer for it?” Zevran asked solemnly.

A half-smile played across the man’s lips. “I volunteered of course,” he said arrogantly. “When I heard that the great Zevran had gone rogue, I simply had to see it for myself.”

“Is that so? Well, here I am in the flesh,” Zev said miserably. Neri hated how depressed he suddenly sounded; she hated the Crows more for making him that way. 

“You can return with me Zevran. I know why you did this and I don’t blame you,” he said slickly. “It’s not too late; come back and we’ll make up a story.  Anyone can make a mistake,” he said sympathetically. He glanced at Neri. “And I daresay, she would make a fine Crow too.” He grinned roguishly

Neri snorted disgustedly at his obvious chicanery. “I’m flattered, really, but you can go fuck yourself, _mate_.”

Zevran chuckled. “Looks like we’re not coming with you, Taliesen.”

Neri let out the breath she didn’t realise she’d been holding.

“You’ve gone soft, traitor,” he said bitterly, with a disappointed shake of his head, and then he drew his daggers with a flourish.

The fight was over before it truly began. Neri had dragged all of the Crows across the floor into a lovely pile, and then they had picked them off one at a time; Neri had even impaled a few of them on their own weapons.

She wiped the sweat from her brow; despite not having to fight much; holding enemies in place for long periods of time was always exhausting. “You okay, Zev?” she asked softly.

He took a deep breath, and nodded his head. “He was my friend once.”

“I’m sorry.” He looked so defeated, his face set in a deep scowl, and it broke her heart to see. “I know what it’s like to be betrayed by a friend.” She rubbed his arm and kissed his cheek. “Thank you for staying with me; that can’t have been easy,” she said tenderly, trying not to show how panicked she had been at the thought of him leaving her.

“Anything for you, my dear.” He gave her a grin, but it didn’t quite touch his eyes. “Come, let us find this tavern and get you the answers you seek.”

The Pearl was the tavern in question, and it was indeed full of soldiers; most were drunk, some were fighting. She hoped she could speak to a few and rally them to her cause.

“Next round’s on me!” she shouted, as she walked in, nimbly avoiding a falling drunk.

All of the patrons cheered.

She walked up to the bar, and ordered Zevran and herself a couple of ales and left a purse of coin with the bartender to pay for everyone else’s drinks.

 “Well look who we have here.” A gorgeous brunette sauntered toward them; she was eyeing Zevran with a sultry smile. “Come to apologise for leaving me bereft of my lord husband, and then vanishing without a trace?”

“You know it was just business, Isabela.” Zevran smiled. “Business that turned out well for you I see. You inherited the ship, I take it?”

“Hm. I suppose I never did like the greasy bastard,” she admitted.

“I take it you know each other?” Neri ran her eyes up and down the pirate; she was a curvy woman, absolutely beautiful, with luscious hair, voluptuous breasts and sparkling brown eyes.

“Indeed. This is Isabela, Queen of the Eastern Seas and the sharpest blade in Llomeryn. And Isabela, my dear, you will no doubt be amused to discover I am travelling with a Grey Warden.”

“A Grey Warden?” Isabela smiled, her eyes dancing mischievously. “ _Charmed_ ,” she purred.

“I’ve never met a pirate before; I’d love to see what you’ve got below deck,” Neri said brazenly.  

 “Sweet thing, I’d love to show you.” She winked. “Tell me, is it true what they say about Grey Warden stamina?”

Zevran laughed. “My dear, you have no idea.”

Neri grinned. “I could show you, if you like. I’d only require a small favour in return.”

Isabela eyed her curiously. “Oh?”

“Zev and I could use some help with a certain plan of ours… Nothing too dangerous, although I imagine you’re the sort who quite enjoys that kind of thing, and I will make it worth your while,” Neri said luridly.

Isabela grinned. “I’m listening.”

…

“You know, I haven’t been with a mage for months, the last one I was with did this electricity thing…” Isabela said wistfully, sighing contentedly, her cheeks still rosy for their recent venture together.

Neri’s eyebrows leapt up her forehead. “Anders?”

“Hmmm, yes that might have been his name, I was a little distracted…” Isabela giggled.

Neri grinned. “I’m not surprised.” She missed that damn mage.

“I must say your force magic is… I’ve never experienced anything like _that_ before, are you sure you want to stay in Denerim? Can’t you come with me on my ship?” Isabela pouted, pulling Neri close for a passionate kiss.   

Neri chuckled against the pirate’s lips and then pulled back slightly. “I wish, unfortunately there are these pesky darkspawn running around, and Grey Wardens are supposed to kill them, apparently.”

Isabela sighed as she took a step back. “No fun, and I suppose I have to help you in return now?”

“Ah, it will be fun Isabela, just a different sort of fun, yes?” Zevran smiled playfully.

“We’ll need more men; give me a moment,” Neri said.

She walked over to the bar and clambered onto the counter. She stuck two fingers in her mouth and whistled, all the patrons turned to look at her. “Alright men, I hope you’ve enjoyed the drinks and the time off, there’s more where that came from if you’ll help me with a little something first.”

“What’s that then?” a bearded man shouted.

“We’re going to have a little bit of fun in the market.” She grinned. 


	41. Allies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arietta finally speaks to nobles within the city and Neri reacquaints herself with an old friend.

It took them a while to reach the tavern in the centre of the market district because Arietta wanted to stop and talk to all of the common folk. She listened to everyone’s stories. Most had sons, brothers or fathers who were at Ostagar; some were dead, but those that had survived… there was a fire in their eyes, a hatred for Loghain, and that fire had spread to their loved one’s eyes, and their neighbour’s eyes, until the entire crowd was ablaze with hate for the traitor Loghain. Arietta had never seen anything like it, but it made her glad to see it; Loghain couldn’t blame the Wardens anymore, not when so many knew the truth.

Finally, she pushed the doors to the tavern open, and she was overwhelmed by the sea of faces present inside. Immediately she noticed some of the more notable lords and ladies: Justin Elmont, Louise Stark, Jacob Cutter, Julie and Ross Hartrich, Sarah and Jack Weller, and others that she recognised the faces of, but was less certain of their names. Most were in heated conversation over a drink or two; she could hazard a guess as to the topic of conversation.

She approached Justin first; he was an old friend of her fathers. “Lord Elmont.” Arietta bobbed her head in greeting.

He gasped. “Arietta.” He pulled her into a hug. “I am so sorry about your parents, child.”

“Thank you, my lord.” He had greyish brown hair and dark brown eyes the colour of bark.

“I never liked Howe, that snivelling bastard. But now Loghain has proven himself a traitor too; what in the world is going on?” Elmont said sadly.

Arietta shook her head. “I don’t know, but I mean to put an end to it.”

Lady Stark joined their conversation. “Many nobles sit on the fence; they do not trust Loghain, but turning against him now could mean their deaths,” she said quietly.

Arietta nodded. “I’ll just have to convince them then, won’t I?”

Arietta glanced at Alistair and he gave her a reassuring smile. He gave her his hand as she climbed up onto a table. “My lords and ladies of Ferelden!” she shouted. 

Everyone turned to look at her.

“My name is Arietta Cousland; my family have been friends to many of you.” She looked at the Hartrich’s. “My father sent men to your Keep, when the Hemrick’s threatened to take it from you; because of my father you held your Keep, and your children were saved.”

She looked at Jacob Cutter. “My brother went hunting with you often as teens; he said you were the best archer he’d ever met.” Jacob flushed a little, and nodded his head firmly.

“My family have helped many of you, they were _good_ people.” She looked at the Weller’s sad faces. “Little David was at Highever, a squire my father proudly took on. Because of Howe’s treachery they were all killed: _innocents_.”

She looked around the room. “I know a lot of you fear the future; many of you have lost land, homes, and loved ones. I know your pain. And I know the future is uncertain, but if we do not unite Ferelden, one thing _is_ certain; the Blight will destroy us all.”

“So I ask you now, stand with me! Let us end Loghain’s scheming! Let us stop the Blight and save Ferelden!”

Elmont stepped forward. “You have my support, my lady.”

Louis Stark and Jacob Cutter nodded and gave their support too.

Soon the entire room was cheering, ‘Warden, Warden, Warden!’

They found a smith, not long after leaving the tavern, which would make armour from dragon and drake scales, at a very affordable price too; while the armourer seemed rather enthusiastic about working with such exotic materials, his business associate was less pleased. Arietta had told him to make it extra special, asking for rune slots and pockets galore to be added to the armour; she wanted it to be a belated birthday present for Neri.

They tracked down Marjolaine too, and it became clear how paranoid she was, so Leliana decided to kill her rather than let her stalk her for the rest of her days. Leliana had been quiet after that, but Arietta decided to let her mull everything over before trying to talk to her about it. Arietta took them all into a shop to try to lighten the bard’s mood, hoping to purchase her a new lute or something. 

…

The long trail of black snaked its way through the streets, slow and steady, as tears rolled down the cheeks of those still in mourning. Neri was dressed all in black now too; ready to sneak into the Chantry with them.

She could see Zevran making his way toward the procession; he was fumbling and swaying dramatically to help sell his drunkenness.

“You two seem close,” Isabela prompted, with a knowing look in her eyes.

“We are,” Neri said defensively.

Isabela smiled widely. “He likes you too, you know.”

Neri arched an eyebrow. “We’re good friends,” she said flatly.

“Oh kitten, keep telling yourself that if you want, but I’ve never seen him so happy.”

Zevran stumbled into one of the leading ladies, and she screamed. He flopped to the floor and tried to grab at her skirts.

“That is my cue to leave,” Neri said to the full breasted woman still smiling at her side.

“Have fun sweet thing, I know I will.”

Neri slipped into the back of the procession, keeping her head low, and Zevran stumbled away before any guards came to arrest him, then the convoy continued into the Chantry. There were women along the sides singing the most haunting rendition of the Chant she had ever heard; their soulful voices sent shivers tingling down her neck.  

She slid into a pew at the back of the Chantry, as everyone else filled in from the front.  It took her a while to spot Ser Harrison, aged as he had: the Templar that had been a father figure to her when she grew up in Lothering. His once brown hair was grey now, but he still held himself proudly, with a straight back and tense shoulders. She hadn’t considered this part very well; she couldn’t interrupt the service, so instead she would have to sit through the whole thing, and then go talk to him. She sighed and sat back in her pew, picking up a hymn book to skim through.

The funeral ended up being for a fallen soldier who had helped defend Lothering so others could escape. He sounded like a good man, and he was young too, which was sad. Ser Harrison even spoke a few words, apparently the lad had wanted to be a Chantry brother one day, but then the darkspawn had come, and he had picked up a sword so his family could get away.

Finally, the widow and the procession started to filter out of the chapel; Neri rose from her seat, and slid in behind her old Templar friend.

“You lied,” she whispered into his ear.

He jumped a little, and turned to look at her, his old, worn face contorted into a frown.

“All those years in the Tower, and not once did you visit me, _Harri,”_ she scolded with a playful grin.

He gasped, his bushy grey eyebrows shooting up his forehead in sudden realisation of who she was. “Neria!?”

She chuckled. “It’s good to see you, Ser.”

He smiled softly. “And you, child.” He sighed, the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes deepening. “I meant to visit you, but they wouldn’t allow apprentices to have visitors, and then you became a Grey Warden as soon as you were Harrowed,” he said in a rush.

“It’s fine.” She smiled brightly. “I see you finally moved to Denerim, it’s about damn time,” she said sincerely.

He smiled, nodding his head slowly. “I married; she had a business here, so I moved.”

Her face lit up. “Congratulations.”

“I had regular updates sent to me about you… I am so sorry about –“

She lifted a hand to stop him. “It is in the past. Please, don’t worry yourself.”

He was frowning but he nodded his head. “So, tell me, did you just come to say hello?”

She grinned. “Ah, you got me. I have a favour to ask actually…”

She managed to convince him to get her an audience with the Grand Cleric; she didn’t like using him just to get to her, but she had little choice. The old woman was very busy after all.

“Look, I know you’re busy,” Neri said as sympathetically as she could. “But they’re practically in open rebellion out there! You need to send some sisters and Templars out to calm them, with the Blight and civil war threatening to tear Ferelden a part, we cannot have the common folk rebelling in the streets; there would be chaos!” she said dramatically.

The Grad Cleric’s lips pressed into a thin line. “It is the job of the city guard to keep the peace, not the Chantry.”

“They will not listen to men in armour, not when they have so much hatred for Loghain, but they will listen to _you_ ; the Chantry is still respected by the people. Try to reason with them or at the very least encourage them to disperse,” Neri begged.

The old woman sighed. “Very well; I can make no promises though; things have been bad here for many months. With your Order now in the city, I fear things will only get worse.”

“And that’s exactly why I am here, trying to make it better,” Neri said agreeably.

Neri said her goodbyes to Ser Harrison, promising to catch up properly after the Blight, should they both survive it, and found Zevran in a side alley with the pirate queen.

“Are you sure about this?” he asked, concern lacing his words.

“Don’t get cold feet now, Zev.” Isabela smirked.

Neri nodded her head. “Eamon asked me to get answers; where better than from the source?”

“Very well,” he said reluctantly. “We’ll gather the men, and make sure there is enough of a distraction for you. We found a woman of similar build to you; the helm may be a bit loose though.” Zev handed her the guard uniform.

“Thank you; both of you.” Neri looked at the assassin and the pirate and smiled.

With that they dispersed into the crowds.

She put the armour on, and waited.

The Grand Cleric herself led the speech, as the sisters hummed the Chant of Light to soothe the crowds, while the Templars stood on guard. Sure enough a crowd started to gather; she recognised a few soldiers from the Pearl and with them came more soldiers and more common folk, until a massive crowd stood around the Chantry. The men started yelling at the Grand Cleric, hurling insults at her.

“Please! You must return to your homes,” the Grand Cleric begged. “No good will come of open rebellion! You must find it in your hearts to forgive!”

 “Loghain needs to die!” a man roared.

“He killed the King; will the Maker simply forgive that!?” another shouted.

Soon the entire crowd was screaming at the Grand Cleric as she tried to calm them.

The Templars moved forward to push back the crowds, but they were met with heavy resistance; a tomato splattered across a Templar’s face and he growled in disgust.

Then all hell broke loose; the Templars pushed the front lines to the ground but more people surged forward. The market stalls were being trashed, as people charged around the square screaming bloody murder.

And right on cue, Loghain’s men marched into the square to take care of the situation. Neri grinned as she watched them try to calm the protesting crowd. She gave Zevran the signal and he whistled, the crowd instantly dispersed, and the guards were left utterly dumbfounded. With nobody left to arrest, they all marched off to the palace; this time though there was an extra guard with them. 


	42. Foes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The big one - Arietta confronts Howe and Neri confronts Loghain.

Arietta and her companions had exited the shop to, what could only be described as, a riot in the square; soldiers, common folk; Templars and guards were all screaming and fighting one another. They had hastily made their way back to the estate, where one of Anora’s handmaidens had informed them of the queen’s predicament.

And so, it looked like Neri wasn’t going to be the only one playing dress-up today. Alistair and Arietta were in guard uniforms, doing their best to blend in with the real guards wandering the halls of the Arl of Denerim’s estate.

“We just need to find Anora, and get out of here,” Arietta said, though her voice was muffled by her uncomfortable helm.

“Things are never that simple, love,” Alistair muttered from her side.

Of course her darling fiancé was correct. Anora was locked behind a magically-sealed door. Regretfully, they had no choice but to promise to get her out of there, and they wandered off in search of the mage, and most likely the Arl himself.

Arietta had never liked Anora; she had met the tight lipped queen at the royal wedding five years ago. Anora was ruthless; if she saw something she wanted she got it, often pitting nobles against each other in order to sway the outcome her way. She was dangerous, and no ally of Arietta’s, especially as Arietta was about to take the crown from her. But they couldn’t very well leave her locked away to be killed.

They managed to sneak through the rest of the estate without alerting any guards; they found Howe’s bed chamber, next to the dungeon. _That_ had sent a shiver running down her spine. Remarkably in the dungeon they found an Orlesian Grey Warden, a man named Riordan. They had patched him up as best they could, and he had wandered off wearing a guard’s armour, hopeful of a safe escape. As much as she wanted to accompany him, they had a mission that needed to be finished; something she had wanted for months now.

_Or is it vengeance I seek?_

In the beginning she had wanted nothing more than to cut him open, and feed him his own innards. Those thoughts had shifted after the Urn though; she had wanted justice then, she wanted to see his shrewd little face on trial, and to watch him hang. That had seemed like a real possibility with Eamon backing them, and talks of a Landsmeet. However, seeing what Thomas had done, in his father’s name, had sent her blood boiling again. She didn’t think it was possible for her rage to be more absolute, but Howe had really outdone himself.

The prisoners he was keeping in his dungeon, a dungeon he seemed to visit regularly, if the entrance being in his bedroom was any indication, only confirmed her resolve. Some had clearly been tortured, like the son of Dragon’s Peak Bann, but others had been neglected or worse, left to suffer from lyrium withdrawal like the Templar they found. Some had been raped and beaten over and over until they were nothing but cowering, blubbering shells of their former selves.

She opened another door to yet another torture room. A cry escaped her lips, and her hand rose, shakily, to press against her lips as she stepped forward tentatively. She leant over the lifeless corpse lying on the rack, and suddenly she couldn’t breathe.

Alistair rushed to her side catching her before she fell to her knees.

“You knew him?” he asked quietly.

She clenched her fists, her eyes welling with tears as she nodded her head. “Ser Gilmore, _Rory,”_ she rasped.

He had been one of her closest friends growing up; she had fond memories of Fergus, Rory, and herself sparring and playing in the castle together.

“I’m sorry, love,” Alistair whispered, hugging her close as he pressed a kiss to her head.

She took a deep breath and rose to her feet again. She brushed her hand across Rory’s cheek, and then she marched out of the room.

It wasn’t about justice or vengeance for herself anymore; it was for everyone Howe had hurt, killed or fucked with in the past or present, and anyone he would hurt in the future.

“This is the last room,” Alistair said quietly from her side.

She took a deep breath. Howe was behind these doors. She nodded at Alistair, and then they opened the door.

Howe was talking to his mage; he turned to face her with a sneer. “You,” he spat.

She drew her daggers and spun them deftly in her hands. “I guess you weren’t expecting me to survive?” she snarled.

“No, I wasn’t,” he growled. “And you survived Ostagar too, how disappointing.” His lip quivered in disgust.

“Tell me one thing before I kill you. Why!? Why did you betray my father?”

He smiled sardonically. “Because I could.”

She charged.

Her blades clashed with his in a frenzy of steel and ringing. He swept his blades over her head, as she ducked and sliced into his thigh. He growled in pain and swung at her again, but she rolled away.

Alistair had locked down the mage, smiting him, before plunging his sword through his heart.

Arietta kicked Howe into the wall; she slammed her blades down, but he dived to the side, her daggers slicing at the stone instead.

Alistair had his shield up as the guards swarmed him, his blade swinging in wide arcs defensively.

She threw down a smoke bomb, and vanished. She reappeared on the other side of the room and slit the throat of a guard, buried her dagger in the kidney of another, and whirled to face Howe once again. Her blades clashed against his; he was stronger than she, but she was so much faster. She danced away again.

Howe stalked toward her slowly, snarling and growling at her. “I stabbed your father myself,” he taunted. “Right through the belly.”

She bared her teeth at him, and ran back in. Her blades were a whirlwind as they sliced and jabbed. He kicked her leg out from beneath her, and she hit the floor with a thud. His blades came crashing to the floor, but she rolled to the side, slicing his hip as she did so.

“We burned them all on one pyre, you know. I fed the children to the dogs though,” he smiled sadistically.

She screamed, her blades cutting through the air, hitting his in blind fury.

Her heart was pounding in her chest, her blood hot with rage. He backed up slowly as she continued to press him hard.

She knew what he was doing, he was trying to tire her out, make her angry, so she would make a mistake.

He got in a lucky slice on her arm, making her cry out.

Another soldier crashed into her with his shield, and she flew into the floor. Alistair let out a terrifying cry, and tackled the offending soldier. Arietta picked up her blades again and leapt to her feet.

She threw down some tar bombs at a group of guards that were racing in through the doors. Their feet got stuck in the thick, sticky substance, and two of them even fell over. Howe swiped his axe at her face and she leant back enough to avoid a fatal wound, but he nicked her cheek, and she growled.

“I found your mother, out of arrows, using her bow to hit my men over the head with. They had already beaten her bloody as your father bled out on the floor.” He grinned. “I slit her throat; her blood made such a pretty pattern on the wall.” His eyes twinkled darkly.

He slammed the butt of his blade into her temple, and she reeled back in pain.

She was gasping for breath, as he prowled toward her.

“I plunged my knife into your father’s chest, and watched him die,” Howe spat. “And then I took some of your friends hostage and –“

“Are you done?” she asked coolly, still catching her breath.

He glared at her, and she ran to face him again.

“I went back to Highever,” she said with a sweet smile.

He gasped, and her blade licked his neck, drawing blood.

“I killed your men, all thirty-nine of them,” she gloated.

He staggered back as her blades tore into him, stabbing his arm.

“I found Thomas too,” she said menacingly.

She could smell the sweat on him, the fear creeping up to his face, turning his eyes white and his face pale.

Her daggers connected with his, and she kicked his knee, making him grunt. 

“He was torturing people, raping them, beating them.” She disarmed him of one of his axes.

Howe backed away from her, panting and shaking.

“He did it to impress you; he resented the love you showed Delilah and Nathaniel, and not him.” She stalked toward him.

The fighting Alistair was engaged in was lost to her as she focused everything on the monster in front of her.

He swallowed hard, his back pressed against the wall. “I always loved him…” Howe rasped.

She craned her head to the side. “He died thinking you didn’t.”

His face contorted in a mix of anger and sadness.

“My brother, Fergus, plunged his sword through his black heart.” She smiled cruelly. “Like this.” Her blade moved lightning fast, straight through his wrinkled flesh to the beating heart beneath. He let out a frail gasp, his eyes wide. She pulled her blade out, and he fell to the floor, dead.

She stumbled back away from him, her blades dropping to the floor. She fell to her knees but Alistair caught her, holding her close, his own battle over too.

“He’s dead, he’s finally dead,” she croaked. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and sobs wracked through her.

…

It didn’t take much to sneak her way through the palace. Looking confident was everything; she had learnt that in the Circle when going places she wasn’t _technically_ allowed. She found Loghain’s office, and slipped in. He wasn’t inside, so she waited in the shadows for his return.

The black haired man walked in alone a few minutes later. He huffed as he dropped down into his chair, and rubbed his face. He had a few extra wrinkles on his milky skin, and his hair looked a little greyer than when last they had met.

“Hello, Loghain.” She walked out of the darkness.

To his credit he didn’t jump; he just sat up and eyed her coolly with those piercing blue eyes of his. “Warden.”

She smiled sweetly. “I’m surprised you remember me.”

“Hard not to, half the city is talking about you,” he muttered.

“Ah, they do like to tell tales don’t they? I wonder what tales they will tell of you when you are dead and gone?” she mused.

He clenched his jaw. “Are you here to kill me then? I hadn’t pegged you as the silent assassin type.” His eyes flicked up her body as if assessing her ability.

“I’m not, although I am sleeping with one,” she said with a smirk. “I’d much rather decorate these walls with your blood, but I’m not a murderer, unlike you,” she tersely said.

He craned his head to the side. “So, why are you here then? You want to hear what I have to say, I suppose?”

She took a seat in front of his desk. “I know Cailan was a fool, I know that battle was a lost cause - one we were never going to win. My question is why? Why didn’t you stop it? Why didn’t you save him? Why didn’t you _do_ something?” Her gaze hardened on him accusingly.

He folded his arms. “I _did_ do something, I saved what I could, and I left,” he said unflinchingly.

She leant forward. “You left him to die,” she spat.

 “As I recall, it was you tasked to protect him. And yet here you are; if it weren’t for the stories of your _great_ barrier, I’d have accused you of desertion.”

“It would be irrelevant against your own cowardly retreat,” she growled. “I did what I could for Cailan, but I was one mage against a sea of darkspawn. _You_ were supposed to step in and help; _you_ let him die.”

He slammed his fist onto the desk. “I loved him, just as I loved his father; he was Maric’s son!” He shook his head, anguish etched into his usually calm demeanour “But Ferelden had to come first; it was always for Ferelden, everything we did. I did not spend all those years winning her back to lose her to Orlais or the darkspawn!” he heatedly argued. “I salvaged what I could from that battle; because of me we still have an army to fight with,” he said, trying to persuade himself more than her.

She sat back in her chair and smiled smugly. “No, because of _Arietta_ we have an army; you will have nothing very soon.”

He sighed. “I did what I had to do to save my home, Warden.”

Neri rolled her eyes. “For someone who cares so much about Ferelden, you’ve sure done a fine job of fucking it up.”

He took a deep breath. “I did what I thought was best, what I thought was necessary.”

“I’m not a General or a politician–”

“No, you’re not,” he interrupted icily.

She glared at him. “But would letting Orlais help really have lost us Ferelden?”

He scowled. “They will always see us as theirs. We are the piece of land they lost, but to them it is only a temporary loss; they bide their time until they can snatch us back.”

“You sound paranoid.”

He rubbed at his temples. “I have heard that word a lot lately. Love drives us to paranoia; is it not normal to worry about something you love? Something you’ve fought so hard to defend?” he said gruffly.

“The Wardens wouldn’t have interfered; they would have helped us win at Ostagar.”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “Perhaps, but your Order is not to be trusted either.”

“I saw Soldier’s Peak, I know what went on there… but we’re not like that, this **is** a Blight, Loghain,” she said seriously.

“So you all keep saying, and yet, I see no dragon,” he said dryly.

She chuckled. “Ah, perhaps I should make _you_ a Grey Warden, then you would believe us.” She sighed. “You have divided the country; the very thing you were trying to save could very well fall to the darkspawn. Ferelden could burn, and turn black with the taint, because of _you._ ”

He leant forward. “I will fight tooth and nail to prevent that from happening,” he said sternly, his stare fixed on her.

She believed he would, as misguided as his actions had been thus far. “Perhaps you will, but we will win the Landsmeet even so, and then they will kill you.”

He quirked a dark eyebrow. “But not you?”

She looked down at her lap and chewed on her lip; she believed Loghain deserved to die, but unlike her fellow Wardens, she was not clouded by hatred for the man. She realised he might be useful.

“I’m still deciding,” she admitted.

There was a knock at the door and a soldier rushed in. “Ser, Rendon Howe is– “ He saw Neri and stopped mid-sentence, his eyes growing as wide as dinner plates.

She smiled sweetly. “Oh, don’t mind me, dear. Please, carry on.”

He gulped. “Howe is dead, and the Grey Wardens have been captured.”

Neri frowned, and Loghain rose from his seat. “Thank you. That will be all,” he said curtly, a smug smile starting to curl at his lips. “What were you saying Warden, about the Landsmeet?” he gloated down to her.  

She chuckled softly. “I believe I was telling you we will win it.”

He put a hand on his hip. “It appears that won’t be so.”

She leant her head back against the chair and sighed. “Yes, I suppose he’s going to alert your guards to my presence, how boring.”

He frowned down at her. “You are very calm for someone who has just lost entirely.”

“And you are adorable for thinking we have lost at all.” She grinned at him.

The door opened and guards poured in with their swords drawn.

“Take me away then.” She giggled. “See you later, Lo’.” She winked at the general.

Loghain glared at her as a guard slammed her head into the desk, and clapped her in irons.

 


	43. Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Wardens free themselves from Fort Drakon and Neri visits the Alienage.

“Neri!” Arietta cried.

The guard threw Neri to the ground; she groaned in pain as the cold stone slammed into her jaw.

“What are you doing here?” Alistair asked as he helped her to her feet.

She rubbed her jaw. “I heard you were having a party without me, so I decided to gate crash,” she gaily said.

Arietta’s chestnut brows furrowed together. “How did you get captured?”

Neri took a big breath. “Started a riot in the square, snuck into the royal palace, spoke with Loghain, and then this guard rushed in to tell him Howe was dead - nice job by the way - and that you guys had been captured; I figured being caught myself would be the easiest way to break you both out.”

“Wait, you were talking to Loghain alone!? And you _didn’t_ kill him?” Alistair exclaimed, shock and anger tinging his voice.

Neri narrowed her eyes at him. “What does murder accomplish? The Landsmeet is supposed to expose him, and to unite the lands; we can’t do that if we kill the competition.”

“Did he have much to say for himself?” Arietta asked, her blue eyes darker than usual.

“Not particularly; says he did it all for Ferelden. Blah, blah. So tell me, what happened with Howe? How did you end up meeting him?”

“He kidnapped Anora, and held her hostage, we rescued her. Howe had the key though… so we had to relieve him of it,” Arietta said nonchalantly.

“Ah.”

“He may have accidentally fallen on my dagger.” She smiled slightly.

“We found a lot of prisoners too; even found an Orlesian Warden, Riordan,” Alistair said with a sad smile.

Neri cocked an eyebrow. “Really?”

“He’s safe now,” Alistair added.

“Howe had been torturing them all; he needed to be stopped,” Arietta affirmed.   

Neri smirked. “But I imagine the revenge was a nice bonus?”

Arietta gave a slight nod. “I won’t lie, it did feel good.”

“He deserved it.” Alistair squeezed her shoulder reassuringly.

Arietta smiled weakly, and looked around the cell. “So, are we busting out of here or waiting for a rescue?”

“I helped Anders plan some of his escapes from the Circle; this prison should be a good challenge!” Neri grinned broadly, her almond-shaped eyes wide with amusement.

…

“Agh! Please, sir, it hurts so much, you must help me,” Arietta cried, as her hand clutched her breast dramatically.

The guard groaned, and walked over. “What is it?”

“It’s my nipple! Look at it! It’s turning purple, is it supposed to do that!?”

The guard blushed. “I don’t know.”

“Please, will you take a closer look?” Arietta said frantically.

The guard rested his head against the bars and looked at her breast.

Alistair was clenching his fists at Neri’s side, and he nodded at her. One blast of magic later and the keys were flying off the guard’s belt and into Arietta’s hands. Neri then slammed the man’s head against the bars, rendering him unconscious. Arietta slipped the keys into the lock and deftly opened the cell door.

“Why couldn’t it have been you instead of Arietta?” Alistair whined.

Neri giggled. “Because she has nicer tits.”

“Hmmm, true. Very well.” Alistair sighed.

“Come on you two, our stuff’s over here,” Arietta said from across the hall.

Neri shook her head in disbelief. “What an idiotic system; why would they leave all of our stuff next to our cells?”

“They’re hired muscle; they don’t pay them to be smart,” Alistair explained with a chuckle.

…

Barkspawn leapt up at her and licked her face. “Hello boy,” she said as she rubbed him enthusiastically.

“Why are you dressed as Chantry sisters?” Arietta whispered to Morrigan and Leliana, as she stroked Blossom under her chin fondly.

“We decided to sneak in; ‘twas not my idea,” Morrigan replied, clearly unamused by the entire ordeal.

“We pretended to be here to give final prayers to those on death row,” Leliana explained with a shrug.

“And I was a kennel master bringing in new mabari warhounds.” Zevran smirked. “I am glad you are okay,” he said more seriously to Neri, his hand brushing her cheek gently.

Her breath hitched and her stomach fluttered, and she smiled warmly at him.

“And they believed all of that?” Arietta asked incredulity.

“Well, for the most part, yes.” Leliana chuckled.

“I put any who were giving us trouble to sleep.” Morrigan smiled darkly.

“As lovely as it is to see you all, we probably shouldn’t linger,” Alistair reminded them.

…

Escaping Fort Drakon had been easy, and they soon returned to the Arl’s estate. Anora and her maid had been waiting for them, and helpfully informed them that there was unrest in the Alienage; the elves were sick, an outbreak of some sort of plague was spreading among them. Neri offered to head over there with Zevran, and Wynne insisted on joining them. Arietta said that she and Alistair were going to check out the Warden cache in a nearby warehouse, and pick up some armour.

Neri had never been to an Alienage before, and as she walked through it, she was very, very glad. The streets were covered in fifth, flavouring the air with a putrid stench that made her eyes water slightly. And there were elves lying in the dirt coughing their guts up, crying out for help feebly; Wynne tried to heal them as best she could, relieving them temporarily of their symptoms, but most looked too far gone to be saved.

Neri and Zevran were both brooding as they continued to walk through the horrid streets of the Alienage. Neri was utterly disgusted that her fellows were living in such conditions; suddenly the Circle didn’t seem so bad.

There was a feisty red-headed elf shouting at some mages in the centre of the Alienage. Neri was immediately on edge when she saw the robes they were wearing – they were Tevinter Magisters.

“I don’t like this; why would Tevinter Magisters come here?” Neri asked through gritted teeth.

“Surely they are slavers, no?” Zevran asked, his eyes narrowing on the arrogant looking men yelling at the crowd to calm down, claiming that all the sick would be seen to.

Neri shrugged a shoulder. “Subjugating elves does seem to be a favourite past-time of many people in Thedas.”

Neri told Wynne to wait outside, while Zev and Neri checked it out. They faked plague symptoms, and then killed all of the men inside, before killing the ones outside too. She had to admit she was tempted to kill them with her new found blood magic, just to give them a taste of their own medicine; Avernus had taught her some interesting techniques that harnessed the taint in her blood. She hadn’t practiced any of it yet; she didn’t really want to, it was a last resort kind of thing. She was going to survive this Blight; she didn’t get free of the Circle only to die at the hands of the bloody darkspawn, and she would make sure her friends all survived it too.

It didn’t take them long to clear out the Magisters, especially after encountering an elven slaver; Neri had been fuming and her anger had fuelled most of her spells. The slaver in charge had begged for his life, offering to prolong Neri’s life by killing the remaining elves trapped in the cells. “ _I’ve seen the results of such magic, and I never want my wrinkles to have wrinkles,”_ she had snarled at him, before burying her staff in his face.

Neri stormed out of the warehouse, with the proof they needed to incriminate Loghain.

“You okay?” Zevran asked quietly.

“That sick fuck. All of them; how can they live with themselves? That elf bitch especially!?”

“Some people will do anything for power, others anything for money. And those two things corrupt unlike anything else,” Zevran said with a shrug.

“You forgot love,” Wynne mused, her eyes twinkling brightly as she looked at Zevran with a smile.

Zevran narrowed his eyes at Wynne, and then looked at Neri strangely; something flashed across his eyes… and he turned away quickly.

Neri shook her head. “Let’s just… check on the elves before heading back to the estate.” She sighed, running a hand through her short curls.

…

Incredibly, the Alienage’s orphanage was even worse off than the outside streets; there was blood smeared on the floor, rabid dogs running around attacking anything that moved, and apparitions crying and running through the walls, and, oh yeah, demons. Wynne had convinced Neri to help a blind Templar out, but once inside she had realised how necessary it was to do this, _children_ were supposed to live in this possessed cesspit.

“I am so glad I never grew up in an Alienage.” Neri chuckled, trying to lighten the mood a little.

“Hmm, and why didn’t you?” Zevran asked curiously.

Neri opened her mouth to reply, and realised she didn’t actually know. She frowned. She was an elf, so she should have been sent to the Alienage when her parents abandoned her - probably to this very orphanage. Instead, she had grown up in Lothering, in the Chantry there.

“I’m not sure,” she admitted.

“In all likelihood your parents were both mages, Neri,” Wynne explained.

That made Neri frown more. “I just assumed my parents never wanted me for some reason… you’re saying I was _taken_ from two mage parents?”

“My son was taken from me, barely an hour old, and they ripped him out of my arms,” Wynne said sadly. “He grew up in a Chantry until he showed signs of magic.”

“I didn’t know, I’m sorry, Wynne.” She glared down at the ground, her mood darkening once more. “So, who are my parents then?” Neri almost whispered.

Wynne gave her a sad smile. “You might never know; they would be from other Circles, not Ferelden.”

Neri nodded numbly. To think she could have parents out there, parents who were perhaps as curious about her as she was about them… it was better than being unwanted, unloved, and abandoned. She would certainly have a lot to talk to Ser Harrison about, once everything else had been dealt with.

“We are getting close to the demon,” the blind Templar, Ser Otto said. 


	44. In death; sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neri has a little chat with Riordan followed by another with Anora before going for a pleasant morning stroll.

The Templar had died, quite tragically, from a stealthy rage demon in the orphanage. Neri and the others had killed it, leaving the orphanage demon-free. She had returned the slavery documents to Eamon, and Arietta had been furious that Loghain would allow such a thing to occur.

“Tomorrow morning we will have the Landsmeet,” Eamon said, as he eyed them all proudly. “Pray we have done enough.”

“We have the common folk, most of the nobles and the Chantry, based on all the evidence we gathered,” Arietta reassured him.

“But we do not have Anora?” Eamon questioned.

“She wants the throne.” Arietta shrugged. “Alistair and I are going to marry and rule, so I can’t make a deal with her; I don’t entirely trust her anyway.”

“Honestly, planning a wedding in the middle of the Blight, what are you two thinking?” Neri teased.

Arietta stuck her tongue out at Neri.

Everyone headed off to bed, but Neri wanted to speak to their guest, this Orlesian Warden, Riordan. The others had rescued him from Howe’s dungeon, and he was now staying in the Arl’s estate.

She knocked on his door lightly.

“Enter,” he called out.

She opened the door and walked in. “Sorry to bother you…”

“Ah, you must be the other Warden, Neri, was it?” He smiled and shook her hand.

She grinned back. “That’s correct. It is a pleasure to meet you, Riordan.”

“Likewise. They said you were dealing with business in the Alienage, I trust everything is okay there?”

“Bunch of Tevinter slavers had set up shop, nasty business.”

His eyebrows jumped up his head. “Not anybody you know, I trust?”

Neri giggled. “I’m a mage, never grew up in the Alienage.”

His cheeks flushed. “I apologise, I should not have assumed…”

“It’s a perfectly safe assumption to make. But at any rate the slavers are all dead, and we have more evidence against Loghain for the Landsmeet, so it wasn’t totally awful, I suppose,” she said darkly.

“Hmm, perhaps not. You are quietly confident you will defeat this Loghain then?” Neri shrugged a shoulder at him, and lifted a corked bottle of dark brown liquid on his cabinet. “Antivan brandy,” he explained.

She arched an eyebrow at him and smiled. “Mind if I?”

“Not at all,” he obliged.

She uncorked the bottle and poured some into a crystal clear glass; she looked to him and he nodded, so she poured him some too. She handed him the glass, and lifted her own to her lips to take a long swig.

He took a hesitant sip of his, and his brow creased slightly. “Was there something you wanted?”

She put the glass down with a sigh and chewed on her lip, savouring the subtle smoky flavours still there. There had always been something that had irked her about the Wardens, something she never quite understood, or perhaps didn’t want to. But now was as good a time as any to ask.

"I need you to answer me one question,” she said hesitantly.

He leant against the sofa and nodded, still cupping his glass. “Only one?” he joked.

She chuckled stiffly, and then began to pace up and down. “Everyone is always saying we need the Grey Wardens to end the Blight.” She looked at him nervously; he inclined his head to the side. “I assume that's not simply because we're good at killing darkspawn?"  
  
He closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Duncan did not tell you? Bah, of course he didn't, you were new recruits.” He sighed. “But not even Alistair?” He shook his head. “He always coddled that boy,” he said, begrudgingly. He swallowed hard. “Tell me, why do you think the Grey Wardens are needed?"  
  
She looked at him pensively. "I... Garahel _died_ killing the Archdemon; at least I think he did, based off of the scriptures I've read about previous Blights; they keep details almost deliberately vague.” She paced again. ”The Grey Wardens are about sacrifice above everything else: the Joining, taking the taint into us, infertility, nightmares, our eventual Calling." She swallowed thickly. "It’s there in the damn motto, isn’t it? ‘In death, sacrifice’. The ultimate sacrifice then... Is it that the Grey Warden who makes the killing blow dies?”   
  
He nodded his head gravely. "If at all possible, I should be the one to make the killing blow. If not though..."  
  
"Oh Maker, it'll be me.” She ran a hand through her hair, as her heart picked up its pace. “I can't let our new king or queen die..." She took a shaky breath.  
  
Riordan moved forward and rubbed her arm. "It is some time away yet, do not worry yourself."  
  
She looked up at him with teary eyes. "Can we make new Wardens?"  
  
"In theory, once the Landsmeet is done, yes; Loghain stole the Joining supplies."   
  
"Loghain..." She rubbed the side of her face, her mind racing with ideas. "Oh, they are going to hate this."  
  
"You mean to make Loghain a Grey Warden, don't you?" He smiled. "The thought had crossed my mind too."  
  
"I know I should be willing to make the sacrifice...”  
  
He chuckled. "You are young; it's perfectly normal to want to live, and it makes sense to have as many Wardens on hand as possible to deal with the Archdemon."  
  
She sighed, nodding her head in agreement. "Alright, I have business to attend to.”

“I fear it is too late to tell Arietta and Alistair now, they have retired,” he offered.

“Mmm, I think you’ll have to tell them another time,” she said lightly.

His eyes twinkled. “Why me?”

“Because you’re the senior Warden.” She stuck her tongue out. “Thanks for the drink, and the bad news.”

He smiled warmly and nodded his head as she left his room.   
  
…  
  
"Warden, a bit late for a visit, don't you think?" Anora said, with a hint of annoyance.   
  
"I find it's never too late in the day to make an ally." Neri smirked.   
  
"Oh? What is it you propose? Arietta made it quite clear she and Alistair will take the throne."  
  
Neri smiled. "They will."  
  
Anora snorted and folded her arms. "Then I see no point in this discussion."  
  
Neri trailed her finger along the edge of the sofa. "Come on now Anora, the throne isn't the only thing you want."  
  
Anora folded her arms. "Is it not?"  
  
"They will lop your father’s head off without a second thought, you know."  
  
Anora frowned. "But you won't?"

"I can make him a Grey Warden,” she said, her eyes dancing wickedly in the flickering candlelight. “We need a General; he may be paranoid, and mad with power, but he is still a smart man, a strategist, and we could use him against the horde."  
  
Anora seemed to be listening quite intently, so Neri continued. "The Wardens have all but won this Landsmeet; the amount of evidence we have against Loghain; the undeniable favour we hold with the nobles and the Chantry, and of course the soldiers and common folk... There is no way Loghain wins this, even if you spill the most cleverly woven tale to the court tomorrow.”

Neri sat down on the sofa. “You’re a smart woman, Anora; become Arietta and Alistair’s enemy, and you will end up staring at four walls for the rest of your life. But if you ally with them, you could be Teyrna of Gwaren, or Arlessa of Denerim? You’d be able to help with the ruling of the country, your support and advice could help a great deal, actually; you’ve been running Ferelden for years now, and I know you enjoy it.”

Anora sat down opposite, and looked at Neri pensively.

“Maybe your father dies a hero slaying the Archdemon, maybe he lives out the rest of his days rebuilding the Order here, but it’s better than them cutting off his head in front of you and the nobles.”

Anora opened her mouth to talk, but Neri lifted her hand. "You do not need to give me your answer, just think on what I have said. Good night."

…

It was early; another nightmare had awoken her.

“Are you alright, dolcezza?” Zevran asked worriedly.

“Yeah, sorry.” She rubbed her eyes. “Did I wake you?”

He smiled softly. “Not at all.”

“I want to see the ocean,” she said suddenly.

She had seen it briefly the day before, as they had approached Isabela’s ship, but she might not get the chance to see it again before they had to fight the horde, and she wanted to watch the sun rise, one last time.

He looked surprised, and then smiled. “Well then, let’s go.”

She grinned, and hopped out of bed.

It was a peaceful morning; very few people were awake yet. The smells in the air changed from that of baking, to fish, and then to salt as they approached the harbour, her hand clasped with Zev’s. She sprinted up to the docks with him, and grinned as she took in the glistening blue waters, and the massive ships moored all around her. The sun was just a sliver, cutting up from the horizon, turning the waters a brilliant pink, and the sky a pale blue; it looked incredible.

Someone coughed behind her; she turned, and the smite hit her before she could raise her hand in defence.  

 


	45. Confronting a real demon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neri has a weird morning.

She woke with a start, in an uncomfortable chair, her chin against her chest.

Her head throbbed, and her vision was blurry as she came to her senses. She struggled against her restraints, but it was no use; her legs and hands were tied to the chair she was sitting in. Her vision began to clear; the room was too dark to see much, though there was a sliver of sunlight creeping in through a high window, which probably meant it was still early morning. And then she noticed Zevran, unconscious on his side on the stone floor, with a bloody welt on his head. She struggled against her restraints again; she needed to check on him.

Then she heard gentle footsteps as someone stepped forward into the light.

Her gasp died in her throat as fear began to strangle her.

 _Albert_.

He stood over her, like he always did, but this time it was different; _he_ was different, she realised. His once raven black hair was thin and greying, his once angular jaw was now sagging with age, and his once sharp beady eyes were sunken and sad.

 _He is just a man_ , _and I have faced many things worse than one man,_ she told herself as she gulped down a breath of air.

His face was emotionless as he spoke. “You ruined my life.”

 _Confidence is key._ She stared up at him and smiled. “I did no such thing.”

He stepped forward. “I was stripped of everything! All of my hard work, gone because of _you_ and that fucking mage,” he spat. “I was imprisoned! Do you know what lyrium withdrawal is like?” he growled.

She noticed Zevran’s eyes flutter open and turn white with fear, as he realised what was happening. He tried to free himself but couldn’t, and the gag in his mouth stopped him from making more than a muffled cry.

She glanced back at Albert. “I’m sure it is no less pleasant than all the beatings you gave me,” she drawled.

“You begged me for them,” he rasped.

She laughed bitterly. “To protect the man I loved. But you wouldn’t know a thing about love, would you?”

His face saddened for a moment, before turning back to steely. “You don’t know me,” he snarled, his teeth flashing menacingly.

“I know you deserve everything you have suffered, and I know you are a monster,” she retorted evenly.

“You mages are the monsters! I’ve seen what you can do, the horrors of demons and blood magic, my own brother was…” He clamped his mouth shut, his brows crushing together as he scowled.

She glared at him. “I am fully aware of the dangers of magic; it’s why the Circle exists in the first place,” she spat. “There are bad mages and there are good mages, just like there are bad men and good men. Morality isn’t black and white; nothing is entirely good or entirely evil. Even you are not,” she reluctantly bit out.

“Men cannot summon demons and burn an entire town, or control the minds of others!” he fumed, spouting the words drilled into him by years of devout Andrastian teachings.

“An argument I am sick of hearing! A skilled warrior can go on a rampage and wipe out an entire town if he is talented enough. The Circle teaches us to control our magic. Those who are mad or foolish turn to blood magic, just as those who are mad or foolish might try to kill everyone in a town,” she calmly stated, the words flowing freely from her lips from years of practiced debate. “Are we really going to sit here and debate magic?” she shook her head with a bitter laugh. “Surely you have kidnapped me to kill me, yes?” she said almost disinterestedly.  

He nodded. “I cut a deal with Arl Howe. He freed me, told me to take care of you, and I would be reinstated.”

She burst out laughing.

Albert scowled. “What?”

She doubled over, tears falling from her eyes as she laughed at his puzzled expression. She could practically hear the grinding of his teeth as he stepped forward, putting his hands over hers and gripping them tightly.

“What?” he repeated through clenched teeth.

Her laughter trailed off. “You didn’t hear?” She smiled smugly. “Howe is dead.”

Albert stood upright as he scowled at her, his grey eyes darkening. “But… he can’t be.” Albert’s hands clenched into fists at his side and he started to pace.

“You poor thing,” she taunted cruelly.

He leapt toward her, his wrinkles deepening with his anger. “Do not mock me, _mage_!”

“I am a Grey Warden!” she snarled. Albert’s eyebrows arched at her sudden outburst. “Not some _pathetic_ little mage, not some scrawny _useless_ elf, but a Grey _fucking_ Warden, one of four in all of Ferelden. Come the morning, I was the only person left alive on the battlefield at Ostagar; the rest were dead or fled. I am a _survivor._ ”

Albert swallowed hard.

“ _You_ are pathetic,” she continued, leaning toward him as far as she could. “Your ego couldn’t handle anymore of Anders’ escapes. You preyed on the weak, picking on whomever you wanted to because it made you feel powerful, _important_. You sought me out, and used the love I had for him against me. You blamed us for _your_ failures. _You_ were supposed to protect the mages from themselves and from others, but you abused that power, and disregarded your responsibility. And you call mages the monsters?” She laughed bitterly. “The only monster in this room is **you** ,” she said venomously, barely keeping her voice level as her ochre eyes spat acid at him.

She sat back in her chair and smiled smugly at his blank expression. “But I’ve faced far worse than you now.” She ran her eyes up him, her lip quivering in disgust, like he was nothing more than a vile cockroach. “I’ve killed undead, demons, abominations, assassins.” She glanced at Zevran and smiled reassuringly. “Blood mages, werewolves, _walking_ trees, giant spiders, Brood-fucking-mothers!”

She took a deep breath, her stare hard as stone. “I killed a high dragon, and I am going to end the Blight. You are just a man; a man I no longer fear, a man now standing between me and my goal. So, I suggest you get the fuck out of my way, _Ser,”_ she sneered.

He stared at her for a moment, and then his lip trembled. Suddenly he dropped to his knees and buried his face in his hands. “I became like _him_ , I became the monster I always feared,” he sobbed.

She stared at him blankly, her mouth slightly open. _What the fuck._

Of all the reactions she expected, of all the ways she had played out this _reunion_ in her head, him breaking down and crying was not one of them.

She looked at Zevran, and he shrugged a shoulder; he was just as confused as she was.

She hung her head, staring at her lap for a moment, and sighed. Then she looked back up. “Albert?” she asked softly.

His shiny eyes looked up at her. “You’ve never called me by my name before,” he said shakily.

She frowned slightly. “Because you were never a man to me before, I guess.” She shrugged. “Look, I don’t know what happened to you, what made you so… hateful, but I don’t have time to hear it. I have a Landsmeet to get to, now will you untie me and my friend, or do I have to set my hands on fire?”

He snorted. “You were terrible with fire spells, as I recall,” he croaked as he wiped at his eyes.

“The absolute worst; we’re likely to lose all our hair if I have to resort to _that_.”

He rubbed his nose. “You’ve cut most of yours already,” he remarked evenly.

She cocked an eyebrow. “You always were observant,” she said dryly.

He stood, and untied her. “It suits you,” he said quietly, still sniffling.

She rubbed her wrists and glared at him. “Yeah, well, you look like shit.”

A very thin smile touched his lips. “I know.”

She frowned; this was too weird. She stood and untied Zevran too, he cupped her face tenderly, and she smiled at him. They both stood, and she turned to look at Albert. “We will be leaving. I’d say it’s been a pleasure, but it really hasn’t.”

Zevran clenched his jaw, but she dragged him toward the door, before he put a knife in Albert’s heart.

“You were never pathetic, Neri,” Albert said quietly before she reached the door.  

She stopped, and turned to look at him, scowling slightly; he had never called her Neri before.

“Most mages threw themselves at me, they wanted my approval or attention, others were…” He shook his head. “You weren’t weak either; you were the strongest mage in the Tower. So defiant, and I could never beat that out of you, though that wasn’t for lack of trying,” he added darkly, and Zevran stepped toward him, but Neri held him back. “Protecting Anders for as long as you did is the bravest thing I’ve ever seen.”

It wasn’t an apology, not that she’d ever truly accept one from _him_ , but it was… something. She nodded, and walked out of the door.

“Are you alright?” Zevran asked frantically as soon as they were clear of the warehouse.

“Yes.” She rubbed her neck. “That was not what I expected…”

He searched her eyes, looking for an answer, his hands on her arms, rubbing tenderly. “You didn’t kill him,” he pointed out.

She snorted. “Why bother? He’s broken.” She sighed. “I’m just glad he didn’t hurt you.” She smiled warmly at him and ran her hand down the side of his face.

“And I you.” He breathed out a sigh of relief, and leant his forehead against hers as they held each other close.

“I care about you a lot, Zev. I would have ripped him a part if he harmed you,” she admitted in a whisper.

“I would have done the same for you,” he murmured. His eyes found hers, the beautiful honey eyes that made her melt. “Il mio cuore è solo tua,” he whispered in his foreign tongue.

She cocked her head to the side, about to ask what that meant, when they were interrupted.

“Where the hell have you both been!? We’re late to the Landsmeet!” Arietta fumed.  

They both turned sharply to face their friends all marching angrily toward them.  

Leliana gasped when she saw Zevran. “What happened to your face, Zev?”

Neri noticed her finger was glowing, or more specifically the ring Morrigan had given her was. She looked up at the witch and smiled knowingly at her, but Morrigan just rolled her eyes.  

“Oh, sorry, Albert kidnapped us,” Neri said nonchalantly in way of explanation.

“What!?” They all yelled in unison.

“Where is he!? Are you both okay? What happened!?” came their chorus of questions.

“We’re fine. Albert just wanted to chat.” She smiled reassuringly at them. “Shouldn’t we get to the palace then?” she hedged, arching an eyebrow at Arietta.

“You’re sure you’re okay?” Arietta asked, her eyes darting between them both.

“Really, we’re fine. Let’s go.”

Reluctantly, Arietta turned on her heel and led everybody back up the winding cobbled street, past the fish stalls beginning to open.

Neri eyed Zevran with a playful smile. “The great Zevran Arainai knocked out by a tired ex-Templar, how did that happen exactly?”

She had expected him to smile playfully back, instead he looked morose. “He held a knife to your throat, my dear.”

“Oh.”


	46. The Landsmeet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neri has to somehow convince her fellow Wardens that Loghain is worth keeping alive.

“There is a strength in you that I have not seen anywhere since Maric died. I yield.” Loghain said breathlessly from his knees.

Arietta pulled her dagger away from his throat with a smug smile.

The Landsmeet had gone smoothly; Arietta had argued her points with grace and clarity. And much to Neri’s relief, Anora had sided with them also; leaving them with an overwhelming majority. The duel between Arietta and Loghain had been quick. Arietta had disappeared in a cloud of smoke and landed a deep back stab to his shoulder. After a few parries he was too weak to continue with his shield, and so the fight had continued with sword against swirling daggers. Arietta had barely broken a sweat by the time she had him on his knees in front of her.

“You’ll die for what you’ve done,” she said sternly.

Neri rolled her eyes; she hadn’t had the chance to explain the whole ‘fatal blow’ thing to them yet. She’d have to convince them without outright saying it in front of the whole damn court.

“Wait.” Riordan said as he walked in briskly. “There is another option!”

Alistair frowned, and Neri sighed. _This is going to go over swimmingly._

“The Teyrn is a warrior and general of renown,” Riordan explained. “Let him be of use. Let him go through the Joining.” He looked between Arietta and Alistair.

Arietta scowled. “You want to make him a Warden? Why?”

“There are but four Wardens in all of Ferelden. And there are… compelling reasons to have as many Wardens on hand as possible to deal with the Archdemon.” He glanced at Neri and she nodded.

“The Joining itself is often fatal, is it not?” Anora asked. “If he survives, you gain a general, if not you have your revenge. Doesn’t that satisfy you?”

 “Absolutely not!” Alistair waved his hands around furiously. “Riordan, this man abandoned Cailan and our brothers to die and then blamed us for the deed. He hunted us down like animals; he tortured you! How can we simply forget that!?”

“I agree with Alistair, Riordan. He needs to die,” Arietta said, in a tone that brokered no argument.

Neri groaned, but stepped forward. “No, we need him.”

“What!?” Alistair glared at her, his hazel eyes alight with fury.

“Neri… he needs to be executed.” Arietta said firmly, dismissing her as she turned her attention back to the man still on his knees.

 “We **need** him; the Grey Wardens are about _sacrifice_ , remember that,” Neri urged; Arietta turned to look at her and frowned, but seemed to be contemplating Neri’s words; Alistair on the other hand…

“He cannot be made a Grey Warden, not after everything he’s done!” he yelled. “Joining the Wardens is an honour, not a punishment; name him a Warden, and you cheapen us all.”

“And when has that ever mattered?” Neri laughed. “I helped a blood mage escape from the Circle, one who ended up poising Arl Eamon, and yet the Wardens welcomed me with open arms. Daveth was a cutpurse; Duncan himself was a criminal before the Wardens conscripted him.” She stood directly in front of Alistair. “What you were before, whatever you did, it no longer matters once you’re a brother or sister in the Order.”

Alistair’s face contorted in disgust. “I will not stand next to him as a brother! I won’t,” he raged, shaking his head in repugnance.

Neri sighed. “Well tough; we need him.” She folded her arms. She wished she was more convincing, but short of telling them the truth in front of everyone, she was running out of ideas.

“Loghain is a traitor; we need him like we need to be stabbed in the back,” Alistair growled. “Or have you forgotten how his being a great general didn’t help the last time?” Alistair said bitterly.

“I haven’t forgotten a damn thing!” she yelled in his face. “I was there, on that battlefield, surrounded my darkspawn. I kept looking up at that lit beacon wondering where the _fuck_ Loghain was.” She needed a breath to calm her anger. “But what we are about to face will be hundred times worse than Ostagar!”

She turned to Arietta. “You **need** to trust me when I tell you that we need him, alive.” She gave Arietta a look, and the noble seemed to twig that there was something more to it than Loghain being a good general. “Trust me in this?” Neri begged her.

Arietta sighed. “I kept Avernus alive because of your argument, I made Bhelen king because of your input, I let Zevran join our group after you convinced me.”

“And have any of those decisions bitten you in the ass yet?” Neri challenged.

“No, not yet.” Arietta ran a hand through her hair. “But this is different, Neri. I’ve always been an idealist, and in an ideal world king Cailan and Duncan would still be alive. But they’re not, because of this man. I cannot let him live.”

 _Shit_.

“Damn it, Arietta. I am trying to save us all!” she said through gritted teeth. “More Wardens means we have a better chance of stopping the Blight.” She started to pace. “You both need to open your eyes; in your _ideal_ world, stopping the blight is probably a pretty big priority, right? I mean darkspawn running around, turning the ground black with the taint, isn’t exactly pretty,” she said blithely. “Stopping the Blight is the only thing that matters now,” she urged. “You won the Landsmeet, you gathered the armies, so focus on the bloody horde instead of faffing around with Loghain!”

Arietta was silent for a good minute or so, as the court watched on in a suspenseful silence. And then her shoulders sagged, and she nodded her head feebly. “Very well.”

 “What!? You’re agreeing with her?” Alistair lividly spat.

Arietta looked up at him miserably. “I trust her, Alistair,” she said softly. “I don’t like it, but I trust Neri and Riordan’s judgement.”

Alistair was fuming. “Fine, you all want Loghain in the Grey Wardens _so_ badly, I’ll be leaving the Wardens to become King,” he stubbornly said.

Arietta nodded her head glumly.

“You are such a fucking child!” Neri snapped at him.

“At least I’m not a traitor!”

“You’re the one abandoning your brothers and sisters over a spat!”

“Just stop it, both of you,” Arietta rasped, her eyes flooding with tears. “Neri, take Loghain away. Put him through the Joining and we’ll go from there.”

Neri folded her arms stubbornly, but nodded her head.

_Immature idiot, but at least he’ll be far from the Archdemon, and will be safe._

“Are we still getting married, Alistair?” Arietta whispered, unable to look up at him.

He sighed, some of his anger dissipating. He moved to stand in front of her and cupped her chin, lifting her head so she was looking at him. “Of course; I’m not doing this without you,” he grumbled, as his thumb wiped a fallen tear from her cheek.

“And what of our deal, Warden?” Anora asked Neri.

Arietta and Alistair looked at Neri incredulously.

Neri shrugged. “I said I would spare Loghain for her support. But you’d be idiots to discard her; she has been ruling this country for five years.”

Arietta glared at her. “I am not dealing with that now,” she growled. “She’ll be put under house arrest, until the Blight is dealt with.”

Neri nodded, and left the room with Loghain, Riordan, and Anora, just as Arietta and Alistair jumped into some big speech about unity and stopping the Blight, which Neri couldn’t help but think sounded hollow after they had just rowed like that in front of the entire Landsmeet.

It didn’t take long for Riordan to have everything in place for the Joining; Loghain told him where he had stored the stolen Archdemon blood. She said the words with Riordan as he stood in front of Loghain with the silver chalice.

“Join us brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry out the duty that cannot be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten. And that one day, we shall join you.”

Anora stood with her hands over her mouth as she waited nervously. Loghain gave his daughter one final small smile, before taking the chalice and drinking.

His eyes turned white and he groaned in pain, and fell to the floor. They all stood unmoving until his chest rose once more.

“He lives,” Riordan said, slightly relieved.

Anora removed her shaking hands from her mouth and flattened the creases in her gold and blue dress. Riordan moved to the door, and some guards entered to take Anora away.

“I’ll make sure you’re well looked after until things settle down,” Neri promised. “I mean to keep my word.”

“See that you do, Warden,” she said curtly, as they removed her from the room.

They waited a few precious minutes for Loghain to awake. He sat up groggily, rubbing his head with a groan.

Neri crouched in front of him and grinned. “Believe me about the Archdemon now?”

“Yes, Warden, I do,” he grimly said.

She helped him to his feet, and clasped his arm. “Congrats on not dying.”

 


	47. Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the Landsmeet is not a pleasant one for anyone.

“I will be leaving to check in on the horde; we need to know where it is heading,” Riordan said to them, as he finished packing his bag.

“Are you sure it is safe for you to go alone?” Arietta asked, her hands restless at her sides.

Riordan nodded. “I will move faster on my own, and we cannot afford to send more of us just to observe the darkspawn. Stay here and prepare the city as best you can in case the horde moves on Denerim. I will meet you at Redcliffe in a few days.”

With that he left, leaving Arietta, Alistair, and Eamon standing in the Arl’s study in an awkward silence.

Alistair was in a silent fury with everyone. He had rallied the nobles of court with her, and still wanted to marry her, but there was anger, not warmth in his eyes now. It was fortunate then, that he had barely looked at her at all this past hour or two, otherwise she might have burst into tears at the sight of such an emotion on his beautiful face.

“I will be heading back to Redcliffe to rally the armies,” Eamon said. “Do what you can here, and finish whatever business you may have in the city. Once Riordan returns join me at Redcliffe, and we will discuss how to handle the horde with his new information.”

Arietta nodded her agreement. “Stay safe, my lord.”

He smiled warmly at her. “And you, Warden.”

Eamon took his leave to gather his things, leaving Arietta with Alistair.

She rubbed the back of her neck nervously. “Will you be joining us at Redcliffe?”

His eyes found hers and she flinched away from the bitterness there. “No; I’m not going anywhere with that bastard.”

She nodded her head meekly. “I’ll miss you.”

He sighed, and stepped toward her, his hazel eyes suddenly less severe. “I’ll miss you too, love.” He leant down and kissed her tenderly. “Please, stay safe.”

“You too.”

He smiled slightly. “You’re the one going off to fight a dragon. I’ll be fine here; being king apparently means I have an entire garrison of guards to watch over me,” he teased.

“Well, they better be damn good at their jobs,” she said as tears wet her eyes.

“We still have a few days before you leave, how are you planning to prepare?” he asked her, in a business-like tone that she wasn’t used to hearing from his lips.

“I will speak with the nobles again; get them to rally their men at Redcliffe. I will put Loghain’s men and the Chantry’s Templars to use guarding Denerim, with patrols on the outskirts of the city, just in case.”

He nodded. “And I’ll make sure there are archers on the walls and check the heavy artillery is all in working order. And should the darkspawn come here before your army arrives, I will open up Howe’s estate for civilians to take refuge in.”

“And lock yourself in the safest room of the palace, you hear me?” He reluctantly nodded his head. “I don’t think it will come to that though; the horde was still south of Redcliffe last time we checked. Theoretically that’s where they will strike next, and my army will be ready to crush them,” Arietta said confidently.

“If anyone can do this, it is you, love,” he said with confidence, his hands wrapped around hers, holding them to his fast beating heart.

She took a shaky breath. “I’m sorry I sided with Neri over you.”

He cupped her face. “I won’t pretend I’m not angry – I’m furious. But most of my anger is directed at Neri and Riordan; whatever their reasoning, it better be worth it. And if these are the last few days we have together for a while, I won’t spend them mad at you, dear.”

She smiled tearfully at him. “I love you,” she whispered.

…

Things were a little _tense_ between all of the Wardens, so Neri decided to drag Loghain out with her – hooded of course, so as not to be recognised. There was after all a crowd of angry men and women screaming for Neri and Loghain’s heads. The common folk were none too happy that Neri had chosen to spare the old general’s life. Neri didn’t fancy being ripped a part by angry crowds so they snuck out the back door, and quietly made their way through an alley.

“You kept saying you needed me; I’m curious as to why you think that is,” Loghain said, as they walked down the dusty cobbled street.

Neri smiled slightly. “I need you to fulfil a fantasy of mine,” she purred.

Loghain frowned. “What are you talking about?”

Neri giggled girlishly. “I want to fuck you, and pull on those braids of yours while screaming ‘faster boy, faster!’”

His eyes bulged. “You _are_ joking?”

She snorted. “Of course I’m fucking joking!” She chuckled. “You’re too easy.”

He let out a huffed laugh. “You are very strange, Warden.”

“And you’re so damn serious all the time. Do you ever crack a smile?”

“If something is funny, then yes.”

“Oh, you wound me so!” Neri snickered.

They entered the armourer’s shop that Arietta had told her about; Neri needed to pick up her new armour set, and she couldn’t wait to see what the dragon scales looked like in all their glory. Arietta said it was a belated birthday present, which had made Neri feel giddy inside; she’d never received anything but birthday sex as a present before. Arietta would have picked it up herself, but she was busy organising Denerim, and trying to pull Alistair out of his mood.

“Hey, Herren, Wade, I’m here to pick up the dragon armour.” Neri beamed at them.

Wade’s face broke into a grin and he lifted a sheet off of an armour stand. Neri gasped as she took in the beautiful armour. It was a silver set, but there was a purple and red shine to it in the candle light.

“That is dragon scale?” Loghain said, slightly shocked.

“Killed her myself.” Neri smirked at him.

“That is… impressive.”

The armour fit perfectly, and she paid Wade a little extra and thanked him, before leaving.

“I suppose we should head back to the estate now…” Neri sighed. “Hoods up,” she reminded him.

They walked across the market with their heads lowered. “I imagine things are difficult between you, and the new king and queen now?” Loghain said inquisitively. “Especially with Alistair; that boy is far too much like Cailan.”

“Yeah, saving your stupid life has been a royal pain in my ass,” she mumbled.

 “You could have just killed me.”

“And miss out on all the fun we’re having now? _Never,”_ she retorted sarcastically.

“You’d be the only person to think that.” He sighed.

She laughed. “True enough.”

“You know, I had expected Arietta to be the smart one; she had led you thus far, but you secured Anora’s support in exchange for sparing my life. That was very well played.”

“I would have spared your life even if Anora sided against us.” Neri manoeuvred through a large group of people.

“And you still haven’t said why that is.”

Someone pushed Neri, and she landed in the dirt with a thud, her hood falling off her head.

A man leant to help her up, and then gasped. “You’re the Warden that spared that traitor!”

She glanced nervously up at Loghain.

The soldier gasped as he followed her eyes, and Neri cursed.

Within minutes a crowd had surrounded them. Neri was back on her feet but there was no way through.

“Murderer!”, “Traitor!!”, “You should have killed him!” they cried.

“Please clear the way,” Neri said firmly, for the third time.

“No way! He needs to die,” a blonde-haired and bearded man said; he looked like a knight. 

“Ser, please stand back,” Neri growled.

“I defended you!” the knight shouted at Loghain. “You were a hero; how could you kill the king?”

Loghain held up his hands. “What’s done is done; I am a Grey Warden now, Ser.”

The knight scoffed. “That’s not a punishment. I challenge you to a duel; I will have your head!” he said proudly, his chin high.

Neri rolled her eyes. “You will do no such thing. Back off,” she snarled.

The man turned a scathing look at her. “Are you in cahoots with him then? They say you were charged with protecting the king; did you let him die deliberately?” the knight hissed at her.

“I did everything in my power to save Cailan,” she said stubbornly.

“And yet you let his murderer live.” The knight drew his sword as did various other members of the crowd.

She grabbed Loghain, and threw him to the floor as she let out a shockwave of force magic. It knocked over all of the soldiers; she grabbed Loghain, and they sprinted through the toppled soldiers.

They were both panting heavily by the time they reached the estate’s gates.

“Thank you, Warden,” Loghain said as he wiped his brow.

She snorted. “Two days ago they were cheering my name, now I’m a traitor.” She shook her head. “Funny how quickly opinions change, eh?”

Loghain sighed and nodded his head.

They entered the Keep once more. “Avoid Alistair and Arietta; I’ll call on you when we are leaving,” she said to their newest brother. Zevran appeared in the doorway to the library and she smiled at him before approaching him.

“Mmm, and what fine armour you are wearing,” he said silkily, as his eyes roamed over her lithe frame.

She grinned, twirling for him. “You like?”

“I do, although I think it would look better on the floor, no?”

She laughed. “Not into bondage then?” she teased.

His eyes sparkled mischievously. “For you? Anything, my dear.” His eyes grew harder. “I did not think you would be interested in such things, with your past experiences…”

She craned her head to the side. “A fair point. In truth though, I quite like pain sometimes,” she admitted quietly.

He narrowed his eyes. “You don’t self-harm?”

“No. Well not really; I used to. It helped anchor me, I suppose. I felt like I deserved it.” She frowned at the floor. “I don’t feel that way anymore.”

He stepped closer to her, his hand stroking her hair gently. “If you ever feel like you need pain again, you will tell me, cara mia?” She nodded, and he smiled softly. “Whatever you need, whatever you want, Io sono tua.”

“I am yours?” He smiled and nodded. He had been teaching her a little Antivan, but she was pretty terrible most of the time. “What did you say to me after our encounter with Albert?”

His smile broadened. “Perhaps I will tell you some other time, yes?” he hedged.

“Bah, no fair!”

He kissed her suddenly, and her hands instinctively found his hair as she moaned into his mouth.

He pulled back with a playful smile. “I am curious, my dear. What would you have done if Arietta ordered Loghain to die, even after your impressive speech?”

She chuckled. “I would have knocked her and Alistair out.”

His eyebrows arched. “Loghain is that important?”

Neri’s ears drooped. “Yes.”

He scowled slightly. “Why?”

“It is another Warden secret; I will explain it to you when you give me the translation,” she teased.

He scoffed.

“Ah, there you are,” Arietta tersely said from the doorway.

“Give us a minute, Zev?” Neri said to the Crow. He nodded and slipped out of the door. “Everything okay?” Neri asked the noble.

Arietta snorted and fixed an icy blue stare on her. “Alistair refuses to go anywhere with Loghain, so he’s going to stay here.” She sighed.

Neri chewed on her lip. “I am sorry things are _difficult_ between you two now,” she said miserably.

Arietta nodded sadly. “I trust you, Neri, but you better have a damn good reason for sparing Loghain,” she said with barely contained fury.

Neri ran a hand through her short curls. “I do, but I’ll let Riordan explain once we’re at Redcliffe.”

Arietta frowned but nodded. “Then we might as well get going; staying here is clearly risky with the crowds calling for Loghain’s head.”

“And mine, they think me a traitor,” she muttered.

“Things will be better once we end this Blight,” Arietta said softly, but Neri wasn’t sure Arietta even believed that; they had to actually stop the Blight first.

Neri smiled up at her. “Alright, I’ll go pack up my things.”

“That armour looks good on you by the way,” Arietta commented with a small smile.

Neri grinned at her. “Thank you for it, truly. I love it.” She dipped her head at the noble and headed for the door.

“We never got to discuss Albert,” Arietta said as she reached the doorway.

Neri turned to face her once more. “There’s not much to discuss; he kidnapped me, blamed me for his life going to shit, I gave him a verbal beat down, and he started to cry.”

Arietta’s eyebrows hopped up her forehead. “He _cried_?”

“Yeah, it was weird.” She smiled lopsidedly.

“ _Maker_. He could have hurt you, Neri,” Arietta said uneasily.

“I know.” Neri sighed.

Arietta craned her head to the side. “I’m surprised you didn’t kill him.”

“Whenever I imagined meeting him again, I always did. Sometimes I crushed him, other times I slit his throat. But seeing him again… he lost _everything_ ; he was a mess, a broken man. If anything it would have been a mercy to kill him. And perhaps alive he may do some good.”

Arietta folded her arms. “Are you trying to convince me letting Loghain live was the right thing to do?”

Neri smiled. “You got me.”

 


	48. Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arietta and Loghain finally learn the truth, and Neri has a surprise visitor to her room.

They didn't hang around in Denerim for long; with most of the common folk now hating Neri and calling for Loghain's death it just wasn't much fun. She was pretty sure she would have preferred screaming crowds to her stupid, useless, disobedient horse though. And her mabari wasn't much better; he kept trying to play with Terrance, and Neri had to constantly remind him that Terrance wasn't a dog.

"I had a mabari once; she was the most loyal and well trained beast I ever had the pleasure of owning," Loghain said wistfully.

Barkspawn came bounding back over, barking at Terrance to play with him.

He jumped up and down in front of her big brown gelding. "Stop it!" Neri barked at him, as Terrance whinnied nervously. Barkspawn gave her his stupid puppy dog eyes, and then saw a squirrel and bounded off again.

"Did you not train your mabari?" Loghain scoffed, his blue eyes flecked with silver in the low evening sun.

Neri rolled her eyes at the know-it-all. "I only got him after Ostagar; I was passed out on a dirt road, and he woke me up. So you can blame his previous owner for his unruly behaviour."

"You must be something quite special to have a mabari bond with you like that, and to survive Ostagar as you did. I heard rumours about your survival, about the Grey Warden's barrier stretching across the entire battlefield. The magic you used in the market was powerful as well; you knocked over every man and women in sight. I've never seen anything quite like it."

A smile tugged at her lips. "That almost sounded like a compliment, Loghain."

It was his turn to roll his eyes, letting out a deep sigh. "Make of it what you will. I _am_  glad it was not you I had to duel at the Landsmeet; Arietta left me with quite enough bruises as is."

Neri laughed. "I would have been rough with you, but I would have left that pretty face of yours alone," she joked giving him a cheeky wink.

He stared at her incredulously, and she laughed again.

Zevran pulled up on Winterbreath. "So, err, is it Lord Loghain?"

Loghain shook his head. "I am no longer a Teyrn, or even a Knight. Address me without a title, as you would any other Grey Warden."

Zevran nodded his head. "So just Loghain, then?"

"Correct." Loghain glanced at Zev. "What's on your mind?"

"You know who I am, yes? I was one of the Crow's you hired to kill the Grey Wardens."

"I thought you looked familiar."

"Well, I just wanted to report that I failed my mission, Loghain."

Neri burst out laughing.

"You don't say," Loghain drawled.

Zevran smirked. "I'm terribly broken up over it."

"Hmm. Well, thank you kindly for informing me."

"I should probably be thanking you, Loghain," Neri said with a roguish smile. "Zev has had  _many_  uses." She stifled a giggle.

Loghain looked at them both and clenched his jaw. "You are sleeping with an assassin?" he asked, shocked.

Neri laughed some more. "Something like that."

"You must have a death wish, Warden."

Zevran glanced at her adoringly, and her heart fluttered in her chest. She squeezed her eyes shut and ignored the butterflies dancing in her stomach.

…

They arrived at Redcliffe to an army of darkspawn, but no dragon was present, and it certainly wasn't the horde she had seen at Ostagar.

Once they had cut their way through to the castle, Eamon informed them that the main bulk of the horde was heading to Denerim, and Riordan let them know that the dragon was indeed at the head of it.

"Alistair's in Denerim!" Arietta cried, her voice a much higher pitch than usual as panic gripped her throat.

"As are thousands of others, my daughter included; crying about it accomplishes nothing," Loghain calmly stated. "How soon can we gather the army and leave?" he asked.

"We can leave at dawn; the armies have been here for a few days now," Eamon explained in his soothing, well-mannered voice.

"We still won't get there in time though, will we?" Arietta said worriedly as her hand trembled over her pink lips.

"No. We can only hope to reach Denerim in time before it falls completely," Eamon admitted, hanging his head low.

"I need to speak with the Wardens, upstairs," Riordan said grimly.

Neri nodded her head; Arietta and Loghain needed to learn the truth.

Eamon sighed. "Get some rest, all of you. Tomorrow we head to Denerim to face the darkspawn horde. Maker guide us."

They all walked upstairs together in silence, and entered Riordan's chambers. He lit a few candles as Loghain and Arietta stood nervously, waiting.

Loghain cleared his throat impatiently.

"Sorry; as you may have guessed, Neri already knows what I am about to tell you." Riordan exhaled. "Tell me, have you ever wondered  **why**  the Grey Wardens are needed to defeat the Archdemon?"

Arietta's brow crinkled, and Loghain shook his head.

"I assume it has something to do with the taint in us?" Arietta asked quietly, her watery blue eyes flickering from Riordan to Neri, and back to Riordan.

"That is exactly what it involves. The Archdemon may be slain as any other darkspawn, but should any other than a Grey Warden do the slaying, it will not be enough." He started to pace. "The essence of the beast will pass through the taint to the nearest darkspawn and will be reborn anew in that body. The dragon is thus all but immortal." He took a deep breath. "But if the Archdemon is slain by a Grey Warden… its essence travels into the Grey Warden, instead."

"That sounds fatal," Loghain remarked.

"It is," Riordan said gravely. "A darkspawn is an empty, soulless vessel, but a Grey Warden is not. The essence of the Archdemon is destroyed… and so is the Grey Warden."

Arietta's breath hitched, and Loghain clenched his jaw.

"The Warden who takes the final blow dies," Arietta whispered, her eyes wide with dawning realisation.

"Yes. Without the Archdemon, the Blight ends. It is the only way."

Arietta turned to Neri. "That's why you needed Loghain?"

Neri sighed and nodded her head. "We needed more Wardens on hand to deal with the Archdemon. Ironically we have the same number as before, because of Alistair leaving. I wanted to keep him away from the dragon, and I succeeded, but now he is in the thick of battle. Sorry about that." She ran a hand through her hair. "I wanted Loghain in case something happened to Riordan… or me," she admitted. She looked at Loghain who was staring at the ground with a scowl on his face.

Loghain looked up at her, and nodded. "Very well, Warden."

"Like Neri said, if possible it should be my kill to make, but should I fail the responsibility falls on all of you." Riordan moved to the door. "But enough. There will be much to do tomorrow and little enough time to rest before it. I will let you return to your rooms."

They exited, all three of them sighing, with sagged shoulders, as Riordan closed his door behind them.

"How did you figure it out, Neri?" Arietta asked as they stood in the corridor.

"Books, brains, and a little curiosity," Neri said with an airy chuckle.

A small smile touched Arietta's lips. "Then, thank you," she said softly.

Neri shrugged. "I suppose we should hope Riordan can do it, but that's bullshit too," she said bitterly.

"Yeah, we should have expected there to be such a sacrifice… I just never thought…" Arietta shook her head, staring down at the ground defeated.

"Neither of you need to worry, I will take the killing blow if Riordan cannot," Loghain said sternly.

Arietta sighed. "That is very commendable," she said graciously. "I guess we should probably try to get some sleep…" She rubbed the back of her neck.

"Alistair will be okay." Neri squeezed Arietta's hand. She turned to Loghain too. "And Anora. We'll save them before it's too late."

Loghain huffed. "I pray you are right, Warden." He wandered off to find his room.

Arietta took a shaky breath and hugged Neri. "Thank you for pushing to spare him. I don't know what we'd do if anything happened to Riordan, and it was just the three of us."

"Easy, I'd die."

Arietta scowled.

"You're about to become Alistair's queen; I would never let you take the killing blow, so it would be me, and I absolutely refuse to die." She chuckled. "I hope Riordan can do it, but if not…"

Arietta nodded. "Are you scared to die?" she asked timidly.

Neri sighed. "Yes, in truth. I have been since the Deep Roads… It was so cold. Dying, I mean. Even in your arms there was just no warmth. It's a chill that I can't seem to shake; I get a shiver down my spine whenever I properly think about it." She looked into the rogue's eyes. "Are you?"

"I don't fear death; my parents, my sister; they're all at the Maker's side. But it would break my heart to leave Alistair and you behind, and if Alistair died…" Her eyes started to fill with tears, and Neri pulled her into a hug.

"Get some rest, Ari," she said as she pulled back with a small smile.

"I can never sleep without Alistair in my bed…" she admitted with a scowl.

Neri smiled. "I could join you instead; I'm not as cuddly but I don't snore," she joked.

Arietta shook her head. "Thank you, but I'll be okay; I need some time to think." She kissed Neri's cheek, and walked down the corridor.

Neri opened the door to her suite, and found Morrigan standing by the fire.

"Do not be alarmed. 'Tis only I," the witch said.

"Finally decided to join me in my bed?" Neri smirked as she closed the door.

Morrigan snorted. "No, you are in danger," she said seriously. "I have a plan, you see; a way out, the loop in your hole." She turned to face her and prowled toward her. "I know what happens when the Archdemon dies. I know a Grey Warden must be sacrificed, and that sacrifice could be you," she said sadly.

Neri arched an eyebrow; she shouldn't be surprised that the witch knew this, and yet she was.

"Wait, why the fuck did you not mention this to us sooner?"

"Would you have believed me? Was it not better for you to work it out on your own, or be told by a senior Warden?"

"And if we never found Riordan?"

Morrigan sighed. "These 'what ifs' do not matter; I have come to tell you this does not need to be." She stepped closer. "You do not need to die," she said with her bright yellow eyes locked on Neri's brown.

Neri smiled lopsidedly. "Why do you think I spared Loghain?"

Morrigan tutted and turned her head. "There is no guarantee Loghain or Riordan will be able to take the final blow. I offer a way out. A way out for all the Grey Wardens, that there need be no sacrifice."

Neri craned her head to the side and folded her arms. "I'm listening."

Morrigan smiled slightly, some of the tension easing from her shoulders. "A ritual… performed on the eve of battle, in the dark of night," she started to explain.

Neri rubbed the back of her neck. "What kind of ritual, exactly?"

"It is old magic, from a time before the Circle of Magi was created. Some might call it blood magic, but it is but a name. There is far more to fear in this world than names."

Neri arched an eyebrow. "And how did you learn of such a ritual?"

"From Flemeth, of course; I have known about it for some time." Much of her face was cast in shadow as she stood with her back to the flames, and it only made what she had to say sound more sinister.

"That's why she sent you with us?"

"Yes, she was the one who first gave me this ritual and told me of what I was meant to do. This does not surprise you, does it? Did you not wonder why Flemeth saved Arietta and Alistair's lives, and aided you?  _This_  is why."

Neri sighed. "Tell me more then."

"What I propose is this: convince Loghain to lay with me. Here, tonight. And from this ritual a child shall be conceived within me." Neri's mouth dropped open, but Morrigan simply took a seat on Neri's bed.

"The child will bear the taint, and when the Archdemon is slain, its essence will seek the child like a beacon. At this early stage, the child can absorb the essence and not perish. The Archdemon is still destroyed, with no Grey Wardens dying in the process."

She explained that the child would be born with the untainted soul of an old God, and that once it was all done Morrigan would walk away, and Neri was not to follow her, ever.

"So I have to convince Loghain…"

"Yes, it has to be him; the taint must be fresh, and not old like Riordan's."

Neri paced. This was everything she wanted; she would live, Arietta would live, Alistair would live – well assuming they didn't all get killed by darkspawn first – and even Loghain would live, instead of getting a hero's death, which he probably didn't deserve after everything he had done. She didn't want to die, and she didn't want anyone else to die either, so this should be an easy choice.

_So why isn't it?_

Blood magic, dark rituals, Morrigan raising an old god baby? Arietta would never agree to something like this, and that made Neri nervous to accept it, but Neri never seemed to do what the noble would do.

She chewed on her lip as her hand fisted her hair. "I'll agree to it," she reluctantly said.

Morrigan smiled. "A wise decision."

"One question, our friendship… was that all a ruse?" Neri asked, trying to hide the hurt in her voice. "The ring you gave me, was that only because you saw me as your best chance to get this child, knowing Arietta would never agree to such a thing?"

Morrigan's smile dropped into a scowl. "I care about you a great deal, 'twas no ruse. I am proud to call you a friend, a sister even. I do not want to see you dead, let me save you," she almost begged.

Neri took a shaky breath, and hugged the witch. Morrigan was startled at first but then hugged her back. "Thank you, Morrigan," Neri whispered.

Neri exited the room, and stalked down the hall towards Loghain's chambers.

She hesitated outside his door, and took a deep breath before knocking gently.

"Enter," he said.

She walked in; he was just in a shirt and black leather trousers now, and his hair fell loosely around his face.

"Loghain." She fiddled with her hands.

He frowned. "What is it, Warden?"

She looked up at him resolutely. "I need you to do something, for me; for all of us."

His frown deepened. "I will take the killing blow; there is no need to discuss it further."

She waved her hand, dismissing his comment. "No, this is something else. There is a way for all of us to survive, a ritual; all you have to do is sleep with Morrigan…"

"What? The witch?" He scowled and shook his head. "Warden, there is no need for such things, Riordan or myself can take the blow–"

"You could die. Riordan could die. And then it would be up to me, or Arietta or Alistair. I cannot let that happen. I won't. I am not asking you to do this, I am telling you to," she said in a voice far more demanding than she was used to hearing.

He eyed her coolly with his icy blue eyes.

"Think of Anora," she continued. "Think of all the good you could do if you stayed  _alive_."

He sighed. "Anora would find some way to benefit politically from my death. You speak of the good I could do, but what will the consequences of this ritual be, exactly?"

"A child; Morrigan will raise it. I don't know much else. But it  _will_ work and it  _will_ save our lives.  _Please_  do this."

His shoulders sagged. "Very well, Warden. I will do this thing, but I do not agree with it," he said gruffly.

She dipped her head. "Thank you, Loghain," she said sincerely.

They walked back to her room in silence, and faced Morrigan.

"He'll do it," Neri said flatly.

"Excellent," Morrigan purred.

"Don't mind me if I keep my eyes closed and imagine my dead wife instead," Loghain muttered.

"I'll leave you both to it…" Neri awkwardly said as she wandered back out of her room.

 _Did they have to do it in my bed?_  She shuddered.

She found herself at Zevran's door, and rapped on it lightly before entering. She shut the door behind her, and leant against it as she took a shaky breath.

"Everything all right, my dear?" he asked in a worried tone, looking up from a book he was reading.

She frowned; she had just secured the safety of all of the Grey Wardens, but at the same time had potentially unleashed a dangerous mage child upon the world.

"I'm not really sure," she admitted meekly with a laugh.

He slid off the bed, and approached her. "Tell me."

She sighed. "A Warden has to die to slay the Archdemon," she said nonchalantly.

His honey eyes bulged. "The ultimate sacrifice?" he asked darkly.

She nodded glumly, trailing her fingers up his torso. "It is exactly that; laying one's life down to end the Blight: a hero's death."

He craned his head to the side and his silver-blonde strands fell around his shoulders. "That is why you spared Loghain, then?" he guessed.

She nodded. "I was still worried that it wouldn't be enough; Riordan and Loghain could die, and then it would be up to me or Arietta and Alistair… and then Morrigan offered me a way out."

He arched an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Some ritual; she says it will save all of the Grey Wardens, so none of us have to die."

He stroked her cheek with his long index. "Then that is good, no?"

"I guess so," she said with a smile.

"Good, because you're not allowed to die, il mio amore." He smirked, his honey eyes light and playful.

She gave him a teary smile, and he kissed her gently.

Her heart swelled in her chest, and threatened to burst. She pulled away from him and rested her forehead against his. She squeezed her eyes shut and breathed him in.

"I think I'm falling in love with you, Zevran Arainai," she whispered.

He let out a small gasp; she opened her eyes to see a dazzling smile on his lips. "I think I feel the same about you," he cautiously said. He stroked her face and looked at her lovingly. "Il mio cuore è solo tuo; it means my heart is yours."

She let out a strangled laugh of relief, and he captured her lips with his.


	49. Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is the morning after and it is time to get to Denerim.

Arietta opened her eyes; sunlight was finally creeping in through the window, and she could get up. She hadn't slept, she couldn't; her mind was racing with a million different thoughts:  _Alistair, darkspawn, the ultimate sacrifice, Alistair, Denerim, the Archdemon, Alistair._ He was in Denerim at this very moment, possibly fighting for his life, and she was supposed to sleep?

She pushed herself out of bed, and dressed. She stared at herself in the mirror; her hair was in a messy bun atop her head, her usually flawless skin was ruddier than normal due to the warmer weather. Her eyes looked a dull blue, and the bags under them made her look older than her twenty-five years. She lifted the amulet off of her neck, the one the spectre of her father had given her. She could see them all, staring back at her. She could see herself too; a mix of her younger self merging with her own reflection in the shiny silver.

She had come so far, they all had. And now it was finally ending. One way or another, it would all be over in a few precious days. She felt like she still had so much to do, so much to say… but there was no time for it now. She gripped the other amulet, the pendant containing a drop of blood from her Joining. The Wardens demanded so many sacrifices: leaving her family, drinking darkspawn blood, becoming infertile, fighting darkspawn for the rest of their days, hearing them in their dreams; but that wasn't enough, no… they had to die to end the Blight too.

There was a bitter taste in her mouth, one she was certain no amount of brushing would rid her of. She understood why the Wardens needed secrets, but she couldn't help but resent them slightly for it. If only Cailan and Loghain had been told about the sacrifice necessary to kill the Archdemon, if only they had been told it was a true Blight; then perhaps, Ostagar would have gone differently. Perhaps they wouldn't have put all of Ferelden's Grey Wardens on one battlefield to be slaughtered. And perhaps now they wouldn't be waking up with an axe over their heads.

If Riordan and Loghain both died before reaching the Archdemon, there wouldn't be a single thing Arietta could do to stop Neri from taking that final blow. The elf would knock Arietta and Alistair unconscious to save them, she was certain. She had never been more grateful the hero of River Dane was still alive. But the cost had been great; she wasn't sure if Alistair would ever truly forgive her for siding with Neri over him. Perhaps he would once he learnt about the ultimate sacrifice; if he survived the Blight at all…

Tears fell down her cheeks, and she shuddered violently.

 _I have to be strong. I can't think like that._  She wiped at the tears furiously.

Blossom stood, and nuzzled her hand.

"Good girl." She patted her head. "What would I do without you, hey girl?" She crouched down, and Blossom licked her face. "We'll find him, won't we? And he'll be okay," she reassured herself.

…

Their love-making – it felt strange to call it that, but that is what it was - had been passionate, and had gone on long into the night, so the knock at her door at the crack of dawn had startled them both awake.

"We march in an hour," Arietta called through the door.

"We'll be ready!" Neri yelled back.

She leapt out of bed and gathered up her clothes, dressing quickly.

"Want me to strap you into your armour?" Zevran wiggled his eyebrows.

She grinned and nodded her head.

Neri stared in the mirror once it was on, with Zevran just behind her, snaking his arms around her body to squeeze her breasts through the dragon scales, with a blissful hum.

She looked different. She was still getting used to the light blonde curls, a mess on top of her head and the side fringe that swept across her face. Her big brown eyes were soft and warm today instead of dark and moody or bright and mischievous. She had more freckles dotting her cheeks and chest too, thanks to the sunny weather. Her skin was less milk-like too; it almost had a tan to it. The armour also padded her out a little, making her look less frail. But the starkest change in her appearance was her smile. She was quite a cheerful person for the most part, so a smile on her face was not unusual. But the one on her face now was the brightest, whitest grin she had ever smiled. She realised why she looked so different; she felt happy, completely and utterly happy, and all because of the Crow standing behind her.

She couldn't help but grin madly at her Antivan lover. Love was a powerful emotion, and yet it had snuck up on her somehow; Zevran had gone from someone she flirted with, to someone she slept with; to somebody she loved, in a few precious months. His presence was enough to ward off nightmares, to chase away shadows and demons, and to stop her being scared. She felt like she could do anything with him at her side, and her grin widened.

"You look beautiful," Zev breathed at her neck. "Are we sure we can't return to bed?"

She smirked, and then turned her head and took his lips in a kiss.

"There will be plenty of time for that, after the Blight," she whispered huskily.

...

Arietta forced the food down her throat; she wasn't particularly hungry, but she knew she had to eat. She would need all the strength she could muster in order to cut her way through the darkspawn to find Alistair. Neri and Zevran were giggling and stuffing their faces opposite her. Something had changed between them; Arietta could see it in their eyes and their faces. It looked like love.

Tears welled in her eyes again and she stood from her seat.

"I'm going to go over things with Eamon, Bhelen's representative, Zathrian and Irving," she said to the two elves.

She walked away from the table briskly, but she heard Neri chase after her.

"Hey," Neri said worriedly.

Arietta didn't stop, walking out into the corridor.

Neri grabbed her arm and spun her around; a gasp escaped her lips as she saw the tears in Arietta's eyes.

"Oh, Ari." She hugged her. "Alistair will be fine, love."

"It's not just that, it's everything. It's the secrets and the sacrifices, the pain and the suffering, and the endless darkness," she sobbed.

Neri pulled back and looked at her. "I know. But it's like you said, we will get through this, together," Neri said firmly. "We will save Alistair, we will push back the horde, and we will slay the Archdemon. And that darkness will recede, the secrets and the sacrifices will have been worth it, and the pain and the suffering will stop." Neri smiled reassuringly.

Arietta wiped her nose and cheeks, and nodded her head. "You love him, don't you?"

For once Neri didn't act shocked or pretend it wasn't so. She smiled warmly and nodded her head. "I do."

Arietta let out another sob, a happier one this time though. "It's about damn time," she said, repeating something Neri had said when Alistair and Arietta finally spent the night together.

Neri grinned and hugged her again.

"I have something to fight for now, someone. I know things are bleak, but Alistair is counting on you, waiting for you. So wipe those tears away and be the fearless leader we need you to be."

Arietta nodded. "I'm glad I have you, Neria Surana."

"And I you, Arietta I-still-don't-know-your-middle-name Cousland."

"I'm never telling you!" Arietta giggled.

"Gah! Patrice? Delores? It must be something embarrassing!"

Arietta gave her a slow smile and shook her head. "Thank you."

Neri craned her head to the side. "For?"

"For cheering me up, I needed it."

"I will always have your back. I may make a comment or two about your beautiful ass, but I will always be there for you." They hugged again, and Arietta left Neri to make the final preparations for their journey.

…

"Fuck you, Terrance!" Neri growled at her stupid horse. "We are in a fucking hurry here!" She spurned him on with a kick of her feet.

Terrance moved into a trot as she rode alongside the very long line, of soldiers, mages, elves, dwarves and mabari.

She could see Solona, Irving, Wynne, Petra, Titch, Finn and a few other mages in the centre, surrounded by a few Templars. Eamon was at the front, atop his big grey warhorse, with Arietta and Teagan at his side. The Redcliffe and Highever soldiers were next, then the dwarves and mages and finally the Dalish at the back. Zevran and Leliana were riding horses on the other side of the line, and Sten and Oghren had chosen to walk. Loghain was also riding; she moved up to ride beside him.

"So, how was last night?" she said lightly.

He glared at her. "It is done; need you know more?"

"Ouch! That bad, eh? Morrigan's hot; I'm surprised it wasn't more… enjoyable for you," she pestered.

She could practically hear his eyes roll. "You must trust the witch a great deal to have forced me to do that."

"I do. She's a good friend, and she saved my life once; I believe her when she says she wants to save it again."

"All while she gets what she wants: this  _child_."

"I know. Unfortunately, I can't help but live in the moment; thinking about the future isn't really my strong suit. Growing up in the Circle, you just sort of took each day at a time. We're all safe, that's the only thing that matters right now. We can deal with other consequences later."

Morrigan was flying above them in bird form, keeping an eye on the roads ahead. The witch said she would leave after the battle; Neri was hoping she wouldn't, but somehow she knew that wouldn't be the case.

"Speaking as a strategist here, that is probably not the wisest thing to have done," Loghain muttered.

Neri chuckled. "What's done is done," she said, impersonating his voice.

He looked at her disapprovingly, and she smiled.

…

Arietta's destrier, Regal, stopped on the hill. Her heart thundered in her chest as she took in the scene unfolding below her.

The west gates of Denerim were broken; the darkspawn flowed freely into the city. Much of Denerim was already on fire, turning the sky a mixture of red and black. There were soldiers battling outside the gates, but the darkspawn had them outnumbered five to one.

She whirled her horse around, and Eamon gave her a nod.

"Men, dwarves, elves!" She screamed into the sea of faces awaiting her orders. "Things may look dire; the darkspawn have overrun the city, she is on fire, and no doubt many innocents are dead."

She patrolled up the army lines with her head held high. "But we can't think about that now! We are here for  **one** thing: to kill the Archdemon! The darkspawn started the Blight here in Ferelden because they believed us to be  _weak_!" She drew her sword.

"It is time to show them we are  **not**  weak; we are strong, we are united!" She turned her horse and stood on the edge of the hill. "FOR FERELDEN!" she screamed, as her horse charged down the hillside.

Regal raced down the hill; Arietta's mouth was a grim line as she set her eyes upon her first darkspawn, her blade stretched out and sliced its head off. Neri was to her right, grinning wildly, her magic crashed into the darkspawn, and sent them flying into the sky as she laughed manically. Loghain was to her left, scowling at the carnage in front of them, as his sword slammed into another darkspawn cutting clean through it.

…

"That's twenty-two, elf!" Oghren grunted, as he pulled his axe out of a hurlock's ribcage.

"Oh yes? I have killed twenty-four!" Zevran shot back. His blade sliced across a hurlock's throat. "Make that twenty-five!"

"Is that it!?" Neri grinned. "I've killed forty-one!"

They both scoffed. "Your magic shouldn't count, my dear!" Zevran yelled.

"I could stop using it, if you prefer? But that would include _all_  uses of my magic," she teased, winking at him.

"Hahaha! Oh no you don't!" Zevran said airily, grinning broadly as he stabbed a genlock in the back.

Neri threw another group into the air; her flamboyant attacks were beginning to take their toll on her. She would need to conserve her energy for the Archdemon, but that wasn't likely to happen with an entire horde between them and it.

The last darkspawn fell, or at least the last one they could see in the immediate area.

Arietta walked solemnly up to Riordan.

"The gates are ours, for now. We're doing better than I hoped," he said to her.

"That will change quickly," Sten muttered.

"Bloody nug runners! We're outnumbered three to one!" Oghren exclaimed.

Riordan rubbed his neck. "The army will not last long, so we'll need to move quickly to reach the Archdemon."

Riordan explained about the Archdemon's generals present in the city, and said a small group would be able to move through the city more efficiently, while he tried to draw the Archdemon to the top of Fort Drakon.

With that, Arietta ordered Sten to remain at the gates with Oghren, Leliana and Morrigan while everyone else went into the city.

"We'll compare kill counts once these sodding darkspawn are dealt with," Oghren said, flashing a toothy grin to Neri and Zev.

"You might want to slow down with the killing; I wouldn't want you to hurt your head trying to count such big numbers," she taunted.

Oghren grunted. "You just watch yourself, elf; I won't be there to save you this time if you get impaled on a sword."

She put her hand on her heart. "Whatever will I do without my fearless dwarf to save me?" she sighed dramatically.

"Probably rely upon your fearless assassin, instead?" Zevran quipped.

She grinned.

Arietta was saying her goodbyes to Leliana and Sten, so Neri wandered over to Morrigan.

"I guess this is really goodbye?" she asked.

Morrigan looked pained but she nodded her head. "It is."

"And it will work, even with you at the gate?" she questioned quietly.

Morrigan nodded again. "Yes, you are safe."

She let out a breath of relief. "Then, thank you." She hugged her.

Morrigan rubbed her neck awkwardly. "You are welcome. Now go to your destiny and I shall go to mine."

Neri smirked. "You'll be a good mother Morrigan," she whispered.

Tears pricked at Morrigan's eyes, and she batted Neri away. "Go; there is much still to do," she croaked.

Neri walked back over to Arietta. She checked her weapons one last time; she had her staff on her back, Duncan's dagger and her magical sword hanging from their sheaths, as well as a few knives and of course a number of medical supplies and lots of lyrium potions in her belt pouch. She hoped it would be enough to get her through the horde and through the dragon fight. Zevran checked all of her armour strappings, and gave her an approving nod.

"Ready?" Arietta asked.

"Yeah, let's go kill them." She grinned.


	50. Battles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos and all that jazz, it means a lot to me :D Only two more to go now sadly.

Her lungs were filling with acidic smoke, her eyes stung, and her ears were ringing from the constant roars of ogres and darkspawn. But she ignored all of that, as she ducked under the ogre's swing, its hand barely missing her lithe form. She brought her daggers across the back of its knees, and the beast collapsed to the ground with a terrible thud. It rolled around in the dirt, trying to grab anything within reach. She darted around it, and buried her daggers in the back of its skull. She put her boot on the beast's head and yanked the blades back out. She stood for a moment catching her breath; she couldn't see much past all of the smoke, but she could hear fighting all around her.

"Do you need healing?" Wynne asked breathlessly, jogging to her side.

Arietta shook her head. "No, save your energy, Wynne."

Blossom growled, and another group of darkspawn appeared through the black smoke and orange embers drifting through the air. They snarled and laughed as they approached; Arietta twirled her blades in a fancy flourish, and ran at them.

She cut through them like they were butter, gliding from one kill into the next, and then they raced into the market district. It was chaos in the square; the stalls were crushed or burned, and many of the buildings had been destroyed. In the middle of it all were soldiers, mostly dwarves, attacking a group of ogres. There were a few Dalish elves, led by the elf that had 'greeted' them in the forest not long ago, and some mages too. Arietta recognised Solona Amell immediately as she hurled a lightning bolt at an ogre's head, with a light chuckle.

Arietta ran into the fray, with Blossom charging in just ahead of her; her hound's jaw clamped shut on an ogre's arm before it could crush a soldier. As the ogre roared and thrashed about, a ball of ice slammed into the ogre's chest, momentarily stunning it, and the soldier stabbed his sword up into the ogre's chin. He pulled his sword out along with a fountain of blood, and the ogre fell to the floor, vanquished.

"Where's Neri?" Solona asked, as she hit a genlock with a bolt of lightning.

Arietta slit the convulsing genlock's throat. "In the Alienage; we split up to take out the Archdemon's generals."

"Well then, what are we waiting for?" Solona smiled lopsidedly. "Sweet cheeks?"

Arietta rolled her eyes; Solona was as much of a flirt as Neri, if not worse.

"Arietta!" Teagan said, as he ran over to her breathing heavily, "The general's at the Chantry. We need you, my lady."

Arietta wiped her brow and nodded grimly.

They raced through the market, passing broken stalls, burning buildings and piles of rubble. It hurt to see the city in such a state, but it was the bodies littering the ground that nearly brought her to tears, coupled with the dying screams around her as yet more fell to the darkspawn. The longer she took to kill something, the greater the death toll was; they needed to hurry.

The general was a huge darkspawn, well armoured and armed, with a massive battle axe. It shook its axe a few times as it laughed sadistically, before it charged toward her. Wynne and Solona kept their distance, while Arietta raced in with Teagan and Blossom.

Blossom reached it first; she ducked under its axe, took a swipe at its leg and then darted back. Arietta snarled at it and then slashed with her daggers; they bounced harmlessly off of its impressive weapon.

"Over here!" Teagan cried, drawing its attention.

The general ignored him entirely, instead choosing to press Arietta heavily. She danced back, her blades connecting with the hilt of its axe as it swung aggressively toward her. More ogres rushed the clearing where some soldiers began to engage them.

"Teagan, ogres!" she ordered.

He nodded and ran to help them.

Despite the size of the general she was struggling to flank it in anyway. Blossom bit down on its ankle again and it cried out. She used the opening to deliver a deep cut to the darkspawn's belly; as it roared in pain she stabbed again, her blade slicing through its hip. A bolt of lightning sent the general into spasm, and Arietta sunk her blades into its chest. The creature dropped to its knees, and she slit its throat with one graceful sweep of her dagger.

She heard the whoosh sound and dropped to the floor just as a slab of rock flew over her head to crash into a nearby wall. She looked up to see a surviving ogre charging toward her, ignoring Teagan and the other soldiers still alive. She rolled to the side as it got close and brought her blades out behind her to cut through its calf as it past. Her attack hit home and the ogre crashed to the floor with a roar of agony. She picked up the general's axe and slammed the curved blade into the ogre's head.

A shadow passed over them; Arietta looked up to see the Archdemon flying low over the city. It roared, and purple flame erupted from its mouth.

Her breathing was heavy, her heart beat erratic.

_How are we supposed to kill that!?_

It was massive and terrifying.

…

"Have you told the Arietta about the ritual?" Loghain asked, as he sliced another darkspawn to pieces.

"Nope!" Neri called out, as she lifted five darkspawn into the air then slammed them back to the floor.

"Why not?"

"Her disappointed face is the worst!" Neri grinned as she pulled a hurlock straight onto her sword.

"Surely she has the right to know, though?"

"She'll figure it out," Neri said with a laugh, as she pulled her sword back out of the hurlock.

Loghain slammed his shield into a hurlock, and Barkspawn leapt onto it, and tore into its neck. "Won't she worry, though?"

"Yes, of course she will, but as twisted as it is not to tell her, it will keep her safer this way."

Loghain frowned at her. "How do you figure that?"

"Because she will keep Alistair as far away from the Archdemon as possible, and thus she'll be far away from it too." She stabbed a genlock in the eye. "And besides, if this doesn't work, I'd be giving her false hope, and giving her something else to worry about, which is the last thing she needs right now!"

The darkspawn general ran forward, its axe sweeping in wide arcs.

She stayed back, using her magic barriers and glyphs to keep it away from her, but it only slowed it a little, and it was soon charging at her again, with that twisted laugh all darkspawn seemed to share.

She could move around more effectively in her new armour, but she did get tired a lot faster when wearing it. She risked a glance over her shoulder; Zevran and Barkspawn were fighting a group of hurlocks close to the bridge, and Loghain was half way up the hill surrounded by a series of shrieks, genlocks and hurlocks.

The general pressed her hard; she was running away from it more than she was fighting it. It got a lucky hit in, cutting through her arm and another across her chest. She hit it with a blast of kinetic energy, off-balancing it long enough for her to down a lyrium potion. The blue liquid slid down her throat and warmed her stomach. She felt her fingers tingle with mana as the Fade once again fizzled around her. She cracked her neck and grinned.

"Tell me: why did the darkspawn cross the Alienage?" she asked it.

It grunted as it swung its axe, barely missing her neck.

"Because the force mage threw it!" She tossed it into the sky and flung it as far as she could. She heard it thud to the floor somewhere near the Vhenadahl. She skipped up the hill, sliced a few hurlocks giving Loghain grief, and then located the general once more. It was struggling to its feet, wobbling precariously as it regained its senses.

She approached slowly, sensing the end was near. She threw its arm into its face, and then did the same with the other.

"Why are you hitting yourself?" she ridiculed with a cheery laugh.

She knocked its helm off with her magic, and then slammed its head into the giant tree. It staggered toward her with a grunt, much like a drunken man. She stepped to the side just as it tried to tackle her, and it fell into the dirt. She laughed at it. Then she pulled her staff from her back, and buried the bladed end deep into the general's neck, severing its spine, and pushed up into its skull, killing it.

They regrouped; Zevran patched her wounds up tenderly as best as he could, while Loghain took a whet stone to his sword, removing the dents from it. Once they were rested, they walked across the bridge, back toward the market district.

The Archdemon suddenly roared as it descended toward them.

"Now is probably a good time to run," she said, breaking into a sprint.

The Archdemon loosed a ball of fire at the bridge behind them, destroying it; the explosion sent them flying into the stony ground.

"A good thing we don't need to go back that way!" Zevran said his voice an octave higher than usual, as he stood back up, checking himself for fire damage.

"You scared of the little dragon?" Neri mocked, with a childish grin.

He looked offended. "Scared? No, no, but I do rather like living!"

"As do I. Let's go kill it!" She grinned.

They ran into the market and found Arietta burying an axe deep in the head of an ogre. The Archdemon flew over them again, roaring and spitting purple flame.

Neri skipped over to her friends. "Miss me?" she exclaimed to Arietta and Teagan.

They turned to her with a smile, and she helped them to their feet.

"Neri!" Solona chirped cheerfully.

"You're not dead yet then?" Neri grinned, and hugged the raven haired mage.

"No chance; this is too much fun." She laughed, her eyes twinkling like sapphires.

"Neri, I have to find Alistair," Arietta said seriously.

Neri nodded. "I know." She smiled weakly. "Loghain and I will head for Fort Drakon, hopefully Riordan gets the Archdemon to land soon."

"Be careful," Arietta said, hugging Neri tight.

"You too. Good luck finding Alistair." She smiled softly.

"Take Solona and Teagan with you," Arietta said firmly.

Neri nodded. "I'll see you soon?"

Arietta bobbed her head, her eyes watering slightly. "If anything happens…"

"Don't." Neri cut her off. "It will be fine, okay?"

"Neri… if anything happens, know that I love you very much."

"Ah, you'll make me weep. I love you too. Now go save your fiancé from these stupid darkspawn." She grinned.

Arietta sprinted off toward Arl Eamon's Denerim estate with Wynne and Blossom, and Neri headed out the exit near the Chantry with Loghain, Zevran, Barkspawn, Solona and Teagan.

"Oh good, more darkspawn!" she said, cackled as a group of hurlocks and genlocks charged down the burning street.

...

Arietta sighed as she approached Arl Eamon's Denerim estate. Alistair was staying there. In theory he would still be inside… she had told him to get to safety, to hide if necessary.

The gates were twisted and crumpled on the ground; it looked like something large had trampled on them. Arietta swallowed thickly, and moved forward through the courtyard.

The scratching sensation in her mind grew stronger. "Darkspawn," she warned.

Several darkspawn and an ogre sprinted toward them. Wynne froze the ogre in place while Blossom savaged one of them. Arietta leapt around the courtyard cutting, slicing and jabbing at the darkspawn until they all fell. Only then did Arietta turn her attention back to the still frozen ogre. She grabbed its arm, swung up it, and held on to its chest plate, before burying her dagger in its eye.

The main gates were kicked in also. She stepped in cautiously, her heart in her throat as she took in the dead bodies all around them. Arietta began frantically checking each of them for golden hair. Wynne was checking them for other reasons: to see if any were still alive - they weren't. She forced herself not to think about the dead, not to think about Alistair maybe being one of them; he was still alive, he had to be.

"More darkspawn ahead," she said quietly.

She sliced into a genlock, splitting open its neck. Blossom bit down on a hurlock, dragging it across the floor before she ripped open its throat. Wynne remained back, keeping them both protected.

A shriek screamed in Arietta's ear; she turned to bury her blade in its head, but got a face full of claws. She reeled back in pain, and a stone fist slammed into the offending darkspawn sending it toppling to the floor, where Blossom buried her face in its chest.

She dabbed at the long scratch across her face, wincing in pain.

"Let me," Wynne said kindly.

Her hands glowed blue and Arietta immediately felt better.

"Thank you."

The next room was filled with darkspawn corpses, and the next, and the one after that. She recognised the clean cuts, the skulls bashed in by a shield…  _Alistair_.

Again they searched the bodies, but Alistair was not among the fallen.

Her heart was in her throat and her eyes were teary, but she pressed on.

_Just hold on, love. I am coming for you._

…

Neri ran both her hands through her hair, gripping the curls tightly. "Damn it," she muttered.

Riordan had crippled the Archdemon, but had fallen to his death in doing so.

"I guess it's up to us now," Loghain said quietly.

"Yes." She marched forward, her sword drawn.

They climbed a series of steps, and an ogre and several darkspawn greeted them.

They cut them down, working together as an unstoppable unit.

Neri laughed as she stabbed a hurlock in the groin. It reminded her of the kill she had made at Ostagar all those months ago. She had been so terrified then, terrified of the darkspawn, terrified of failing. But she was enjoying herself now; they were finally going to defeat these bastards, once and for all.

Loghain slammed a hurlock to the floor and Barkspawn tore into its chest, ripping out its heart. Solona set another group of genlocks on fire, and Zevran danced in, finishing them off with his poison-coated daggers. Teagan stayed close to Neri, his massive sword swiping in huge arcs, severing the limbs from darkspawn and occasionally cutting them in half.

They passed more burning buildings. "They could use a lick of paint!" Neri joked.

"They will need more than that," Teagan said sadly.

"Buildings can be rebuilt; the sooner we deal with the Archdemon the better," Loghain said sternly, pulling his sword out of a shriek's chest.

Then they climbed more steps, and killed yet more darkspawn before climbing some more steps.

"This place is worse than the Tower!" Solona joked.

Neri had time to gasp before a massive fire ball exploded at their feet.

…

Arietta could feel them, and as they drew closer she could hear them too; the cackles and grunts of darkspawn. If they were gathered in such large numbers in one place it could only mean one thing.

_Alistair._

They turned the corner, and came to an abrupt stop. She gasped, and several snarling faces turned to look at her, another thirty, at least, remained focused on the ogre at the end of the corridor, smashing on a door. She had time to realise that Alistair must be behind that door before the first darkspawn reached her.

She screamed and buried her daggers in it, a hurlock fell next, and then another, and another.

_I have to reach him._

Her blades clashed with a hurlock's, then Blossom grabbed its arm and her blade sunk deep into its neck. Wynne sent ice flying into a genlock archer, and Arietta ducked under a hurlock's axe. She used her momentum to slam into it, knocking it to the floor for Blossom to finish off.

She wished Neri was here; the elf could part the darkspawn and throw the ogre to the side. Instead she had to use more conventional methods. She threw down her remaining sticky bombs and Wynne used a grease spell, coating several darkspawn and the floor in oil, before she set it on fire.

The ogre's fists continued to pound on the door, and then she heard it crack. Her breath caught in her throat and everything around her slowed. A hurlock's sword was cutting through the air toward her, but she could only watch on in horror as darkspawn swarmed in through the broken vault door ahead of her.

She heard Alistair cry out, and that spurred her back into action as she dodged to the side, the blade just kissing her belly. She stabbed her dagger up through the hurlock's chin and it gurgled as it fell to the floor.

She broke into a run. "Alistair!" she screamed.

Her daggers were a blur around her and she cut through the remaining monsters, killing the ogre in one quick stab. She tackled a hurlock through the vault door, her daggers deep in its back. She looked up to see Alistair desperately punching at a hurlock that had pressed him into a corner and disarmed him. Blossom ran past her, and slammed into the offending hurlock, ripping its guts out.

Arietta staggered to her feet, and Alistair limped toward her. He was bleeding heavily from a head injury and his leg looked badly hurt, but he grinned at her, and she sobbed as she ran into his arms.

"Arietta," he rasped as he squeezed her tight.

"Alistair," she breathed, tears falling down her cheeks freely. "I thought… I thought I'd lost you. Oh, Alistair." She planted a series of kisses on his cheeks, jaw and neck, before kissing him passionately on the lips.

He breathed her in and hugged her close again, not quite believing she was really here. "I love you, I love you, I love you," he croaked as he sobbed against her.

"We can't stay here; more darkspawn approach," Wynne warned from the doorway.

"Shit," she muttered, as she felt another twenty or so darkspawn approaching. She looked down at Alistair's leg. "Can you walk, love?"

"I don't know; the adrenaline's wearing off…"

"Let me." Wynne cast a quick healing spell on him. He tested his leg and nodded, before picking up his sword and shield once more.

They rushed out the door.

"This way," Arietta grabbed his hand. She could feel the darkspawn closing in. "Stay close, Alistair." They raced down the corridor together.


	51. Desperation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Wardens fight desperately to reach their goals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has left kudos on this, only one chapter left after this!

Neri's ears were ringing. She turned her head too sharply, and pain flared through her skull. She blinked open her eyes, her head swimming and her vision a blur. She could make out colours and shapes: the red sky above her, the burning buildings around her. There was something black moving down toward her; the tingle on her skin told her it was an emissary.

She cried out as she shuffled back from it, her leg broken. Her face and hands were also badly burnt, but her armour had protected her from most of the fire. She could hear Barkspawn's whimpers not far away, and struggled to look around to find him and the others. Her vision cleared enough for her to see Loghain, Teagan and Solona all strewn across the floor, unconscious. Zevran was not far away, also just coming to his senses. Their eyes locked and they tried to reach one another by crawling across the stone ground. His face was burnt, his arms red and blistered.

The emissary laughed as it glided down the steps toward them.

She reached her hand out to Zevran, desperate to feel his touch. She had no strength left to fight, no mana left to cast a spell.

Their hands clasped together and she let out a strangled cry. "I love you," she croaked.

He hissed in pain as tears filled his eyes. "I love you too," he rasped.

The emissary readied its next spell.

She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to steady her racing heart.

_I don't want to die, I don't want to die._

She heard the hit connect, and then felt the smite wash over her lightly. Her eyes flew open just as a sword pierced the emissary. The magical darkspawn fell to the floor, clutching at its chest, and behind it stood Albert.

Her eyes went wide, but he rushed forward and crouched down in front of her. "Get up," he growled. "You have a Blight to end, remember?" He offered her his hand and she took it.

She let out a cry as she stood, her leg flaring in pain, but Albert caught her and steadied her. He looked down at her leg. "It looks broken, I need to..."

"Do it," she said through her teeth as she sat down on a step.

He nodded and touched her leg gingerly.

"Don't be such a baby now, you usually enjoy hur—ahhhhgh!" He snapped her bone back into place.

He raised a dark eyebrow at her. "You were saying?"

She glared at him, and he went to work with a health poultice. Zevran was on his feet now, a feral snarl on his face as Albert touched her leg. And suddenly Solona was on Albert's back, her hands clawing at his face.

"You!" she spat venomously, her blue eyes flashing like sparks of lightning.

Albert knocked her to the ground with a grunt; the raven haired mage bounced back to her feet and readied a spell.

"Sol," Neri warned, shaking her head. She was too tired to step forward and intervene; luckily Solona stopped with a frown.

"He's touching you! Why haven't you  _killed_  him!?" she cried.

"He saved our lives. We don't have time to discuss this now," Neri growled. "Can you heal the worst of our injuries?"

Sol checked her pockets; she pulled out some broken glass shards and grimaced. "No. I'm out of lyrium."

"I've got some!" Finn suddenly said, strolling into the clearing with Irving close behind him.

Finn got to work on Neri's still badly hurt leg, while Irving saw to Loghain, rather begrudgingly. Albert and Teagan kept a look out for more darkspawn, and soon their group was healed and ready to go again. She stared up at the gates into the fort and grimaced. It was such a tall tower, and they would have to fight their way through each bloody floor to reach the dragon on the roof.

"Go, I will defend this spot, stop more darkspawn from entering the fort," Albert said grimly.

"Thank you," she said earnestly.

"Just make sure that dragon dies," he replied with a shrug.

She nodded, and then turned to everyone else. "Let us end this."

They walked up the steps. "I didn't think we'd be back here so soon," Zevran said trying to lighten the mood.

"Me neither." She admitted, as they entered Fort Drakon.

…

They veered left just as more darkspawn came from the right, and continued to sprint down the palace halls. And then more darkspawn came at them from the other direction.

"In here," Alistair shouted, dragging her in through a door. She slammed it shut and barred it behind them.

It was quite a large room, one of the many halls the estate had. There were bodies everywhere, as they rushed past the crumpled tables and chairs to the door on the other side. Alistair grabbed the handle and twisted, but the door wouldn't budge. He slammed his shoulder into it.

"Shit," he muttered. He slammed it again, and again.

Arietta looked around desperately, running a hand through her hair. There was no other way out, except back the way they came. The loud banging now emanating from that door told her that would be a very bad idea.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." Alistair punched the door.

"The windows," Wynne said, pointing.

They all turned to look at the windows, high above them. Wynne reached into the Fade and hurled a slab of rock at one, breaking the glass.

"I'll boost you up, Wynne," Alistair said, rushing over to stand below the window.

Wynne stepped into his hands and he lifted her up, she ran her staff along the ledge to remove any loose glass shards, and then she pulled herself up and disappeared down the other side.

"You okay Wynne?" Alistair cried.

"It's quite a drop, be careful!" her small voice replied.

"You're next," Alistair said, looking at Arietta.

She shook her head violently. "No," she croaked. "Blossom next, and then you, I won't be able to pull you up."

The door behind them crashed to the floor and the darkspawn poured in.

Blossom charged toward them. "No!" Arietta screamed. Without thinking she raced in after her hound, and Alistair followed.

Arietta leapt into the air and buried her daggers in the back of a hurlock; Alistair sliced his sword across the face of a genlock, before swinging his shield into a hurlock, knocking it flat to the floor for Blossom to tear into.

They were all exhausted, their movements slower, their attacks weaker, clumsier. She dodged a hurlock's swing, but not quickly enough; its sword nicked her neck. She dropped to her knees with her hand clutching at her throat as blood coated her hand.

She heard Alistair scream, and slam into the hurlock. He pounded his fists into its skull, over and over. Arietta crawled over to him. "I'm okay, love," she croaked. "It was just a scratch."

He stopped tearing into the hurlock and clutched her closely. "I love you, I love you," he mumbled against her ear.

More darkspawn rushed in; before Alistair could rise to his feet again, Blossom tackled a hurlock, knocking it to the floor. Her sharp teeth tore into its shoulder and neck, as her claws ripped its chest to shreds.

Blossom suddenly squealed loudly, and the hurlock kicked her hard, throwing her across the floor. She rolled onto her side, and jutting out of her brown coat were three broken crossbow bolts.

Arietta screamed.

She threw herself across the floor to Blossom's side. Her hound whimpered loudly as she thrashed from side to side, desperately trying to remove the bolts from her chest, side, and shoulder with her mouth.

"Shhhh," Arietta sobbed. "I've got you, girl." She placed her hands on Blossom's side, and the mabari yelped in pain once more. Tears fell down Arietta's cheeks. "I'm gonna pull them out, okay?" she croaked. "Lie still." Blossom obeyed, whimpering quietly; her breathing was wheezy, but she was no longer thrashing. "It's okay, it'll be alright," Arietta promised. She yanked out the bolt in her shoulder, and Blossom cried out.

Arietta let out her own gargled cry, as sobs wracked through her body. Alistair put a hand on her shoulder; the rest of the darkspawn were dead. She moved her hand to remove the bolt in Blossom's lung, but her mabari cried out again at the lightest of touches. Arietta pulled her hand back as it trembled uselessly.

She looked at Alistair desperately. "I – I need Wynne," she rasped.

Alistair crouched down next to her looking at her with teary eyes, and shook his head. "Ari…"

She let out a cry. "No! I can save her."

Blossom's breathing was a ragged whisper; Arietta pulled her into her lap and stroked her head soothingly. "Good girl, you're always so good." She buried her head in Blossom's fur and breathed her in. "I love you so much," she rasped.

Alistair rubbed her back as another sob ripped through her.

Arietta let out a strangled cry as Blossom craned her head up and licked her tears away. "It's okay girl, it's okay, you can go now," Arietta sobbed.

Blossom stared up at her with her big brown eyes one final time, and then stilled in her arms.

Arietta hugged her close, sobbing softly into her fur.

"Love," Alistair whispered, as he sheltered her in his arms.

She heard footsteps, and looked up to see Wynne rushing in through the door with a pained look on her face. "Arietta, I am so sorry…" She came and crouched next to Blossom, and stroked her fur gently. She stared up at Arietta and Alistair. "We cannot stay here."

Another sob made her shudder.

"She's right, love," Alistair said softly.

Arietta wiped the tears from her cheeks and nodded. She leant down and kissed Blossom's head. "I'll come back for you, girl," she vowed.

She stood resolutely and they headed for the door.

…

The Archdemon let out a terrifying roar as Neri was no longer able to clamp its mouth shut with her magic, and a gout of purple flame erupted out of its mouth and across the roof. Neri's barrier materialised long enough to shrug off most of the damage, but she fell to her knees, utterly exhausted. Finn rushed over, and cast a rejuvenating spell on her, but even that barely helped.

Her vision was blurring at the edges, her heart was racing and her stomach was doing flips from all the lyrium she had consumed. Her head turned and everything seemed to move in slow motion. She watched Solona scream, her black hair flying wildly around her, as bolts of lightning flew from her staff into a group of genlocks. Their elven friend, Titch, was not far behind her; Neri watched helplessly as a hurlock plunged its sword through the frizzy haired elf's shoulder. Titch fell to the floor with a gargled cry, and then a tornado swept into the hurlock, lifting it into the air to smash down on the other side of the roof. Irving's shoulders sagged a little from the effort required of such a spell, but he rushed over to heal Titch.

"We can't do this much longer, Neri," Finn warned her as he helped her back to her feet.

She nodded grimly. "Help the others keep the darkspawn away from me."

He gave her a quick nod before running over to the others.

She returned her attention to the other side of the roof. Several Dalish were being thrown from the roof by a genlock alpha. Neri winced as their screams faded out of ear shot. Teagan took an opening, plunging his broadsword into the alpha's neck; the creature spun, and bashed Teagan with its shield, sending him skidding across the floor. Eamon let out a cry and charged the monster, his sword digging deep into the alpha's chest, and the creature finally collapsed, dead.

Zevran reappeared in her line of sight. He was dancing between targets. It was a slower dance than she was used to seeing from the rogue; he too was exhausted. She pushed her blade through a hurlock, as she advanced toward the dragon that was angrily stomping its feet at the far end of the roof. Loghain was at its feet, leading the attack with several dwarves, knights, Redcliffe soldiers and Neri's trusty hound. She could tell the other Warden was badly hurt; his shield was lower than it should be, and there was blood running down the side of his face.

Luckily the Archdemon itself looked to be weakening now too. Its legs had been slashed to pieces, causing blood to pool at its feet. Its wings were nothing but ripped tatters, leaving it unable to fly at all, and there were hundreds of arrows buried in between the plates of its scales. But still it struggled on, and still more darkspawn poured out of the doors and onto the roof, making everything more of a challenge. Albert was most likely long since dead.

Loghain continued to slice at the Archdemon; to his credit, he was a very determined man. She staggered closer to him and threw some glyph's down at the Archdemon's feet. More soldiers rushed over to join Loghain with the fight, and Solona came to stand with Neri, flinging ice and lightning at the dragon.

"Bet you never thought we'd be doing something like this together?" Sol said breathlessly.

"Not a chance; I'm glad you're here though," Neri replied through her teeth as she tried another spell.

The Archdemon roared and reared up on its legs before slamming back to the ground. The soldiers were thrown across the stone, but Loghain stayed on his feet, and sliced at the dragon's neck. The dragon roared again, and Neri watched completely frozen as its head swung around and snatched up Loghain in its mouth.

"No!" Neri screamed as she ran forward, leaving Sol well behind her.

The Archdemon slammed its mouth shut, she heard the sick crunch of Loghain's armour and saw the splatter of blood, and then the Archdemon tossed him aside. Loghain's body slammed to the ground, his silver armour now red, and she knew he was dead.

Neri grasped the back of her neck with both her hands. "Damn it," she muttered. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" She paced slightly.

The Archdemon roared again, and then its gaze landed on her.

"Well, shit."

An inferno erupted out of its mouth, straight toward her, and Zevran suddenly tackled her to the side. She could feel the heat of the purple flame, but they were spared the brunt of the fire by a small wall on the roof.

"You okay?" Zev asked, his eyes searching hers frantically.

She was about to reply when the Archdemon moved to stand over them. She screamed, and her barrier shimmered into view over them, just as the Archdemon spat a fireball down at them.

Zevran rolled off of her, and stared up at the beast looming over them. "Ah."

The Archdemon slammed its foot down, and she winced as her magical barrier shuddered under its weight.

"How long can you hold it?" Zev asked worriedly, still lying on his back staring up at the beast over them.

"Not long," Neri bit out.

They both looked around desperately; the mages and soldiers were attacking the dragon with everything they had, but it ignored them. She could see Solona screaming as tears rolled down her cheeks. Irving was at her side casting the most powerful storm of the century spell she had ever seen, but still the dragon ignored them and brought its massive scaled foot down on her barrier once more.

Zev clasped her hand. "I love you. I didn't think I'd ever love again…"

"Zev…"

"No, if we are about to die, my dear. I will declare my love for you properly."

The Archdemon slammed two feet down onto her barrier, and she cried out again, sweat pouring off of her.

"We are not going to die," she growled angrily.

She grabbed her knife and slit her palm, she could feel the power of her blood, feel the magic in it. The Archdemon reared again, this time, she let her barrier drop, and sent a torrent of blood into the Archdemon's face. The blood blinded it, and the dragon roared as it shook its head violently. She leapt to her feet, using her blood to fuel her spells, and hit the Archdemon with a blast of force magic, knocking it on its side. It rolled on the roof, trying to get back on its feet, but she held it down.

"Time for you to die!" she growled at the Archdemon.

She slammed its head into the stone ground, and drew her sword.

_Please, let this work._

…

Arietta raced up the stairs, with Alistair and Wynne at her side. They sprinted out the doors to the rooftop; the Archdemon's head was pinned to the ground, and standing over it was Neri, with her sword drawn.

A scream escaped Arietta's lips, and she ran forward, but Alistair grabbed her and held her back.

"No! Let go! No, NERI!" she wailed.

Neri turned to look at her grimly.

"She'll die!" Arietta elbowed Alistair, freeing herself of his grip, and she ran forward again.

Neri smiled sadly, and slammed the sword into the Archdemon's head.

Light exploded out of the dragon's skull; a beam of white light stretching up to the sky, cutting through the clouds and smoke. Neri struggled with the sword, screaming as she pulled it back out. Arietta gasped, and then the shockwave sent them all hurtling through the air. The breath was knocked out of her lungs as she slammed back into the stone.

She rolled over, clutching at her head, and then bolted up right. "Neri!" She threw herself to her feet, and sprinted across the rooftop. She dropped to her knees over the lifeless elf, and reached out with a shaky hand to feel her neck.

Seconds passed, and then she felt it: the faintest of pulses. She whimpered and held the elf close. "Wynne!" She scanned the roof for the older mage. "She's alive!"


	52. In War, Victory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter/epilogue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who left kudos/bookmarked and read this! I will be posting the sequel in a week, it is titled: The Sacrifices We Make.

Her eyes fluttered open, and a smile spread across her lips; she was alive.

Afternoon sunshine was filtering in through the window, lighting up the room. She turned her head, and her eyes landed on the sleeping form of Zevran. He was slumped in a chair, snoring softly. He looked so peaceful and calm sleeping there, she didn't want to disturb him. She quietly checked her body for injuries; her head was throbbing, every bone in her body ached, and she had still-healing blisters on her arms. She sat up slowly, and groaned as her body complained.

"Neri!" Zevran exclaimed.

She grinned at him. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," she croaked, only just realising how thirsty she was.

He rushed forward, and handed her a glass of water, and she drank greedily.

He looked so relieved. "It is so good to see you awake, amore mio."

"Mmm, and you." She smiled warmly. "How long was I out for?"

"A week."

Her stomach grumbled and they both laughed.

"Is everyone okay? What happened after I killed the Archdemon?"

"Everyone is well; most of us have been putting out fires and clearing the streets of rubble. I'll let Arietta fill you in?" She nodded her head eagerly. "She is wondering how you are alive." He smirked.

"I am not surprised in the slightest," she laughed. "Did you tell her?"

"I thought I'd let you do that," he said with a roguish grin, but then his face dropped into a slight scowl. "You used blood magic on the roof."

"I did," she said, straight-faced.

He frowned. "When did you learn such magic?"

"Avernus taught me after I asked him to; it's not proper blood magic, it uses the taint in my blood. I figured it would come in handy. I was terrified of dying, Zev; I wanted every advantage I could get," she admitted quietly.

"It saved our lives," he thoughtfully replied.

"Yes." She smiled softly, and then her stomach growled again.

"I'll get you some food." He kissed her head, his lips lingering as he breathed her in, and then turned and left the room.

A few moments later Arietta rushed in through the door, grinning ear to ear. "Neri!"

Neri was momentarily stunned as she could  _sense_  Arietta, almost like she could sense darkspawn, but then Arietta was hugging her tight.

"How are you alive!?" Arietta exclaimed.

Neri burst out laughing. "It's good to see you too," she teased.

Arietta smacked her playfully. "That's not what I meant! Maker, I'm so relieved. But I've never been more confused in my life."

Neri smirked. "The short version is Morrigan; the long version is Morrigan's mother, Flemeth."

Arietta frowned, and perched on the side of the bed. "I'd like the long version."

Neri sighed and nodded her head. "Well…"

…

Arietta paced up and down, a scowl marring her pretty little features.

"And as you can see it worked; I'd be dead without it," Neri finished.

"But this child…"

"I know, but Morrigan didn't sound like she wanted to create a monster capable of destroying Thedas. She wanted to raise it as her own, teach it values and stuff. I have to admit I'm curious what such a child would be like; a powerful mage, no doubt."

Arietta ran a hand through her hair. "I hope this doesn't come back to bite us in the ass, Neri."

"They'll be my consequences to deal with," Neri reassured her. Arietta sighed and nodded her head. "Did Morrigan stick around?"

"No, I haven't seen her at all," Arietta said quietly.

Neri nodded and sighed. "So, is Alistair okay?"

"He is. I found him in the vault with thirty darkspawn trying to break in to reach him." She shook her head. "We escaped, barely." She took a shaky breath. "Blossom she… didn't make it."

Neri hissed and swung her legs from the bed, and hobbled over to the noble. "I'm so sorry! I know how much she meant to you."

Arietta pulled away from the hug and wiped her eyes. "I gave her a pyre of her own and said goodbye properly," she almost whispered.

Neri nodded sadly. "I imagine there will be a lot of pyres over the next few weeks."

"Yes, far too many. But at least we can start to rebuild now."

Zevran walked back in carrying a tray of food and Neri grinned at him. She stuffed food into her mouth, savouring the delicious roast rabbit, flame cooked pigeon and juicy vegetables.

"I don't suppose you know what happened to Albert? He was guarding the entrance to Fort Drakon…"

Arietta gasped a little. "There was a man by the doors to the fort with black hair. He was surrounded by darkspawn corpses."

Neri nodded her head. "Sounds like him." She sighed. "He saved our lives; I think I'd like to give him a pyre."

Arietta nodded sadly. "I'll make the arrangements."

"Loghain will need one too. Is Anora okay?"

"She's been helping us, in fact. We figured if you were right about sparing Loghain you were right about working with Anora. I don't trust her…but I'll listen to her."

Neri nodded her head. "That's good." She looked down at her hands. "What about my friends? Sol? Titch? Finn?"

"Titch was badly hurt but will recover, and the others are fine. They've been helping with healing and clearing of the rubble."

There was a knock at the door, and Alistair poked his head in. "Hello."

Neri grinned. "Get in here, you."

He entered the room and blushed. "Neri, I wanted to–"

She held up her hand. "You're safe, that's all that matters." She smiled kindly.

"Still, I was immature, and I overreacted. I'm glad you're alive, truly." He smiled genuinely at her.

She nodded her head. "I am sorry I didn't tell you both sooner about the fatal blow thing, and sorry for scaring the shit out of you when you saw me slay the Archdemon." She smiled impishly. "So, are you King and Queen yet?"

They both chuckled. "My coronation is this afternoon, actually," Alistair said as he rubbed the beck of his neck nervously. "We were trying to wait for you to wake up, but we weren't sure when that was going to happen…"

"I have excellent timing then." She giggled.

Arietta nodded. "We won't marry until Ferelden is on the mend; three months, if the rebuild goes well."

"Sounds like you've been busy." Neri grinned as she finished off her dinner.

Barkspawn bounded in, and leapt up onto the bed; she let out a groan as he stood on her sore legs and licked her face. "Ah, yes, yes it's good to see you too!" She rubbed him vigorously and he flopped on to his side for a belly rub. She obliged with a grin.

Arietta looked sad for a moment before rubbing his belly also.

Leliana skipped in next. "Oh Neri! It's so good to see you awake! How are you feeling?"

"A bit sore, but alive," she said happily.

She nodded her head with a smile before turning her attention to Arietta and Alistair. "Guests are starting to arrive in the main hall; the coronation is in less than an hour."

"That's our cue to go get ready then!" Arietta said. "See you down there?" she asked Neri.

Neri nodded her head enthusiastically. "I wouldn't miss this for the world. Alistair is going to look adorable in a crown!" she crooned.

He groaned and rubbed his neck. "You are going to be insufferable from now on, aren't you?"

"I thought I was already; I guess I'll have to try harder!" She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Wonderful," he muttered, and then his face lit up. "See you soon,  _Slayer_."

Neri groaned. "Ugh! Don't you dare start calling me that  _Kingy._ "

Arietta giggled. "Actually…"

Neri stared at her with a frown. "What?"

Zevran started to chuckle. "It is your new nickname."

Neri groaned. "Slayer is my nickname?" she said incredulously.

A wide smile spread across Arietta's face. "They're calling you Neria Surana, Slayer of the Archdemon, Saviour of Denerim and Ender of the Fifth Blight," she said, holding back a laugh as Neri paled.

"You  _are_  joking?"

Arietta shook her head. "Nope!"

Neri groaned and rubbed her head. "That is the most ridiculous title I have ever heard!" They all chuckled. "What are they calling you?" Neri asked Arietta.

Arietta smiled fondly. "The Hero of Ferelden."

Neri scoffed. "That sounds cool; mine sounds absurd."

Arietta grinned. "You might not mind it once you see what I had made for you." She stood from the bed, and lifted a sheet off of an armour stand. Neri's eyes bulged, and she gasped as Arietta uncovered the armour shining in the sunlight pouring through the window.

"That's –"

Arietta nodded. "We had it treated and made especially for you."

"It's beautiful," Neri whispered. She stood up, and touched it tentatively; the black scales shone purple in the sunlight.

"There wasn't much left of its wings, so it's mostly scales," Arietta explained. "But you seemed to like your previous dragon scale set, so consider this an upgrade." She grinned.

"It's perfect." Neri turned and pulled Arietta into a hug; she then encouraged the others to join and they all shared a big group hug.

…

Alistair looked every bit the king as he walked down the aisle surrounded by cheering crowds in Cailan's golden plate armour. He climbed the steps, and the guards stood to attention as he passed them. He knelt in front of the Grand Cleric; she raised her hand and anointed him. He stood back up as King, and turned to face the cheering crowd of nobles and friends. Alistair's eyes landed on Arietta, and they both shared a smile.

He raised his hand and the crowd quietened. "My friends, we are gathered to celebrate those responsible for our victory. Of those who stood against the darkspawn siege of Denerim there are  _two_  who deserve commendation for their actions: my wife-to-be, Arietta Cousland, for gathering the armies, winning the Landsmeet, and leading the attack against the horde; and Neria Surana, for slaying the Archdemon. You are both inspirations to all you saved that day."

Neri glanced over at Arietta, and they both stepped forward together.

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I formally present to you my betrothed, who will soon be your Queen, and our best friend."

Neri and Arietta grinned at Alistair as the crowd roared with applause.

"It is hard to imagine how either of you could have aided Ferelden more. I think it will be appropriate that I return the favour. As a reward, and as an engagement present," he whispered to Arietta, "I offer you each a boon of your choice."

"I have you, I need nothing else, my love," Arietta said softly. "But I do not want the sacrifices of the Wardens to ever be forgotten again."

Alistair smiled. "Now that's a very good point. I think we can begin with a monument here in Denerim, dedicated to the Grey Wardens who have fallen: Duncan, Riordan, all of them. And it is high time some scholars were collected to learn more about the darkspawn. We'll face them again, with the dwarves as well as here."

He turned to look at Neri. "And you, my dear?"

Neri looked at the faces among the crowd; Solona and Finn grinning wildly, Titch with his bandaged shoulder, and Irving looking at her full of pride. She noticed another face behind them all, his grey hair and stiff posture making him stand out, Ser Harrison. He was smiling at her but she could see the sadness in his eyes, the regret. It was because of him she had been sent to the Tower; she saved his life with her magic all those years ago. She knew he felt partially responsible for the abuse she experienced in the Tower, but it wasn't his fault; as long as the Templars had full reign of the Circle, and could do as they please, mages would always experience abuse. She could change that though, she could stop that ever happening again, at least in Ferelden.

"I want the Circle to be given autonomy," she said brazenly. She stifled a laugh as the Grand Cleric gasped. "I believe the mages have more than proven their worth."

Alistair was momentarily stunned and shared a look with Arietta before regaining his composure, and nodding his head. "Let it be known the Circle has earned the right to watch over itself. The Tower shall be restored, and then turned over to the mages."

There was nervous chatter among the nobles watching, and Neri noticed Zevran grinning broadly at her.

Alistair turned to face the crowd. "And let it be known that the Arling of Amaranthine, once the land of Arl Howe, is now granted to the Grey Wardens. There they can rebuild, following the example of those who went before them."

Alistair turned back to them both. "I assume you will both be staying here in Denerim for the foreseeable future?"

Arietta giggled. "Well I wouldn't be a very good wife-to-be if I took off without you, now would I?"

Neri chuckled. "I wouldn't miss watching you be king for a second, Your Majesty," she teased with a mock bow.

"Oh goodie," he said with a wide smile.

Arietta gave Alistair a kiss, before hopping down the steps into Fergus' arms, and Neri did the same only with Zevran and minus the kiss to the new King.

"We did it, we really did it," Neri said as Zevran spun her around.

"I never doubted you for a second, amore mio."

She gave him a toothy grin. "Liar! You thought we were dead when the dragon was stomping on my barrier."

"Ah, very true. You have my apologies."

"You can make it up to me later," she purred.

"Neri," Irving said as he approached, along with Sol, Titch and Finn.

"First Enchanter," she said with a bow.

"You have achieved the impossible, and given to us a gift that I will never be able to thank you enough for."

"Ah, you're welcome."

"You better come visit us!" Sol cried cheerfully, she glanced at Zevran. "And bring Zevran as well," she added playfully.

Neri chuckled. "I promise I will."

Ser Harrison stepped forward next, and he pulled her into a hug. "Don't let the Grand Cleric know I said this," he whispered in her ear, "but I think giving the Circle autonomy is for the best. It won't be easy, the Templars, the nobles, the Chantry, they will all fight to see it restored to Chantry control. But you are a fighter; I think if anyone can make this work, it's you." He pulled back and smiled warmly at her. She nodded at him in return with tears prickling her eyes.

Arietta squeezed her brother tight once more. "I'm so proud of you, Etta," he said against her neck.

"It's been a long time coming, Gus," she admitted, her eyes shining with tears.

His lips parted into a slow smile. "You deserve every ounce of happiness sent your way, sweet sister." He kissed her forehead.

She weaved her way through the crowds of thankful men and women until she found Leliana.

"You look radiant, Arietta," the bard said merrily.

"As do you, Leli." She grinned. "Will you be staying at court?"

Leliana dipped her head. "Yes, if you still want me around of course."

"Absolutely!"

"Then I will remain here," she said enthusiastically.

Wynne joined them. "Congratulations Arietta, you should be proud of yourself."

"We couldn't have done it without you healing us all the time, Wynne," Arietta mused.

The older mage laughed gently. "Perhaps, but you picked up all of the broken pieces to put them back together again."

"Will you stay at court with us too?"

"I would like that very much."

"Excellent! Then I will be seeing you both shortly." She turned and found Neri finishing up talks with Sten and Oghren. Arietta already knew that Oghren planned to return to his old flame, Felsi, and Sten was going to go home.

Neri turned and grinned at Arietta. "Are you ready to face the crowd outside?" Arietta asked her best friend.

Neri put her Archdemon helmet on. "Yep!"

Arietta arched an eyebrow. "You want to hide your face?"

"Absolutely; it's no fun if everyone knows what I look like."

Arietta chuckled as she shook her head. "Very well, Slayer. Shall we?" She gave Neri her arm and the elf took it eagerly.

"Onto the next adventure," Neri laughed.

Arietta nodded at the guard, and the doors opened.


End file.
